My alone time is for everyone’s safety

i obviously do not play with toys. i only like formal dinners, and foreign films.

i think more final girls should be forty and kind of weird and off-putting

[smilingly serenely] when i am ascendant these immature fantasies of yours will be impossible to articulate, let alone act on. boyfriend, husband, or whatever simply will not be categories of being

Hookup culture is so convoluted these days and I don't meant that in a way that is dismissive of the act in of itself but rather that you used to be able to just have a few drinks with a girl and then she'd put her eggs in you or vice versa nd then maybe you'd stack colored pebbles together for a few hours but nowadays she always has to try and poison your wine which I suppose I can't really complain about because I also try to poison hers while slipping antidote into mine but she does the same so we get mad at each other and grapple for a while and then she stings me with her stinger or injects venom into me with her fangs or what have you and THEN finally gets to the oviposition. It all just feels a bit overcomplicated to me and you can't even stack colored pebbles afterwards because you're still paralyzed from the venom

epic puppies swag their tails

Pepper spraying your third eye

Pepper spraying your third eye

Pepper spraying your third eye