‘ do you think we’re gonna die here tonight? ’
‘ it’s horrifying, chilling… just over all not good. ’
‘ should we just get this over with? ’
‘ he’s a fucking criminal. ’
‘ sharing is caring? meh, go fuck yourself. ’
‘ oh god, um… oh my god, i fucking hate this. ’
‘ stop banging on the door, you dick. ’
‘ what. the fuck. is wrong with you. ’
‘ i gotta be honest, this doesn’t really compel me very much. ’
‘ that was a joke that i made and then it formed your opinion on it. ’
‘ flip that switch. do you think that’s the murder switch? ’
‘ this is embarrassing. this is embarrassing for you, i think. ’
‘ no one’s ghost-proof. ’
‘ i’m ghost-proof. ’
‘ you’re not ghost-proof. you’re just an idiot who refuses to see proof. ’
‘ i’m ghost-proof, baby! ’
‘ that sounded like will smith! ’
‘ is will smith dead? has anyone checked the news?! ’
‘ the problem is if there’s something that attacks us down here, i’m going to hit my head on the ceiling and my skull will smash. ’
‘ alright, buddy. keep your wits about ya. ’
‘ let’s get the fuck out of here. ’
‘ i kind of just looked into places that would make me wanna die and i think this checks that box. ’
‘ did i just blind you? good, good, good. it’ll give you the vision. ’
‘ take a drink! ’
‘ i’m gonna get you all tanked. ’
‘ what do you expect? what insight are you trying to gather from here? ’
‘ maybe the noise is a little snake. can you imagine a little snake wrapped around a little pickaxe with a little hat on? ’
‘ i’m not trying to do that whole dismissive thing, but… i’m dismissing it. ’
‘ alright. alright, man. you just gotta chill. ’
‘ i thought ‘glory hole’ used to mean something very innocuous, though. ’
‘ it’s where the men fucked the earth hoping to impregnate it with gold. ’
‘ a bug flew up my nose. ’
‘ i think i’ve swallowed about six tablespoons of bugs at this point. ’
‘ it’s so silent aside from the bugs in my ears. ’
‘ a bat flew right behind you just now. ’
‘ that bat was straight-up going for your ass… it was an ass bat. ’
‘ dude, i’m so nervous. ’
‘ how can you be nervous with a beautiful sunset like that? ’
‘ there’s some pretty shitty things that have happened to people around here. ’
‘ can you even look at least a little bit worried? ’
‘ yeah, i’m fucking nervous, man. i feel like i’m gonna vomit. ’
‘ we’re all assholes here. ’
‘ i don’t know why i phrased it ‘lucky for us.’ i think i was feeling brave when i wrote this. ’
‘ yeah, this isn’t lucky for you at all. ’
‘ i’m gonna try and avoid saying ‘demon’ as much as i can. ’
‘ i’m not gonna let you goad me into this, i know what you’re trying to do. ’
‘ shut up. we’re moving on. ’
‘ you know what? i’m not trying to scare you, but… i got a bad feeling about this one. ’
‘ why are you unbuttoning your pants? we’re in public right now. ’
‘ oh… you’ve out-dumbed yourself. ’
‘ you know, i thought this was gonna be funny, but now i’m actually happy that i have it. ’
‘ i’m a whole other coin. just like a chill ass wheat-back penny. ’
‘ i’m doing it for the betterment of the science. ’
‘ any demons here? you got any demons out tonight? any horn-y boys or whatever they are. ’
‘ you may not like this… i’m gonna try to agitate it. ’
‘ you do what you gotta do and i’ll do what i gotta do. ’
‘ i’m just gonna be as crude as possible here. ’
‘ no, no, no. just right out of the gate. why build up? ’
‘ if you don’t believe then there’s nothing for you to be afraid of, right? ’
‘ you can be is big of a prick as you want, but i’m staying over here. ’
‘ if you want me off this bridge, you’re gonna have to kill me. ’
‘ nope! don’t loop me into your shit! ’
‘ stop looping me. i hate when you do this to me in demon places. ’
‘ i’m not part of his little charade. ’
‘ children will come here and tell tales about me. ’
‘ shut the fuck up – i’m gonna murder you. ’
‘ oh what a load of horse shit. ’
‘ oh, skip the theatrics and just go into it. ’
‘ if you want me off this bridge, you’re gonna have to throw me off. ’
‘ you gotta admit, that is an effective technique. ’
‘ no, it’s not an effective technique. it’s a way to get killed. ’
‘ that’s not how you get them, shut up. ’
‘ when’s the last time you ever walked into the dark woods? ’
‘ this is so much scarier than hunting fucking sasquatch. ’
‘ people usually feel overcome with emotion in here, like a violent emotion. ’
‘ give me a heads up if you start to feel murderous. i would appreciate that. ’
‘ by the way, these woods are also scary because of the people that might be in there. ’
‘ i mean, people are greater threats than demons or ghouls. ’
‘ i can’t fight, you can’t fight. ’
‘ you’re like one of those carwash floaty things that are out front just wiggling around. ’
‘ anyone doing up to no good out here? ’
‘ one of these times we’re gonna die. ’
‘ oh shit! there’s something over there. i don’t know what it is, but the bushes are moving. ’
‘ i just heard a scream. ’
‘ well, if we just make it seem like we’re in on it, like… we’re here for the cult stuff. ’
‘ we’re here for the cult stuff. we saw the ad on craigslist. ’
‘ it feels weird to even joke. i’m so fucking scared right now. ’
‘ oh sure they’d be hiding in the bushes. they’re cultists. ’
‘ i keep collecting spiderwebs on my face and now i’m just sort of immune to them. i’m just letting them accumulate. ’
‘ well, you are just a giant stick walking around. ’
‘ oh, this looks fun… an odd collection of branches. looks like a witch lair or something. ’
‘ hello? you can’t be doing occult stuff like this. it’s a weeknight. ’
‘ dude, wait. you’re fucking crazy. ’
‘ you need to chill. you need to chill out. ’
‘ hey man, it’s just a plant. ’
‘ we kicked goatman off the bridge, it’s ours now. ’
‘ goatman, are you out here in the woo– well, he’s out here in the woods ‘cause he’s not tending to his bridge. ’
‘ clearly. that’s why finders keepers and all that. ’
‘ hey, if there’s cultists out there… i gotta let you know, my pal has a water gun. ’
‘ i don’t like this, i don’t like this one bit. ’
‘ we are hearing noise from all sides at this point. it’s very blair witch. ’
‘ yeah, let’s leave. ’
‘ the name ‘steve’ doesn’t really strike fear into the heart. ’
‘ i’ll go along with this. fun gimmick. ’
‘ well demons, it’s been fun. ’
‘ as we snuff these candles so too do we snuff you from this mortal world, you fucking wimp. ’
‘ this bridge is officially mine. they’ll tell legends of me here. ’
‘ oh god, i feel like i’ve gone to the dark side. ’
‘ just gloat a little bit. this is a win for you. ’
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