mimi

matt's pov:

my head is throbbing, my eye won’t stop twitching, and i’ve never wanted to murder my brothers more than i do right now. they dragged me out to a party that i never wanted to come to, and then basically abandoned me the second we arrived. 

i’m standing in a dark corner, watching as chris flirts with his current talking stage and nick plays beer pong. a few people approach me, trying to make small talk, but i’m not feeling it. so i just make an excuse to walk away and find a new lonely corner to sulk in. after an hour or so of moping and dodging conversation, i decide enough is enough. i walk over to chris and grab his arm, dragging him away from the girl he was shooting his shot with. “the hell, matt?” he yanks his arm out of my grip. “i was in the middle of something, man.” “yeah, i don’t care.” i reply, rolling my eyes. “we’ve been here for hours, you’ve had your fun, so can we please leave?” “jesus christ,” chris mutters under his breath, like that question was personally offensive. “no way, matt. me and nick are still having fun.” “okay, good for you. i’m not.” i say, growing irritated. chris huffs and opens his mouth, probably to say something snarky, when nick appears. “what’s going on?” our older brother asks. “matt’s being a total party pooper. he wants to leave already.” chris says before i have the chance to speak up. i chuckle dryly. “okay, y’know what? i’m sorry i don’t like parties. i didn’t realize having social anxiety made me a party pooper. you guys can get an uber home, but i’m leaving.” i turn and walk away before either of them can say anything else. i leave the house and slam the door behind me, drawing a few curious glances from the people scattered around the front porch, but i don’t care. i get in my car and drive around. i hate parties, hate large groups of people, but i also hate being lonely so i’m not in any rush to head back to our empty house. i pull into a random parking lot and turn off the car. i take a few calming breaths and close my eyes, leaning my head back against the headrest. i feel myself slowly relaxing, my tense muscles starting to loosen. when i open my eyes, i see that i’m parked in front of an animal shelter. there’s a large sign on the front of the building that reads “cat cuddling program” — i squint so i can read the details. “come socialize with our feline friends! play with them, groom them, love them. help reduce their stress so they will be prepared for adoption!” i’m climbing out of my car before i even realize what i’m doing. but i don’t do anything to stop myself when my brain finally catches up to my limbs. when i step inside, i can hear dogs barking and cats meowing, and it instantly puts a small smile on my face. i have always liked animals more than i like most human beings. the woman at the desk has her back turned as she fills out paperwork on a clipboard, but when she hears the bell above the door chime, she spins on her heel and grins. and my heart skips a fucking beat. like, for real. it actually stops for a second. and it’s not because of the beautiful st. bernard i see sitting at her feet behind the counter. well, maybe it’s partially because of that, since i love big dogs, but it’s mostly because she’s the most stunning woman i’ve ever seen in my life. “hi!” she says cheerfully. “welcome to second chance shelter! i’m hope. how can i help you today, sir?” “oh, uh.. i’m matt..” i flounder for a second. “i saw the sign on the window. the, um, cat cuddling program?” her eyes light up and her smile widens and my heart flutters. good lord, i need to get a grip.

“oh, yay! are you interested in playing with our cats?” she asks. “some of those babies are so timid and scared, so we’re just trying to socialize them a bit so they’ll be comfortable during the adoption process.” timid and scared? that sounds a lot like me. but i don’t say that. “yeah, absolutely. i love animals, especially cats, so i’d love to.” she claps once. “okay, so, usually you have to go through an orientation before you meet the animals, but we haven’t had many volunteers recently and we really need to socialize these cats. so if you’d be willing to fill out some paperwork, i can go ahead and take you back to see the kitties now?” i nod, a grin forming on my lips. “that would be great. thank you so much.” i watch as she gathers a few papers and sticks them onto a clipboard. she hands it to me along with a pen, our fingers brushing as i take it from her. i mentally curse at myself as i feel my cheeks flush. “no, thank you. seriously.” she says earnestly. “i love these cats so much and really want to help them find a good home, and like i said, we haven’t gotten many volunteers for this program so i’m very excited that you stopped in today.” “yeah, i’m excited too.” “i’m so glad.” she gestures to a small waiting area with a few chairs and a table that’s scattered with magazines. “you can sit over there to fill out the paperwork if you’d like, and then just come see me again once you’re finished.” i sit down in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs and quickly fill out the paperwork. i’ve wanted a pet for ages but my brothers, mostly chris, refuse to let me bring one into the house. so my body is buzzing with excited jitters as i wait to play with those cats. i check, and then double check, my paperwork before taking it back up to the desk. “all done?” she asks with a radiant smile. i pass her the clipboard. “mhm, all finished.” she skims over the pages, humming softly to herself. “perfect, that’s everything we need. you ready to meet some cats?” i rock back and forth on my heels. “oh, hell yeah. born ready.” she giggles and gestures for me to follow her. we head down a long hallway. i can hear the meows and barks getting even louder now. she opens a door and i follow her inside. i break into a grin. there’s cats, both big and small, everywhere. some are sitting on top of cat trees, some are playing with balls of yarn, but my eyes instantly lock onto one cat in particular. it's big, fluffy, white and gray. it’s cowering in the corner of the room, reminding me of how i must’ve kinda looked at the party. hope follows my stare and her smile dims, just a bit. “that’s cooper. he’s the sweetest boy, but he’s also our most nervous cat. he was abused and so, so malnourished when we first got him. he’s healthier now, but still pretty anxious around new people.” she slowly walks over to the cat and lets him sniff her hand. he bumps his head against her hand and lets her pet him. she turns to look at me. “c’mere. do exactly what i did. walk slowly, let him sniff you. he’ll come around.” i do as she said. i step forward slowly, slowly, slowly and then kneel down next to her. i start to reach my hand out, and the cat shrinks away so i pause. i give him a moment to relax before moving toward him again. finally, after a quiet moment, he sniffs me. he bumps his head into my hand, like he did with hope.

but then he suddenly moves closer and plops down on the floor right in front of me, rolling onto his back.

i hear hope giggle, but i still don’t look away from cooper. “he wants belly rubs.” she says. “he trusts you. that was fast.”

i laugh, feeling a little breathless, and start petting his soft belly. he starts to purr and swats at the bracelet dangling from my wrist.

“he’s so content.” i hear hope say. “he’s not usually like this. not even with me and i’ve been taking care of him every day for a few months now.”

i can’t help it. i feel tears stinging the back of my eyes. the stress of the day, fighting with my brothers, knowing they’re probably still pissed at me, and then hearing about cooper’s history was all just too much. i clear my throat and blink quickly, refusing to let a single tear fall in front of hope. “i’m pretty awkward and timid around new people too, cooper. we’re the same, you and me. but we’re gonna be okay, buddy.”

i look over at hope, hoping she doesn’t think i’m weird for talking to the cat, who definitely doesn’t understand what i’m saying to him, but she’s still just smiling. a brilliant, dazzling smile that makes my entire body feel warm. i turn back to the cat before i do something stupid like ask for her number, or tell her how breathtaking she is.

she starts playing with the other cats, but i can’t force myself to move away from cooper. he’s so soft, seems so peaceful nuzzled up against my legs as i pet him. i don’t want to ruin that for him, or for myself. i feel just as serene as he seems to.  eventually he falls asleep. i slowly pull myself away from him and stand. i turn to hope with a sheepish smile. “i should probably get going. it’s late. but thank you so much for letting me come in without the orientation thing. i hope you don’t get in trouble.”

she waves her hand, swatting away my concern. “oh, yeah, don’t worry about me. my aunt and uncle own this place. and, trust me, they’ll just be happy that someone came in to play with these cuties. or, well, i guess just cooper since he hogged you the whole time.”

i grin, turning back to look at the big sleepy cat one last time as she leads me out of the room and back toward the front of the building. “i liked being hogged by him. he was really cute.” she goes back to her spot behind the counter. “i’m still so surprised that he warmed up to you so quickly. it made my heart happy.”

i tap my fingers against the the desk. “yeah.. mine too. so, like, it’s okay if i come back, right? like.. often?” i ask. “you liked cooper that much, huh?” i want to tell her that yes, i do like cooper, but he’s not the only one i want to come back for. i wanna come back to see her pretty smile too. but i keep that to myself. “yeah, i do. i definitely wanna see him again.”

i watch her hesitate for a second before she grabs a sticky note and writes something down. she slides it across the desk toward me. “that’s my phone number. so if you ever wanna call to check on coop, you can. but i’m here every day, so.. i really hope you stop by again.”

i stare down at the phone number for a second before turning my attention back to her face. she looks so bashful, it’s cute. “yeah. yeah, i’ll be back, for sure.” i slowly start to back away. “thank you for everything.”