If I look back I am lost

only death may pay for life

Dany chibi

I'm gonna have a pretty controversial take here, and might get some people disagreeing with me, which is totally fine, but lets keep it civil please.

Spoilers Ahead!

First of all, you entirely centered white humans in an Indigenous woman’s pain and grief about her oppression. That alone makes everything you said automatically invalid to me. Prioritizing how the unconscious effects of Neytiri’s grief and trauma are unfair to Spider and Jake instead of prioritizing Neytiri’s grief and trauma themselves is unjust. This isn’t to say that this topic is not worth discussing, but this was utterly unrelated to what I said, and I find it very telling how every single post that centers Neytiri and her trauma always needs to be made about Spider (or Jake too), while Neytiri and her feelings are never actually allowed to be the focus, because prioritizing white people in an Indigenous woman’s oppression is always more important. You took my post and completely distorted its original point to make Spider the main focus of Neytiri’s feelings about her oppression, and in doing so you proved to be exactly like the people I was criticizing.

Second of all, insinuating that Neytiri needed to accept Spider in order to heal is also extremely insulting, which is the exact point I was making. Once again, this is centering a white human boy in her grief. Neytiri accepting Spider is a reflection of her character development and her capabilty to let go of the unnecessary and misplaced hatred she was feeling; it was NOT the source nor the pinnacle of her healing journey.

Third of all, the way you framed the situation is completely wrong and insensitive: like the main source of Neytiri’s pain is not the brutal colonization and genocide she has endured all her life, but the rightful anger that emerged as a reaction to said oppression. Failing to center colonization as the root of her problems and feelings is a dishonest, unjust and invalid framing.

You also seem to have misunderstood a focal point that was actually very clear in my original post: I never said or implied that Neytiri being consumed by hatred and anger is a good thing or that is compatible with a peaceful life. I simply said that it’s insulting to assume that accepting Spider singlehandedly healed Neytiri and magically made her let go of her legitimate hatred of her colonizers. There is a HUGE difference between feeling hatred and anger towards your oppressors (which is something Neytiri—and countless other Na’vi—will normally & rightfully always do) and being consumed by said anger and hatred. Neytiri risked the latter situation, but successfully managed to move on from it (not because of Spider, but because of her own strength); this, however, does not mean she needs to completely let go of her anger and hatred in order to heal and live a peaceful life. That was the entire point of my post.

Another point that literally made my blood boil is your statement that the RDA’s racist view of the Na’vi is equal to Neytiri being prejudiced to her literal colonizers. Not only comparing, but EQUATING an Indigenous woman’s perfectly normal and valid generalized view of her colonizers (caused by the endless and brutal oppression they cause her and her people) to the racist and dehumanizing view of Indigenous people held by said colonizers—view that is literally used to justify their colonization and genocide—is nothing short of revolting and shameful. I refuse to elaborate on this, and the fact that I even had to point this out is disgraceful enough.

The idea that Neytiri has some sort of moral failing because she hates all humans is also extremely disgusting. Humans—yes, humans—are her and her people’s COLONIZERS. Grace was an ally, but she was also a colonizer. So was Jake. So was Norm, so was EVERY SINGLE HUMAN that came to Pandora. Demanding that a victim of colonization puts aside the horrific trauma she has endured because disliking her oppressors in general is unfair to the good ones is VILE. And by the way, Neytiri KNOWS not all humans are like that. She closely cooperates with them for almost two decades, and has close relationships with many of them for most of her life. Yet she is still allowed to hate humans as a whole, because THEY ARE HER COLONIZERS. These are not contradictory statements. She—or any other Omatikaya or Na’vi—does not owe ANY human any form of compassion or understanding, because they (as a whole) are their colonizers. Once again, you are taking the brutal oppression of a population and centering (former) colonizers (which are not harmed in any way shape or form by Neytiri’s dislike of them) in it because “not all of them are the same”. I ask you: why are colonizers’ (possible) hurt feelings (yes, even if said people are allies, or simply related to colonizers instead of being colonizers themselves) always more important than the horrific, unimaginable trauma and grief caused by colonization of Indigenous people?

Reducing Neytiri’s extremely deep and layered trauma to “she can’t love Jake and hate humans at the same time” is also immensely reductive, superficial, objectively wrong, and it demonstrates your white-centric viewpoint and how little empathy you decide do grant Neytiri so that you can favor and center white people over an Indigenous woman’s pain. Neytiri loving Jake and hating humans as a whole are feelings that seem completely contradictory on a superficial level, but can, and do, coexist within her. I have actually written a very in-depth analysis about this topic, extensively explaining why a) Neytiri does not and never did hate her children or Jake, but rather she resents the fact that they have her oppressors’ blood inside of them (which is a very significant difference), and b) that this is not a choice or intentional misdeed on her behalf, but an unconscious trauma response that she unwillingly has, and which causes her an extremely painful inner turmoil.

Lastly, I just want to touch very quickly on your assumption/“accusation” that because I defend Neytiri’s anger, I automatically refuse to discuss traits of her character in a critical way. I have written extensive meta about controversial aspects of Neytiri that 99% of people, including her stans, don’t talk about or even acknowledge. Again, you have taken my post and purposely distorted its meaning so that you could write about something that was completely unrelated to it, and misinterpreted my words so much that you felt comfortable making absolutely baseless assumptions about me.