i'll play the fool

Being sweet doing it pea style #sweetiepea 🫛

Unfortunately I do only care about Shane and Ilya in my Shane and Ilya show

also (still talking about something that no one else cares about) it’s so beautiful and meaningful to me that ilya is the one who most longs for and pushes for queer solidarity. like he is the one who tells ryan price that his and shane’s camps are focused on teaching tolerance, he is the one who shows up to scott’s gay bar night, and he is the one who gets the centaurs to wear pride tape for troy during the whole pride game (instead of just for the mandated warm-up). and he longs so badly to come out to his team bc he wants them to know this side of him. like he is so explicitly a queer man who wants to be seen for that part of his identity and he is willing to go to bat for everyone else. which makes sense to me from a russia pov bc he really knows the political context of everything. and he wants that community so bad!! bad enough to always show up in support which is such a beautiful part of his story to me

as a lifelong fat like i get it. but im also like.....you guys always knew right? like they weren't gonna. also lowkey i think it would be kind of traumatic for a fat person to be in this show where everybody is ripped and naked and fucking like. think about how people would've written about them. the comments alone......like it's gonna be okay i think

harris to ryan price: so i have this movie i think you should watch. about a tv that glows

I would watch Justice Smith read out the instructions on how to fold a pizza box at a minimum wage job. So I’m not mad at all about the casting but I am grieving fat Harris in my mind palace. I contain multitudes

#AnnounceWyattHayes

if you ever saw me say some weird shit i was high or confused or scared or i meant it

goodbye $200 helloooo 3 groceries

i think it was kind of a major failing to frame the self diagnosis issue around whether it's "valid" or not rather than the fact that unless an official diagnosis is necessary for you to access actually beneficial pharmaceuticals, accomodations or disability benefits, you should actively avoid on-paper diagnosis for your basic safety and access to care

and again. if we subscribe to the idea that shane is experiencing a literal dissociative break post-outing then i think it makes sense that sexual intimacy could be grounding for him because it’s something physically rewarding that he knows he’s good at. like to clarify — it is safe and consensual, but the shane who keeps getting stuck in compulsive rituals and excessively suppresses his own feelings and is very much in a fake-it-till-u-make-it headspace would probably find safety in knowing that he can, definitively, help ilya and make them both feel good. his body has already betrayed him on the worlds biggest stage, this is an opportunity for redemption. even if it’s just the two of them. which then could contribute to a very interesting situation when ilya identifies that both he and shane are reliant on sex over communication when shane is struggling. like maybe ilya’s understanding of sex — coming from someone who viewed his body as his only point of worth — may have also contributed to this. idk man like literally anything other than what we got

actually. thinking about this as shane struggling to adjust after the trip — after his body betrays him, as such — but now he can’t rely on the diet because it was a fucking joke and everyone likes it better when he eats cake so. the ritualistic behaviours escalate. they can’t be obtrusive because if they’re obtrusive it’s another thing he has to fix vs. something that’s doing the fixing. so he lies in bed with ilya’s arm over his chest and thinks about how he didn’t stack the plates right after dinner. and if he didn’t stack the plates right after dinner then when ilya gets up tomorrow he could open the cabinet and the plates could fall out and break. the plates fall and then he’s hurt somehow. or cut. so he has to take time to find a bandage, which means he’s late, which means he’s rushing, which means he’s distracted and misses a turn on the road and gets hit. gets hit or rear-ended or swerves or what the fuck ever and shane loses him, again. all because shane couldn’t be bothered checking to make sure the fucking plates were stacked right in the cupboard. so he gets up — shhh ilya ill be back in a minute — and goes downstairs and opens the cupboard and none of the plates fall this time but he can’t be sure so he restacks them and closes the cupboard but he can’t be sure that time either. so he’s stuck there in the dark silently stacking plates like an idiot while ilya sleeps upstairs and he physically can’t stop because what if the one time he stops it goes wrong. and and and

nothings about to happen to me mitski is the shane album of all time. down to the album art like shane is the cat on the cover and the cat lunging behind it is all of his fears coming to life in the long game🚬