INTER / STELLAR

    impulsive, more so than anyone he ever encountered, incredibly thoughtless (he isn’t any better with all his alternative contingencies). perhaps it’s age, there’s over a decade separating them, which he acknowledges offhandedly. they beg and they need and they’re merely a creature of instinct who knows what they wants, when they wants it. junghwa would be alarmed if he didn’t know better, if he hadn’t seen it before, reflected on the faces he turns down. numerous times over. he’s learned to select better: what to avoid, who to avoid.  

    somewhere in between signing off on improvements to infrastructure because he still has a job to do and he’s never off the clock even if he’s away from the glow of a computer and replying to their texts, he’s on his way to b1. it’s a friday night and the club is packed, locals and foreigners alike spilling out onto the streets. (nevermind. i'll meet you outside). it’s all instant gratification and it doesn’t matter in the long-run how draining they can be, they’re never around each other long enough to share pleasantries. they don’t care how. junghwa’s day went and junghwa doesn’t care about theirs.

    he does not give them more than calculating disdain, scorn, something passively aggressive and convert aggressive all at once — never kind, neither expects that. but it’s alongside the kind of forward attentiveness he hasn’t given to anything or anyone other than his work and self-accomplishments in years.

    there’s rules, some unspoken, one straightforward, but rules nevertheless. he should end this. he won’t. not when he checks and rechecks his phone, re-reading through messages to see where he had went ‘wrong’, finger dragging the screen up, then down. trying to see where he let too much bleed over. they don’t talk about it, can’t talk about it.

(bold all that applies. italicize leaning. strike former)

WEALTH  —

$   financial.  //  wealthy  / moderate / poor /  in poverty ✚  medical.  //  fit  /  moderate  /  unfit  /  sickly /  disadvantaged  /  disabled  /  not applicable ✪  class.  //  upper  / middle-working /  poor  /  slave  /  unsure ✔  higher education.  // qualified /  unqualified  / studying /  other  /  none ✖  criminal record.  //  yes, for major crimes  / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but has not been caught yet

FAMILY  —

◒  children.  // has one or more children / has no children / wants children ◑  relationship with family.  // close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no sibling(s) / siblings are deceased ◔  affiliation.  //   orphaned  /  adopted  / disowned (runaway) / raised by birth parent(s) /  not applicable

TRAITS  +  TENDENCIES  —

♦  extrovert //  introvert  // in between ♦  disorganized //  organized  // in between ♦  close-minded  //  open-minded //  in between ♦  calm // anxious // in between ♦  disagreeable //  agreeable  // in between ♦  cautious // reckless // in between ♦  patient //  impatient  // in between ♦  outspoken //  reserved  //  in between ♦  leader //  follower  // in between ♦  empathetic  //  indifferent  // in between ♦  optimistic //  pessimistic  // in between ♦  traditional  // modern  // in between ♦  hardworking //  lazy  // in between ♦  cultured  //  uncultured  // in between ♦  loyal  //  disloyal  // in between ♦  faithful // unfaithful  // in between

BELIEFS  —

★  faith.  //  monotheist  / polytheist  / atheist  / agnostic / it’s complicated / N/A ☆  belief in ghosts or spirits.  // yes /  no / don’t know / don’t care ✮  belief in an afterlife.  //  yes  / no  /  don’t know / don’t care / it’s complicated ✯  belief in reincarnation.  // yes  /  no  /   don’t know  / don’t care / it’s complicated ❃  belief in aliens.  // yes  / no  /  don’t know / don’t care ❀  philosophical.  //  yes  / no  /  sometimes

SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION  —

♦  sexuality.  /  heterosexual  /  homosexual  / bisexual /  asexual  / pansexual /  demisexual / questioning ❥  sex.  //  sex repulsed  / sex neutral / sex favorable ♥  romance.  //  romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable ❣  sexually.  / / adventurous  /  experienced /  naive  /  inexperienced  /  curious  /  inhibited ⚧  potential sexual partners.  //  male / female /  other  /  none  / all ⚧  potential romantic partners.  //  male  /  female /  other  /  none  / all

ABILITIES  —

☠  combat skills.  //  excellent  / good  / moderate /  poor  / none ≡  literacy skills.  // excellent  /  good  /  moderate /  poor  /  none ✍  artistic skills.  //  excellent  /  good /  moderate  / poor /  none ✂  technical skills.  // excellent  / good  /  moderate /  poor  /  none

HABITS  —

❣ drinking alcohol.  //  never  / sometimes / frequently /  to excess ✖ smoking.  //  never /  sometimes  /  frequently  / to excess ✿ other narcotics.  //  never  /  sometimes /  frequently  /  to excess ≡ medicinal drugs.  //  never  /  sometimes  /  frequently  / to excess ☻ indulgent in food.  // never /  sometimes /  frequently  / to excess $  splurge spending.  // never / sometimes  /  frequently  /  to excess ♣  gambling.  // never  /  sometimes /  frequently  /  to excess

( sms // ksoo ) You’re the local, you tell me. ( sms // ksoo ) Your cns probably just adapted to your old prescription. I’ll think of a new combination for you after we talk tomorrow. Mixtures usually work better and for longer periods of time. ( sms // ksoo ) and we’re gonna talk about that attitude when we meet up tomorrow too.

“Good,” Proxy smiled brightly, unlocking the wheels of his chair so that he can start rolling towards the exit, “I think we have a lot to talk about! Man, I sure love catching up with old friends.” Those who knew the man well, however, could tell that his smile was tight, different from his usual easygoing demeanour. Too many thoughts were rolling through his mind as he waited for the other to catch up- it just didn’t seem real, in all aspects of the word. Then again, he never was quite in the moment either- he had died once, too, and it was simply a coincidence that there seemed to be more with his unfortunate fate.

“Don’t look too freaked out, I’m in the same boat,” he dropped the comment, watching the other with interest. It was a subtle enough explanation to hint to the other as to why he was so invested, continuing to roll outside as he continued to think about all this. He pulled out the amulet around his neck, the pulsing circuits in sync with his heartbeat and contemplated it for a few moments, allowing all this to finally sink in.

It was enough deliberation and thinking for him, who was never quite fond of considering consequence, and he turned once more, hoping to see the other catch up.

skepticism lingers on the edge of his mind. it’s nagging, but painfully elusive, the way he attempts to re-establish his own defenses, re-establish his need to hold his own ground in unfamiliar territories. first instinct is silence (he was taught that well, avoid open-ended questions, avoid journalists out for their next ‘story’, avoid conspiracy theorists with a vendetta against the american government). second is to lie. he’s running out of time on both. it’s with a tight-lipped smile he steps backwards as if giving way for the stranger to pass him by. no one’s paying them any heed (paranoia says otherwise), there’s nothing here to bring about unwanted attention, yet he can’t fight through the uncomfortable feeling thick in his chest and head. if it had been any other time, if he had any been any other version of himself, he imagined he would have bolted. never fighting, always flight. gathers himself together in a way that he’s known for, methodologically and direct.

i’m in the same boat.

fill in the categories with 5 things that your character can be identified by. repost, do not reblog. tagged by:  — tagged: @viorithm, @spillseas, @petitemxrt, @eterneli, @opheliade, @manticxre, @theseelenine, @bezitramide, @vartouhix. 

emotions/feelings

1. enthralled. 2. sonder. 3. monachopsis. 4. exhaustion. 5. contempt.

greetings

1. vague politeness and obligated responses. 2. gives a closed-mouth smile, no teeth show, non-threatening. firm handshakes and respectable bows. 3. soft-tone, but hard-spoken, not incredibly talkative unless he needs to be. comes across condescending. but incredibly guiding. 4. yet known to deliver his opinions, a sense of superiority in his voice, advertently argumentative. 5. quick to make assumptions, quite judgmental of others before they even speak  — appearance, body language, all scrutinized under a passive glance.

colors

1. black #000000. 2. white #ffffff. 3. gold #dbb884. 4. clay #74929f. 5. sage #9dc138.

scents

1. citrus undertones. 2. hands covered in oil, exhaust fumes. petrol. rusted, mechanical undercurrent. 3. fried circuits and motherboards. 4. candles, linens, borderline artificial. 5. cheap cologne of strangers.

clothing

1. olive green bomber jackets. 2. fitted sweaters — in gray, white, black. 3. belts, no accessories other than a silver ring, dark-framed glasses. 4. button down dress shirts, sleeves rolled up to the forearms, tucked in. name brands. 5. khakis, washed out and plain jeans, nothing remarkable. plain.

objects

1. polished air force academy ring, garnet stone centered in gold, the graduation year scratched off. not his. 2. expired prescription pills in unopened orange tubes  — paxil, clonidine, lining a single shelf in his medicine cabinet. 3. hermes briefcase. 4. certificates of achievements, certificates of acknowledgments, retired proclamations, diplomas, papers published in scientific journals, multiple patents. 5. nicotine patches.

vices/bad habits

1. aged alcohol on ice, glass after glass. blurred memories, handling the consequences after the fact, loose tongue. emotional meltdown. craves and wants. 2. temperamental, explosive, on edge  — prone to damaging. 3. blunt, known for disagreements and lying, lie after, after lie. convinced half-truths, living in formulated fantasies. 4. unforgiving, bitter and jealous, terribly jealous. 5. seclusion and recluse, always prepared to replace and forget others.

body language

1. standing up-straight, shoulders back and head forward, constantly looking people in the eyes — opened confidence and matching gestures. attentive, focus. paying heed to minor details and categorizing them, placing labels on strangers. 2. head tilted to one side, inquisitive gesture. 3. sits with his legs crossed at the ankles. 4. controlled gestures, thinking before moving, calculating space around him, never completely at ease. 5. tensed shoulders, on guard, even when alone.

aesthetics

1. cheap, unsettling motels. humidity plagued rooms, pay by the hour rates. flickering television screens with static, no sound, muted pictures on bare skin and uncomfortable bed-sheets that leave behind scratches. 2. dust storms, hot, desert wastelands, deserted worlds, fallout, sand grinding and crunching under boots. 3. lithium hydroxine, purification systems, chemical reactions, salts, soaps to wash away reminders. 4. analytic thinking, formulas and equations, marker stains on the end of tired fingertips, rewriting, proving theories. migraines, wide-eyed awakeness. 5. flight and weightlessness, zero gravity, suspension in nothing. fear of falling. fear of failing.

songs

( sms // ksoo ) 2.64g each. ( sms // ksoo ) you know i’m gonna do it regardless of what you say. ( sms // ksoo ) the only study that apparently ‘proved’ a combination of l-lysine and l-arginine significantly reduced trait and stress-induced state anxiety and basal levels of stress hormones wasn’t a double-blind study, did not involve the use of a placebo as a control, lasted only a week, and included only a hundred and eight test candidates from a single ethnicity.  ( sms // ksoo ) I don’t need to explain to you why that ‘study’ didn’t prove jack shit. ( sms // ksoo ) I’m not saying a healthy diet and dietary supplements by extension aren’t good for you. I’m not saying they won’t help. I’m saying they’re not a realistic alternative to actual medical-grade drugs that have been designed and produced for the sole purpose of treating a particular illness.  ( sms // ksoo ) But since you wanna be a headass and not listen to what I have to say, do whatever you want. ( sms // ksoo ) I’ll be in Seoul by tomorrow night. Let’s meet up for dinner.

—  erik satie / gymnopédie no. 1. —  frank sinatra / fly me to the moon. — SG 워너비 / as i live. — etta james / i rather go blind. — frédéric chopin / nocturne no. 2 In e-flat major, op. 9.  — fly to the sky / trust.  — frank ocean / bad religion.  — sade / no ordinary love.  — arvo pärt / fratres (1989 version). — erykah badu / on & on.