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It’s strange how I can go months and likely years without ever texting you again, yet I can’t even go a couple of hours without thinking about you.

Fuck you. I was worth fighting for.

thepersonalquotes

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He asked me if I was ok. I said yes.

I lied.

I told him I hope it works out between them.

I lied.

He asked me if I wanted a hug. I said no.

I lied.

I told I would never dare do such a thing. That it wasn’t in me. Even if I sometimes thought about it.

I lied.

florial

resqectable

“I miss you deeply, unfathomably, senselessly, terribly.”

— Franz Kafka

I wish you were here with me, hugging me, kissing my neck, whispering in my ear how much you love me. But you’re not. You’re with her. You’re hugging her. You’re kissing her neck, her lips, her breasts.

So a beautiful Lisbon sunset that’s supposed to make me smile just makes me force back tears.

thoughtkick

“You come home, make some tea, sit down in your armchair and all around there’s silence. Everyone decides for themselves whether that’s loneliness or freedom.”

— Unknown

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thepersonalquotes

So does anyone else sometimes think “fuck it” and fully express their yearning and buried emotions to their ex because you know him well enough to predict he will get the ick and reply with cruel indifference to your pain, which will only serve as fuel to get over him because the anger and resentment helps you mute your longing for them? At least for a little while.

Masochistic? Who, me?

Yes, absolutely.

perfectquote

“There’s really no shortcut to forgetting someone. You just have to endure missing them everyday until you don’t anymore.”

— Unknown

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missinyouiskillingme

Sometimes all you can do is lie in bed and hope to fall asleep before you fall apart.

— William C. Hannan

It’s Valentine’s Day and it’s 5:30 am and all I can think of is that you’re in her arms instead of mine. And you’re kissing her lips instead of mine. And you’re touching her bare skin instead of mine. And you’re in bed with her instead of with me and I don’t know how to survive these thoughts without losing my mind.

I remember you once told me that the only person who has ever made you feel truly loved was me. Who does that for you now? Is it her?

Does she make you feel loved like I did? Does she caress you like I did? Does she look at you with adoration like I did?

Or maybe she doesn’t. And maybe that’s the point. Maybe that’s why you chose her over me. Because I loved you.

But I loved you too much, didn’t I?

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