i'm just second hand news

every day i pick a pie, i concentrate all my love on that pie because if i love it, someone else is gonna love it. 

why begin with a negative? like saying, ‘i don’t disagree.’ just say you agree.

can you lock the door behind you?

she’s been upset since last year’s christmas party.

he’s a very needy dog.

when was the last time someone touched you with affection?

a lot going on with that dead girl.

haven’t thought of her since i was 10

don’t remember anything when i was 10.

i had the strangest dream. i was being strangled with a plastic sack.

you were my first kiss.

if you don’t wanna kiss me, it’s okay.

your eye is twitching. 

i’ve lost my train of thought.

i always wondered if you’d come back. 

i’m gonna sleep here, you take the bed. 

i’d kiss you if it wouldn’t kill me.

i don’t think justice was on the menu, not as an entrée.

i’ll be mad at you if you lie to me.

doesn’t she look like that dead girl?

she looks exactly like that dead girl.

how about we solve my murder and collect the reward? wouldn’t that be poetic?

she’s supposed to be dead. 

you’re supposed to be dead.

are you in love? because it’s that level of stupid.

he was a very, very bad man. he stole stuff off dead people and sold it on the internet.

are you a drug mule?

you can have your pie, but you can’t eat it.

i wish i could give you an emotional heimlich so you could cough up that wad of fear and anxiety, but i can’t.

i lived next door twenty years ago.

cheese? i would recommend the pure goat with blue ash. it has a grassy flavor.

didn’t i kill you?

i can hold my breath for a long time.

do you believe in reincarnation?