If you were my girlfriend:
I would make you mediocre food but it would taste good because it’s hot, and we could sit on the couch and eat while listening to Explosions in the Sky or other rad instrumental music and watch the bunny hopping around, and you can squeal and grab my arm when he cleans his little face in the adorable way he does, and then I’ll give you a shitty can of beer and we can talk about our lives or cuddle or watch a movie and make out or lie on the floor with the rabbit or share a tub of ice cream for desert.
Whenever I’d see you my face would light up in amazement at how beautiful you are, and just my expression would make you blush, because with one look into my eyes you’d see how beautiful I think you are, and my speechlessness would say what my eyes don’t.
I would be proud of you always. I’d want to introduce you to my parents even though I don’t like them much, and to my friends. I’d want to bring you to parties and events and concerts and just walk with you holding hands in public and take you to coffee and lunch and dinner and when that drunk girl at that party tries to hit on me I can turn and smile at you because you would never doubt how I feel, and I would have eyes for no one else.
We could take showers together and laugh more than kiss, and we could spoon and sleep, spend Saturdays in bed and never leave. I would love you and I would make you scream in the best way possible. But I’d always be right there, you could hold on to me. I’d be whatever you need, and I’d be there whenever you need.
I would be the best date your parents could ever meet, and your friends would love me. I wouldn’t be jealous or threatened by what’s in your past, I would accept you and be honest with you, and you would never have to fear being honest with me.
If anyone gave me a chance, I could be all you ever dreamed. I’d play you music and if you were lucky maybe you could hear me shittily sing. We could go on drives in my car and explore all the places we’ve never seen. I’d take things slow, never push you at all, and all I’d ask in return is that you let me. I’d just ask that you wouldn’t push me away, because I would never reject you. Never. I’d only wrap you up and be the rock that you need.
I think you’re beautiful.
Do you want to go out with me sometime?
I’m a little awkward and a little shy, but I would love to take you out, and maybe I’d kiss you on our first date, or maybe I’d wait until our second. I want to know everything about you, your successes and your failures, why you are the way you are, what makes you laugh and what makes you cry. I will hold the door for you and maybe I’d hold your hand. I’d walk you to your door and I’d tell you how beautiful you are. I’d tell you if you didn’t know, and I’d still tell you if you did. I would be consistent and I would be present. I would not disappoint you.
But instead I’ll be on a snowy mountain with fiberglass strapped to my feet this weekend, and I’ll drink beer in a corner at some stupid Valentines Day party. But that’s okay, I’m okay with that. I’ll patiently wait for the day someone can see or understand any of this in me and makes me feel this way. I’ll keep waiting patiently.
