𝒸𝒽𝑒𝒸𝓀𝓂𝒶𝓉𝑒;

"Why are there a pair of pants in the middle of the living room floor?"

"Is that mud? I hope that's mud."

"Watch your language."

"Why is the dog wearing a tutu?"

"What happened to our baby?"

"Let's not attack mommy with a fork."

"Do you just want to run around naked like the animals?"

"You need to get up off the floor."

"Santa doesn't fly near planes. If he did he would crash into one and he'd die."

"My back is hurty."

"Don't do anything bad here, okay?"

"Just pretend you're riding a horse."

"How did you get into my Amazon app?... Did you just buy something?"

"Princess isn't a job, sweetie."

"I was mean because I wouldn't let them lick the wall socket."

"Do you think it's a good idea to take our child on a wine tour?"

"Stop making a scene!"

"You know... people are gross."

"I am not your personal hand warmer."

"I wish I could remember what sex was like."

"Do you know where the kids are?"

"Stop licking the dog, honey."

"Daddy doesn't care unless you're bleeding, on fire or getting him a beer."

"What's that smell?"

"No, no that's not for eating!"

"I don't remember what sleep was like. What's it like?"

"Is my shirt inside out?"

"You can be anything you want. Within reason."

"Physics don't work that way."

"No eye poking."

no cursed ike the next time

         ❝ Odd... Who could of left this... ❞