something white people (and nonblack people of colour) need to know is that if your friend of colour comes up to you to tell you that you were being racist in some way or another, that is an act of trust.
to elaborate: if they dont trust you to react well to criticism about your behaviour, they wont say fucking shit to you. theyll just silently absorb it until they cant take it anymore. do you know just how many microaggressions and casual acts of racism are tolerated every day by the poc around you? probably not!
your friend saying "hey that was kinda racist :/" is you being given a chance to apologize to them and do better, rather than you getting relegated to being Yet Another Source Of Pain.
also to the white people in the tags: Trust is something you earn, not something you're entitled to. you can say what you'd do in a hypotehtical scenario where you've been called out but that means nothing. Everyone acts different in the moment.
You need to build that trust day by day through your actions. You need to put less of your self worth in being morally perfect 100% of the time (because you aren't, nobody is). And most importantly, you need to learn to recognize those microagressions yourself and not expect the black folks and poc around you to be your personal educators. THAT is how you earn that trust.
