Systems are not random.
The traits your alters have are not randomly assigned or drawn out of a hat.
Even self-chosen traits have reasons behind them. We aren’t just rolling dice to decide who we are.
Fears and phobias didn’t come from thin air and persecutors aren’t being harmful because they are inherently evil.
Just like every person is shaped by their life experience, every system is shaped by their life experience.
Understanding why your system is the way it is can help all of you have more compassion for each other.
Without understanding we tend to see people’s behavior as just a function of who they are and be less forgiving when they make mistakes. E.g. “Well they are just evil. That’s what they do. They’re always hurting people. I can’t forgive them. ”
With understanding we tend to see people’s behavior as a function of circumstances and we tend to be more forgiving and understanding when they make mistakes. E.g. “I can see how that situation triggered their protective instincts and caused them to lash out. The way they handled it wasn’t okay, but they were reacting from a place of trauma and I will be patient with them while they work on this.”
It is okay to not know why your system is the way that it is.
It’s okay to not know why a persecutor is so angry, or why each alter formed.
It’s okay to feel that your system isn’t ready to start exploring these things.
Being dissociated means that many of these things are hidden from you, and maybe they are hidden from you for good reason. It could take years for you to feel okay about exploring these things and you will probably need a therapist to guide you through it.
It’s okay to not know.
But I don’t think it’s okay to say that it’s just random and that there is no meaning.
I know that I am not random.
