ahoy, ladies!

Chapter 13: come back to me, baby, I'll come back to you

There’s a hollow sort of ringing in his chest, like something significant is missing. He may be sober this time, but he knows this feeling, knows this pain. He swallows, keeps his eyes squeezed closed, fights to maintain his composure. But it’s hard to do when he knows, no matter how hard he tries to ignore it, that everything is slipping through his fingers again.

He can’t stop thinking about the look on Robb’s face. The anger in his eyes. The shortness of Theon’s tone. How both of them had stormed out of the trailer without even a backwards glance. Leaving him behind, again.

Dany looks up, surprised, when he walks in the door. “You’re home early,” she says, her brow furrowed. But then she seems to catch sight of his face, and her expression shifts. “Jon, what’s wrong?”

“I think it’s done,” he says, his voice hoarse.

Anon I'm not gonna lie, I haven't really touched it since I posted the last chapter, but this ask inspired me to go back and reread big chunks of the story and then I cranked out 2k in an hour before dinner :) so here's a nice long sneak peek for you!! Thanks for being patient and sticking with the story!!

Rhaella’s place is adorable, a charming bungalow tucked amongst the sea grass and a beautiful sprawling garden, up on the bluffs with a view of the sea. She’s waiting on the front porch when Jon gets out of the car, her smile wider than Jon’s ever seen it as Ella fights her way out of her carseat, slipping past his hands before he can even fully pull her buckle back. 

“Gran!” she shrieks, and Rhaella scoops her up in her arms, twirling her around as Ella giggles. “I missed you!” 

“Not as much as I missed you,” Rhaella insists, peppering her face with kisses. She turns to Dany and Jon as well, Ella secure in her arms. “You really wanted to deprive me of this, Dany?” 

“Gods above, Mum, we didn’t book a hotel,” Dany says with a laugh. She gives her mother a hug and a kiss on the cheek around Ella, who is latched to her grandmother like a barnacle. “Thank you for letting us stay with you.” 

“Aye, thank you, Rhaella,” Jon echoes. His hands are full with all their bags, but he nods at her gratefully, and her smile at him is warm, like he remembers they used to be. “We really appreciate it.” 

“Don’t mention it,” she says, ushering them inside. “I’m glad to have you here.” 

Rhaella shows them around her new place, then they walk down the steep path at the end of her street to the beach, Ella racing after the gulls and screaming with glee as the three adults watch on. Rhaella smiles, nudging Dany. “She’s just like you when you were younger,” she says. Ella races up to the water’s edge, then backs up, shrieking, as the waves crash on the shore, chasing her back. Her blonde curls whip in the chilly sea air, and Jon smiles, his heart squeezing with affection. 

“I thought we could go to dinner at that restaurant in town you like,” Rhaella says to Dany. She nods, eyes on Ella still. Jon watches her observantly, noting the way her arms cross, the slight tension in her shoulders. He knows being back here brings up mixed feelings for her, and he’s determined to stand steadfastly by her side all weekend, protect her from the demons of her past best he can. 

And if it distracts him from thinking of his own problems as well— well, that’s just a bonus. 

“Just us four?” Dany asks, and her voice might sound neutral to the average person, but Jon can see how carefully she’s holding herself. 

“Rhaegar wanted to come too, if that’s alright,” Rhaella says. “Elia has some friends that came in early for the shower as well, and he didn’t want to intrude on their girls’ night.” She pauses. “I thought it might be nice for you to see just him before— the circus tomorrow.”

Dany laughs, humorlessly. “Yeah, probably.” 

“Gran!” Ella calls, turning back to the three of them. “There are so many shells!” 

Rhaella picks her way across the sand towards Ella, before the two of them hunch over the shoreline together, examining the different shells that the surf has washed up. Jon looks down at Dany next to him, her arms still crossed defensively and her jaw just a bit too tight. “You alright?” he murmurs again, and she sighs, looking up at him. Her eyes are cloudy, the mix of emotions there displaying her inner turmoil. 

“Yeah,” she says, and she goes willingly when he tugs her into his arms, resting against his chest. He presses a kiss to her crown, wishing he could will away all the bad memories and pain from her past, but knowing there’s not much he can do other than hold her. “Thanks for coming with me to this shitshow.” 

He just squeezes her tighter. “Of course,” he says. “And if you want to escape, just let me know. I’ll keep the car running.” 

She laughs, tucking her head under his chin again. “Hopefully it doesn’t come to that, but you never know with Viserys and my father.” 

They’re silent for a few minutes, just watching Ella and her grandmother examine different shells. “How are you doing?” she murmurs a moment later, before turning to look at him. “Have you— spoken to them at all?” 

Jon sighs. “No. Neither of them have said anything to me.”

Dany’s quiet for a moment. “You haven’t reached out to them?” she asks, and Jon sighs. 

“I’m not apologizing to them for this,” he insists. “I don’t need their permission to go to my daughter, and it’s fucking ridiculous they’re acting like I do.” Dany falls quiet again, her head still tucked against his chest, but he can tell she has something else to say. “What, Dany?” he asks, trying to keep the exasperation out of his tone. 

“I don’t think you have to apologize for that either,” she agrees. “I just think— Jon, it kills me to think of you losing them again.” 

He sighs. It kills him too, and it’s been slowly eating away at him, no matter how much he tries to ignore it, insist to himself it’ll blow over, and Robb will call, and everything will be fine. “If he wants to talk, I’ll talk,” Jon says. “And if he wants to apologize, I’ll listen. I don’t want to lose them either. But I’m not backing down on this. Ella comes first.” 

Chapter 12: see me in the mirror, nothing ever changes

“What about that line in Only Human?” he says. “‘Where happiness begins?’” 

Jon blinks at Theon as it washes over him. “I dunno, to me the album is a comeback, but it’s also a fresh start,” Theon says. “Finding the joy in all this again. Doing it because we love it this time, and music makes us happy.” He shrugs. “Happiness beginning.” 

“I really like that,” Robb says. “Happiness Begins. It sounds like a promise of what’s to come, not just a comeback. Something we’ve worked to make even better than it was before.” He looks to Jon. “What do you think, Jon?” 

Jon nods slowly. “Aye, I like it. It sounds hopeful. It fits.” 

Theon grins. “I think we’ve got an album title, boys.”