Straif Laboratories

I'm currently working on refactoring the breeding cards to be easier to update, so if nothing else in the future i'll be able to put new genes in faster instead of the snowballing tech-debt nonsense going on now. The current system is an "easy to update one or two genes but doesn't scale well" kind of thing which is not great for new ancients, nvm any kind of backlog. New system is gonna be simple enough i can add a dozen genes as easily as one, but i gotta finish actually coding it first.

pov you buy something from joxar, start to leave, and then "oh wait i didn't grab this month's spare inventory chest yet" and when you turn back he's in a totally different outfit and y'all just have to be like "…are there……… two of you or did you change *that* quickly"

"Uuhhh *kicks light switch under the counter; several bulbs of varying colors flick off while several of other colors flick on* Ma'am i acknowledge my handsome employee and i do bear a striking resemblance to each other but i assure you, we are actually subtly different colors. Hard to tell when we're not next to each other but coincidentally he just went on break. Anyway you were saying something about your infant playing with a product clearly labeled as being for ages six and up?"

It’ll go a lot faster, though, if I could get some help! I made a little google form to collect data. Its very simple, just name the items she asks for and at what price. If anyone has some free time would you mind maybe filling it out? I’ll link in the reblogs

(my strategy is just straight-up giving her anything she asks for at 500t except runestones, which is almost definitely not the most financially profitable method but is a decent too-lazy-to-check-prices method)

a) "oh! it's one of Us!" "it absolutely is not" b) "smells like wyrmwound -> wyrmwound makes us stronger -> imma fight it." "it smells like death because it's four dead dragons in a trenchcoat and you will also be dead if you fight it." c) generally taking great personal offence because we are ANCIENT and thus have the patent on multi-headed fusing abomination, thank you??? d) generally taking great personal interest because oh, fascinating, we didn't realize lightmomma's children also had soup. "they don't, imperials just kinda go literal five-headed zombie if enough of them die close together." "wat."

(Tippling hod-carrier Timperial Finnegan rises from the bed » the gathered mourners lose their collective shit and Shillelagh law is interpreted as beating him into the grave they all thought he was going to anyway. "D'anam ón diabhal, d'ye think I'm dead????" has a very different vibe in Imperial versions of Finnegan's Wake: "Yes, we did, and now we're going to make sure you stay that way.")

I just used the name of the location in the game! English isn't my native language but as far as I can tell it's correct

and i was so overwhelmed by the idea of a bunch of Imperial mourners saying "haha no you don't????" that for a second there i lived in a world where official FR placenames don't exist.

a) "oh! it's one of Us!" "it absolutely is not" b) "smells like wyrmwound -> wyrmwound makes us stronger -> imma fight it." "it smells like death because it's four dead dragons in a trenchcoat and you will also be dead if you fight it." c) generally taking great personal offence because we are ANCIENT and thus have the patent on multi-headed fusing abomination, thank you??? d) generally taking great personal interest because oh, fascinating, we didn't realize lightmomma's children also had soup. "they don't, imperials just kinda go literal five-headed zombie if enough of them die close together." "wat."

(Tippling hod-carrier Timperial Finnegan rises from the bed » the gathered mourners lose their collective shit and Shillelagh law is interpreted as beating him into the grave they all thought he was going to anyway. "D'anam ón diabhal, d'ye think I'm dead????" has a very different vibe in Imperial versions of Finnegan's Wake: "Yes, we did, and now we're going to make sure you stay that way.")

…but also, if there's any kind of magic raising Imperial bodies (as opposed to "Emperors only happen if the bodies basically get dumped on top of each other") they absolutely have wakes and Timperial Finnegan is just gonna be a permanent headcanon for me now

a) "oh! it's one of Us!" "it absolutely is not" b) "smells like wyrmwound -> wyrmwound makes us stronger -> imma fight it." "it smells like death because it's four dead dragons in a trenchcoat and you will also be dead if you fight it." c) generally taking great personal offence because we are ANCIENT and thus have the patent on multi-headed fusing abomination, thank you??? d) generally taking great personal interest because oh, fascinating, we didn't realize lightmomma's children also had soup. "they don't, imperials just kinda go literal five-headed zombie if enough of them die close together." "wat."

(Tippling hod-carrier Timperial Finnegan rises from the bed » the gathered mourners lose their collective shit and Shillelagh law is interpreted as beating him into the grave they all thought he was going to anyway. "D'anam ón diabhal, d'ye think I'm dead????" has a very different vibe in Imperial versions of Finnegan's Wake: "Yes, we did, and now we're going to make sure you stay that way.")