steviemicks

Has anyone else noticed the world slightly warping? I feel like visually everything around me is just at a slightly different length or angle these days. Or is it just the CIA trying to kill me by making me kill myself?

I have a particular set of skills. Some of those skills involve making grown, 33 year old, Turkish men sexually attracted to garden gnomes. I’m doing God’s work and as it turns out; he’s pretty sick and twisted.

The truth is that we are a planet of losers. We all suck. We’re all fucking weird.

If you come to London; don’t pay to see a west end show- get a curry and sit in the street; you’ll see all kinds of entertainment

Acne? That’s cool, just pretend you did it on purpose

I want to be as cool as the guy who doesn’t care when his ice cream drips over his hand and on to his shirt

Winston Churchill had swag but he was too vanilla for his own good. Chur-CHILL bro.

Blabididee blabididaa blabididoodaa 👍

Not having to give your money to the government makes having a job make more sense.

Earth is the cheapest planet to live on; the only problem is that it has governments.