—or, you and Darling really fucked up [on] this one, huh? Look what you did. That kid has issues.
Ultimately, though, how did Trench feel about turning a ten-year-old kid into a lab rat/test subject?
Short answer, not great. Definitely not his finest moment and hindsight truly is 20/20, isn't it.
Long answer, it's extremely complicated.
Trench has done a lot of things that he is proud of and a lot of things that he certainly isn't proud of, especially when being able to look back on it all with full clarity and presence of mind. He can't blame all of what happened with Dylan on the corrupting resonance echoing in his brain but it certainly didn't give him the opportunity down the line to try and reconsider a better option than eh, just lock him away where he can't hurt anyone. Dylan's eventual situation had taken a backseat to this cold war between Trench and Darling, the battle by proxy of these two antagonistic resonances.
This is one of the things that Trench has accepted as a necessary evil. Add it to the list of things his soul would burn for in death. He gets that. But by the time of the Ordinary AWE, he has long begun the process of trying to cut out the parts of his soul that get in the way of doing his job. He also never fully processed the grief of losing his daughter, nor that of his wife leaving him and the crushing guilt that came with knowing that taking work home is what resulted in his daughter's death. That spiralled him down a very depressive path, one wrought with unhealthy avoidance methods and self-destructive tendencies.
The Bureau over everything else. Over himself and whatever personal feelings he's got. Over the life of a single kid. After losing Susanna and Kate, his whole world, it was all he had left, and as Director, it was his job to protect those under his command and make sure the Bureau continued to function. If that meant turning a kid into a research subject, so be it.
It didn't mean the decision wasn't difficult. (Before Slidescape-36, Trench's problem was that he cared about his work and about other people above himself and was already all-too-willing to throw himself into harm's way. That care would've extended to Dylan and Jesse too, especially after the ordeal they'd just experienced.) That knowing what was potentially in this kid's future wouldn't haunt him down the line. Trench took no pleasure in essentially destroying the life of this young kid—The Bureau was no place for children (it had already killed one) and Trench knew he couldn't/wouldn't allow himself to get attached. Remain distant. Operational. Leave it to Darling, who was enthused by the prospect, and be involved only when necessary (which, he was involved in some capacity); part of him also couldn't bear reliving another Susanna incident.
He knew exactly what was in store for Dylan. The Prime Candidate Programme was in part his brainchild, after all. After discovering the potential of his abilities, he knew he had to make the choice that would ensure that Dylan never had a normal life again. He'd be honed, trained, moulded into the successor that the Bureau would need, and it would be tough, yes, but necessary. He'll learn. One day the kid would understand. It'd work out in the end.
In the beginning, despite his best efforts, it was hard fully separating himself from Dylan, the kid, and Dylan, the research subject/P6. After the FBC arrived in Ordinary to contain the situation, he was on-site and involved himself personally with trying to wrangle Dylan and make taking him back to the Oldest House feel less like a kidnapping and more like a chance to help. Look after him, try to help find his sister, all that. He felt for him.
He'd make appearances from time-to-time, check in on progress. Listen every now and again. (I'm pretty sure I remember Dylan singling out both Trench and Darling specifically during his bouts of rage but even if not I can't imagine Trench isn't checking up on the first viable candidate out of the seven they'd identified to-date.) But as the years went on, as the Hiss wormed its way in and as Dylan reached teenage years and everything that came with that, it became much, much easier. The more Dylan acted out, used his abilities, became violent, the easier it was to distance, to see him less as a human, as a traumatised teenager who was reacting to the hell he was forced into, and more as a thing, a dangerous thing that was becoming more difficult to control and would have to be dealt with accordingly, like all the other dangerous things under the Bureau's control.
He compartmentalised by filing it under work in his mind. The Bureau needed this—they couldn't have another power vacuum like the one left by Northmoor's retirement and tomorrow was never guaranteed; not for the Director and especially not one who preferred to be as hands-on as he was and personally respond to a number of investigations—and things would work out, they had to.
Unfortunately, after the decision was made to lock him away, it was easy to forget that he was still there. Out of sight, out of mind. The battle by proxy was ramping up. Focus was elsewhere, focus was shifting. Dylan was a problem, Dylan's now contained—controlled. That's good. Deal with the other issues.
Would he do things differently regarding Dylan if he could? Absolutely.
@emilesmuseassembly — i am tagging you here because you asked about this one!
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