𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒅𝒔.

jian's sitting just off to the side of her apartment building’s entrance. she's close enough that she really could get up and go inside, but she hasn't. both of her legs are stretched out in front of her, her head tipped back against the wall with her eyes closed. from a distance, she could pass for someone asleep sitting up. the only indication she isn't is the faint movement of her feet moving and the soft hums coming from her. she doesn't really know how long she's been sitting there. the last thing she remembers clearly is dropping her bag near the door followed by the soft spill of its contents. she'd crouched down to gather everything, and then… never stood back up.

it’s the sound of footsteps that breaks through the haze and pulls her out of it. immediately, she registers how she must look to whoever it is, and her chest tightens. worst case scenario, it's someone who's close to her parents and make it something she'll hear about later whether she wants to or not.

her eyes open almost instantly at the thought. she slightly relaxes when she realizes it’s not who she thought it might be, but the relief does nothing against embarrassment begins to quickly creep in. jian stands, a little slower than it should be for someone her age.

"oh," she says softly, followed by a slow blink. "hey." for someone who usually has something to say, she doesn't really know what to say to make this look any better than it was. "i didn't…" she stops the explanation before she can fully get it out. "i just got back," is the explanation she settles on instead. jian has no idea if the other buys it, and she's not really trying to make them.

her fingers tug lightly at her sleeve and she shifts her weight from one foot to the other. she kind of wants to head inside and act like this didn't happen, but a part of her is worried about what the other may think of her, and that alone has her feet planted in place. she glances at them briefly, then away again, debating whether to say anything else at all.

"of course," she mutters under her breath when he says the jian special, already moving to make his drink. while the request isn't exactly that, there's something she finds annoying about people telling her to surprise them. she could go on an entire rant about how ridiculous it is to expect her to magically know what drink they'd like, but she also isn't getting paid to nitpick customer demands. so just like minseok and his lenovo taking up more space than she'd like, jian just deals with it. "there is no jian special offered here, but if there were one, it'd be dependent on who's ordering it," she pauses mid-thought as her attention was fully put on his drink and ensuring there was barely any alcohol per his request. "...yours would just be tap water, if you were curious."

not much manages to make her customer service mask slip, but it mometarily did the moment she hears his question. "god, no." the two words leave her mouth before she can catch herself, leaving jian trying to soften the reaction with a small laugh. "i'm not really into that, if you couldn't tell." she pours his usual (also mentally referred as the sorry excuse for an alcoholic drink) into the glass. jian still hasn't figured out whether or not minseok has been seriously asking her out or if he's just committed to a bit. judging by his attendance and their interactions, she's leaning more towards the latter, and since she's kind of afraid of giving off the wrong idea, she doesn't bother to ask.

she places the drink down in front of minseok and finally takes a proper look at him. really, she has nothing better to do since it's fairly early into her shift and it's not like there's a huge crowd waiting to be serviced. "you know, they say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. so really, you can't fault me for looking out for the greater good of seomri and not encouraging that." jian paused as she tilted her head, as if she was analyzing him. "any sane person would've stopped trying after the third attempt at most. maybe stop by the health clinic for a check up... just to be safe."

contrary to popular belief, jian actually likes her job. the biggest pro for her is the unpredictability of where a night could go mixed with the routine she runs through each night. people come in and typicallly dont give her too much trouble. some talk to her, some don't, and some flip-flop between the two with each visit. either way, it didn't bother jian since it's simple enough that she doesn't have to think too hard whlie working.

that being said, she can count the number of people who has the power to derail her entire shift on one hand. some aren't bad, like the chatty drunks that just needs more of jian's attention, but there's also the type that kind of annoys her. so far during her time at the wheat barrel, she hasn't resorted to physical violence or making any threats to patrons, but she does heavily contemplate it whenever she sees lee minseok while she's working. just like right now.

but like usual, what jian wants to do and what she actually does are two different things. she lets out a quiet exhale, setting down a glass as she glanced at him. she really doesn't know why he's here that often, but she also doesn't care enough to ask.

"welcome. trying to beat the crowd?" it's a small joke considering she doesn't think she's ever seen the place packed out, which she thinks is for the best for her to remain liking her job. her fingers tap against the bar top before she reaches for another glass just to have something to do. she really doesn't know what to expect with him, so she's already on edge even if she currently doesn't look bothered.

being born and raised in seomri, every fiber of jian is intertwined with the place. from the small kid who could barely keep up with the others as she chased them to the young adult barely making it through the day on three hours of sleep, jian’s pretty sure 98.5% of her total time alive has been spent there.

she grew up in a household containing parents that wanted her to be extremely successful and become something bigger than what seomri could offer… but only in ways they considered respectable. they pushed her to do well in school and encouraging anything that would make her a well-rounded individual. this even led to her summers being filled with helping out around town as a teen, earning her some brownie points.

the older she got, the heavier those expectations became. it grew more obvious that the only thing that ever really fulfilled her was music. she wasn’t good at studying like her parents had hoped, and frankly the careers they wanted for her weren’t ones she could see herself in. the topic actually caused a huge rift between jian and her parents, starting small when she was a teen rebelling against them and still ongoing.** jian’s unsure if the fuss was all because they wanted an excuse to leave through her or if they genuinely wanted her to be their perfect, successful child that they could brag about. either way she’s still disappointing them so she doesn’t care to find out which it is.

** during her teenage years, jian rarely ever actually got into real trouble. she stayed out past curfew, snuck out, ditched family plans, and sometimes wasn’t exactly where she told her parents she would be, but she knew her limits. most of those nights, she’d end up somewhere quiet, staring up at the sky. stargazing was something that made everything she was dealing with feel small, and that often was an effective method to ground herself when she was in her head too much..

despite barely speaking to her parents present day, jian still keeps up the appearance that everything is fine between them. to everyone else, they’re a perfectly functional family. her parents care way too much about how they’re perceived, and she’s never quite had it in her to disrupt that image after entering her twenties. it was easier letting them frame her as someone who’s just momentarily confused and hasn’t quite figured things out yet. because the truth is she does know what she wants. she just doesn’t want to explain her reasoning or why she’s never been entirely convinced it’s something someone like her is allowed to have or could achieve.

jian’s kind of been living with an inferiority complex her entire life. it’s not something she talks about. she doesnt even fully acknowledge it herself, but it's hard to ignore with the things she cares about. like her singing, or her writing. literally anything she creates. it’s just hard for her to not compare herself to others when she puts so much of herself into those things and just wants to be good enough. most days it’s easy for her to ignore, but she’s just so unhappy with those particular things that it’s threatening to spill into every other aspect of her life. she’s doing her best to not let it, but she's only human.

layback is possibly the main thing keeping her head above the water right now. as unhealthy as it is, it’s her entire world at the moment, and she uses it as the main pro in her life to cope with the several cons she can easily list about her life. the tiktok attention has had her more motivated than she has ever been in recent time, so you can say that maybe has negated at least three cons off her list. but some people might argue that she’s wish-washy about the band now since she’s also been juggling and momentarily prioritizing her job as well, but most of her time and attention still goes to layback. as one of her top priorities, she fits everything else in her life around anything concerning layback, even if it doesn’t always look that way to people on the outside. not like she cares that much what outsiders think... as long as her bandmates know she's full committed, then it 's all fine... right?

speaking of her job, she doesn’t mind bartending at the wheat barrel. she actually likes it on most days, but it’s still not something she sees herself doing long-term. she shows up because she’s getting paid, and does well enough to not get fired. ideally, she’d want to fully focus on music, but unfortunately the world runs on money, which she needs. but still, it’s an enjoyable job, especially when she pulls a prank or can annoy her favorites.

jian is pretty friendly, typically mirroring others and matching their energy, which sometimes makes conversation easy with her. but it’s typically low-effort and of little substance since she had a lifetime experience of refraining from sharing too much about herself to remain likable.

don’t be fooled, she likes to joke around. her humor leans more dry and is often delivered with a straight face, which makes it hard to tell if she’s serious at first… but she’s also easily amused so people aren’t left wondering for long. she often gives herself away once she starts smirking. she also has a tendency to playfully tease the people she’s comfortable enough with.

while she is pretty easy-going most of the time, she does have bit of a temper. but she doesn’t really lash out. instead, she either gives short responses, distances herself, or both. but she’s also not spiteful so she doesn’t stay angry for long.

she’s also spontaneous, typically opting to change something or go somewhere on a whim. this often leads to her wanting to take a day trip elsewhere the moment she gets bored and has nothing to do all day. some may say that her ability to make plans and effectively make herself unavailable has been a hindrance on multiple occasions.

but all in all, she’s generally closed off, valuing her independence, but she also really loves having others around. she cares for those around her, even if she doesn’t express it openly. because saying it feels a little awkward for her, she makes sure it comes through in her actions at the very least.

jian also has a handful of small, fun quirks. like the fact that she carries a harmonica on her at all times. she refuses to play it if anyone actually asks her to, since it’s more so about having it there within reach. she jokingly calls it her emotional support harmonica. though, she has whipped it out to abruptly end a conversation before.

for plots, i like to brainstorm them since i’m typically open to anything, but i’m leaving a few ideas below:

friends? i think jian has always used the word a little too easily and claimed people as friends even if the feeling isn’t mutual. so she probably has a lot of “friends” of varying degrees. maybe it’s real, one-sided, or somewhere in between. i would love it if she had a one or two, maybe three friends that she considered her closest friends that may or may not have been there throughout the past few years!

the wheat barrel regulars? as a bartender there, she tries not to give anyone special attention, but she's only human. maybe they continue coming because she gives them special treatment or maybe she has it out for them... could be both. she likes joking around and once she picks a target she's all-in with the teasing and harmless pranks.

someone who shares her deep interest in the arts? she likes nearly every form and is always willing to partake in any creative activity. maybe they spend time making things together/getting each other’s opinions, or maybe she makes it a harmless, healthy competition between them.

someone who knows about her ten step plan to leave and has yet to see her make an attempt towards step one. in fact, the more she talks about it the further down her roots in seomri seem to grow. whether they call her out on it or just quietly watch and listen to her complain is up to you.