*// C͞A̷F̧FEI҉NA͡TE ！

@stmulnts gets another starter :))

he also hated his nickname being called by his classmates down the hallway , at least when he couldn't immediately pinpoint the voice as craig's , or any of the other theater kids . but , better his nickname than his real name ; too similar to his father's . and , frankly , at least it's not cartman .

@stmulnts gets a starter :)

“You’re such an idiot. I will literally kiss you on the mouth.”

“ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID???”

“Not evil anymore, I want to be loved now.”

“Babygirl, you are awkward and do not understand social cues.”

“Sorry about being mentally ill, the sex will be bomb though.”

“What if my best self is a cunt that can’t wake up before noon?”

“They’ve got something gay going on.”

“I’m the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person I know.”

“I couldn’t fix him. But I could fuck him.”

“I am a generator of hate, and my rage is a renewable resource, like sunshine.”

“If you ever feel stupid or weak or powerless, just remember that I, am not.“

“I’m not interested in being polite or heterosexual.”

“You’re talking mad shit for a guy within kissing distance.”

“I’m sorry I’m hot and funny. Are you mad at me?”

“You make a lot of threats for someone who is short and can’t even do a push-up.”

“My fear of abandonment is so strong, because if I could I would abandon myself too.”

“Your first kill together as a couple is an important relationship milestone.”

“My kink? Knowing all the information.”

“I think Aristotle said that.”

“The Universe has a sense of humor and I can respect the commitment to the bit but, girl, please.”

“Vulnerability is so hard. If I told you anything sappy know that I had a hand to hand combat with seven layers of embarrassment and repression.”

“Please don’t say mean things to me.”

“My hobbies include knowing and being right.”

“I told you a joke and you’re laughing. I love you.”

“I’m covered in blood for sexy reasons. Also I just got stabbed.”

“I don’t identify as “male” or “female”, I identify as a warning.”

“I’ve made a huge mistake.”

“First of all, I didn’t “miss” the red flags. I looked at them and thought: yeah, that’s sexy.”

“I could recognize him by tits alone.”

“I hate when people ask me what sign I am. Like, bitch, I am a sign from God. Start running.”

part one: january - march apologies ahead of time for length! feel free to change pronouns if need be. warning for foul and dirty language, suggestiveness, and capslock-implied yelling :)

"If I woke up tomorrow and I was 13 again, it would be over for me."

"That guy's a fucking bozo."

"Why do you know what happens when you cut a bird's head off?"

"I don't care! I hate his guts! ...However, I would still very much fall for it."

"I have chronic autism."

"I keep enough change in my asshole that I jingle."

"Oh my god, I wanna be an oil puddle soooo bad."

"So, I cut off my ass, and sold it to Joann Fabric."

"What if my muscles get too relaxed and my uterus falls out?"

"There's not an agitator in this washing machine, but there is an agitator in me."

"Your Honor, no shit!"

"WHO FILLED MY HOLE?"

"All I do is deal with dumbasses."

"How 'bout you bid deez nuts?"

"I'd sauté that pickle."

"Why'd you emote at me?"

"I'm turning into Mussolini and I'm not even fully sure who that is."

"No! I've never hawk-tuah'd on my inhaler!"

"I bet she failed Breathing 101."

"It's like... I'm vibing, right? But the vibrator is broken. Y'know?"

"Oh, that is NOT Biggie Cheese."

"What do you MEAN, I have a small grabbable waist?"

"I SAID I EAT ASS! I WINKED AT YOU! YOU DIDN'T RESPOND!"

"Fish stay under the water, I think."

"Dudes are mounting each other, and I'm here for it."

"Tomorrow is the day my penis starts bleeding for a week."

"Yeah, man. Sure. Whatever fucks your butt, I guess."

"Let me in, I have my rights! Me and the bugs outnumber you!"

"I would get a cybernetic dick immediately."

"If anything, you're a power bottom."

"Just put it in my trunk raw."

"We can go to Barnes and Noble and eat a book."

"I GOT your four basic food groups! Butter, Kraft singles, milk, and Verners!"

"I know he needs to go at a speed, but fuck."

"I DON'T WANT MY COCK TO FIZZ!"

"I think we should replace testicles with squeaky toys."

"I've replaced my bong water with Coca Cola."

"Imagine gooning in a self driving bus."

"Where is the tit on the almond?"

"Can you describe your coworkers in three words, without using slurs?"

"I'm so excited. I'm gonna look like a chicken."

"We can't skip the Beegees. We can only prolong the inevitable."

My muse can either say yes or no and say why or why not they would date that person.