Your family are the people that are still there.. not the people who share your name.

Skylar Grey - Words

It's 4:18 am right now. I am supposed to leave for detox/rehab today. Not a lot of things in my life have truly scared me. I've travelled, done drugs, moved to new places, hell I've jumped out of planes. But this, this is different. The thought of walking into that building, alone, is fucking terrifying. Anxious doesn't even describe it. Every time I think about it, I flash back to the first time I went to camp when I was 12. It was the absolute worst experience I've ever had. I spent 3/4 of the week bawling and hiding in my cabin. That's how I feel right now.. alone, lost, and scared. I don't know what to do... The sadness I see in my mom's eyes when she knows I've been out doing blow all night absolutely rips me apart.. and I want to do this for her. I know I need to. The person I've become since the drugs started scares me.. I never thought I'd be that guy, never thought I'd do that drug. Not me.. but here I am. My life has been ripped apart and left in shambles, and all I want is to change.. but I'm so scared..