humor goes here

Relatable

Rip cuddles, you will be missed

Me: *screaming in horror and pain*

I went to jail a few times got bailed a few times by my friend (he who shall not be mentioned again) got tired of jail so I decided to go to prison by stealing a support brick from a grocery store (I came back and took a few more. (the store collapsed, happily)) broke out of prison, commited fraud, got a computer (that's how I posted my latest post) smashed the computer. Let me tell you rubber does not taste good. Got a laptop, hacked into the government, sold classified intelligence to Russia and China. (Rip door, you will be missed) killed an fbi officer, sadly didn't have a gun so I had to use my fists. Jumped put a 2nd story window with a laptop, ran down the street got run over twice, of course I lived and had only a single bruise on my forehead (my knees were also broken but do you think I care?) Crawled into the sewer. There was a weird clown trying lure a kid down into the sewer further down the pipe but I gnawed off his ankles and we decided to team up to take down the government, of course I betrayed him after my knees healed up. Then I went to the nearest technology store and jumped through the front window grabbed a phone (more tore a phone off of a display thing) made a call to a guy in ohklahoma to pick me up, he picked me up and we had an excellent trip (there were a few more reasons it was excellent) I got to ohklahoma (I think you can guess what I did there (you'll see in a few weeks)) beat up a random guy ran down to Texas and then ran down to California where I somehow convinced the guy who owns the place to leave America, it should be on the news but for some reason no one cares. Ran up to the north where I am now and ate a book to obtain it's knowledge but all I got was severe disease. Ate glass, kinda forgot why I did that. Then beat a guy with the part of the glass I didn't eat then right after broke into another technology store and burned it down after I got another phone and that's my story so far

I can breath