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“fuck, fuck, jjongie…” you whined, shaky breath as you worked yourself on his thigh. jay hummed softly into your hair as he drew small circles on your sides, large hands wrapped around you to keep you grounded to him.

“i know baby, i know.” he cooed, his low voice vibrating against your chest was enough to make you soak his sweats more than you already were. “take what you need, i’ve got you.”

jay took his hands off you for a moment, making you choke on your own sob. you couldn’t stand it, not having his touch seared on every inch of your body.

“needy girl,” he teased, but there was no malice. he knew and understand you more than anyone, more than yourself— and he knew what must be done to satisfy your desires. “give me a second will you? you were so impatient, didn’t even get the chance to take this off.”

he began to work on undoing the buttons of your blouse, before letting the cotton garment slid off your shoulders and falling into his lap. jay pressed his lips to your exposed shoulder, a small smile appeared on his face as he expertly unhook your bra.

“thank you, thank you, thank you—“ you rambled, too drunk on the sensation of rubbing your aching pussy against his pants. it was nothing compared to what he usually gives you, but on your lowest days, his thighs can get the job done.

your boyfriend slipped his hand in between your bodies and his thumb teased you through your panties before he gently pushed it aside to dip his fingers in your essence. you buried your face further into his neck, your drool smearing onto your cheeks, ruining your makeup. you didn’t care, your boyfriend will be taking it off later anyway.

“is this enough, or do you want more?” jay asked as he peppered kisses down your neck and towards your chest. he lightly suck on your skin there, causing you to arch your back. your hands grabbed the back of his neck, your moans echoing through the walls. “hmm more, it seems you are very needy today.”

“i am, i am.” you nodded, tears of bliss brimming in your eyes with how perfect everything felt. his mouth on your chest, his fingers playing with you like you were one of his crazy expensive guitars. “work is so—fuck jjongie right there—!”

he let out a soft chuckle as he wrapped an arm around you, keeping you steady on his lap while he stimulate your sensitive bud. “work, did something happen at the office?”

“don’t want to talk about that right now,” you shook your head. “just want to be with you, just you jay.”

his mouth finds yours in a second, it was slow and sensual, allowing you to relax for a bit. he was silently talking you through it, assuring you that he was not going to release you until you were ready.

“you’re perfect,” he whispered after breaking the kiss, his forehead resting against yours. “now focus on how i’m touching you, alright?”

“yes,” you replied, eyes fluttering shut when he increased the pace of his fingers working you.

your thighs shook on either of his sides, so jay had to pin one down with his elbow, putting his full weight on it. your fingers curled into a fist around his shirt, your mouth hung opened yet nothing came out— all the telltale signs of your climax.

“don’t run from it,” jay said, kissing below your ear. “come for me angel, i know you’re close.”

you screamed his name as the tight band in your stomach snapped, your hands eager to push him off but your boyfriend only pulled you closer so he could hold you as helped you ride down your high.

“there we go,” jay praised, landing another kiss on the top of your head as he removed his hand from your nether region. “that’s better, isn’t it?”

“much,” you sighed, slumping against him. “thanks, i really need that.”

“happy to help,” he chuckled while stroking the back of your head. “take your five minutes and we can clean up after.”

“okay,” you murmured while lowering your head to his chest just so you could hear his heartbeat. it was one of your favourite things to do after being intimate with jay, because you knew he’s flustered about everything except he’s just better at hiding it.

“perhaps we can talk about what happened at work while i bathe you?” he offered while his large hands rubbed up and down your back.

“sounds perfect, jay.”

initially, you and jay tolerated each other well. the two of you volunteered with the student council committee a lot, it was how you first met him. jay is an all rounder, just like you, except some would say he's slightly more hardheaded. naturally, jay and you got along with each other just fine.

you knew from the beginning that it was all healthy competition, you understood why he did what he did and you admired him for having principles. it was a very unlikely case with guys in your age group.

however, the respect you had towards jay disappeared the second he switched up on you after you were appointed as the president of the student council instead of him. apparently, his vote to yours was off by two people, which made him land the position of vice president instead. it was not unfortunate, but for someone like jay, being vice president was like being the second driver in a formula 1 team. he did not lose, but he felt like he was second to best and it was eating him up from the inside.

jay stopped talking to you, he no longer text you at random times about what he’s having for dinner or if his favourite driver had made the podium for the for the weekend, like he usually did. you knew his humor was mainly built on sarcasm, but often times he would say shady things to you unprovoked. it was another side of jay that you never thought you'd see. eventually though, you got over it, because there's more to life than a man child being upset at you for 'stealing' the position he was dying for when you worked just as hard as he did. you no longer cared when jay would not even meet your eyes while talking to him.

if anything, the rivalry was one sided. he no longer considered you as a friend, so you don't see the point of mending things with him. you just need to put up with his bullshit for the weekend, because after the trip, you will gladly cut him off and no one would bombard you with questions. you won't have to keep pretending to be civil with jay under the guise of being professional.

it was 11pm, which was not the usual check-in time when your group arrived at the hotel. everyone was worn out from the activities done that throughout the day, they just want to retire to their rooms and sleep off the exhaustion. except a problem came up, which was jungwon forgetting to book your room and jay's. you didn't panic at first, because you are a problem solver. yet, when asked, the receptionist gave you the most horrifying answer.

"excuse me, what do you mean by the only available room is a single queen bed?" you chuckled awkwardly at the receptionist, who could only respond to you with a straight face and a tired nod.

you looked over your shoulder, no one dared to look at you, yet you could tell sunghoon and jake was holding back a laughter as they nudge at jay who was standing in between them. the guy could seriously pop a vein with the way his best friends were taunting him.

there was no humor in your laugh when you turned back to the receptionist, who had already held out the room keys to you. suddenly, you were taken back to the time you reacted a thumbs up emoji to yujin's text in the group chat, asking if everyone was okay with the roommates arrangement being done by a name picker.

you could never predict yourself to be this unlucky— you had already pull the short end of the stick when jay was revealed as your roommate for the entire trip.

this was not how you imagined yourself being roommates with jay during the trip. you have accepted that you two would be sharing a space, but not the same bed. you've read about forced proximity in books and what it did to the characters, hence, you could only pray that you don't crack under the pressure just as easily as them.

the sound of the bathroom door closing pulled you out of your trance. you watched as jay walked across the room towards his bag. you were lying down on one side of the bed, next to the wall that separated the space and the bathroom. your phone was in your hand, but you were doing nothing except refreshing your pinterest for almost 5 times. jay barely acknowledged you as he took out the clothes he was going to wear the next day out of his duffel bag.

"i'm taking the left side, and you can take the right." you cleared your throat and jay barely spared you a glance before tossing his phone on his side of the bed.

you had put pillows in between where you both will lay, so safe to say that neither of you will be touching each other while you sleep. the pillows stay, and it will be there for the rest of the night until you wake up.

"why the pillow?" jay asked as he climbed into the bed, staring at the makeshift wall you made. "whatever, don't answer. i don't care anyway."

you clenched your jaw as you held yourself back from saying anything rude, or hurtful. jay was behaving as per usual, he was getting on your nerves so you would give up the bed and move to the floor. no, that is obviously something you wouldn't do. you will not back down no matter what. jay can continue being childish but that meant nothing, one night, you know you will survive.

the sound of thunder cracking was what shook you from your sleep.

you reached for your phone that was tucked under your pillow and checked the time, it was a quarter past midnight. still very early, but going back to sleep would be trouble for you. you looked to your right where jay was sleeping, except he wasn't. it wasn't loud, but you could hear sounds coming from his phone and you saw faint light from where his body was turned to.

"still awake?" you croaked and he jumped into a sitting position right away, putting an amused grin on your face.

"yes, fuck, why did you sneak on me like that?" he sighed as he rubbed his chest, his brows furrowed as he looked at you. "and, weren't you already asleep?"

"the rain woke me up," you shrugged. "i don't fall back asleep easily, so…"

jay glanced at his lit up phone screen before turning it off and putting it away, his movements were careful as he settled next to you again. you shifted against the sheets, not saying anything to him unless he did it first.

"what, you need me to sing you a lullaby or some shit?" he scoffed. there he was, that was jay.

"please, you'll only make the rain worse." you rolled your eyes as you fixed your posture, trying to find the perfect position so you could find sleep. "why're you suddenly so interested about me sleeping or not?"

"so you won't sneak on me like some creep again?" he scowled. "should've just asked jake or sunghoon to replace me, instead i'm stuck with your annoying ass."

"hey, if anyone wanted to be replaced— it should be me." you sat up, shooting daggers at him with your glare. "you think i enjoyed being stuck with your hateful ass?"

"damn, you actually think i would spend any energy on hating you?" jay laughed as he mirrored you. "you're not even worth the thought, you're a waste of space."

he seriously had touched a nerve with what he said because you saw red flashing before your eyes as soon as he finished that sentence. yet you still force yourself to choose your next words carefully, because if you don't, you would seriously pounce on him and end his life.

"oh, says the boy who never spoke to me outside of meetings if it weren't things related to the student council?" you taunted. "you were the one acting like a child— did you ever realize that, jay?"

"because i really have no business with you unless it's student council stuff, shit— are you that bothered that i sidebarred you?" jay retorted, his tone was purposely challenging you.

"i don't give a fuck about being sidebarred, jay." you snickered. "it only made it more obvious to everyone, that the reason you stopped talking to me, was because you were jealous that i am president and not you!"

the silence that followed after what you said hung thickly in the air. you were starting to wonder to yourself if you had hurt his feeling with what you had said, but you also believed that you said nothing but the truth.

"so you think i'm pathetic?" he asked, and you were hesitant to respond. "say it, i wanna hear it from your mouth."

"fine, you're pathetic," you gave in. "i can't believe you threw away this friendship because of blind jealousy."

you had to admit, you were hurt by the way jay was treating you. you told yourself you got over it, when in reality you didn't. yes, you weren't close with jay the way jake and sunghoon is— but you cherished his presence in your life. he's insightful, witty, and he made you laugh with his awful dad jokes. jay was somewhat a significant person in your life, and having to stop being friends with him simply because of something as trivial as who gets to be president and who didn't, it was secretly crushing you.

"i'm sorry jay, i didn't mean to hurt your feelings." you murmured, your fingers curling around the soft duvet. "i had to tell you how i actually feel."

jay's expression softened and he straightened his back, his fingers tapping on his knee while he stared down at his lap. he was thinking of a response, maybe this time, he would behave like an adult.

"to be honest, i couldn't care less you're president, matter of fact— i'm thrilled you got the position, you deserved it more than anyone on the team." he raised his head and began to explain, and you listened to each word carefully. "i stopped talking to you because…"

you waited for him to finish the sentence, but he didn't. you stared at him, confused.

"jay, i won't be upset with you." you sighed as you took away the pillows that sat in the middle of the bed, closing the gap between you and him. "you can tell me anything, that's what friends are for right?"

"right," he offered you a weak smile before looking away, his nails picking at his skin as he nervously fidgeted with his fingers. "i just— i don't know, i screwed up big time."

"well, now is your chance to fix it." you said. "be my guest."

jay buried his face in his hands and groaned loudly, the tip of his ears were turning red. your heart was pounding against your chest and you don't know why, you weren't sure as to why waiting for jay's answer was so dreadful.

"you will hate me for this," he said, and you were about to cut him off but he interrupted you first. "trust me, i know that you will."

"come on, what is it that you are you so afraid of?" you scoffed as you pushed your hair back, frustrated. "let's be honest with each other, no judgments— i promise."

"no judgments," he repeated before taking a deep breath. you saw his lips moving, but barely. jay had said the words so quietly you couldn't make it out.

"stop messing around jay," you said, your patience was wearing thin. you didn't understand why he wanted to beat around the bush on this matter, it's not like you would kill him for whatever he's gonna say. yes, he did say you would hate him for it, but even that you couldn't believe. "just spit it out, or did the cat got your tongue?"

"i've said it, did you not hear me?" he blurted, even in the dark you could see how red he was. "you enjoy tormenting me or something?"

"dude, i didn't hear you at all!" you laughed, your hand shot out to lightly jab his shoulder. "seriously, what is it you're gonna say, that you're like in love with me or something and that's why you distanced yourself?"

not a sound leave his mouth after what you said, and you meant it, none. it was like he even stopped breathing at some point. jay didn't even blink, he just stare straight ahead, lips pursed and his fingers gripping onto his sweatpants like a vice.

"love is an overstatement, honestly. a crush, more like?" he finally spoke. "god, i feel so stupid—i'm behaving like a goddamn high schooler."

"so instead of being normal about it, you took the cowardly way out?" you narrowed your eyes at him as you shifted closer, knees touching.

jay stammered as he scooted away from you, his eyes gawking at you when you grabbed his shoulders. you were moving on instinct at this point, trying to keep him pinned in that same spot. he had been avoiding you for the whole year, it's fair if you taunt him just a little. park jay won't break, he never did and he never will.

"i guess you can call it that," he shuddered when your thumb dug into his flesh, his stare dropping to your lips for a second before he looked back up. "look, i'm sorry. i was a coward and i treated you like shit, i'm the asshole— i'm aware of that."

"you're seriously pathetic, jay." you jabbed, and jay couldn’t seem to find an answer to you. "you did all that because you can't be truthful to me, you were more scared about the rejection than losing our friendship."

even in the current situation you've got him in, jay couldn't silence his inner voice that were screaming in his ear. he itched to reach for you, and you were so close to him. yet he knew if he acted on impulse, he would lose you forever.

"i know!" he whined, his eyes brimming with tears. he was so overwhelmed with emotions it could burst anytime soon, and he would resent himself forever if he started crying in front of you.

he was already pathetic enough in your eyes. if he broke down now, it will be the end.

"but honestly?" he breathed out, slowly regaining his composure. "i was scared of losing this friendship, so i acted impulsively. i didn't— i didn't think that by being distant, it will jeopardize what we had the same way if i confessed."

your hold on him loosened and your expression softened, finally satisfied with what he's got to say. for someone like you two, you never thought conflict will happen through miscommunication. turns out, despite how mature you and jay made yourselves out to be— you were still people.

people feel, because emotions didn't have guidelines. by being scared of recklessness, jay had thrown himself into it without him realizing.

"i'm sorry too," you apologized. "i was hostile too, should've just straight up ask you what's up instead of jumping into conclusions. i know you wouldn't hold any animosity towards me."

"don't be," he shook his head as he reached for your hand. you were surprised, yet you didn't pull away. you didn't feel the need to. "i'm glad we've settled this, i cherish you as a friend."

"only friends, park?" you teased, your lips curved into a small smirk. "did you move on from me that quickly? ouch, i would've thought i would leave a bigger impact on people."

"you did," he chuckled, his eyes never leaving you. "i lied about you not being worth the thought, because you're all i think about."

oh. oh.

suddenly you were hyper aware of how close you were to each other, and how his hand hadn't release your wrist. jay's warmth lingered, and so did the faint scent of his signature perfume. combined with his sharp eyes, it was enough to tempt you into doing something foolish.

for once, you shut out the little voices in your head. you allowed your emotions to take charge, you wanted to release your inhibitions.

“you thought of me,” you made a remark, purposely taunting the boy before you. you wanted to see what sets him off, and how far he would go. “how?”

“well, i can’t tell you.” he grinned, his thumb rubbing circles on your knuckles. “but i can show you, if you would let me.”

before you knew it, you were already crawling into his lap. he could tell just from looking into your eyes, so jay welcomed you with open arms. he let you straddle his lap, your arms snaking around his neck as you brought your bodies closer. jay didn’t try to push you, or stop you, he wanted you to take the lead. he was willing to learn.

the latter began with peppering kisses from your ear, to your jaw, and down your neck. your entire body was burning, and jay got just the thing to help you settle.

"may i?" he seek permission as he brought his face inches away from yours.

you leaned forward, your eyes fluttering shut as he slowly guide your movements on his lap. even through the clothes, you could feel just how much he wanted this as well. you were impatient, but you knew playing the long game would be worth it.

it was you who kissed him first, a non verbal answer to his question earlier.

jay was hot, and his kiss only fueled the fire inside you. you allowed him to take charge while you laid comfortably on the sheets, savouring the sensations of his lips pressing on every inch of your exposed skin. your mind was reeling from his actions— hushed praises as he made his way down your body, and ghost touches that sparked something foreign in you.

"i've got you," he sighed, his mouth being too close to where you needed him most. "try to keep up, i plan on having you like this till the morning,"