& they were roommates

i told you what was wrong and you didn’t reply, i also told you what you could do and you probably won’t do it

i miss you and i tell you that and you say you miss me too, i put in effort to come see you and you love that, i try to talk to you and sometimes you answer

let’s see how long we can go without touching, why don’t you sing me to sleep?

​do me a favor and never stop loving me the way i did for you

“i love you. there has never been a moment that i have known you where i stopped loving you. even when we broke up i still loved you.” things i say to you, i do mean it but god it’s feels like a curse to me sometimes.

i wish you’d come over and hold me the way you did the other night while we watched project hail mary, you wrapped your arm around me and ran your nails over my shoulder, pulling me closer to you when i wasn’t close enough. you kissed me a lot and listened when i talked. when you went on your drive that night i laid in your bed wearing your tshirt so hopefully i’d still be close to you. i wish you’d come over and pull me out of the room away from everyone else, walk me outside and place a cigarette between my lips while lighting it for me and telling me to tell you about ‘it’, whatever it may be. i wish you’d kiss me the way you did after we had sex again that one night. you were so sweet and you held me like you never wanted to let go, i was nearly on your lap with my arms wrapped around your neck and i almost gave up and stayed in bed so we could keep kissing. you did let go and i was okay, but i wish i could see you when i’m not. i wish i could call you and get an answer, i wish i could call you and you’d come over. i just wish you’d come over and love me like you’re supposed to when i feel like i could need someone next to me. you could be that person too, did you know that? if you don’t want to be, you should just tell me so i stop hoping you’ll learn to.

i feel like the ashtray at our girlfriend’s house. you put out your cigarette right next to it instead of in it even though it’s available to you. it’s right there, it’s empty half the time and waiting to be filled. i don’t mind the burn or the sting, i just want to be useful to you, and yours. i could be good for you if you’d let me try.

laying on your chest with your arm around me & listening to your heartbeat i wish it was always like this

there’s more i need to say to you but half the time i can’t find the right words to say it. i should write it out for you.