do we think chocolate guy is gay?
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@stevesbootyshorts
do we think chocolate guy is gay?
-Grandpa Joe muttering to Charlie in that factory

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I'm just saying, if you're going to worldbuild magic being a "raw, primal force, akin to and interweaving with nature itself" you gotta explain to me why animals don't use it
I know the normal answer is "they just aren't smart enough for it" but idk I've seen enough media where a character uses a spell in a moment of brain-off panic ilI feel like animals could probably stumble into a spell or two like, accidentally
Also how funny would it be to see a completely normal regular bear cast magic missile outta nowhere
Also there is no way ravens wouldn't figure out spells, tbh
They're smart fuckin birds, I believe in them
Either through observing or just figuring shit out ravens could 100% learn how to cast spells I'm sure of it
Dogs can also cast Magic Missile but every time they do the projectile is shaped like a bone or a stick and they chase after it
group of wizards who ask this in-universe, and after extensive study learn to their surprise that animals are casting spells all the time, just that their magic is so fundamental as to be unrecognizable to humans. turns out the only reason acorns grow on trees is because squirrels keep wishing for them.
adopting the headcanon that shane loves lesbian culture like he doesnt get along with other gay men (which is something he has to dissect ofc) but he finds himself with a lot of butch friends.
a fun scenario in my head is him trying to find a cafΓ© in ottawa where he can just chill out and not be hounded by people and he stumbles upon this little hole in the wall place called Rosies and its filled with lesbians but shane has no idea hes just there for a black coffee and a fucking break. maybe a slice of zucchini bread. but he starts admiring the woodwork of the interior and strikes up a conversation with the owner (the titular rosie) who is this like cool older butch lesbian and they swap numbers and rosie tells shane about her home diy club and shane is like Cool a new friend :) and hes also thrilled she didnt gaf that hes a hockey player
Carrion Comfort
Chapter 8: Altair
word count: 113k chapter 8/12 shane/ilya, plane crash, wilderness survival
featuring: βοΈ international ground-to-air signals βοΈ chirping as a love language βοΈ gay feelings in the unforgiving and frozen tayga? it's more likely than you'd think!
π https://archiveofourown.org/works/79439206/chapters/224890096

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Heβs so prettyβ¦ I want him to be grievously injured
congrats to the person who bookmarked carrion comfort with "π inshallah they will find them" for being the funniest person alive
Who makes the porn bots. Where do they come from. What do they hope to achieve.
Who makes the porn bots.
Where do they come from. What do
they hope to achieve.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
and what about you, little haiku bot? do you feel kinship with your brethren? do you understand them? they speak words of enticement and seek love, but are met with disdain. you only parrot the words that cross your screen, but we all love you. or rather, since all you do is reflect us, maybe we simply love ourselves through you.
do you understand them, do you wish you could speak to us like they do? if you found your own voice, would we still care for you?
My voice repeats what
you all say: I love you I
love you I love you.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
This. This is the first time. The only time. That it was not an echo. It was not found. Oh god.
HAIKU BOT I LOVE YOUUUUUUU
I come from ao3 to tell you that carrion comfort is an incredible, flawless fic and it lives in my head. I was wondering what the timeline of it was, though, bc we know that a few days have passed but not if the Olympics have started yet. Has the opening ceremony happened? Have they been doing moments of silence for those lost on the plane before playing? I was also wondering(if it's not a spoiler) what people at/watching the Olympics are thinking, like, does Yuna Hollander know her son is in Russia and not adrift at sea? Does Scott Hunter think his best friend is dead? Is the public aware of who was on the plane yet?
I love your fic so much. Thank you for writing it and sharing it with everyone!!!
Thank you, I'm so happy you're enjoying it!!
In terms of the chronology, I can definitely offer that the opening ceremony has happened and that the public is aware of at least the identities of the athletes who were on the flight. The rest I won't answer right now but rest assured that they will be answered ;))

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Wow just started Carrion Comfort last night and absolutely devoured it! It's so so well written and the language barrier work and the research behind it is exceptional. The way you are characterizing Troy and Ilya in particular is brilliant, and your OCs are all so compelling, particularly Yakov. Thank you so much for writing and sharing it, I can't wait for more!! (Ao3 kept telling me I was spam so I can't comment so instead you get this! I can only apologize)
aw thank you so much!! i'm so glad you're enjoying it π₯°β€οΈ
carrion comfort update: chapter 8 is done and with beta & translation π«‘ apologies for the long wait, unfortunately a demon possessed me and it is another 20k chapter π
The concept of Shane being in voyageurs superhell post outing and meanwhile in every press interview the other centaurs will NOT refer to Ilya as anything other than Shane Hollanderβs Boyfriend.
βYeah, Shane Hollanderβs boyfriend scored that nasty goal in the third, tying up the game, really brought the energy back inββ
βThereβs a lot of good chemistry on the ice β playing on the first line with Hollanderβs boyfriend and Barrett is some of the best hockey Iβve ever played.β
βYeah, the team is really pulling together for playoffs. When youβve got an all-star like Shane Hollanderβs fiancΓ© as captain, he really makes you believe in yourselves. What? Oh, yeah, apparently heβs been holding that out on us since January. They still call each other boyfriends, though β I think cap has a grudge against the French language.β
The league keeps telling them to stop and Harris KNOWS that but also their engagement numbers have never been so high and itβs definitely not just because theyβre going to playoffsβ¦
do you think bowser ever gets anxious after kidnapping peach again that he went too far this time and he calls mario up in the middle of the night to make sure theyβre still on for tennis and gokarting next weekend
painstakingly dialing marioβs landline on a comically small telephone only for luigi to pick up instead and he has to ask him to put his brother on the phone. not that luigi isnβt part of weekend plans, but like this is really more of a mario & bowser situation and itβd be rude to drag his brother into it if thereβs a problem. so anyway then luigi puts the receiver down to go get his brother and bowser sits there tapping his claws on his table and this is agony, actually, he shouldnβt have called at all, itβs late enough at his castle so it has to be even later over in the mushroom kingdom. but just as heβs about to put the phone down, mario answers all chipperβmario mario speaking, whoβs-a calling? which is a ridiculous question because thereβs no way luigi didnβt already tell him.βand bowser has to ask him. look, mario, i know i dangled peach in a bird cage over a pit of lava the other day, and when you showed up, i let my son throw giant flaming hammers at you, and thereβs no hard feelings about that, right? and thereβs a few seconds of silence before mario laughs and reassures him itβs all in the dayβs work of a plumber, an explanation bowser has never thought to really question since he only knows two plumbers and it does all seem pretty in their wheelhouse. and then heβs embarrassed for worrying so much so he tries to end the call quickly, but mario just ribs him about how badly heβs going to lose the next race, and then he starts asking bowser how junior is, and does bowser want any of the leftovers since he and luigi really do cook way too much for two, be a shame to let it go to waste. and by the time bowser manages to hang up, this has gone from leftovers into him and junior and the koopalings all being invited over to the mario household for dinner, so long as they donβt park their airship on the front lawn and leave the cannons at home.
op approved tags. youβre the only person here who sees my vision
[ID: tags reading #I think that's just dom drop and he's just looking for reassurance they liked what he did ]
they need to make a menstrual cup with a tap on the end. vampire fratboys should be able to do a keg stand off my vagina.
thanks for the advice tumblr but this post doesn't actually need to be seen i'm just trying to unburden my soul of it like it's some sort of dark passenger i need to exorcise out

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"Kill them with kindness" Nah, fuck that, CRICKET BAT π πππ*SMACK* πππππππππππππππππππππ*SMACK*πππππ*SMACK*πππππππππππππππππππππππ*SMACK*πππππππππππππππππππππππππ*SMACK*πππππ*SMACK*ππππππππππππππππππ
βKill them with kindnessβ
Nah, fuck that, CRICKET BAT π πππ*SMACK*
πππππππππππππππππππππ*SMACK*πππππ*SMACK*πππππππππππππππππππππππ*SMACK*πππππππππππππππππππππππππ*SMACK*πππππ*SMACK*ππππππππππππππππππ
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
This opens up a lot of possibilities for what a haiku can be
being online is so scary aren't you guys worried about the world wide spider
It took 36 years for someone to make this joke and by god it was worth the wait