[a woman stands behind the register, looking at you (or maybe behind you?) in abject boredom. She appears to be chained to something under the counter.]
Welcome to Tabby's, can I take your order?
Today's Document
Claire Keane

@theartofmadeline
trying on a metaphor
Show & Tell
untitled

Discoholic đȘ©
occasionally subtle
Mike Driver

#extradirty
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Noah Kahan
Sade Olutola
ojovivo

romaâ

PR's Tumblrdome
Aqua Utopiaïœæ”·ăźćșă§èšæ¶ă玥ă
KIROKAZE
$LAYYYTER
NASA

seen from Saudi Arabia

seen from Poland

seen from United States
seen from Germany

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Malaysia

seen from Indonesia

seen from Germany

seen from Germany

seen from Colombia
seen from Thailand

seen from Poland

seen from Germany
seen from France
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seen from Philippines
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seen from United States
seen from United States
@stp-minimum-wage-prisoner
[a woman stands behind the register, looking at you (or maybe behind you?) in abject boredom. She appears to be chained to something under the counter.]
Welcome to Tabby's, can I take your order?

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
is this you
how did you get this photo of me
[Chicken-shaped dinosaur nuggets!!]
We don't stock those anymore, dinosaur meat got too expensive.
Damsel is winded before she even makes it halfway down the hall.
Prisoner! :D *cough*
Have you been really busy or somethingâ? I miss you :(
@minimum-wage-damsel-stp
Oh, Damsel, hey. No, not busy. I've been, um... stuck here, actually.
[she gestures to the concrete in the tracks]
Oh!
She coughs a few times, staring blankly down at the concrete.
How did... how did that get there?
It, um... I had an argument with someone, it's not important. Are- how are your lungs?
Aha... they're fine! *cough* Probably!
She smiles.
It'll have to get better eventually. Everything does! :D *cough*
She's out of breath.
Yeah, I guess. My hands got better, speaking of which. It took a couple... deaths, but they're fine now. Do you wanna... sit down, or something?
Deaths?
She suddenly looks concerned, perhaps entirely afraid.
What do you mean, deaths? It took deaths? You diedâ?
Her outburst sends her into a fit of coughing.
Yeah it- shit.
[she puts her hand on Damsel's back, ineffectually trying to help]
Yeah, y'know how it goes. Shit happens.
There are a long few moments of coughing before she's able to speak again.
H-how did you, um... how did you... well... die?
Mm... let me see, the first time was was to Witch, back a couple months ago, then a while later I died to Army, then just recently I died to Witch-
[She stops, realizing she's said more than she meant to]
Wait, who'sâ
Army. Where has she heard that before?
Hurting people. And killed Prisonerâ?
She shakes her head. Those are just voices.
She's tense.
Aha... she- she killed you?
*cough*
Yeah, um... yeah. She does that, sometimes. It's- it isn't a big deal, really.
Not a big dealâ?
Another bout of coughing, more violent than the first, interrupts her.
She takes a step away from Prisoner.
How can you say that...? Youâ you died.
[Prisoner is helping her.]
No. Shake it off. She wouldn't.
I mean, I came back, I knew I would come back when it happened. She knew I would come back when she did it. It's not like she wanted me dead dead.
But she still killed yâ!
The coughing can't be suppressed anymore. She doubles over, just barely out of reach.
It's- I mean, it only lasted a bit, it really doesn't bother me now. And- like I said, it... healed the nerves in my hands, or something.
[She shifts uncomfortably as she waits for Damsel to get up]
But Damsel does not get up.
She stays on her hands and knees on the floor, gasping desperately for breath and finding none. Her arms are shaking.
She doesn't stop coughing.
Oh, fuck, are- hold on, I'll...
I can't reach the first-aid kit right now.
Hey, is... anyone there? Can- We need help.
Damsel is winded before she even makes it halfway down the hall.
Prisoner! :D *cough*
Have you been really busy or somethingâ? I miss you :(
@minimum-wage-damsel-stp
Oh, Damsel, hey. No, not busy. I've been, um... stuck here, actually.
[she gestures to the concrete in the tracks]
Oh!
She coughs a few times, staring blankly down at the concrete.
How did... how did that get there?
It, um... I had an argument with someone, it's not important. Are- how are your lungs?
Aha... they're fine! *cough* Probably!
She smiles.
It'll have to get better eventually. Everything does! :D *cough*
She's out of breath.
Yeah, I guess. My hands got better, speaking of which. It took a couple... deaths, but they're fine now. Do you wanna... sit down, or something?
Deaths?
She suddenly looks concerned, perhaps entirely afraid.
What do you mean, deaths? It took deaths? You diedâ?
Her outburst sends her into a fit of coughing.
Yeah it- shit.
[she puts her hand on Damsel's back, ineffectually trying to help]
Yeah, y'know how it goes. Shit happens.
There are a long few moments of coughing before she's able to speak again.
H-how did you, um... how did you... well... die?
Mm... let me see, the first time was was to Witch, back a couple months ago, then a while later I died to Army, then just recently I died to Witch-
[She stops, realizing she's said more than she meant to]
Wait, who'sâ
Army. Where has she heard that before?
Hurting people. And killed Prisonerâ?
She shakes her head. Those are just voices.
She's tense.
Aha... she- she killed you?
*cough*
Yeah, um... yeah. She does that, sometimes. It's- it isn't a big deal, really.
Not a big dealâ?
Another bout of coughing, more violent than the first, interrupts her.
She takes a step away from Prisoner.
How can you say that...? Youâ you died.
[Prisoner is helping her.]
No. Shake it off. She wouldn't.
I mean, I came back, I knew I would come back when it happened. She knew I would come back when she did it. It's not like she wanted me dead dead.
But she still killed yâ!
The coughing can't be suppressed anymore. She doubles over, just barely out of reach.
It's- I mean, it only lasted a bit, it really doesn't bother me now. And- like I said, it... healed the nerves in my hands, or something.
[She shifts uncomfortably as she waits for Damsel to get up]

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
Damsel is winded before she even makes it halfway down the hall.
Prisoner! :D *cough*
Have you been really busy or somethingâ? I miss you :(
@minimum-wage-damsel-stp
Oh, Damsel, hey. No, not busy. I've been, um... stuck here, actually.
[she gestures to the concrete in the tracks]
Oh!
She coughs a few times, staring blankly down at the concrete.
How did... how did that get there?
It, um... I had an argument with someone, it's not important. Are- how are your lungs?
Aha... they're fine! *cough* Probably!
She smiles.
It'll have to get better eventually. Everything does! :D *cough*
She's out of breath.
Yeah, I guess. My hands got better, speaking of which. It took a couple... deaths, but they're fine now. Do you wanna... sit down, or something?
Deaths?
She suddenly looks concerned, perhaps entirely afraid.
What do you mean, deaths? It took deaths? You diedâ?
Her outburst sends her into a fit of coughing.
Yeah it- shit.
[she puts her hand on Damsel's back, ineffectually trying to help]
Yeah, y'know how it goes. Shit happens.
There are a long few moments of coughing before she's able to speak again.
H-how did you, um... how did you... well... die?
Mm... let me see, the first time was was to Witch, back a couple months ago, then a while later I died to Army, then just recently I died to Witch-
[She stops, realizing she's said more than she meant to]
Wait, who'sâ
Army. Where has she heard that before?
Hurting people. And killed Prisonerâ?
She shakes her head. Those are just voices.
She's tense.
Aha... she- she killed you?
*cough*
Yeah, um... yeah. She does that, sometimes. It's- it isn't a big deal, really.
Not a big dealâ?
Another bout of coughing, more violent than the first, interrupts her.
She takes a step away from Prisoner.
How can you say that...? Youâ you died.
[Prisoner is helping her.]
No. Shake it off. She wouldn't.
I mean, I came back, I knew I would come back when it happened. She knew I would come back when she did it. It's not like she wanted me dead dead.
Damsel is winded before she even makes it halfway down the hall.
Prisoner! :D *cough*
Have you been really busy or somethingâ? I miss you :(
@minimum-wage-damsel-stp
Oh, Damsel, hey. No, not busy. I've been, um... stuck here, actually.
[she gestures to the concrete in the tracks]
Oh!
She coughs a few times, staring blankly down at the concrete.
How did... how did that get there?
It, um... I had an argument with someone, it's not important. Are- how are your lungs?
Aha... they're fine! *cough* Probably!
She smiles.
It'll have to get better eventually. Everything does! :D *cough*
She's out of breath.
Yeah, I guess. My hands got better, speaking of which. It took a couple... deaths, but they're fine now. Do you wanna... sit down, or something?
Deaths?
She suddenly looks concerned, perhaps entirely afraid.
What do you mean, deaths? It took deaths? You diedâ?
Her outburst sends her into a fit of coughing.
Yeah it- shit.
[she puts her hand on Damsel's back, ineffectually trying to help]
Yeah, y'know how it goes. Shit happens.
There are a long few moments of coughing before she's able to speak again.
H-how did you, um... how did you... well... die?
Mm... let me see, the first time was was to Witch, back a couple months ago, then a while later I died to Army, then just recently I died to Witch-
[She stops, realizing she's said more than she meant to]
Wait, who'sâ
Army. Where has she heard that before?
Hurting people. And killed Prisonerâ?
She shakes her head. Those are just voices.
She's tense.
Aha... she- she killed you?
*cough*
Yeah, um... yeah. She does that, sometimes. It's- it isn't a big deal, really.
Damsel is winded before she even makes it halfway down the hall.
Prisoner! :D *cough*
Have you been really busy or somethingâ? I miss you :(
@minimum-wage-damsel-stp
Oh, Damsel, hey. No, not busy. I've been, um... stuck here, actually.
[she gestures to the concrete in the tracks]
Oh!
She coughs a few times, staring blankly down at the concrete.
How did... how did that get there?
It, um... I had an argument with someone, it's not important. Are- how are your lungs?
Aha... they're fine! *cough* Probably!
She smiles.
It'll have to get better eventually. Everything does! :D *cough*
She's out of breath.
Yeah, I guess. My hands got better, speaking of which. It took a couple... deaths, but they're fine now. Do you wanna... sit down, or something?
Deaths?
She suddenly looks concerned, perhaps entirely afraid.
What do you mean, deaths? It took deaths? You diedâ?
Her outburst sends her into a fit of coughing.
Yeah it- shit.
[she puts her hand on Damsel's back, ineffectually trying to help]
Yeah, y'know how it goes. Shit happens.
There are a long few moments of coughing before she's able to speak again.
H-how did you, um... how did you... well... die?
Mm... let me see, the first time was was to Witch, back a couple months ago, then a while later I died to Army, then just recently I died to Witch-
[She stops, realizing she's said more than she meant to]
Damsel is winded before she even makes it halfway down the hall.
Prisoner! :D *cough*
Have you been really busy or somethingâ? I miss you :(
@minimum-wage-damsel-stp
Oh, Damsel, hey. No, not busy. I've been, um... stuck here, actually.
[she gestures to the concrete in the tracks]
Oh!
She coughs a few times, staring blankly down at the concrete.
How did... how did that get there?
It, um... I had an argument with someone, it's not important. Are- how are your lungs?
Aha... they're fine! *cough* Probably!
She smiles.
It'll have to get better eventually. Everything does! :D *cough*
She's out of breath.
Yeah, I guess. My hands got better, speaking of which. It took a couple... deaths, but they're fine now. Do you wanna... sit down, or something?
Deaths?
She suddenly looks concerned, perhaps entirely afraid.
What do you mean, deaths? It took deaths? You diedâ?
Her outburst sends her into a fit of coughing.
Yeah it- shit.
[she puts her hand on Damsel's back, ineffectually trying to help]
Yeah, y'know how it goes. Shit happens.
Damsel is winded before she even makes it halfway down the hall.
Prisoner! :D *cough*
Have you been really busy or somethingâ? I miss you :(
@minimum-wage-damsel-stp
Oh, Damsel, hey. No, not busy. I've been, um... stuck here, actually.
[she gestures to the concrete in the tracks]
Oh!
She coughs a few times, staring blankly down at the concrete.
How did... how did that get there?
It, um... I had an argument with someone, it's not important. Are- how are your lungs?
Aha... they're fine! *cough* Probably!
She smiles.
It'll have to get better eventually. Everything does! :D *cough*
She's out of breath.
Yeah, I guess. My hands got better, speaking of which. It took a couple... deaths, but they're fine now. Do you wanna... sit down, or something?

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
Damsel is winded before she even makes it halfway down the hall.
Prisoner! :D *cough*
Have you been really busy or somethingâ? I miss you :(
@minimum-wage-damsel-stp
Oh, Damsel, hey. No, not busy. I've been, um... stuck here, actually.
[she gestures to the concrete in the tracks]
Oh!
She coughs a few times, staring blankly down at the concrete.
How did... how did that get there?
It, um... I had an argument with someone, it's not important. Are- how are your lungs?
Damsel is winded before she even makes it halfway down the hall.
Prisoner! :D *cough*
Have you been really busy or somethingâ? I miss you :(
@minimum-wage-damsel-stp
Oh, Damsel, hey. No, not busy. I've been, um... stuck here, actually.
[she gestures to the concrete in the tracks]
The intercom turns haywire for a moment before settling on a bad connection of a song, the singer clearly stating out:
âYou can check out any time you like, but you can never leave!â
Once the words are over the connection crackled out, and the restaurant falls back into silence
...did one of the customers get into the manager's office?
Kinda fucked that the other you got free while you didn't
Sure is.
Itâs late, long after most have left the building.
Perhaps Prisoner is asleep. Perhaps her mind has left her body as she stares into space. Perhaps she is fully aware and focused for each agonizing, agonizing moment of the same walls and the same door and the same tables.
Regardless of what she currently is, a small, tinny noise breaks through the silence.
Metal chipping against stone.
@stp-mw-razorcuts
...mn? Is- is someone there?
Where the track leads into the building proper, the chipping stops, as if startled.
â...â
Hello...?
[She sounds... scared, much more than she would usually allow into her voice. She was caught off-guard, perhaps.]
â. . .â
(If I donât move, she might not realize Iâm here.)
âThere is no one here!â
(crud dangit dagnabbit fudgemuffins doing a backflip into a pile of ashes)
oh- Army?
âNnnnno. No!â
âActuallyââ who is that? Who are you talking to??â
For some reason, Army really does not wish for Prisoner to turn around, despiteââ everything obvious.
What? It- I'm talking to you?
[she turns around]
Army is hunched over the track, blades out. She looks at Pris as if she caught her escaping prison, which is ironic as she wasnât caught last time.
âdangitâ
[she crouches down next to her]
Watcha doin?
âUmââ Iâmââ I justââ I noticedââ you knowââ Iâm uhhhââ nothing much, justâââ
This continues. Armyâs eyes flit from Prisonerâs, to her blades, to the chain, to a random spot on the wall, and back again, repeatedly. Thereâs a noticeable spot of the stones and cement thatâs been carved away at slowly, slowly.
Were you... oh. I- are your blades alright?
Her stammering abruptly jumbles at the interruption, before she shakes her head. âNah, itâs just stone. Theyâre peachy.â
Oh, good. How, um... how've you been? It feels like it's been a while.
âYeah, it...â Army looks downcast, âIt has.â
She swallows. She does not answer the question.
[she tenses a bit, and shuffles closer.]
...hey?
Army takes a moment to acknowledge Prisoner, before suddenly launching into a hug. It hurts, like all of her best.
She gasps, half syllables struggling to squeeze between each breath. A broken torrent of âIâm sorryâs.
Her eyes burn.
wh- huh? I- are- sorry? For- for what?
Words fail, so Army vaguely gestures in the trackâs direction with her foot.
...? The... track? It- oh.
[she hugs back, the blades sliding further through her flesh as she does so]
It wasn't- don't- please don't feel like it was your fault. It- first of all, it's Witch's fault, and it stops there. Then, if anything, if I had handled the situation better, it wouldn't have come to this.
Armyâs gasps and sobs continue, but her stammering slows.
She buries her face in Prisonerâs shoulder.
[She puts one hand on the back of Army's head, pulling her in closer]
Hey, It's... it's alright. I'm alright.
Itâs a sight few have seen, Army being a sobbing mess. Very few things bring her to such hysterics. To lock Witch in a cycle of death. To lock herself in a prison of anguish.
Thankfully she has someone to carry her out, to hold her close, to tell her everything will be okay.
...
She still wishes she could do the same.
But for now, just for now, theyâre together, and thatâs enough for her.
Until the next.
...
The sudden, piercing agony of a beartrap snapping shut, before Army pulls away, her eyes and lips different shades of crimson.
Still, she smiles.
[She flinches as Army's teeth sink in, her head snapping upward]
That... surprised me.
[she's smiling, just a little.]
Army giggles, sharkteeth on full display. âJust a nibble.â
âUhh, what was that before again?? Right, um... Iâve mostly been, uh, trying to avoid thinking about... all this. I had a great time out there, but whenever I thought about it, any of it, or you, it just... like cause I thought you hated me for messing up which is stupid cuzâ youâre so nice and...â Army trails off.
It's, um... don't worry about it, I'm not mad. At you, anyway.
âOkay... okay.â That alone seems to have calmed her down, a bit. âSorry for... avoiding you, then.â
It's- it's alright. You're here now.
[she pulls herself to her feet]
âYeah, Iââ I am, huh?â Army does not rise with her.
âBut youâre still...â chip chip, âyouâre still...â chip chip chip.
â...Can we do it together???â
Oh. Um- yeah.
[She gets back on her knees and pulls out a chisel]
I got this from... it's a long story.
âWell, Iâm not complaininâ. Beats a kitchen knife.â
Army moves closer to Prisoner than is practical. Still, thereâs remarkable room between where sheâs chipping and where the stone ends.
âSo, howâve... howâve things been...? With you? Here?â
I've... I've been alright. 's been annoying not being able to leave the counter, but other than that it's been about the same as always.
âYeah I... I guess it would be, wouldnât it...? Just. Less room. Thatâs it...â
...
âDoes itââ bother you? When.. . peopleâââ she emphasizes a normal amount, âââmention things theyâve done outside...?â
Um... not usually. Not anymore, anyway, I think it used to bother me more. I've... gotten used to it, I guess.
âWell, uh... I havenât told you about the time when...!!â
Army begins animatedly describing the events with Harsh, Connie, and Sol in the alley as she works away. How she chased Connie over the rooftops only for them to disappear through a window, and how she went back to cut Harshâs arms open only to discover their weird bug anatomy.
She does this all with a smile that goes from uneasy to viciously nostalgic.
[she listens wordlessly as Army talks, her expression broadly neutral, if more present than she usually is]
Itâs turned into Army just informing about all the murders sheâs done in general. The fast, the slow, teasing, the passionate, she even touches on the events with Adversary that - despite circumstances - she looks back fondly on.
âThe idea was like , she canât die, right??? I cut her heart to pieces and she was still alive. And I was dying from that thing earlier, so likeââ I thought, âwhat if, as I die, I was inside her with all my knife bones.â Would she just be stuck like that or whatââ whatâsâappen?? Havenât seen her since which is sad, Iâd really like to try that again when Iâm not dying. Hey, have you ever murdered anyone???â
Have I... I think it was manslaughter rather than murder, technically.
Army tilts her head curiously.
It was... the bird, what's his name? Quiet, or something. He- you know the one.
âOhh, Birdface. Yeah, I know him!! Think we all killed him at least once; did he come at you with a knife too???â
Well... sort of? He- he had the knife in his hand, then he like, froze, and got this weird look in his eyes. I don't know, it was weird.
Army nods as if she understands, âAnd then you either noticed your own or didnât, and ââ yeah I get it.â
...'My own'?
âYeah!!! Yâknow, the knife that we had on us, back in the first time that was kinda hard to notice so sometimes he just gets you??â
I, um- I don't think I had a knife on me.
âYou didnât??â
She pauses her chipping, for a moment.
âNo no, you mustâve, you just... didnât notice, or... Wait what did you kill him with, then??â
He brought a knife, I used that.
âWow...â Armyâs eyes glimmer in admiration for an event that never happened. Fantasies of her girlfriend narrowly managing to snatch the knife away from Quiet and kill him with it flash through her mind.
Army realizes sheâs blushing and averts her eyes. âHAHA!!! Anyway...!!!â
...
I greatly dislike having my role stolen, butââ yes, she spots it, obscured by the shackle it may be. Itâs not careful, her examination, but it does not need to be.
âWoah, where did you get that??â
Huh- Oh, yeah, this. Some lady gave it to me, like a week-ish ago.
[She pulls out the necklace]
She said it was, like, a special key, or something? I- I'm not super sure, the whole thing was pretty confusing. She said not to give it to anyone, is why I had it hidden in the shackle.
âHuh! Weird. Too bad your... er,â Army falters, eyes falling to the shackle, âY-Yâknow. Just one hole and it already has somethinâ in it.â
Her smile comes back on, cheekily, âA very good thing!!â
[she smiles and turns away]
I, um... thanks. I- you- you're and- uh...
[she pauses]
I fucked that up, so much.
Army giggles and leans against Prisoner, âItâs fine, âs fiiiiiine, haha!!â
...
She continues working away in a comfortable silence.
[a few minutes pass]
Hey, I have a... a favor to ask, actually.
Army makes a noise that sounds like a question. A âwhat?â without letters.
When I get free-
[she puts extra emphasis on 'when']
-I want to leave the city. If not permanently, for a while. If it wouldn't be too much effort for you, I'd like you to figure out what the easiest way out of the city would be.
âYeah... yeah, I can do that!! I can do that, easy!!â
âI mean, my place is just a ways from here, but I canââ and even if not, I dunâ need evârythinâ. Theyâre just mementos.â
â...I-If you want me to come witâ you, anywho...!!â
Yeah! I'd- I'd be a little upset if you didn't want to come. We can, um... we can come back after a while, if you don't want to leave your stuff.
âI-I mean, thereâre only a few things Iâd really wanna take, itâs-itâs no big deal...â
âMaybe...â
âMaybe this whole âkiller barberâ thing was jusâ a phase, yâknow?? I donâtââ I donât need âmy placeâ to stay there...â
Oh, alright. Maybe we could get, like, a van or something, and put your stuff in there to transport it. Or we could live in the van, that's a thing people do, right?
âI think so!!! I think I live in whatâs meant to be a bathroom so it canât be that much harder!!â
âBuâ really, my stuff isnât that important, not if Iâm...â
Army jolts in realization.
âOh, wait, Razie!! And Ghostie!! I forgotââ I have a lotta friends here and Iunno how I feel abouâ leavinâ them... I think thereâs a way to still talk to âem??? Not the same, though.â
âAnd then thereâs Doll.â
We can... come back and visit.
...'Doll'?
Army perks up, despite already being âupâ.
âOh!! Did I not talk about âer??â
Army shifts to look Prisoner in the eyes. Seems this memory in particular is... special to her.
âThis is a long one, so buckle up.â
Oh, um, alright. I'm listening.
âWell, couple days ago - maybe a week or whatever - some lady came by my barbershop. Real fancy princess, all dress frills and makeup.â
âNow she jusâ stands there gaskinâ as Iâm cleaning up the place when I ask her if she wants a âcutâ - which could mean aaaaanything really, you never know - and after a bit aâ finagling the timid thing comes in and takes a seat.â
âI ask her what sheâd like, same as you, and she just lets me do whatever. And thatâs when I realized somethinâ funny.â
âWeâd actually met before, crossed paths in the basement here once a whiiile back. Gave her a nice slash across riiiiight across hereâââ Army traces the scarâs place with a finger, like a smile wider than lips could reach, âââbut it musta healed or something cause it was barely visible.â
âYou follow so far?? I know itâs slower than all the others, but itâsâ uh, itâsâââ
Rosy cheeks. She always sucked at hiding her intentions.
Sure, there are a couple of those around.
...
Yeah?
I mean, that would've been a while ago now, it makes sense that it'd have healed. And yeah, I think i'm following.
âAlright, alright, so I give âer just a lilâ trim, somethinâ neat thatâd look nice in bob or other, and sheâs just not talkinâ at all. I know some folks prefer not to talk with their barber, but sheâs not saying anything. Even when she talks âs just the bare minimum. Like she only spoke because I wanted her to.â
âShe sorta felt like a doll, yâknow? The sort that just sits there and looks pretty as they let you do whatever, so I thought âhey, why not give this doll a key to match?ââ
âI went into the back to carve up a lil key, saying Iâd grab a hair tie. âventually, I did come back to put her hair in a bunâââ
âââand then I poked a hole in the back of her neck...! The key fit perfectly.â
Army rummages through her apron, âActually, I think I still have it here!!â She holds out a tiny key shaped key of bone, caked in blood. Its edges are sharp and jagged.
Oh, huh. What, um... what did you carve it from?
âI have a lot of bones in my room, just lyinâ around.â
Oh. Yeah, that makes sense. She- could you describe her more? I'm trying to figure out if it's someone I know.
âOh!! Right, well like I said, Dollâs dress is all frills. Like, real fancy, plus she had like... eyeliner??? Eyeshadow?? Iunno enough, but it went down her eyes like this.â Army traces her lower eyelids. âShe tends to stare off into space a bit, but when she talks she goes on about all sortsâa stuff. Must be what she thinks about!!â
âOh yeah, and she had Birdfaceâs knife around her neck like a necklace.â
I see. The new girl? Or- maybe the health inspector, I think she also had a knife.
Armyâs face lights up. Her smile takes on a... strange edge.
âWell... she didnât say she worked here!! Didnât say a whole lot about herself, though, so!â
âAlright, where was I?? I poked hole in her neck for the key I made, and wouldnât you know it ââ she still didnât do much of anything!! Nothing to stop me, nothing to get away, nothing!!â
âEven as I twisted it into place, she just sat there. Looked into my eyes as I cut those old scars fresh, not a lick aâ fight to be seen.â
Army fidgets with the key as she talks. âNot that Iâm complaining, it was fun watching her brace herself as I snipped off finger after finger. Even though she didnât even try to get up, it was still so much fun!! I think she agreed, though she didnât admit it. But youâre the only one who does, so no surprise there.â
âWe had a nice chat as I did my thing about death, and how nothing really matters, and she asked me to kill her cuzâ she thought it might âstickâ for her.â
âI made her promise sheâd come back soon as she came back to life before I cut her spine, and she did. But I havenât seen her since so maybe she was right.â
âReal shame though, real shame. I still have Dollâs body in my room, but Iâd rather have the living thing.â
...huh. She- permanently? Alright. And it didn't seem like it bothered her?
âNope! She gave me biiiig smile before I killed her, so either sheâs crazy or she was fine with it.â
âIâm... honestly sad she dinât wind up coming back. Doubt sheâd get lost. Maybe she was lying âbout it, but I dunno. Really thought we had something, there.â
âOh yeahââ if she does come back, âre you cool with us... umââ?? Cause there really was somethinâ there, I tell ya. Not that itâs more important than you, but!!!â
Yeah, um... okay. It- I'm fine with it, I think. I'd like to meet her, though, if you see her again.
âOh, yeah, sure thing!! Didnât know where to find her, but now that I know she exists here itâll be real easy!!â
â...If sheâs here to find, aâcourse.â
Yeah, great, um... great. Yeah.
[she sets the chisel down, taking a moment to breathe]
Army notices, but doesnât comment.
The stone is stubborn, and despite the time spent theyâve barely left the room.
...
âAm I a bad person, yâthink??â
Um... I mean, probably, in like an objective-moral sense, but I still like you. I think it helps that most of the people you kill don't die die.
Army tilts her head at Prisoner.
âSoooo, itâs not that big a deal?? Cause likeââ the anonsâve been saying all sorts of crazy stuff about how âno one likes when I stab them!â or âthey all hate me!â and I think theyâre jusâ trying to get a rise outta me but yâknoooow.â
I donât think their opinion should matter to you, really. I⊠I think it doesnât really matter that much, honestly.
âRight, right, aâcourse!! But then they start sayinâ things about Razie andâââ
âI do get what ya mean, though, thereâs no pleasinâ âem!! Not âless I wanna stay me, which I do, thank you very much.â
Yeah, I think they just... hate us, or something. I think they find it entertaining when we're miserable.
âI hate how much sense that makes. âCuz why else would they justââ go out of their way to be all mean ân stuff??? âs just stupid.â
â...â
âThink I should lean into it?? The âbeing a horrible personâ stuff?? I think it could be fun, going all-out bad guy.â
â(I kinda am already??? In a way??? Iâd just have toââ lean more into it???)â
Maybe. I mean, I- honestly, I think that's how most people around here are already thinking about you, and I doubt it'd make me like you less, so it really comes down to whether you think you'd like doing that.
âI mean, anythinâ can be fun if you really want it to be!! If they think Iâm the âbad guyâ, I can be the bad guy!!!â
Army pauses her chipping. âAnd you know what a bad guy does??â
She wraps Prisoner in a tight hug with her free arm and laughs. âThey take pretty ladies from their homes...!!!â
Her grip loosens. â...and bring them far, far away.â
...
oh-
[she starts laughing, harder than she has for a while]
I- sorry, i'm fine, i'm fine.
[they spend the rest of the night chipping away at the track, occasionally chatting]
Army laughs with her, treasuring every moment.
Sheâd take her away from here. Sheâd have to, if it meant seeing Prisoner smile like that again.
Far, far away.
...
But as far as they wish to go, even giving her enough space to leave the register is... immensely difficult. There is so much track to go and only so many hours in a night.
Eventually the sun rises, and with the dark goes Armyâs welcome. Out in the open, things would only get worse for the both of them.
So for now, Army waves goodbye.
Until she can steal Prisoner away for good.
...
[she rushes to hug Army before she can leave]
I- bye. Come back soon?

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Itâs late, long after most have left the building.
Perhaps Prisoner is asleep. Perhaps her mind has left her body as she stares into space. Perhaps she is fully aware and focused for each agonizing, agonizing moment of the same walls and the same door and the same tables.
Regardless of what she currently is, a small, tinny noise breaks through the silence.
Metal chipping against stone.
@stp-mw-razorcuts
...mn? Is- is someone there?
Where the track leads into the building proper, the chipping stops, as if startled.
â...â
Hello...?
[She sounds... scared, much more than she would usually allow into her voice. She was caught off-guard, perhaps.]
â. . .â
(If I donât move, she might not realize Iâm here.)
âThere is no one here!â
(crud dangit dagnabbit fudgemuffins doing a backflip into a pile of ashes)
oh- Army?
âNnnnno. No!â
âActuallyââ who is that? Who are you talking to??â
For some reason, Army really does not wish for Prisoner to turn around, despiteââ everything obvious.
What? It- I'm talking to you?
[she turns around]
Army is hunched over the track, blades out. She looks at Pris as if she caught her escaping prison, which is ironic as she wasnât caught last time.
âdangitâ
[she crouches down next to her]
Watcha doin?
âUmââ Iâmââ I justââ I noticedââ you knowââ Iâm uhhhââ nothing much, justâââ
This continues. Armyâs eyes flit from Prisonerâs, to her blades, to the chain, to a random spot on the wall, and back again, repeatedly. Thereâs a noticeable spot of the stones and cement thatâs been carved away at slowly, slowly.
Were you... oh. I- are your blades alright?
Her stammering abruptly jumbles at the interruption, before she shakes her head. âNah, itâs just stone. Theyâre peachy.â
Oh, good. How, um... how've you been? It feels like it's been a while.
âYeah, it...â Army looks downcast, âIt has.â
She swallows. She does not answer the question.
[she tenses a bit, and shuffles closer.]
...hey?
Army takes a moment to acknowledge Prisoner, before suddenly launching into a hug. It hurts, like all of her best.
She gasps, half syllables struggling to squeeze between each breath. A broken torrent of âIâm sorryâs.
Her eyes burn.
wh- huh? I- are- sorry? For- for what?
Words fail, so Army vaguely gestures in the trackâs direction with her foot.
...? The... track? It- oh.
[she hugs back, the blades sliding further through her flesh as she does so]
It wasn't- don't- please don't feel like it was your fault. It- first of all, it's Witch's fault, and it stops there. Then, if anything, if I had handled the situation better, it wouldn't have come to this.
Armyâs gasps and sobs continue, but her stammering slows.
She buries her face in Prisonerâs shoulder.
[She puts one hand on the back of Army's head, pulling her in closer]
Hey, It's... it's alright. I'm alright.
Itâs a sight few have seen, Army being a sobbing mess. Very few things bring her to such hysterics. To lock Witch in a cycle of death. To lock herself in a prison of anguish.
Thankfully she has someone to carry her out, to hold her close, to tell her everything will be okay.
...
She still wishes she could do the same.
But for now, just for now, theyâre together, and thatâs enough for her.
Until the next.
...
The sudden, piercing agony of a beartrap snapping shut, before Army pulls away, her eyes and lips different shades of crimson.
Still, she smiles.
[She flinches as Army's teeth sink in, her head snapping upward]
That... surprised me.
[she's smiling, just a little.]
Army giggles, sharkteeth on full display. âJust a nibble.â
âUhh, what was that before again?? Right, um... Iâve mostly been, uh, trying to avoid thinking about... all this. I had a great time out there, but whenever I thought about it, any of it, or you, it just... like cause I thought you hated me for messing up which is stupid cuzâ youâre so nice and...â Army trails off.
It's, um... don't worry about it, I'm not mad. At you, anyway.
âOkay... okay.â That alone seems to have calmed her down, a bit. âSorry for... avoiding you, then.â
It's- it's alright. You're here now.
[she pulls herself to her feet]
âYeah, Iââ I am, huh?â Army does not rise with her.
âBut youâre still...â chip chip, âyouâre still...â chip chip chip.
â...Can we do it together???â
Oh. Um- yeah.
[She gets back on her knees and pulls out a chisel]
I got this from... it's a long story.
âWell, Iâm not complaininâ. Beats a kitchen knife.â
Army moves closer to Prisoner than is practical. Still, thereâs remarkable room between where sheâs chipping and where the stone ends.
âSo, howâve... howâve things been...? With you? Here?â
I've... I've been alright. 's been annoying not being able to leave the counter, but other than that it's been about the same as always.
âYeah I... I guess it would be, wouldnât it...? Just. Less room. Thatâs it...â
...
âDoes itââ bother you? When.. . peopleâââ she emphasizes a normal amount, âââmention things theyâve done outside...?â
Um... not usually. Not anymore, anyway, I think it used to bother me more. I've... gotten used to it, I guess.
âWell, uh... I havenât told you about the time when...!!â
Army begins animatedly describing the events with Harsh, Connie, and Sol in the alley as she works away. How she chased Connie over the rooftops only for them to disappear through a window, and how she went back to cut Harshâs arms open only to discover their weird bug anatomy.
She does this all with a smile that goes from uneasy to viciously nostalgic.
[she listens wordlessly as Army talks, her expression broadly neutral, if more present than she usually is]
Itâs turned into Army just informing about all the murders sheâs done in general. The fast, the slow, teasing, the passionate, she even touches on the events with Adversary that - despite circumstances - she looks back fondly on.
âThe idea was like , she canât die, right??? I cut her heart to pieces and she was still alive. And I was dying from that thing earlier, so likeââ I thought, âwhat if, as I die, I was inside her with all my knife bones.â Would she just be stuck like that or whatââ whatâsâappen?? Havenât seen her since which is sad, Iâd really like to try that again when Iâm not dying. Hey, have you ever murdered anyone???â
Have I... I think it was manslaughter rather than murder, technically.
Army tilts her head curiously.
It was... the bird, what's his name? Quiet, or something. He- you know the one.
âOhh, Birdface. Yeah, I know him!! Think we all killed him at least once; did he come at you with a knife too???â
Well... sort of? He- he had the knife in his hand, then he like, froze, and got this weird look in his eyes. I don't know, it was weird.
Army nods as if she understands, âAnd then you either noticed your own or didnât, and ââ yeah I get it.â
...'My own'?
âYeah!!! Yâknow, the knife that we had on us, back in the first time that was kinda hard to notice so sometimes he just gets you??â
I, um- I don't think I had a knife on me.
âYou didnât??â
She pauses her chipping, for a moment.
âNo no, you mustâve, you just... didnât notice, or... Wait what did you kill him with, then??â
He brought a knife, I used that.
âWow...â Armyâs eyes glimmer in admiration for an event that never happened. Fantasies of her girlfriend narrowly managing to snatch the knife away from Quiet and kill him with it flash through her mind.
Army realizes sheâs blushing and averts her eyes. âHAHA!!! Anyway...!!!â
...
I greatly dislike having my role stolen, butââ yes, she spots it, obscured by the shackle it may be. Itâs not careful, her examination, but it does not need to be.
âWoah, where did you get that??â
Huh- Oh, yeah, this. Some lady gave it to me, like a week-ish ago.
[She pulls out the necklace]
She said it was, like, a special key, or something? I- I'm not super sure, the whole thing was pretty confusing. She said not to give it to anyone, is why I had it hidden in the shackle.
âHuh! Weird. Too bad your... er,â Army falters, eyes falling to the shackle, âY-Yâknow. Just one hole and it already has somethinâ in it.â
Her smile comes back on, cheekily, âA very good thing!!â
[she smiles and turns away]
I, um... thanks. I- you- you're and- uh...
[she pauses]
I fucked that up, so much.
Army giggles and leans against Prisoner, âItâs fine, âs fiiiiiine, haha!!â
...
She continues working away in a comfortable silence.
[a few minutes pass]
Hey, I have a... a favor to ask, actually.
Army makes a noise that sounds like a question. A âwhat?â without letters.
When I get free-
[she puts extra emphasis on 'when']
-I want to leave the city. If not permanently, for a while. If it wouldn't be too much effort for you, I'd like you to figure out what the easiest way out of the city would be.
âYeah... yeah, I can do that!! I can do that, easy!!â
âI mean, my place is just a ways from here, but I canââ and even if not, I dunâ need evârythinâ. Theyâre just mementos.â
â...I-If you want me to come witâ you, anywho...!!â
Yeah! I'd- I'd be a little upset if you didn't want to come. We can, um... we can come back after a while, if you don't want to leave your stuff.
âI-I mean, thereâre only a few things Iâd really wanna take, itâs-itâs no big deal...â
âMaybe...â
âMaybe this whole âkiller barberâ thing was jusâ a phase, yâknow?? I donâtââ I donât need âmy placeâ to stay there...â
Oh, alright. Maybe we could get, like, a van or something, and put your stuff in there to transport it. Or we could live in the van, that's a thing people do, right?
âI think so!!! I think I live in whatâs meant to be a bathroom so it canât be that much harder!!â
âBuâ really, my stuff isnât that important, not if Iâm...â
Army jolts in realization.
âOh, wait, Razie!! And Ghostie!! I forgotââ I have a lotta friends here and Iunno how I feel abouâ leavinâ them... I think thereâs a way to still talk to âem??? Not the same, though.â
âAnd then thereâs Doll.â
We can... come back and visit.
...'Doll'?
Army perks up, despite already being âupâ.
âOh!! Did I not talk about âer??â
Army shifts to look Prisoner in the eyes. Seems this memory in particular is... special to her.
âThis is a long one, so buckle up.â
Oh, um, alright. I'm listening.
âWell, couple days ago - maybe a week or whatever - some lady came by my barbershop. Real fancy princess, all dress frills and makeup.â
âNow she jusâ stands there gaskinâ as Iâm cleaning up the place when I ask her if she wants a âcutâ - which could mean aaaaanything really, you never know - and after a bit aâ finagling the timid thing comes in and takes a seat.â
âI ask her what sheâd like, same as you, and she just lets me do whatever. And thatâs when I realized somethinâ funny.â
âWeâd actually met before, crossed paths in the basement here once a whiiile back. Gave her a nice slash across riiiiight across hereâââ Army traces the scarâs place with a finger, like a smile wider than lips could reach, âââbut it musta healed or something cause it was barely visible.â
âYou follow so far?? I know itâs slower than all the others, but itâsâ uh, itâsâââ
Rosy cheeks. She always sucked at hiding her intentions.
Sure, there are a couple of those around.
...
Yeah?
I mean, that would've been a while ago now, it makes sense that it'd have healed. And yeah, I think i'm following.
âAlright, alright, so I give âer just a lilâ trim, somethinâ neat thatâd look nice in bob or other, and sheâs just not talkinâ at all. I know some folks prefer not to talk with their barber, but sheâs not saying anything. Even when she talks âs just the bare minimum. Like she only spoke because I wanted her to.â
âShe sorta felt like a doll, yâknow? The sort that just sits there and looks pretty as they let you do whatever, so I thought âhey, why not give this doll a key to match?ââ
âI went into the back to carve up a lil key, saying Iâd grab a hair tie. âventually, I did come back to put her hair in a bunâââ
âââand then I poked a hole in the back of her neck...! The key fit perfectly.â
Army rummages through her apron, âActually, I think I still have it here!!â She holds out a tiny key shaped key of bone, caked in blood. Its edges are sharp and jagged.
Oh, huh. What, um... what did you carve it from?
âI have a lot of bones in my room, just lyinâ around.â
Oh. Yeah, that makes sense. She- could you describe her more? I'm trying to figure out if it's someone I know.
âOh!! Right, well like I said, Dollâs dress is all frills. Like, real fancy, plus she had like... eyeliner??? Eyeshadow?? Iunno enough, but it went down her eyes like this.â Army traces her lower eyelids. âShe tends to stare off into space a bit, but when she talks she goes on about all sortsâa stuff. Must be what she thinks about!!â
âOh yeah, and she had Birdfaceâs knife around her neck like a necklace.â
I see. The new girl? Or- maybe the health inspector, I think she also had a knife.
Armyâs face lights up. Her smile takes on a... strange edge.
âWell... she didnât say she worked here!! Didnât say a whole lot about herself, though, so!â
âAlright, where was I?? I poked hole in her neck for the key I made, and wouldnât you know it ââ she still didnât do much of anything!! Nothing to stop me, nothing to get away, nothing!!â
âEven as I twisted it into place, she just sat there. Looked into my eyes as I cut those old scars fresh, not a lick aâ fight to be seen.â
Army fidgets with the key as she talks. âNot that Iâm complaining, it was fun watching her brace herself as I snipped off finger after finger. Even though she didnât even try to get up, it was still so much fun!! I think she agreed, though she didnât admit it. But youâre the only one who does, so no surprise there.â
âWe had a nice chat as I did my thing about death, and how nothing really matters, and she asked me to kill her cuzâ she thought it might âstickâ for her.â
âI made her promise sheâd come back soon as she came back to life before I cut her spine, and she did. But I havenât seen her since so maybe she was right.â
âReal shame though, real shame. I still have Dollâs body in my room, but Iâd rather have the living thing.â
...huh. She- permanently? Alright. And it didn't seem like it bothered her?
âNope! She gave me biiiig smile before I killed her, so either sheâs crazy or she was fine with it.â
âIâm... honestly sad she dinât wind up coming back. Doubt sheâd get lost. Maybe she was lying âbout it, but I dunno. Really thought we had something, there.â
âOh yeahââ if she does come back, âre you cool with us... umââ?? Cause there really was somethinâ there, I tell ya. Not that itâs more important than you, but!!!â
Yeah, um... okay. It- I'm fine with it, I think. I'd like to meet her, though, if you see her again.
âOh, yeah, sure thing!! Didnât know where to find her, but now that I know she exists here itâll be real easy!!â
â...If sheâs here to find, aâcourse.â
Yeah, great, um... great. Yeah.
[she sets the chisel down, taking a moment to breathe]
Army notices, but doesnât comment.
The stone is stubborn, and despite the time spent theyâve barely left the room.
...
âAm I a bad person, yâthink??â
Um... I mean, probably, in like an objective-moral sense, but I still like you. I think it helps that most of the people you kill don't die die.
Army tilts her head at Prisoner.
âSoooo, itâs not that big a deal?? Cause likeââ the anonsâve been saying all sorts of crazy stuff about how âno one likes when I stab them!â or âthey all hate me!â and I think theyâre jusâ trying to get a rise outta me but yâknoooow.â
I donât think their opinion should matter to you, really. I⊠I think it doesnât really matter that much, honestly.
âRight, right, aâcourse!! But then they start sayinâ things about Razie andâââ
âI do get what ya mean, though, thereâs no pleasinâ âem!! Not âless I wanna stay me, which I do, thank you very much.â
Yeah, I think they just... hate us, or something. I think they find it entertaining when we're miserable.
âI hate how much sense that makes. âCuz why else would they justââ go out of their way to be all mean ân stuff??? âs just stupid.â
â...â
âThink I should lean into it?? The âbeing a horrible personâ stuff?? I think it could be fun, going all-out bad guy.â
â(I kinda am already??? In a way??? Iâd just have toââ lean more into it???)â
Maybe. I mean, I- honestly, I think that's how most people around here are already thinking about you, and I doubt it'd make me like you less, so it really comes down to whether you think you'd like doing that.
âI mean, anythinâ can be fun if you really want it to be!! If they think Iâm the âbad guyâ, I can be the bad guy!!!â
Army pauses her chipping. âAnd you know what a bad guy does??â
She wraps Prisoner in a tight hug with her free arm and laughs. âThey take pretty ladies from their homes...!!!â
Her grip loosens. â...and bring them far, far away.â
...
oh-
[she starts laughing, harder than she has for a while]
I- sorry, i'm fine, i'm fine.
[they spend the rest of the night chipping away at the track, occasionally chatting]
Itâs late, long after most have left the building.
Perhaps Prisoner is asleep. Perhaps her mind has left her body as she stares into space. Perhaps she is fully aware and focused for each agonizing, agonizing moment of the same walls and the same door and the same tables.
Regardless of what she currently is, a small, tinny noise breaks through the silence.
Metal chipping against stone.
@stp-mw-razorcuts
...mn? Is- is someone there?
Where the track leads into the building proper, the chipping stops, as if startled.
â...â
Hello...?
[She sounds... scared, much more than she would usually allow into her voice. She was caught off-guard, perhaps.]
â. . .â
(If I donât move, she might not realize Iâm here.)
âThere is no one here!â
(crud dangit dagnabbit fudgemuffins doing a backflip into a pile of ashes)
oh- Army?
âNnnnno. No!â
âActuallyââ who is that? Who are you talking to??â
For some reason, Army really does not wish for Prisoner to turn around, despiteââ everything obvious.
What? It- I'm talking to you?
[she turns around]
Army is hunched over the track, blades out. She looks at Pris as if she caught her escaping prison, which is ironic as she wasnât caught last time.
âdangitâ
[she crouches down next to her]
Watcha doin?
âUmââ Iâmââ I justââ I noticedââ you knowââ Iâm uhhhââ nothing much, justâââ
This continues. Armyâs eyes flit from Prisonerâs, to her blades, to the chain, to a random spot on the wall, and back again, repeatedly. Thereâs a noticeable spot of the stones and cement thatâs been carved away at slowly, slowly.
Were you... oh. I- are your blades alright?
Her stammering abruptly jumbles at the interruption, before she shakes her head. âNah, itâs just stone. Theyâre peachy.â
Oh, good. How, um... how've you been? It feels like it's been a while.
âYeah, it...â Army looks downcast, âIt has.â
She swallows. She does not answer the question.
[she tenses a bit, and shuffles closer.]
...hey?
Army takes a moment to acknowledge Prisoner, before suddenly launching into a hug. It hurts, like all of her best.
She gasps, half syllables struggling to squeeze between each breath. A broken torrent of âIâm sorryâs.
Her eyes burn.
wh- huh? I- are- sorry? For- for what?
Words fail, so Army vaguely gestures in the trackâs direction with her foot.
...? The... track? It- oh.
[she hugs back, the blades sliding further through her flesh as she does so]
It wasn't- don't- please don't feel like it was your fault. It- first of all, it's Witch's fault, and it stops there. Then, if anything, if I had handled the situation better, it wouldn't have come to this.
Armyâs gasps and sobs continue, but her stammering slows.
She buries her face in Prisonerâs shoulder.
[She puts one hand on the back of Army's head, pulling her in closer]
Hey, It's... it's alright. I'm alright.
Itâs a sight few have seen, Army being a sobbing mess. Very few things bring her to such hysterics. To lock Witch in a cycle of death. To lock herself in a prison of anguish.
Thankfully she has someone to carry her out, to hold her close, to tell her everything will be okay.
...
She still wishes she could do the same.
But for now, just for now, theyâre together, and thatâs enough for her.
Until the next.
...
The sudden, piercing agony of a beartrap snapping shut, before Army pulls away, her eyes and lips different shades of crimson.
Still, she smiles.
[She flinches as Army's teeth sink in, her head snapping upward]
That... surprised me.
[she's smiling, just a little.]
Army giggles, sharkteeth on full display. âJust a nibble.â
âUhh, what was that before again?? Right, um... Iâve mostly been, uh, trying to avoid thinking about... all this. I had a great time out there, but whenever I thought about it, any of it, or you, it just... like cause I thought you hated me for messing up which is stupid cuzâ youâre so nice and...â Army trails off.
It's, um... don't worry about it, I'm not mad. At you, anyway.
âOkay... okay.â That alone seems to have calmed her down, a bit. âSorry for... avoiding you, then.â
It's- it's alright. You're here now.
[she pulls herself to her feet]
âYeah, Iââ I am, huh?â Army does not rise with her.
âBut youâre still...â chip chip, âyouâre still...â chip chip chip.
â...Can we do it together???â
Oh. Um- yeah.
[She gets back on her knees and pulls out a chisel]
I got this from... it's a long story.
âWell, Iâm not complaininâ. Beats a kitchen knife.â
Army moves closer to Prisoner than is practical. Still, thereâs remarkable room between where sheâs chipping and where the stone ends.
âSo, howâve... howâve things been...? With you? Here?â
I've... I've been alright. 's been annoying not being able to leave the counter, but other than that it's been about the same as always.
âYeah I... I guess it would be, wouldnât it...? Just. Less room. Thatâs it...â
...
âDoes itââ bother you? When.. . peopleâââ she emphasizes a normal amount, âââmention things theyâve done outside...?â
Um... not usually. Not anymore, anyway, I think it used to bother me more. I've... gotten used to it, I guess.
âWell, uh... I havenât told you about the time when...!!â
Army begins animatedly describing the events with Harsh, Connie, and Sol in the alley as she works away. How she chased Connie over the rooftops only for them to disappear through a window, and how she went back to cut Harshâs arms open only to discover their weird bug anatomy.
She does this all with a smile that goes from uneasy to viciously nostalgic.
[she listens wordlessly as Army talks, her expression broadly neutral, if more present than she usually is]
Itâs turned into Army just informing about all the murders sheâs done in general. The fast, the slow, teasing, the passionate, she even touches on the events with Adversary that - despite circumstances - she looks back fondly on.
âThe idea was like , she canât die, right??? I cut her heart to pieces and she was still alive. And I was dying from that thing earlier, so likeââ I thought, âwhat if, as I die, I was inside her with all my knife bones.â Would she just be stuck like that or whatââ whatâsâappen?? Havenât seen her since which is sad, Iâd really like to try that again when Iâm not dying. Hey, have you ever murdered anyone???â
Have I... I think it was manslaughter rather than murder, technically.
Army tilts her head curiously.
It was... the bird, what's his name? Quiet, or something. He- you know the one.
âOhh, Birdface. Yeah, I know him!! Think we all killed him at least once; did he come at you with a knife too???â
Well... sort of? He- he had the knife in his hand, then he like, froze, and got this weird look in his eyes. I don't know, it was weird.
Army nods as if she understands, âAnd then you either noticed your own or didnât, and ââ yeah I get it.â
...'My own'?
âYeah!!! Yâknow, the knife that we had on us, back in the first time that was kinda hard to notice so sometimes he just gets you??â
I, um- I don't think I had a knife on me.
âYou didnât??â
She pauses her chipping, for a moment.
âNo no, you mustâve, you just... didnât notice, or... Wait what did you kill him with, then??â
He brought a knife, I used that.
âWow...â Armyâs eyes glimmer in admiration for an event that never happened. Fantasies of her girlfriend narrowly managing to snatch the knife away from Quiet and kill him with it flash through her mind.
Army realizes sheâs blushing and averts her eyes. âHAHA!!! Anyway...!!!â
...
I greatly dislike having my role stolen, butââ yes, she spots it, obscured by the shackle it may be. Itâs not careful, her examination, but it does not need to be.
âWoah, where did you get that??â
Huh- Oh, yeah, this. Some lady gave it to me, like a week-ish ago.
[She pulls out the necklace]
She said it was, like, a special key, or something? I- I'm not super sure, the whole thing was pretty confusing. She said not to give it to anyone, is why I had it hidden in the shackle.
âHuh! Weird. Too bad your... er,â Army falters, eyes falling to the shackle, âY-Yâknow. Just one hole and it already has somethinâ in it.â
Her smile comes back on, cheekily, âA very good thing!!â
[she smiles and turns away]
I, um... thanks. I- you- you're and- uh...
[she pauses]
I fucked that up, so much.
Army giggles and leans against Prisoner, âItâs fine, âs fiiiiiine, haha!!â
...
She continues working away in a comfortable silence.
[a few minutes pass]
Hey, I have a... a favor to ask, actually.
Army makes a noise that sounds like a question. A âwhat?â without letters.
When I get free-
[she puts extra emphasis on 'when']
-I want to leave the city. If not permanently, for a while. If it wouldn't be too much effort for you, I'd like you to figure out what the easiest way out of the city would be.
âYeah... yeah, I can do that!! I can do that, easy!!â
âI mean, my place is just a ways from here, but I canââ and even if not, I dunâ need evârythinâ. Theyâre just mementos.â
â...I-If you want me to come witâ you, anywho...!!â
Yeah! I'd- I'd be a little upset if you didn't want to come. We can, um... we can come back after a while, if you don't want to leave your stuff.
âI-I mean, thereâre only a few things Iâd really wanna take, itâs-itâs no big deal...â
âMaybe...â
âMaybe this whole âkiller barberâ thing was jusâ a phase, yâknow?? I donâtââ I donât need âmy placeâ to stay there...â
Oh, alright. Maybe we could get, like, a van or something, and put your stuff in there to transport it. Or we could live in the van, that's a thing people do, right?
âI think so!!! I think I live in whatâs meant to be a bathroom so it canât be that much harder!!â
âBuâ really, my stuff isnât that important, not if Iâm...â
Army jolts in realization.
âOh, wait, Razie!! And Ghostie!! I forgotââ I have a lotta friends here and Iunno how I feel abouâ leavinâ them... I think thereâs a way to still talk to âem??? Not the same, though.â
âAnd then thereâs Doll.â
We can... come back and visit.
...'Doll'?
Army perks up, despite already being âupâ.
âOh!! Did I not talk about âer??â
Army shifts to look Prisoner in the eyes. Seems this memory in particular is... special to her.
âThis is a long one, so buckle up.â
Oh, um, alright. I'm listening.
âWell, couple days ago - maybe a week or whatever - some lady came by my barbershop. Real fancy princess, all dress frills and makeup.â
âNow she jusâ stands there gaskinâ as Iâm cleaning up the place when I ask her if she wants a âcutâ - which could mean aaaaanything really, you never know - and after a bit aâ finagling the timid thing comes in and takes a seat.â
âI ask her what sheâd like, same as you, and she just lets me do whatever. And thatâs when I realized somethinâ funny.â
âWeâd actually met before, crossed paths in the basement here once a whiiile back. Gave her a nice slash across riiiiight across hereâââ Army traces the scarâs place with a finger, like a smile wider than lips could reach, âââbut it musta healed or something cause it was barely visible.â
âYou follow so far?? I know itâs slower than all the others, but itâsâ uh, itâsâââ
Rosy cheeks. She always sucked at hiding her intentions.
Sure, there are a couple of those around.
...
Yeah?
I mean, that would've been a while ago now, it makes sense that it'd have healed. And yeah, I think i'm following.
âAlright, alright, so I give âer just a lilâ trim, somethinâ neat thatâd look nice in bob or other, and sheâs just not talkinâ at all. I know some folks prefer not to talk with their barber, but sheâs not saying anything. Even when she talks âs just the bare minimum. Like she only spoke because I wanted her to.â
âShe sorta felt like a doll, yâknow? The sort that just sits there and looks pretty as they let you do whatever, so I thought âhey, why not give this doll a key to match?ââ
âI went into the back to carve up a lil key, saying Iâd grab a hair tie. âventually, I did come back to put her hair in a bunâââ
âââand then I poked a hole in the back of her neck...! The key fit perfectly.â
Army rummages through her apron, âActually, I think I still have it here!!â She holds out a tiny key shaped key of bone, caked in blood. Its edges are sharp and jagged.
Oh, huh. What, um... what did you carve it from?
âI have a lot of bones in my room, just lyinâ around.â
Oh. Yeah, that makes sense. She- could you describe her more? I'm trying to figure out if it's someone I know.
âOh!! Right, well like I said, Dollâs dress is all frills. Like, real fancy, plus she had like... eyeliner??? Eyeshadow?? Iunno enough, but it went down her eyes like this.â Army traces her lower eyelids. âShe tends to stare off into space a bit, but when she talks she goes on about all sortsâa stuff. Must be what she thinks about!!â
âOh yeah, and she had Birdfaceâs knife around her neck like a necklace.â
I see. The new girl? Or- maybe the health inspector, I think she also had a knife.
Armyâs face lights up. Her smile takes on a... strange edge.
âWell... she didnât say she worked here!! Didnât say a whole lot about herself, though, so!â
âAlright, where was I?? I poked hole in her neck for the key I made, and wouldnât you know it ââ she still didnât do much of anything!! Nothing to stop me, nothing to get away, nothing!!â
âEven as I twisted it into place, she just sat there. Looked into my eyes as I cut those old scars fresh, not a lick aâ fight to be seen.â
Army fidgets with the key as she talks. âNot that Iâm complaining, it was fun watching her brace herself as I snipped off finger after finger. Even though she didnât even try to get up, it was still so much fun!! I think she agreed, though she didnât admit it. But youâre the only one who does, so no surprise there.â
âWe had a nice chat as I did my thing about death, and how nothing really matters, and she asked me to kill her cuzâ she thought it might âstickâ for her.â
âI made her promise sheâd come back soon as she came back to life before I cut her spine, and she did. But I havenât seen her since so maybe she was right.â
âReal shame though, real shame. I still have Dollâs body in my room, but Iâd rather have the living thing.â
...huh. She- permanently? Alright. And it didn't seem like it bothered her?
âNope! She gave me biiiig smile before I killed her, so either sheâs crazy or she was fine with it.â
âIâm... honestly sad she dinât wind up coming back. Doubt sheâd get lost. Maybe she was lying âbout it, but I dunno. Really thought we had something, there.â
âOh yeahââ if she does come back, âre you cool with us... umââ?? Cause there really was somethinâ there, I tell ya. Not that itâs more important than you, but!!!â
Yeah, um... okay. It- I'm fine with it, I think. I'd like to meet her, though, if you see her again.
âOh, yeah, sure thing!! Didnât know where to find her, but now that I know she exists here itâll be real easy!!â
â...If sheâs here to find, aâcourse.â
Yeah, great, um... great. Yeah.
[she sets the chisel down, taking a moment to breathe]
Army notices, but doesnât comment.
The stone is stubborn, and despite the time spent theyâve barely left the room.
...
âAm I a bad person, yâthink??â
Um... I mean, probably, in like an objective-moral sense, but I still like you. I think it helps that most of the people you kill don't die die.
Army tilts her head at Prisoner.
âSoooo, itâs not that big a deal?? Cause likeââ the anonsâve been saying all sorts of crazy stuff about how âno one likes when I stab them!â or âthey all hate me!â and I think theyâre jusâ trying to get a rise outta me but yâknoooow.â
I donât think their opinion should matter to you, really. I⊠I think it doesnât really matter that much, honestly.
âRight, right, aâcourse!! But then they start sayinâ things about Razie andâââ
âI do get what ya mean, though, thereâs no pleasinâ âem!! Not âless I wanna stay me, which I do, thank you very much.â
Yeah, I think they just... hate us, or something. I think they find it entertaining when we're miserable.
âI hate how much sense that makes. âCuz why else would they justââ go out of their way to be all mean ân stuff??? âs just stupid.â
â...â
âThink I should lean into it?? The âbeing a horrible personâ stuff?? I think it could be fun, going all-out bad guy.â
â(I kinda am already??? In a way??? Iâd just have toââ lean more into it???)â
Maybe. I mean, I- honestly, I think that's how most people around here are already thinking about you, and I doubt it'd make me like you less, so it really comes down to whether you think you'd like doing that.