Exponentially Gay

Here’s to that time back in November 2025 when I was walking to my car in the parking garage and interrupted some 20-something guys rimming in the stairwell leaning against the landing railing.

One crazy story from my old closeted days is that I was hanging out with some girlfriends and their boyfriends out at a bar. I wasn’t a huge drinker but when I did I tended to go overboard, and this was one of those times. I remember the girls and guys split up, then kind of gets hazy and into blackout territory (which was very rare for me). Fast forward to the morning and I wake up in bed next to the bf of one of my friends. Both of us in T-shirts and boxers. But I can feel it in my ass that I got absolutely plowed the night before but I have no memory of it. The realization that I’m a home wrecker just adds to the horrible hangover. I just lay there. Dude wakes up a little bit later and like pops out of bed sober as if he wasn’t drinking all night. (Maybe he wasn’t) he starts going on about how fucked up i was and he let me stay over l, no mention at all of him fucking my brains out.

One time back when I was still “bi curious” and basically out to just one female friend, we were out grabbing day drinks on a sunny fall Saturday afternoon and I was telling her that I wasn’t gay, I was just having sex with men all the time because I really liked it. Her response: “that’s actually a pretty gay reason” lol lol. She wasn’t wrong.