Darling I'm A Nightmare Dressed Like A Daydream.

Tripping mother fucking billies!

Nice to meet you! ...It really wasn't, at all.

"Are you having fun?" "I'm having bourbon."

If you don't have anything nice to say just, you know, lie.

Goodbye, Reuben. I hope they have free express shipping in heaven.

Hello, welcome to Everlasting! The whole show's a lie. Shhhhh, don't tell anybody.

I was worried I was never going to have children, because I have this very serious medical condition where I only date assholes.

You know what my favorite time of day is? Taking my ambien.

Liar, liar, ho on fire.

I reject your whole premise. That's all people do, try to change. The real me is an asshole with no filter, believe me, I've tried. But then I realized the brave thing is to be you and accept the consequences.

"I thought you were in a pysch ward?" "I was, but thanks to 14 pills I took this morning, I am perfectly sane. Yup, I can't feel a thing."

You know what parents teach us about emotions, right: To never speak about them, and to bottle them up, and turn them into maps possibly?

What is sex? And who is Ed?

Andy Cohen:"What's the secret to a happy marriage?" Connie Chung:"Never do anything together."

Producer: "Would you be sad if SUR burned down?" Jax: "No."

Sometimes in life you see yourself really clearly, and everything is really simple. And you think, "Fuck. This. Shit."

This is a love story...with a body count.