Starting Over

Hey, honeybuns I know I been away! I keep doing this to y’all and I’m truly sorry. Life just been going and I been trying to keep up, but I’m about to kick start this story again because I miss my Dani and Chris- mostly JOSIAH though. Okay, I won’t like...I missed y’all as well. 

Danielle

“He did what!?” Liz exclaimed. A little after Chris left I invited Liz over to talk. I couldn’t believe all of this was happening to me, like what did I do to deserve this? I’m so pissed at Chris. How could he betray me again? Am I not good enough for him? He always tells me he loves me, but now I’m questioning everything. 

Maybe my parents were right about him after all. I should’ve listened and let my parents help raise Josiah while I went off to college so I wouldn’t have to still depend on a man who cheats on me. I would’ve gone on and fulfilled my dreams of becoming a fashion designer. 

I don’t know…it’s like I don’t know anything at this point, almost like I’m having an outer body experience and everything keeps spiraling down. 

“Don’t act like you didn’t hear me Liz” I muttered rolling my eyes. I didn’t want to repeat what his ungrateful ass did. The less I think about it the less I’ll have to deal with the pain. 

“Look, I’m sorry baby cakes. I-I just can’t believe he did such a thing. Like what about Jojo? That poor baby” She shook her head, “One minute he’s in a house with two parents now one.” Liz finished. 

“Oh, my god. I’m now considered as a single parent” I gasped while a stray tear fell as I came to realize the one thing I dreaded since becoming pregnant at eighteen. It was now my reality. “Oh my god Liz” I sobbed hysterically. 

“Aww Dani, it’s okay. It’s not your fault” She comforted while pulling me in for a sisterly hug. “What if it is? What if I pushed him into the arms of someone else? I know I wasn’t easiest to deal with, but he probably thought I didn’t love him anymore”. Liz shook her head in defense, “No, hell nooo. Don’t let him have you thinking it’s your fault. It doesn’t matter if you didn’t talk to him for ten years, Chris is a grown ass man who knew better. He’s at fault, not you.” 

“I know but still, I can’t help but to think it, ya’ know? It’s just going to feel real awkward without him around. He was my everything, my best friend, my husband..and now…I can’t even stomach the thought of knowing he had sex with another girl.” I mentioned. 

“Do you know the girl?”

“Nope, he wouldn’t give up her name.” 

“Oh hell nah! He gotta be doing more than just fucking the hoe if he tried protecting her. Girlllll if Shad pulled some shit like this I would have him and the whore tied up to a tree and set their trifling asses on fire, then sit and watch as I sip on some wine.” Liz went on. Wiping my face, I side eyed Liz for her murderous comment.  

“I don’t think he was protecting her, he said she was unimportant an-” 

“Stop defending him, Danielle!” Liz interjected. 

“I’m not! I’m just saying…but I must say I honestly believe him when he said she wasn’t important. “ I sniffed. 

“I don’t get you, Danielle. How can you still have some faith in someone who did you wrong twice?” She questioned. 

“Because Liz! We have a family! Don’t get me wrong I’m beyond pissed at the situation, but this just isn’t about me and Chris. I also have to think about Josiah in all this. Even though he messed up I can’t just stop loving the father of my child who was also my heart- just like that” I snapped my fingers. 

Liz let out a long irritated sigh, “Fine I get it. It’s just I can’t believe he did it. I’m shocked.” 

Before I could even get a response out, Josiah came out of nowhere and sat down next to me. “Mommy where’s daddy?” My heart ached even more. 

I looked at Liz for a second to figure out what I was going to tell him, “U-Um what’s up baby? What do you need daddy for? Maybe I can help you baby” I smiled rubbing the back of his head. 

“Nothing, I just haven’t seen him since I woke up. Normally he comes in and watches cartoons with me” He replied. 

“Oh, well Jojo…daddy..uh..daddy ha-”

“Your daddy and Uncle Shad had something to take care of”Liz stepped in. “Yeah, but he should be home later” I smiled. 

“Okay mommy” he smiled before running off into the kitchen. “See Liz, what am I going to do about that? I can’t keep lying to him like that.” I ran my hands over my face. 

“And you shouldn’t! At some point you’re going to have to tell him the truth” Liz mentioned. 

“I know. It’s just going to break my heart when I do.”  

Chris 

‘I’m rollin’ down a lonely highway askin’ God to help forgive me

For messing up the blessing he gave to me I see everything clearer now

The nights is black as, black as it’s ever been without my girl I’m gonna lose it

And I pray that he would just shed his grace on me 

I need just to be back with my baby’ 

- - -

Jagged Edge played in the background, as I drove across town. I haven’t even been gone long and I’m already missing Danielle. I should have never messed with Karrueche’s ass, to begin with. Little after I left the crib I called my mama, and boah did she let me have it. “You’re a grown man Chris, you already know wrong from right. You were stupid for hurting Danielle like that, you better fix your mess” she had told me over the phone. 

Making a left on a street I grabbed my cell phone and scrolled through my contacts. Pressing the caller’s name I placed my phone against my ear. “Hello?” she answered. 

“Ew why so dry?” I chuckled. 

“What do you want Chris?” She questioned. 

“Damn Ash, can a nigga not call up his sister and see how she doin’?”  I asked. 

“Not you” she joked. 

“Whatever, you home?” 

“Yeah, why?” 

“Because I’m about to pop up in five minutes,” I said rolling down the street. 

“What if I have a guy friend over?”

“Don’t fuck with me Ashley” I mumbled. Her ass better not have a guy over there, she already knows I don’t play that shit, I don’t give a fuck how old she gets NO NIGGAS!

“Yeah, yeah” she scoffed. 

“Mhm aight!” I replied before hanging up. 

About five minutes later, I pulled up to Ashley’s house. Cutting the engine I took the keys out the ignition and hopped out. I knocked three times before the door came flying open. “Do you have to bang on the door like you’re the freakin’ police?” she snapped letting me in. 

“Making sure I scare off your fuck niggas,” I said. She rolled her eyes. 

“Only fuck nigga here is you.”

“Damn, you just gonna play your big bro like that?” I chuckled.  Ashley’s my half-sister on my father’s side. Even though she’s nineteen years old she’s very mature for her again and has a better head on her shoulder than me. That’s why I feel so comfortable talking to her about anything. Crazy how I’m turning to my baby sis for advice, but just like my mother I’m sure Ash will cut my damn head off.

We walked into her living room and sat on the couch. “Yeah yeah, so what brings your big head here?” She asked wasting no time. 

I sighed running my hands against my thighs, “I fucked up.” 

“What do you mean you fucked up?” 

“With Danielle…I cheated on her.” 

“Again!? Why the hell Chris!” She yelled punching me in the arm. 

“Ouch! Don’t do that shit again She-Ra” I hissed, that shit felt like it connected to a bone. 

“Cry me a river Christopher. How could you do something like that to her again? I thought you learned from the last time, but I guess not.” She scuffed. 

“What should I do? She kicked me out, I can’t stay over my homie’s crib because his shorty is Dani’s best friend. I need a place to crash for awhile” I replied. 

“Aw, there it is. Big brother leaning toward baby sis for help” She smiled. Ashley was loving this too much, but she’s all I got right now. “Look, I don’t care if you stay here but you really need to do some damage control. Because I love Danielle like she was my blood sister and I don’t even think I could look at you the same right now…” 

“Why?”

“Seriously Chris? Say some lame ass dude did me like that, you would be ready to beat him down. This is your second time cheating on her and yeah it’s been years since the first time, but that doesn’t matter. From now on she’ll probably struggle to trust you again. You really messed up and saying it isn’t really going to fix it. Don’t think just because you admitted it, it’ll ease the aftermath…it’s not.” 

Chris- 

Danielle- “You know your brother is touched and I sure will. Thanks sis” *hugs back*  

-

Chris- “Aye don’t get bold ash, I am your big Bro”

Danielle- “I get what you’re saying. I don’t know what I’m going to do to be honest.” 

-