sarah

We are getting to the scary part. The part where the feelings start flooding in, and you want to ride it and throw yourself into free fall but there’s that tiny part of me which is terrified, and growing.

You said on some level, you’re scared of expectations not being met, you meeting mine or me meeting yours.

So you set boundaries to protect yourself, wanting to see me in different situations to see how we will be, and it feels like a test.

If I want it too I should be happy to go through your process. I do want you and I ultimately don’t mind but there’s something you should know;

When it comes to falling in love, I allow myself to completely and entirely immerse myself in the fall, unreserved, raw, vulnerable and become encapsulated by the person and the feeling.

For you, I know you feel it too but you’re perhaps more reasonable than I, so you let your past experiences reserve you from falling hard, like I do.

I have healed from what hurt me so I don’t need to put you through trials to build trust, I trust you.

Your reservations and need to build trust, build safety with me, feel to me like I’ve jumped out of the plane and you’re still double checking your parachute.

I’m looking up at you, and looking down at the world below, holding my breath, and hoping you jump soon so you can find me in the free fall and grab my hand.

When our hands touch I’ll feel the first breath of relief, the second when we pull the string and start floating, taking it all in, together.