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I’m starting to realize that constantly letting things slide doesn’t actually protect my peace. But it only buries the discomfort I already feel until it quietly turns into resentment later on..., which is so much worse.
Not everything deserves my patience anymore, esp when basic consideration is the bare minimum someone could show.
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Our gym branch is almost always packed during the daytime now, so my husband and I have ended up coming at this hour instead.
It wasn't like this before. I feel like the branch may have gone a little overboard with membership sign-ups lately. 😶 It's a bit frustrating having to wait just to use the equipment.
I really appreciate how supportive my husband is of my journaling. Back then in my past relationships, I wasn't nearly as open about it. I would even feel a little shy or self-conscious whenever I mentioned that I kept journals. Pyke has never made me feel that way. He doesn't see journaling as "unproductive," nor does he think I'm too old for it or that I should be spending my time working, studying, or trying to be a "good homemaker" instead. He respects my privacy when I write and my journals have become such an ordinary part of our home that I can leave them lying on my desk without worrying that he'll pick them up out of curiosity. He's even happy to pay for premium subscriptions for my other digital journals as long as he knows they'll make me happy and support my well-being even if I insist that I don't need them. I feel lucky to have him. These little (or big) gestures mean so much more to me than he probably realizes because he lets me be in touch with my own identity.
One of my favorite authors is Najwa Zebian. Over the years, I’ve slowly built a small collection of her books and I also enjoy listening to her podcast. Her work has resonated with me in a way that few authors have, esp as I've been learning how to navigate difficult relationships and walk away from toxic people.
Some of the podcast episodes that have stayed with me the most are How to Heal from a Narcissist, Stop Being Nice to People Who Aren’t Nice to You & Stop Being the Bigger Person. I've also been reading The Only Constant. I haven't finished it yet, but only with just a few chapters in, I already found myself pausing every few pages because so many of my thoughts and doubts started to make sense. It felt validating. I'm slowly learning that choosing myself doesn't have to come with guilt and it was never selfishness after all but it was something I had been conditioned to believe.
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So we made a little attempt at something new, a YouTube channel, mainly to document our travels. 🤍Nothing grand, just soft travels, the way we see things, the way we feel them.
Sharing this here, from the heart… whoever watches this, I hope it brings a little comfort.
• Confessions of a Forty-Something F*cked Up - Really loving this funny yet somehow a bit deep than I expected!
• The Body Keeps the Score - Trying to digest this slowly because it's such a heavy read. But still fascinating & really useful for my research.
• Substack - My new hangout addiction (after Reddit, lol). I don’t even remember signing up here before, but lately I find myself checking in a couple of times a day, diving into more substantial, in-depth articles about creative living, slow living, gratitude, and the little things that make life pretty.
🍿 Currently (binge) watching:
F1 series on Netflix
Joan Didion: The Center Will Not Hold - Not the way I imagined, but yeah, it's still worth watching.
Travel vlogs & Gala Ni Ced on YT
Dua lipa interviews 🩷
🎧 Currently listening:
• Cat Clyde albums - Newly discovered favorite! I need to get back into my Spotify habit of discovering new songs; I’d forgotten how therapeutic it can be.
I've been home for days now, yet a part of me is still somewhere along the mountain roads of Sagada. I keep catching myself half-jokingly wanting to ask my husband if we can just book another bus ticket next week! I've been trying to figure out why it affected me this much. No, it wasn't just the postcard-perfect views, there was something else like the kind that makes you pause mid-step just because you want to take it all in. I can still feel the cool mountain air that feels like a reset oxygen for my lungs. I love the little moments of serendipity such as seeing the rice terraces in real life by surprise and damn, did it leave me speechless. I love how right it feels to sip hot coffee while looking out over the mountains in the cold morning air. And the way I got a glimpse of their slow rhythm of life, unhurried, simple, yet deeply content.
We're back in the city now & here I am scrolling our photos unable to stop reliving the memories. Words fall short describing Sagada and even the highest-resolution photos could never quite capture what it feels like to be there to breathe it in and to exist in that moment.
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I honestly don’t know where this book was going. I only picked it up because Dua Lipa read it too, lol.
I guess it was intentionally meant to be “plotless”, more of a stream of consciousness than something structured. Or baka di ko lang talaga gets yung literary depth niya, and I wasn’t exactly in the right headspace to hyper-analyze it. I was here purely for entertainment, forget the academic deep dive, lol.
To be fair, I read it on and off over two months, so I probably forgot some parts along the way. If I had to summarize it, though, it’s just basically about a 25-year-old woman who likes to sleep around (sorry that's what stuck!) and thinks soooo low of herself. I want to sympathize with the character pero di ko magawa. There are also way too many unnecessary characters and names that don’t really add much na except naka confuse lang lalo while I try to remember who or how they are relevant in the story.
As someone who’s into mental health advocacy, I feel like I’m supposed to appreciate what it was trying to say. I do see the intention. But maybe the execution just didn’t live up to the premise I was expecting. It felt a bit dragging and emotionally flat.
I may be late to the party, but who cares? Hihi, I’ve officially picked up a new sports interest, F1! I just finished binge watching F1: The Academy (2024) on Netflix for 2 days and I can't believe how hooked I got. 😅
The series follow these young female drivers, ages ranging 17 to 20 years old! Like what? They aren't even legally allowed to drive road cars, yet they’re racing at 300+ km/hr! Sobrang insanely cool lang.
One thing I like is also seeing a fellow Filipina in the contest, Bianca Bustamente (sponsored by McLaren). Though as much as I support her & admire her courage on the track, I got a mix of emotions towards her, lol. One minute I'm wowing, the next minute I'd cringe from the near-misses, mishandled and whatevers. Sometimes you sympathize with her frustration but you can't help but blame her for not focusing, or taking it seriously. I don't mean that in a bad way, even her team would argue that she's often distracted esp before the race wherein she should be clearing her head and being in the zone instead of doing promos or taking pictures with her fans & calling out that this is not a contest on who is the best "influencer".
But again, who am I to judge, I know it’s not easy to compete in a high stress level kind of environment where you are pressured to perform with high expectations.
Then I also found myself rooting for Doriane Pin, the calm and precise French driver backed by the Mercedes, and Abbi Pulling!!! the fierce British driver of Alpine Academy. These two can go head-to-head, pushing each other to the limits. Every lap feels intense, and watching them is just pure adrenaline.
Lia Block almost won me over. But she lost me with what she did to Hamna towards the end. 🙄
What I love most is that I got drawn to this sport completely on my own. No hype, no influence, just genuine interest. It feels nice discovering something because you actually like it.
Motorsport is brutal (and dangerous) One tiny mistake, one second lost can change everything. Watching it I realized that it's not just the skill, but you need some wild mental strength to dare yourself out there. And these young ladies just have the balls!!!
After finishing the series, I searched on YT to understand F1 better, and I came across this vlog where she described F1 as a geeky sport. What a compliment! Lol. It is not just about speed. It is engineering, strategy, aerodynamics etc. The way she explained it just makes you want to fall deeper in love with the sport. And did I mention she is a woman too?
Looks like I’m officially in my F1 era. 🏁
PS.
This just proves why I race Tamiya. It’s never just a toy. Once you understand the thrill of speed and precision, you get it. 😉
Photos from Google & F1 Academy
Abbi Pulling 🇬🇧
Bianca Bustamante 🇵🇭
Doriane Pin 🇫🇷
Lola Lovinfosse 🇫🇷 - I wish Lola had more exposure! She has such potential... and really pretty too!
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