zyrisias (he/they)

carrd is in progress so hello there

we're all anti-endo, anti-harassment, and we probably will get into a bit of mischief related to syscourse

host is zy/zyrisias (he/they)! a lot of us went dormant over the past couple of weeks, and we're all very glad he's still here, bc this system would fall apart without him lol.

co-host is ezerett (he/they/end/neo/ve)! ve's pretty cool, probably could be considered a perpetrator but who knows lol

thirdly, dreamcatcher (he/they/she)! he's a bit aggressive at first and will probably be pulled to front if we're in any sort of conflict.

fourth, lucian (he/him)! he's sort of an introject of one of our ocs from forever ago, and he's very dramatic lol

fifth, lox (he/they)! he's very sweet but doesn't front too often

sixth, kyle (he/it)! former persecutor, but he's pretty nice now (unless he doesn't know you)

seventh, sammy (he/she/they/doll)! she's an alter from forever ago that went dormant for a while, but she's back now

eighth, owen (he/they)! zy's boyfriend, he's very nice but a bit cocky and takes a lot of risks

[look at zem. literally just a little guy. could never do anything wrong. /pos!!]

1) i have POCD ( which is ocd where you get intrusive thoughts and compulsions and get panic attacks surrounding p*dophilia ) but i id as transage and hate interacting with kids bc of my ocd 💀 idk why ppl are like "id-ing different ages = pedo/sus" but it makes me panic, sorry for yelling, i just rly wanted to emphasise the statement bc of my ocd. i think it originated from 4chan, like "clovergender" stuff, which is a troll and fake and made to look lgbt ppl look bad :/

2) ok so, youre a dissocative DID/OSDD system, and alters are dissociated consciousness in ur brain. you can dissociate/disconnect from ur age. like... how DID/OSDD systems have a dissociative disorder and have dissociated concsioussness, transage people only have dissociated aspects of urself (age) thats basically what transage is. i hope i explained it ok

xenoage is just adding synesthetic perception to ages (like: wires getting crossed, like you know how some people associate colors with letters? like that). like, catage.

Yeah, I understand that the "clovergender" stuff is very obviously fake. I'm guessing that it just sort of still sticks in my mind, as well as the fact that we were abused by someone faking being a system so they could claim they were closer to our ages so they could get closer to us (which isn't exactly transage and I don't think they support it but? It's similar enough to our brain I guess).

We have synesthesia (we connect sounds and words with different colors) so we understand the last part.

I think I understand it mostly now? Don't really identify with it but Alexandria (one of my headmates) does so good on you guys as long as you don't hurt anyone with it.

Okay, so-

I'm literally trying to understand it. It isn't my fault that I can't understand something. Maybe this is why nobody tries to understand you guys in the first place if you're all this unnecessarily rude to people trying in good faith to understand your experiences.

So, thank you for explaining? But less of thanks to you for being so utterly rude about it.

My apologies if I invalidated anyone, I am merely trying to understand other people's experiences. I am very sorry if I came off as passive-aggressive in any way, I genuinely didn't mean to, all I was asking for is an explanation. I do, on a certain level, understand feeling a disconnect from your identity/age/gender/etc as a whole because of trauma. We do have a dissociative disorder, after all. Identifying as a different age still feels like it could go wrong in a lot of ways, though? But I digress. You do what you want, I suppose. I have no way to stop you, and it doesn't seem like most of you (from what I've seen) are actively trying to harm anyone.

A word of advice: Try not to act so offended and rude when someone doesn't understand something, and try to explain it to them properly before immediately claiming that they're trying to invalidate an entire community.

we’re pretty sure we hallucinated a lot of our alters existing because now that we’ve accepted that we have hallucinations and sorta learned to deal with them, a lot of them are gone. not in dormancy or integrated, they never existed. pro-endos validating literal hallucinations actively hurt us because now people we thought were our friends are gone. because we were in such radically pro-endo spaces for so long, where we were basically forced to try to “create alters” and call ourselves endogenic so we wouldn’t get called “traumascum” and “sysmed” and get fakeclaimed, we’ve been hurt to the point where its hard for me (an alter that was actually formed because of abuse by a singlet pretending to be a system) to even look at endos without feeling a sense of dread and fear.

tldr; pro-endos please stop validating delusions/hallucinations. even if you think you aren’t, you’re actively harming systems who have delusions/hallucinations, because eventually when they overcome those they’re going to be hurt even more. and, worse, you might make it so they never overcome those delusions/hallucinations, and are stuck like that for the rest of their lives.

Then explain how it's an internal thing...? Because I very obviously don't understand how that works, considering age is how long you've been alive and applies to everything in existence, unlike gender which is a social construct.

It makes more sense in a system sense but applying that term to alters just feels. I don't know, dumb? Like, they aren't the body, so why call them transage? Idk, that's my take on it.

Yeah that makes sense

Transage just seems sorta pointless to me because if you identify as older, you're eventually just going to get older anyways, and if you identify as younger, you can just say you're agere?

And unlike gender, age is a thing that happens to everyone and can't be changed. For example, you could be 30 and look 15, but you're still 30, because you've been alive for 30 years. Age isn't determined by how you feel, it's determined by how long you've been alive.

In a way, I could see it sorta making sense, but it most likely originated as a joke on 4chan, and the concept could lead to a lot of people getting away with gross things because they "identify as" a different age.

Transage is horribly named but it describes being internally different from your chronological age, ie little alters in adult-bodied systems (but it applies to singlets too who are just Like That lol)

The system-related explanation I sort of understand but I don't really understand the rest of it? It feels really off and gives off "I may be an adult but I identify as a kid so it's not gross if I date a kid" vibes

This did help a bit, though