KJ

What this blog is:

-writing/art/ramblings

-wlw/nblw textposts (+nsfw stuff)

-a place where i'm gonna rant about how much i love women honestly (yay! women!)

What this blog ISN'T:

-a place for cis men/minors/transphobes (interact with me and you get ejected into the vacuum of space i'm serious)

-a place to send unsolicited nsfw pics, etc.

-also if you think the moon landing was faked/the earth is flat: get out

[Asks: OPEN] Sending an ask? Cool! But please put your age + pronouns somewhere in the ask too! Please only send nsfw asks if you’re over 20!

Tags:

#ramblingeyes -- random stuff/personal

#reblog -- kj reblogs ✨

#spacemybeloved -- cool space stuff

#kjplaysgames — gaming and such!

this is all so fantastically worded, thank you for sharing. I really do appreciate you reaching out like this because I know topics like this can be, putting it mildly, extremely personal and not at all fun to talk about. so thank you. I think, if I dig deeper into that “cringe” feeling, it traces back to a fear response that feels like a fear of being noticed or being pointed out as something other. it’s not even like Ireland is a particularly homophobic country (though sadly it does kind of feel there’s a serious backslide going on in the last few years) but there are always a few dickheads or smart alecks. I’m a person who prefers to just keep their head down and work away, so I think personality wise there’s already potential for a slight clash with people who exist loudly. and that’s fine!! we’re humans we’re not all identical and that’s how it should be. I only mentioned the negatives in that post, but I do also see visibly queer people being themselves and among my first thoughts are little things like “wow that’s a cool style” or “hey that hairstyle’s…interesting!” or “whoa cool piercings!”. like I said, I physically feel sick at the idea of ever being intentionally mean to people, and that goes double for people already persecuted who are literally just trying to live their lives. and yeah I think there’s some jealousy there too because who wouldn’t love to be that brave and stand out.

and yeah I am aware that unfortunately that queer people internalising their own homophobia and lashing out and their own people is a huge and recurring issue and I’d like to reassure anyone reading that I’d never ever do that. you’re right that I mentioned it in the tags, but everything I said in that post exists purely and only inside my head. I would never actually say any of those things to anyone because that’s super hurtful, obviously. anyone can see that. sometimes I post here and forget that we’re all still strangers and you guys don’t know who I am. I’m not someone who would ever in a million years intentionally and deliberately say anything mean to anyone. I wasn’t raised that way, I don’t carry myself that way, I actively work to catch myself if I do think certain not the nicest things sometimes because I am human and we all think those things sometimes. what I spoke about in that post is the primarily sole exception to that catching myself rule and I hate it. I’m not the kind of person who routinely thinks these things (that’s a sentiment I’ve expressed before here to) and so I really want to work on being better.

on the social outings point, as I mentioned I live in Ireland. pretty much the only social gathering people know is going out for a drink. yeah it’s joked about in wider society and a lot of people (looking at some Americans) think it’s great craic to make fun of. it’s a serious endemic social issue and I’m not trying to be funny about that. we’re a country where most people have their first drink in their very early teens, so by the time any particular modern generation makes it to their twenties, going for a night out is just a regular Tuesday. I don’t like that. I’m not mad for the drink or anything, and that fact already limits the social aspect to a pretty substantial degree anyway. that’s without even tagging on the meeting and interacting with queer people requirement to that social aspect which naturally makes it a lot more reduced in terms of options. I never thought about the acts of service and helping people thing as a way to connect with the previous generations of lesbians, that’s actually really cool! next time I help anyone I’m going to mentally thank the lesbians. even if I just pick up something that someone dropped, or something small. that sounds like sarcasm or a joke, but nope I have every intention of doing that. thank you lesbians!