emily

my life is going to literally shit lol please God just end me already i failed i admit it 😂

fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK why is this my life

if i get fired im attempting again and it better work

whenever i do something wrong he just yells at me i didn’t ask someone if they wanted something to drink by accident the day after my grandma died and i still went to work i told him and his wife and his wife was so nice to me and he didn’t even respond he just gave me a hug the next day and slid his hands on my waist and my butt then forgot about my grandma and started nitpicking me

crying to my best friend in my car when i’m supposed to be in church is a new low

i’m the worst person ever

i have so many undiagnosed medical issues but i can’t get it diagnosed because i have the worst fear of doctors/hospitals/needles like i defo have endo but i can’t get any type of exam bc of trauma and birth control has so many side effects

i wish i stayed the way i was when i first got saved

i feel guilty to even be at church

i need to feel pain in some way

i should try to purge again