letters for you

This is not good anymore.

Here’s the thing… I really thought I had moved on. I convinced myself that I did. But when he got mad at me this time, something inside me cracked again. It’s strange — how one moment can pull me back to the same ache I swore I’d left behind. I felt my world collapse all over again, like I was standing in the same place I fought so hard to walk away from. Maybe I’m not as healed as I thought. Maybe I just learned how to live with the pain until it decided to speak again.

Lately, I’ve been hating everything that comes after sunset. I hate when the day ends. I hate the moment I have to turn off the lights in my room. I hate going to sleep knowing I’m the only one carrying all these feelings, while he’s just there—existing, content with his own company, with nothing to worry about. I want so badly to share everything with him, but what breaks me is knowing I have no right to. I want to say goodbye, but it hurts too much. I want him, but I know I have to let him go.

I wonder how's your day?

oh gee.

I really miss you.

It’s been three months, and you’re still here — not in my life, but in my mind. I keep telling myself you wouldn’t care if I reached out, yet I catch myself wanting to hear your voice, even just for a moment. I’m afraid of what’s next, afraid that if I try, I’ll only prove myself right. My heart races at the thought of you, and I wonder if you feel nothing at all. Still, I miss you — not just the way you looked or spoke, but the way you once existed in my world. And maybe that’s why it hurts: because you still do, even now.

I want to believe this is just a hormonal thing. That missing you is temporary, chemical, fleeting. But it lingers like it means something.

I miss you

I miss talking to you.

Just wanna say i miss you.

Oh