CONSUMED BY LIGHT

i'm róan, 30+, mixed southwest american native & white

if we're writing together, it's arranged off-site

as a young person, 18-24, breaking into rich white people's places in puerto rico to have sex is something he has lots of fond memories of LOL he'd also probably sext via sms even when on missions so, on active deployment & while in hostile territory. has probably also gotten his dick out for dick pics in some pretty questionable places/times, various embassies and secret military bases.

There's an unusual face at the coffee corral when Beltway pulls up today, a petite-framed woman with shorter hair and a serious disposition. He gives a grunt of acknowledgement on approach and she steps aside amiably, scooting her thermos.

He reaches for the handle of the coffee pot, pausing when he hears an "Oh-! Um..." from her. He turns, "... Not done with it?"

Her focus seems split by something, she has to tear her gaze away to meet his eyes, "Oh no, it's not that. Do you know you're bleeding?"

"Okay, so, the important thing is that it's fixed now. It was touch-and-go, but I got there. You gotta admit, pretty impressive." Hector is clicking around the desktop of the lab computer, showing everything where it belongs. Hawk looks skeptical, "But you broke it in the first place. You and those junk programs you're always installing." Beltway cuts in, "Aht aht, but!" He raises a finger, his grin implacable. "I fixed it!"

I like to think of Hector and Carla as a balance of extremes. They both were fully formed and altered by the world before meeting one another; they both have committed grave acts of violence, killed in cold and hot blood, and find fixation on those true facts by others to get in the way of more important things they could be doing. To be simply a killer or destructive force is not enough, there is a dedication to perverse spectacle they both share.

I especially like how they initially interface, because it sets a very interesting stage for both of their development. Beltway is a smooth talker and flirt, but they don't meet each other in a bar; he pulls her molten body from a chrysalis in the midst of an abyss that was slowly plucking him to pieces. It matters to me that they meet not because he saw her and wants to impress or possess her, but because he is drawn to her, sight unseen. In a way, it's almost an expression of faith.

When you live with psychosis, telling reality from illusion is part of your day to day life. Responding to the call from within Chariot to find Carla, following the thread at the core of his delusions to pull her free was one of the most satisfying things I've ever gotten to play in a ttrpg game. Every time he sees her, it's a testament to the fact that his disposition, his quirks, his flaws all can help him do things no one else can do. The same impulsivity that led him to lose some of his limbs helped him save someone he sees as close to divine.

Once they start getting to know one another, there are some similarities that draw them together and help them avoid catastrophic emotional failures. They both understand the frustration and embarrassment of being subject to the will of others before they had the power to fight back against it, to be hurt and controlled by people who thought they would never pose a challenge. They've both been discarded by organizations and individuals who held power over them. They both cling to a spark of free will, to the ability to throw more mutually agreed upon rules away than anyone else in the equation, to sprint madly at the future.