Gin

And to drink more. You really should’ve gotten more alcohol in your system when you had the chance. At least then you might not care so much.

The bottle slowed, then teetered to a stop. On the other end, sat a very unconscious and unaware Ben.

He was slumped on the couch next to Jeff, his head tipped all the way back against the cushions, completely oblivious to the compromising position he had just ended up in. 

“Dude,” Jeff poked at him with the butt of the vodka bottle in his hand, knocking his legs to the side. When that didn’t work, Jeff rapped the bottle against Ben’s head hard enough to hear a thunk.

Ben jostled upright, rubbing at his temple as he glared at Jeff. “Fucking what?” He punctuated the -t sound at the end.

Then he noticed everyone staring at him, looking from face to face. His eyes dropped to the bottle on the table and confirmed exactly what he looked like he suspected. He looked up at you, blinking at you a couple of times as if he was processing it.

Then he dropped his head back onto the cushion, “Nah.”

You scoffed, a little wounded. “Nah?”

Ben didn’t even give you the courtesy of sitting up as he slung his arm around Jeff’s shoulders, tugging the dark-haired boy closer. He made exaggerated kissy noises against Jeff’s cheek, grinning as the other shoved at him.

“Nah. Cause if I wanted to get my dick wet, I’d know who to ask.”

Jeff barked out a laugh and shoved at Ben’s face, but he was grinning too. This spurred on some sort of wrestling match as Nina took the opportunity to steal Jeff’s vodka out of his hand, cringing as she watched them, “I don’t think they’re kidding, either.”

Ben eventually got shoved clean off the couch, landing on his back on the floor. He kicked at Jeff’s shins in retaliation, but Jeff was too busy realizing his vodka bottle had mysteriously disappeared, and somebody was taking drinks from it.

“Hey—who the fuck—” Jeff snatched it back from Nina, who was giggling behind her hand. Ben took back to closing his eyes and laying his head back on the floor, content to not acknowledge you as you glared at him.

Jeff lightly kicked at the side of Ben’s head next to his shoe as he took a swig of his vodka, then he made a ‘mmh’ noise like he’d realized something, before looking down at the blond. “Wonder if you could hotbox the closet.”

One second Ben was sprawled on the ground. In a blur, he was on his feet, snatching his translucent green bong off the coffee table with one hand and grabbing your arm with the other.

“Let’s go,” he pulled you up.

You squirmed, trying to dig your heels in. “Ben, wait—I didn’t even—”

But no one was paying attention. The group had already moved on, shuffling cards and arguing over who got to deal next while they waited for their turn. All you got as you looked back was a sly wave from Jeff. Ben tugged you down the hallway insistently. You opened your mouth to argue again when Nina’s voice rang out behind you.

“Turn on the music!”

Ben waved his hand without even looking back. The stereo in the living room suddenly blasted to life, the volume cranked way up and pumping through the floorboards. People shouted thanks as their conversations became drowned out.

Ben reached the closet door at the end of the hall and let go of your arm to open the door. You were met with the dark entrance and what appeared to be zero breathing room, and Ben pointed inside.

“Up and at ‘em. We don’t got all night.”

“Ben, you’re a serious ass, you know tha—” Your sentence is cut by Ben’s hand flying up into your face, his fingers positioned into a little sock puppet mouth pose as he mocked the words that came from your mouth sarcastically. 

“Don’t be a buzzkill,” he deadpanned.

You glared at him, crossing your arms, then turning to walk inside the closet without another word. He stepped in behind you, the two of you siding to opposite walls to face each other, but realizing just how little space there was when your shoes touched his. Ben kicked at you to move, but with all the boxes and hanging clothes around you, it was impossible not to be stepping on top of the other. When the door pulled shut, the darkness was really the cherry on top to the whole situation.

Save for the thin line of light leaking in from under the door, it was pitch black in here. The air grew warmer almost immediately as you stood in there, heavy with the dense, earthy smell of weed that always clung to the blond like a second skin.

You shifted your weight, “You gonna turn on the light?”

He didn’t answer.

You pushed, getting nervous, “Ben?”

A little chuckle came from the darkness right in front of you.

“Kinda moody in here, huh?”

You scoffed and kicked lightly at his shin. He laughed the tension from you and suddenly the bulb overhead flared on without anyone touching the chain. Soft yellow light flooded the dark space.

Ben was standing close. Closer than you expected him to be.

His blond hair was a complete mess of strands falling into his eyes and layers sticking up. The pointed tips of his ears poked out through the mess, flinching at nothing. His eyes stood out the most amongst his lightwashed palette. His black scleras encased these gleaming red irises, seemingly radiating amongst the inkly color. He was wearing an old graphic tee that had seen better days and a pair of baggy jeans held up by a chunky belt that seemed like it belonged on someone twice his size.

But what really held your attention were his tears.

They were always there as far as you knew, those dark streaks running down his pale cheeks. Up close, you could see how they slowly dissolved into the air right around his jawline, fading like they were dissolving. Fresh ones kept forming at the corners of his eyes, sliding down his skin before they too fizzled out into nothing and started again.

But for a boy who was always crying, you didn’t feel very bad, considering he always found a way to pester your sentimentality away.

“Take a picture or something.”

You snapped out of it, “What?”

“You’re staring.”

Ben began packing the bowl for the bong, pressing his back against the wall and sliding down until he was sitting on the floor. You followed, awkwardly avoiding his limbs as you settled across from him and became packed in by the boxes and junk. He would randomly ask you to hold something—the bowl, the bong itself, a small bag of weed—but otherwise stayed quiet, focused on what he was doing. You took the opportunity to explore the boxes on the floor around you. Most of it was junk like old magazines, tangled string lights, and dusty clothes. But you dug deeper into one box and lit up.

“Oh my god, it’s a Game Boy!” you exclaimed, pulling the little purple device out triumphantly.

Ben raised an eyebrow. “That’s probably been in here for years. Bet it’s dead.”

You groaned, pressing the power button anyway. Nothing happened. “Of course.”

Ben held his hand out. You passed it over, thinking maybe he would chuck it away, but he pressed the power button and the screen flickered to life with it’s little electronic chime.

He handed it back with a smug little grin. “You’re welcome.”

You took it eagerly and immediately started playing Tetris, the familiar music crackling through the old speakers. Ben finished packing the bowl, fishing in his pockets for his lighter as he leaned forward to look over your screen.

“You’re gonna die,” he said flatly when you tried to force a line.

“Shut up, I’ve got this,” you pushed back, laughing when the blocks stacked up anyway.

Ben lit the bowl and took a couple of hits to get it started, holding his breath in before exhaling a thick cloud of smoke toward the ceiling. The sweet smell of weed quickly filled the air, mixing with the dust and old coats to give you a sensory overloaded experience.

He held it out to you. “Your turn, loser.”

You shook your head, too focused on the little screen. “I’m playing my game.”

You were so close to clearing the level, but just before passing, the blocks suddenly pixelated out of the border, and the whole board filled up instantly. GAME OVER popped across the screen as the power to the toy cut off.

You let out an exasperated groan and tossed the Game Boy back into the box it came from. “I don’t want any. I’ve never even used one of those anyway, I wouldn’t know what to do.”

Ben scoffed from where he was sitting, going to light the bowl again. “Figures.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, “What does that mean?”

He took a long hit, the water bubbling loudly as smoke filled the chamber. He held it for a second, then exhaled a thick cloud toward your face before shrugging, smoke filtering from his lips as he spoke.

“There’s no way you’ve made it this far in life and haven’t hit a bong. That’s such lame-ass behavior.”

You scoffed right back and kicked at his leg. “I’ll probably get a contact high just from being in here with you, asshole.”

Ben rolled his eyes and shoved the bong into your hands anyway. “Shut your yapping and listen to me.”

You stared at the glass piece like it might bite you. Ben leaned over and started rummaging through the junk around you. He pulled out a couple of old shirts and towels, then turned and started stuffing them tightly under the crack of the closet door, sealing it as best he could.

Ben was satisfied with his little setup. He turned back to face you and gripped the neck of the bong. He adjusted it in your hands, showing you how to hold it properly, then pressed the mouthpiece against your lips.

“Alright, listen,” he said, surprisingly non-sarcastically. “When I light it, you’re gonna inhale. It burns a little more than normal weed, so take it easy at first. Don’t try to be a hero or anything.”

You’d never seen Ben this attentive with something before. It made you laugh a little under your breath.

He immediately got defensive, shoving at your shoulder. “What? Shut up.”

“Sorry, sorry,” you smiled. “Alright. I’m ready.”

You pressed your lips to the rim. Ben sparked the lighter and held it to the bowl, angling the neck for you. The second smoke clouded the chamber, you inhaled.

It hit a lot harder than you realized it would.

The smoke burned with this heaviness that cigarettes don’t have. You tried to hold it like you’d seen others do, but your throat closed up fast and you got choked. You only managed a tiny breath before pulling back, coughing in fits as smoke sputtered out of your mouth in puffs. You pushed the bong away from your face, your eyes already watering.

Ben busted out laughing, falling back against the wall. “That was so shit.”

You swatted at him between coughs, “Shut up—it burns—”

“You have to go again. That barely counted.”

You waved him off, trying to catch your breath. “Give me a second. Jesus Christ…”

You had barely gotten any and your head was already swimmy. Your throat burned. You weren’t sure if this was supposed to be fun, but half the mansion seemed obsessed with getting high on the roof most nights. You wanted to understand why.

So you took the bong back from him.

Ben leaned back forward and sparked up the lighter again. “Take it slower this time. Don’t suck it like a vacuum, just take a deep breath.”

You pressed your lips to the mouthpiece again. Ben lit the bowl, and you inhaled a bit slower this time, trying to let the smoke fill your lungs without choking on it. It still burned, but you managed to hold it longer. When you finally pulled away, you coughed again, but not as violently. Smoke curled out of your mouth as you handed the bong back to Ben, coughing only in small gasps now.

He just grinned at you as he sat the bong next to him. “Atta girl.”

You leaned your head back against the wall and took a few deep breaths, trying to settle yourself as you stared to the ceiling. Dust mites floated in the space overhead, swimming in the light and the smoke that now floated through the space. You feel hazy, like everything has begun to feel pressurized and dazed, like you were looking at the world through a thick sheet of film. You hadn’t noticed it before, but the constant thump of the music from the living room vibrated up through the floorboards and into your legs, vibrating the rest of your body along with it.

You were jarred from your state by the feeling of something tugging at your shoe. You looked down to see Ben absently playing with the laces of your shoe, twisting them around his finger and playing with the strings.

He shoved your leg away when you began to giggle a bit.

“How do you feel?” he hummed.

“Weird.”

Ben nodded, “Yeah.” Then, after a beat, “Just wait until you start feeling the bugs under your skin.”

Your eyes widened. “What?”

He held the serious expression for half a second before cracking into a grin, “I’m kidding.”

You shivered anyway, but the laugh bubbled out of you before you could stop it. It felt ridiculous, the kind of laugh that made your shoulders shake even though nothing was really even that funny. Ben’s laugh mixed with yours until you were both giggling.

Ben suddenly sat up a little straighter, like a thought had just hit him. “Oh shit, wait— here, look at this.”

He leaned forward and dug into his back pocket, pulling out his very cracked phone. The screen was covered in tiny fractures, but it still lit up when he tapped it. You watched curiously as he swiped through a few things, then clicked on a video and turned the phone toward you, placing it carefully in your hands.

You immediately narrowed your eyes. “If you’re about to show me porn, I’ll kill you.”

Ben just laughed and put his hand on top of your head, angling your face down toward the screen. “Shhh. Just watch.”

It was one of those weird trippy videos that had a colorful illusion flowing across the screen, everything really vibrant and clear in an uncanny way. At first you laughed, saying, “These are so stupid,” but the longer you stared, the harder it became to look away. It felt strange… like the swirling shapes and shifting grids held all of your attention.

Ben smiled, clearly satisfied. “Yeah, I know that’s right.”

He went back to absently playing with the laces of your shoe, twisting and untwisting them as you watched his phone.

Without you even touching the screen, the video started scrolling on its own, showcasing new patterns and swirling colors fading in every few seconds. You watched, mesmerized, as the shapes twisted and folded into themselves before scrolling to another video.

You didn’t look up from the phone when you said, “It’s so stupid that you can just do that.”

Ben sighed, “Perks of being me, y'know."

You laughed when the videos scrolled onto Minecraft parkour runs instead.

“It must be so easy,” you mumbled, “just turning on and using whatever you want without using your hands.”

Ben hummed in agreement, clearly amused at your interest in him. You couldn’t help but blurt out, “And getting blackmail on everyone.”

He laughed outright at that. He let his arm rest across your shins, “You have no idea.”

The screen changed again. This time it wasn’t a video—it was his photos. The image that popped up was of a skinny little pale boy with messy brown hair, missing a couple teeth, and grinning bigtime for a school photo. It just looked to be a ratty little kid.

You stared, trying to place him. “Who is that?”

Ben smiled, “Jeff.”

You looked back down at the photo, then up at Ben again. A surprised laugh barked out of you before you could stop it.

“No way,” you grinned. “That’s Jeff? He looks so… little.”

“His mugshots aren’t much better either.”

Ben reaches for his phone and pockets it before reaching down for the bong again. He lit it, took a hit, and passed it over to you like before.

You managed it on your own this time, though Ben still held the lighter for you, how courteous. Smoke plumed out and joined the cloud overhead. You wondered how long you’d actually been in here? Two minutes? Two hours? Time felt slippery now, hard to pin down. But you were starting to understand the appeal. Everything felt softer, a lot slower.

You passed the bong back and asked, “What do you even do when you’re high?”

Ben thought about it for a second, his hand falling back to rest on your shins and rubbing absently along your pant leg. He clearly didn’t think about it too hard, though.

“Jerk off,” he said plainly.

Your face heated at your cheeks. You rolled your eyes and kicked at him. “Be serious.”

He rolled his eyes back at you. “I’m not lying. Nothing feels better than getting high as fuck and jerking your shit. Lol.” He said “lol” part out loud at the end, which made you cringe so hard you thought you might die.

Then he gave you a real answer, “Eat. Play Siege. Go for walks…” 

At that, he seemed to think of something, then patted your leg eagerly. “Do you want to go somewhere?”

You looked at him before glancing toward the door. “But… we’re playing the game.”

Ben waved that off. “Nah. I got lumped into this. I’m not even really playing, I just did it cause it was you.”

You tensed a little. “Where? Won’t the others get worried?”

He was already starting to stand, pushing his messy blond hair out of his face as he picked up the bong too. “Just come on.”

You pushed yourself up to stand with him, surprised by how airy your body felt, like your limbs were a little lighter than usual, a gentle swimmy sensation rolling through you as you rose into the thick cloud of smoke that was previously hovering over your head. 

Ben gripped the door handle, cracking it open just a sliver to peek into the hallway first. Then he reached back, his hand sliding snugly around yours as he opened the door the rest of the way and stepped out.

You couldn’t help but laugh as the smoke poured out, drifting lazily down the hall out ahead of you. The cool air from the hallway hit your skin and you sighed, relieved by the fresh rush against your flushed cheeks. Ben kept a hold on your hand, guiding you through the halls and around corners, dodging a couple lingering around in empty rooms as he dropped his bong on the hallway table and pushed out the back.

You eventually pushed through the back door and stepped out onto the deck. The night air was crisp and clean, a welcome contrast to the smoky warmth of the house. You climbed down the stairs after him, stepping out into the yard.

“Where are we going?” you asked again.

Ben glanced back at you. “Somewhere nicer.”

You didn’t argue. Instead, you just absently held his hand as he pulled you across the backyard toward the treeline. The grass was cool and damp under your shoes. He led you down a narrow path you didn’t recognize, the trees closing in around you until the lights and noise of the mansion faded into the distance behind you, replaced by the rustle of leaves and the occasional hoot of an owl somewhere far off.

You glanced over at him. Ben’s dark eyes were half-lidded now as he walked the path, he looked sleepy, and it made you giggle.

Ben glared at you playfully. “Hush.”

“Your eyes look funny,” you smiled.

He grinned down at you lazily, “Yours look pretty funny too. Geeked as hell.”

As you kept walking, the moonlight grew more and more filtered by the canopy overhead until the darkness felt more dense than back at the house. In the little moonlight, Ben’s red irises seemed to glow against the black of his pupils, like two small embers smoldering in the night. You found yourself getting lost in them, staring a little too long, until your foot caught on a root and you stumbled forward.

Ben’s hand tightened around yours, pulling you upright before you could fall.

“Careful,” he teased, “don’t fall on your ass.”

You shoved at his shoulder. “Worry about your own ass.”

Then he slowed to a stop. “We’re here.”

You looked forward and felt your breath leave you.

The trees opened up into a small quarry, the ground dropping into a clear swimming hole. Moonlight spilled across the water’s surface, sparkling like scattered diamonds as it rippled and sloshed against the bank. The whole place felt like a dream, the air carrying the scent of pine and wet river stones.

“Wow…” you whispered, stepping out from the treeline and onto the rocky bank. The view was beautiful, peaceful in a way the rest of tonight wasn’t.

“Not bad, right?”

You tilted your head to him. “How did you even find this place?”

“Followed EJ out here one night ‘cause I was bored. He comes out here sometimes really late. I liked it, so now I sneak out when everyone’s being annoying.”

You smiled at him, unable to resist teasing him. “Wow. He does feel.”

Ben rolled his eyes, but smiled nonetheless.

You turned back toward the water, letting the cool night air wash over your skin. It felt good after the density in the mansion. The soft lap of the water was enough to drown everything else out.

Before you heard shuffling behind you. 

You felt as Ben walked up behind you, his presence radiating. He was close. You froze as you felt his arms slide around your waist from behind, pulling you gently back against his chest. He rested his chin on your shoulder, his warm breath brushing your neck and sending goosebumps lining your skin.

“Ben?” you sounded as confused as you felt.

He hummed softly, “It’s nice tonight.”

Your heart hammered in your chest. You stood there stiffly, staring out at the water, half-convinced this was some kind of sick joke. But your cheeks burned so bad you might’ve hoped it wasn’t.

“The water sure is pretty, huh?” he murmured.

You nodded, still trying to figure out what was happening.

“Wanna get a closer look?”

Then, you felt his hands slide from around your waist, and a hard shove on your back.

You stumbled forward with a startled yelp, your arms windmilling out in front of you as you lost your balance. The bank dropped off sharply, and you plunged into the cold water below with a loud splash. It was only waist-deep, but the cold shock still knocked the breath out of you. You came up sputtering, your hair plastered to your face and your clothes hanging wetly off your body.

You whipped around, coughing and gawking up at the bank.

Ben stood there wide-eyed and bushy tailed.

“You—you asshole!” you choked out, wiping water from your eyes.

“You should see your face right now.”

Ben dug into his pocket, pulled out his cracked phone, and snapped a quick photo of you standing there dripping wet. The flash lit up the quarry for a split second, as well as your irritated face.

He just tossed his phone onto the grass and reached back to tug his shirt over his head. Your mouth went a little dry at the sight of his lean, pale torso standing against the moonlight, the subtle lines of muscle shifting as he moved. He unclasped his belt and slid it from loops, then shoved his jeans and shoes off, leaving him in just his green boxers—which made you scoff. Without another word, he took a running start off the bank and dove into the deeper water.

The splash sprayed onto you. You braced your arms up, but still got soaked all over again. When the water settled, Ben popped back up, shaking his head like a dog. His blond hair was dark and flat against his skull for a second before he ran both hands through it, messing it back up into a dripping frizz.

You waded towards the dock. “You’re insane.”

Ben sighed dramatically, already treading out toward the deeper part of the swimming hole. “Relax. It’s just water.”

You climbed back up onto the bank, irritated but also weirdly energized by the need to pester the blond back. You kicked off your sopping shoes. Two could play this game.

You started peeling off your wet jeans, the denim clinging stubbornly to your legs before you finally yanked them off. Then you grabbed the hem of your soaked shirt and pulled it up and over your head, tossing both garments onto the grass with a wet plop. You were left in just your bra and panties, the night air raising goosebumps across your skin.

Ben had gone quiet.

You glanced over as you stepped back toward the water. He was watching you the entire time. His face had disappeared under the surface, only his eyes floating above the surface as he watched you move into the shallows, staring at you like he was trying to commit the sight to memory.

You waded out toward the deeper part, the cold water rising up your thighs, then your waist. The stones and moss felt slick under your feet. Your high made all the textures and temperature of the water elevated, all your senses alight with different sensations and feelings that couldn’t be described as anything other than good.

When you finally waded out to where he was, your feet barely touched the bottom, forcing you to tread water to stay afloat. Ben didn’t say anything at first. He just watched you approach. When you got close enough, he rose a little higher out of the water, blinking at you with those pretty glowing red eyes.

His gaze shot down to your chest for half a second before snapping back up to your face. The moonlight shone softly over both of you, catching in the droplets on your skin and making everything look a little unreal, a little dreamlike.

You tilted your head, smiling a little. “What’s the matter?”

Ben huffed, looking away toward the trees. “You’re a tease.”

You didn’t believe him for a second. You reached out, letting your fingers trace lightly down his chest, smearing the water across his pale skin. His muscles twitched under your touch like it shocked him. Ben stayed quiet, but you could see the way his jaw tightened.

Just as he opened his mouth to speak, you splashed the biggest wave of water you could right into his face.

Ben sputtered, wiping at his eyes as you burst out laughing, clutching your stomach so hard you almost went under.

“You were so shy!” you teased. “Look at you—”

He didn’t even let you finish. Ben splashed a wave right back at you, drenching your face and hair. You squealed, laughing harder as the cold water hit you, and the fight was on.

The two of you went back and forth, splashing and dodging like kids, the quarry echoing with your laughter and his playful curses. Every time you thought you had the upper hand, Ben would lunge forward and send a huge splash your way, grinning like an idiot the whole time. Water flew everywhere, catching the moonlight in bright arcs as you both tried to outdo the other.

At one point you tried to swim away, but Ben caught your ankle and yanked you back, pulling you toward him until you were both laughing too hard to keep splashing at the other properly. You ended up pushing at his shoulders while he wrapped an arm around your waist to keep you from escaping.

“You started it,” he accused.

“You deserved it,” you shot back.

You registered where Ben’s hands were the moment they gripped your hips under the water, his palms warm against your skin as you tried to stabilize yourself in the deeper part. Ben noticed your struggle and pulled you closer to him.

“Wrap your legs around my hips,” he mumbled.

Your heart hammered as you did what he asked, hooking your legs around him. Ben’s hands slid down to support your thighs, holding you up effortlessly in the water. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders for balance, feeling the cool water lapping up around your bodies as you floated together.

“This is kinda hot,” the blond said, completely shameless.

You swatted at his shoulder. “You’re such a pervert.”

Ben shrugged. “It’s hard not to be when you’re around.”

You noticed then how the water mixed with the dark tears that always ran down his cheeks. They smeared into wet gray streaks across his pale skin. Without thinking, you reached up and wiped at them with your thumb, cleaning the streaks away before new dark tears reappeared.

Ben blinked at you, surprised, but made no move to say anything about it. His hands started roaming, sliding over your legs and hips, then slipping back toward your ass. You pinched his shoulder.

“Careful,” you warned, though your tone was soft.

Ben groaned at you, his fingers hooking into the hem of your panties at your waist and giving them a little tug.

“This isn’t fair,” he complained, knotting his brow.

You hummed. “Life isn’t fair.”

“Yeah, but you could be to me, you know.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? And what have you done to deserve my fairness?”

You traced a finger along his jaw as you said it. Ben’s expression shifted into a pout, his gaze dropping to your lips for a second before back up to your eyes.

“I’ll be nice,” he sounded almost sweetly.

You gawked at him, exasperated at that answer. “So you’ll only be nice when you want something? That’s what I'm hearing?”

Ben tugged you closer by the waist, bodies brushing under the water.

“Yeah,” he admitted, before pinching your hip in return. “But I know you like it when I’m mean.”

You saw his angle, watching as his eyes dipped down and he tried to lean in closer toward your lips.

You cut him off by pressing your hand over his mouth. Then you untangled your legs from around his hips, pushing away with a laugh. Ben let you go, but not without complaining. “Awh, c’mon. You know you want me.”

You waded toward the shallow bank, glancing over your shoulder at him with a grin. Once the water was only knee-deep, you stepped out onto the grass, the cool air chilling your wet skin. Your clothes were soaked through where you had dropped them, so you laid them out flat on the grass to dry.

Behind you, you heard Ben leaving the water too. Then came a low whistle.

You turned to see him staring shamelessly at your ass while you were bent over arranging your clothes. You straightened up and flipped him off, before treading over to a dry patch of grass and sitting down.

Ben followed, dropping down beside you. You both lay back, looking up at the moon and the scattered stars, letting the breeze slowly dry your skin. 

You broke the comfortable silence first.

“I guess we’ll have to wait until my clothes dry before we go back.”

Ben shifted beside you, propping himself up on one elbow so he could look down at you. A few droplets of water fell from his messy blond hair onto your shoulder. 

“I know a way we could pass the time.”

You shoved at his face, pushing him back down to the grass with a laugh. “You’re relentless.”

He chuckled but didn’t push it, settling back beside you again.

You stared up at the sky, your mind still a little swimmy and dense from the weed earlier. Your high had settled into a pleasant wave that made everything feel softer around the edges. You reached down and plucked at a few blades of grass, rolling them between your fingers.

The question slipped out before you could stop it.

“Why do you smoke so much?”

Ben was quiet for a long moment. You could hear the rustle of grass as he shifted beside you.

“I like the way it makes me feel,” he said eventually. “Like… it makes me feel real. Like not just a bunch of code crammed into a body. I guess.”

You turned your head to look at him. He was still staring up at the stars, red eyes reflecting the moonlight above. For once, you didn’t think he looked all that bratty.

You didn’t know what to say to that, so you just stayed silent, the two of you lying side by side under the night sky.

Until you felt a hand trace lightly along your waist, fingertips brushing your bare skin. You shivered a bit at the contact. You leaned up on your elbows, glaring at him. “Ben—”

“And it feels extra good when I do this when I’m high,” he gleamed.

You opened your mouth to question him, but you felt what he was talking about soon after.

It started prickly, like when your hand goes numb after sitting on it too long. Then it shifted into something else—a sort of staticky buzz, like the old TV static you used to get when you put your face too close to the screen, but a margin more intense. It followed wherever his fingers moved, crackling warmly across your skin.

“What is that?” You gasped.

“Dunno. Energy? I think? It just feels awesome when I’m jerking off.”

You watched, wide-eyed, as Ben’s hand rubbed slowly over your abdomen, then your waist, then down to your hips. The static sensation made your muscles twitch, a soft whine slipping out of your mouth before you could stop it.

“Feels nice, right?” he asked.

“It feels weird,” you managed, voice a little too breathy for your liking.

But he didn’t stop. His hand continued its path down your thighs, then back up to your ribs. Your breath caught sharply when his fingers brushed a particularly sensitive spot just under your chest, and Ben’s smile widened as he watched your face.

“Shut it,” you muttered, feeling your cheeks burning.

“Careful,” he teased, “or I might think you like it.”

His hand kept moving, inching ever so slowly toward the hem of your panties. His voice dropped quieter, almost to a murmur.

“Do you like it?”

It was hard to think straight with all the sensations buzzing across your skin, but you nodded, fingers gripping the blades of grass beneath you.

Ben’s hand inched further down. “What if I keep going?”

You finally looked at him, blinking up at his face as he leaned closer over you. You were so annoyed by him it was ridiculous—that lazy grin, those ember eyes, the way he always seemed to know exactly how to push your buttons. But maybe it was the weed, or the buzz in the air, or just how purely horny you were in this moment, because you nodded again.

Ben finally leaned in, tilting his head down to press his lips to yours. At the same time, his fingers pressed against you over your panties. Your legs immediately tried to snap shut, but he was already between them. You gasped into the kiss, one hand gripping his arm tightly while the other tangled in his messy blond hair.

He kissed you deeply, wet tongue sliding against yours as his fingers began to rub little circles over your folds through the damp fabric. The static sensation from his touch lit up your nerves like fireworks, making your hips twitch up into his hand. He ground his palm against your cunt, drawing a muffled moan from you.

Then he pulled back just enough to look at you, breathing a little heavier.

“You’re so wet,” he teased, pecking your lips.

You let out an exhausted laugh, still trying to catch your breath. “It’s just ‘cause I wore them in the water.”

Ben shushed you, trying to hide his smile against your lips. “Don’t ruin this for me, yeah?”

You smiled against his mouth, nodding as he kissed you once more. His fingers kept up that rhythm, rubbing and pressing through your panties until you were squirming under him, your hips rolling up frequently to meet his touch.

Ben chuckled as you whined under him. “You’re so noisy,” he murmured, nipping at your cheek. “Pipe down before someone hears you.”

You cursed under your breath. “Then stop teasing me.”

He pulled back just enough to look at you, eyebrows raised in mock exasperation. “Teasing? Girlie, this is not teasing. This is—”

He let his hand slip away from you completely, leaving you aching and frustrated. Then, with a wicked little grin, he hovered just one finger above your clit. Tiny pulses of static electricity danced from his fingertip, teasing the sensitive bundle of nerves without any real pressure. 

“Cut it out,” you whined.

Ben tilted his head. “Then you need to talk nicer to me.”

You huffed, feeling embarrassed, but the ache between your legs won out. “Please…”

He hummed, pretending to think it over. “I don’t listen to babies. I listen to big girls who know how to use their words.”

Your face flushed hot. For a second you wondered if you were dreaming—this couldn’t be real life, not with Ben saying something so lewd.

“Are you gonna be a big girl?”

He finally pressed his finger firmly against your clit firmly, causing you to sputter out, “Will you… finger me please?”

Ben hummed again, “Nah.”

You groaned in frustration. “You’re doing this again? Nah??”

He patted your cunt before pulling his hand away and rolling onto his back beside you, tucking his hands behind his head like he was settling in for a nap. You lay there, hot and bothered and honestly a little angry, staring up at the stars while Ben looked far too pleased with himself.

“Ben…” You whined.

He just unrepentantly closed his eyes, the picture of relaxation. “I wish I had some food right now. I’m starving.”

You scoffed, sitting up and looking down at him. “Benjamin.”

Ben finally cracked an eyelid open, eyeing you. “I know a snack I could have.”

You hit his chest, but he caught your hand and tugged you down toward him. He pecked your lips as he spoke, “Will you ride my face?”

You pulled back and covered your face with both hands, mortified. “Fuck off.”

Ben tsked, clearly enjoying the reactions he was getting out of you. “Nah. I know you’re into that freaky shit. I’ve seen your browser history.”

You glared at him, but the flush on your face only got worse. His fingers traced your hips again, hooking into the waistband of your panties and tugging at them playfully.

He lay back fully, pulling at your hands until you were kneeling next to him. “Come on, girlie. Don’t be shy.”

You told him to quit, but your body was already moving. You turned away from him so your back faced his head, and slowly swung one leg over. Ben got excited immediately, his hands guiding your thigh as you straddled his face, kneeling on your knees. You placed your hands on his abdomen, bracing your weight against him as his fingers gripped and prodded at your hips, pulling you down.

“I don’t want any of that hovering shit either.” Ben sounded overly eager. “Sit dooown.”

Ben tugged your hips roughly. You gasped when you felt his lips press against you over the fabric of your panties, his breath creating damp spots against the soaked material. You felt your lips falling open as he kissed repeatedly over your clit.

“Been waiting for this,” he muttered, groaning against your cunt.

He reached up and tugged the lining of your panties aside. The air hit your bare skin and made you shiver, nervousness making the hair on your arms stand up. Then you felt his finger press against your folds, smearing your wetness up to your clit and watching how slick collected on his thumb. You couldn’t clamp your thighs shut due to his head, so you literally had to just take it. 

“So you are wet,” Ben chuckled. His thumb pushed through your folds, collecting more of your slick where you hovered over his mouth. He brought his thumb to his lips and you heard the wet sound of him sucking it clean. Then his hands were back around your hips and gripping your ass firmly. You jumped at the touch.

“Whine to somebody who cares,” he pulled your hips down and connected your bare cunt with his mouth.

You felt him exhale against your skin before his tongue licked across your folds in long strokes, lapping at your cunt like candy. He groaned loudly under you, the sound muffling straight through your core as his hands gripped your ass, pulling you down harder onto his face and digging your knees into the ground.

His tongue split your folds, dragging over your clit and up to your entrance. He prodded that spot before sucking on your clit with wet, obnoxious kisses. His jaw and chin worked eagerly, drinking in every bit of your arousal as it dripped onto his tongue. You dug your nails into his taut abdomen, feeling the muscles strain under your fingers as he held you in place, refusing to give you a moment to adjust.

His fingers kneaded and tugged at your ass, pulling your panties taut and snapping the waistband against your skin until your skin welted from the impacts. You tried to hit his stomach, gasping out, “Ben—chill out, you’re being too rough—”

He patted your ass in response, humming a pleased little sound that made you shiver. He dug his heels into the grass, his thighs straining.

You hung your head between your shoulders, panting in quick little inhales because you were so overwhelmed. It was hard to focus with all the sensations writhing through your head. You found your legs were beginning to shake under you, your muscles tensing to hold yourself steady.

You felt him breathing heavily against you, his tongue slurping and making those lewd, wet noises that made you groan and cringe.

“This is so nasty,” you panted, but that didn’t stop how good it felt.

Ben eventually let up, pulling your ass up just enough so he could talk, his thumb taking over and rubbing circles over your clit instead. He sounded amused.

“If it’s so nasty, then why are you grinding on me?”

You shook your head quickly. “I’m not—”

“Yeah you are,” he chided, and smacked your ass with his other hand.

You jerked at the sharp sting. Ben kissed the inside of your thigh.

“You’re so dirty,” he murmured, teasing the hide off of you. “Such a dirty girl.”

Then he pulled you back down onto his face. This time his tongue pushed up between your folds and pressed right against your entrance, lapping at it before pushing inside you.

You gasped sharply, your arms buckling as you fell forward onto your forearms on top of him, landing you with a face-full. Inside Ben’s already wet boxers, the frustratingly hot outline of his cock was clear and laid across his hip, jerking and pulsing in time with his movements under you.

You gasped again, trying to regulate your breathing as Ben began to tongue-fuck you properly. The wet muscle thrust in and out, pushing inside you while his thumb continued rubbing firm circles on your clit. Your thighs trembled on either side of his head. You couldn’t stop staring at the way his cock twitched in his boxers, the sight making your stomach tighten with heat.

You couldn’t help yourself. There was no room left for shame when you’d already gone this far.

You propped your weight on one arm, then reached down with the other, pressing your hand over the thick outline of his cock over his boxers. Ben’s hips jerked up at the contact, a muffled noise grumbling against your cunt before he pulled back just enough to huff a laugh.

“Ooh yeah… that’s much better.”

He ground up into your hand, and you wrapped your fingers around his clothed length, letting him thrust into your grip. You heard him grunt and groan as he went back to eating you, not even making you work for it, just fucking your hand with all the lack of embarrassment he hsd.

You watched with wide eyes, panting as you felt every wet brush of his tongue. Your mind started to wander, imagining what it would feel like if that cock was inside you instead. The thought made you whine, gritting out, “You’re so mean to me.”

Ben hummed a little “nuh uh” against your cunt.

“Yes you are,” you breathed, deciding that you’d rather grind fully against his mouth than pretend like you didn’t want it.

You pushed your hand under his boxers, his skin cool and damp underneath. Your fingers found the hard length of him and wrapped around it, gripping the middle and tightening your fingers until you heard the blond groan behind you. You felt so frustrated at how turned on you were, the words bubbling out before you could stop them,

“But it turns me on so bad, Ben. You’re so frustrating… but I just want you to make me cum.”

Ben’s grip on your ass tightened, nails digging into your skin as he growled against you.

“I can make you cum, girlie. As many times as you want. I’ll do anything for this pussy.”

You groaned, starting to stroke his cock slowly, feeling it throb in your hand. Ben jerked his hips up into your grip, but you helped him now, rubbing your thumb over the leaking head, spreading the slick precum as you pumped him.

You pulled back the waistband of his boxers, his cock springing out sending droplets of pre across his abdomen. It was long, the tip a dark, swollen red with thin veins running up the sides, curving just slightly toward his navel. You stared at it for a second, mesmerized, before pumping it slowly. You watched his tip disappear into your fist and reappear, glistening your thumb with precum.

You leaned down, and it was like Ben already knew what you were about to do. His hips bucked up excitedly toward your face, an eager sound rumbling from behind you.

You parted your lips, taking a shaky breath before sticking your tongue out. The first lick across his slit made Ben pull off your cunt with a loud, obnoxious moan, his chest heaving as you lapped at the bead of precum leaking from him.

“Fuck—” he cursed. He kissed your cunt again, taking shaky breaths like he was trying to pull his composure together.

You closed your eyes and sucked lightly on his tip, running the flat of your tongue along his slit until more precum dribbled out onto your tastebuds. The salty taste made you hum softly around him. You pushed your hips back against Ben’s face, silently urging him not to stop what he was doing.

He took the hint with earnest hunger. His tongues dove back in, his lips sucking against you so intently you think he must be thanking you. You took more of him into your mouth, sucking gently while your hand stroked what you couldn’t fit. 

Ben fucked up into your mouth the best you would let him. The angle was awkward, but you took as much of him as you could, wetting his cock before popping off to focus on the head. Your other hand slid up to press against his pelvis, your fingers tangling in the messy patch of pubic hair at the base of him.

You felt how he worked with you—how every time he pulled your body down, you took more of his cock when he’d buck up to yiu, your eyes pricking with tears as the head bumped against the roof of your mouth. Your tongue swept along the underside of him, trying your damnedest not to graze him with your teeth.

Ben slurred against you, his lips wet with your slick and smearing it between your thighs.

“Let me know if this is too much.”

You couldn’t question him with your mouth full, so you only realized what he meant when you felt that familiar static sensation bloom from his hands again. It started at your hips and spread inward, prickling your nerves, like electricity buzzing under your skin.

You squirmed, popping off his cock with a wet gasp as the feeling intensified. 

“Oou, shit…” you whined.

Then it grew louder when his thumb pressed firmly against your clit, sending a current through you. Your body lit up, nerves firing from one end to the other as you tensed at the overwhelming sensation. It felt like you were being run through with electricity, like your bones themselves were vibrating inside you. You thought your pussy might go numb from how intense it was.

You silenced your whines by sinking back down on his cock, bobbing your head up and down to distract yourself, to not become completely overwhelmed. It hardly worked. The static buzz mixed with the thick heat of him in your mouth and the relentless work of his tongue made your head spin.

You felt like you couldn’t grind your clit against his tongue hard enough, like Ben had just stuck his tongue out and let you use it desperately. Your hips rolled and bucked, chasing that perfect pressure as the pleasure built higher and higher.

“Mmhnn…”

You tried to stave it off, if only to hold back the embarrassment of cumming before him. You angled your head down, letting the head of his cock slide along your tongue toward the back of your throat instead of bumping the roof of your mouth. You scrunched your face, trying not to choke as Ben moaned loudly against you, his hips jerking up immediately to fuck deeper into your mouth now that you had given him access.

But you couldn’t hold it back. And it seemed like neither could he, because both of you were getting loud and moaning obnoxiously, your hips jerking and grinding against each other’s mouths in messy coherence. 

His lips circled your clit and sucked at the bud, practically making out with the bundle of nerves.

That was all you could stand.

You hit his hip, planting both hands onto each of his hips as you clamped your eyes shut, pushed your head down as far as you could, and took it, letting him fuck your face fully. Ben seemed to get the message, because he let go of your hips and grabbed your thighs instead, holding you open so you could grind your cunt against his face as hard as you wanted.

You both came at the same time.

Your orgasm hit like a firework, crackling through you as you moaned loudly around his cock, your thighs shaking violently over his shoulders. Ben groaned deeply into your cunt, the sound muffled and wet as he spilled into your mouth, thick ropes of cum coating your tongue. You swallowed what you could, the rest leaking from the corners of your lips as you sucked him through it, your hips still grinding weakly against his face while his tongue worked you through the aftershocks.

You popped off his cock, panting as you tried to steady your body. You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, and with the last bit of strength you had, you rolled off him and collapsed onto the grass beside him.

Ben blinked deliriously up at the sky, his chest rising and falling quickly as he caught his breath. He wiped his own mouth with the back of his hand, then glanced over at you. His red eyes flicked down at himself for a second, then back up to the stars.

“Nice.”

You cracked a smile, feeling far more relaxed than you had all night. The night had turned syrupy and warm around you, your high still humming pleasantly through your veins.

Ben reached his arm out, tugging at yours until you slid up next to him. You laid your head on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around you comfortably. 

“Don’t get all sentimental now,” you teased.

He smiled, “Eat my ass.”

You hummed, tracing your finger lazily across his abdomen. “I get it now. Why people like being high so much. It makes everything feel so… unreal.”

Ben nodded. “You’re gonna really think that when I fuck you after I get you geeked.”

You rolled your eyes, swatting at his chest. “Chill. I’m easy.”

Ben laughed at you. “Clearly.”

You swatted him again, a little harder than the last. He sat up after a moment, reaching for his discarded jeans near him and digging into the pocket. You sat up too, curious to watch as he pulled out a preroll and his lighter.

He grinned at you, holding the joint out. “We could try right now.”

You eyed him for a second, then nodded.

Ben placed the filter between your lips when you leaned in. He flicked the lighter and held the flame to the end. You inhaled slowly a couple of times to get it started before you got a good hit, holding it in your lungs for a moment before exhaling. But before the smoke could fully leave your mouth, Ben leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours, inhaling the smoke you blew out.

The taste of weed and him mixed together on your tongue. He pulled back just enough to exhale the smoke between you, red eyes half-lidded and looking at your lips.

“First one to cum has to wash the other’s clothes when we get back.”

“Deal.”

Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are appreciated!

๑ prologue

๑ back to my masterlists