i'm kitana, my pronouns are they/she and i’m 20!! i reblog a bunch of stuff related to my hyperfixations, so i apologize if your feed gets clogged! the rating of my blog is 17+ (current mutuals are fine). if you are under 17, please do not interact!!
i write from time to time— my requests are currently open, so feel free to request whenever! (make sure you read who/what i won't write first).
my works are NEVER written by ai. everything is written either on my phone or my laptop with the help of grammarly for grammatical errors. i never use the generative ai part of grammarly to write the entire thing for me. if you need proof, i’ll gladly provide pictures/recordings of me writing
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✧˖*°࿐ MY TAGS
kitana rambles — me talking about whatever :p
kitana writes — where all my oneshots, drabbles, and fics go!
kitana speaks — where i’ll make announcements about upcoming works or speak up about something!!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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i reallyyyy love this picture of michael for multitude of reasons. the fact that it looks like he smacked the phone to the ground mid-picture, his cheekbones, the sunglasses, hair hair, the blur still making him look hotter somehow, his fit, HIS CHEEKBONES. which then reminds me of the interview when he was asked if his cheekbones were fake and he had to correct everyone by saying it’s just genetics 😭
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Idea: WWE fires their writers and hires a bunch of fanfic writers. It will be the best, most soapy show on TV. True violent theatre. And definitely gay.
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Random thoughts. idk i'm bored. the ending might be cringeeeee. someone send me asks my inbox is so quiet...jk there's loads of requests...but still...?
Mentions of smut, mdni! <33
Clark Kent who was a stuttering mess trying to ask you out, too oblivious to see your heart eyes around him.
Clark Kent who took you on four dates before kissing you, and another three before asking to be your boyfriend. He later admits he’s wanted to kiss you since the day you dropped all your paperwork in front of him, your first day, 16 months ago.
Clark Kent who sleeps with you on the night of your two month anniversary. He wanted it to be romantic, and he wanted it to be fully your idea, no pressure!
Clark Kent who is soo vocal in bed. You feel so so so good and he’s been waiting so long he just has to tell you how good he feels.
Clark Kent who wholeheartedly believes in aftercare, which honestly lasts longer than the sex. He runs baths, gets you a drink, a snack, changes the sheets, gets you some comfy pjs (his boxers and an old college shirt)
Clark Kent who starts getting very bold once you have sex, because once you’ve started, he can’t get enough.
Clark Kent who loves pinching your ass as you walk by, only to look completely innocent when you whip your head towards him.
Clark Kent who gets you flowers every Sunday without fail.
Clark Kent who loves picking you up whenever he can, over the shoulder, up against his chest, in his arms, he just loves holding you!
Clark Kent who never lets you plan a single date, ever! It’s either dinner at the restaurant you like, the museum, the movie theatre, a picnic, dinner at his place, a weekend away.
Clark Kent who tells you he’s Superman almost immediately because he can’t keep a secret from you. He’s riddled with guilt and loves you too much to lie to you.
Loves you?…Wait what!?
Oh yeah!
Clark Kent who tells you he loves you two nights after becoming your boyfriend. He just can’t keep it in! And bonus, he’s lucky you love him too.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
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warnings : most of these are very suggestive, reader is presumed female
a/n: you guys loved part 1 so i made a part 2!! enjoy :) REQUESTS ARE BEING WORKED ON! i’m so sorry there’s so many and im chipping away at all of them in small pieces
once again clips are taken/altered from other streamers to fit the scenarios. some scenarios are originally written though.
——————————————
Chuckle week had just ended a few days prior.
Schlatt being himself, got out of LA as fast as humanly possible to his little place in New York.
You on the other hand, had decided to stay a few more days for one of My Chemical Romance's black parade concerts.
"Wait F/N can you hand me my phone- oop thank- thank you!" You smiled at your friend before looking back at your camera
"What is this for?" Reading chat out loud.
You picked up a blending brush a dipped it into black eye shadow, bringing it up to your eyelid.
"I'm with a few of my irl friends and we're going to see My Chem." You smiled into the camera as you put the brush down and picked up an small angle brush, blending black eye shadow under my eye to enhance the eyeliner.
"Chat, I haven't done this kind of makeup since like 2021." You confessed as you looked at your full face of makeup that you had on along with your outfit.
You couldn't deny that you looked HOT. But it was also hot out so I guess it fit.
"Wait I need- oh!" You looked down at your phone to see a facetime call coming through.
"Guys say hi to Schlatt." You told stream.
You answered the call, turning the phone so the stream could see your phone screen.
"All I'm saying is.. y/n if you come to New York looking like that I'm fucking the shit outta you.” He says seriously with a straight face, looking dead straight into the camera.
“That’s not even a-" he hangs up abruptly, leaving your mouth wide open and your cheeks burning red.
You laughed in disbelief as your chat flew at high speeds. "I don't even know what to say."
"Guys I think I have to go back to New York." You smirked at the camera and then eneded stream.
——————————————
“Wait, wait, wait you’re telling me that-“ You were multiple shots in at this point of the ‘drink or truth’ stream you were having with Ted.
He was a few shots behind you but you kept getting asked questions about you relationship that you wanted to keep private.
“You thought I was dating F/N when we met??” You cackled and threw your head back.
“The first time I met you, you were drunk making out with them at a party.” He laughed back at you with a bottle in his hand.
Schlatt sat in his apartment, editing a vod with your stream pulled up as background noise.
“Ok I have a few questions.” Ted semi-slurred.
You grabbed a water and turned to look at chat as he spoke.
“If you could tell Charlie one thing right now what would it be?” Ted questioned as he grabbed a bag of chips and opened it, starting to munch on them.
“I would tell him…” you stopped for a moment to think, looking at chat.
You leaned onto your counter island, resting your chin on the palm of your hand.
“I’d tell him I love you buddy, keep up the good work on the videos.” You smiled into the camera before turning your head to look at Ted who wiped his hands off before pushing the bag away.
“Now.” He started as he looked down at you.
“If you could say one thing to Schlatt right now what would you say?” He questioned.
“I’d say bend it over, smack it from the back.” You spoke quickly, not leaving a single moment of silence between his question and your answer.
Schlatt immediately started laughing.
Reaching for his phone and quickly hitting your contact, he put his phone up to his ear.
“You can’t just say that.” Schlatt laughed loudly into the phone as soon as you answered.
“You should come over.” You laughed into the phone back.
———————————————
“You are literally not listening to me,” you snap, ripping the instruction manual out of his hand while pointing the tiny screwdriver at him like a weapon.
“The shelves go on after the side panels.”
“No, they don’t,” Schlatt argues back immediately, equally loud. “Why would they design it like that? That makes zero sense.”
“Because it’s IKEA!” You argued back, looking up at him as he stood up and you sat kneeling on the floor.
“That’s not an answer!” He responded, holding his hands out in front of him in frustration.
The stream can hear every second of it.
Your back is to the camera as you sat beside the half-built TV stand in your new apartment, one of Schlatt’s hoodies hanging off your shoulder while cardboard and packing foam absolutely destroy the living room around you.
“You stripped the screw,” you accuse and you crossed your arms, watching him.
“You handed me the wrong screwdriver!” He shouted back as he lightly threw the tool on the ground.
“There were TWO.”
“There shouldn’t be two!”
Chat is flying by so fast neither of you can read it anymore, both too busy bickering in the middle of your brand new apartment surrounded by unpacked boxes and loose screws.
“Move your hand-”
“No, you move your hand-”
ding
TTS cuts through the yelling.
“aaron883 donated ten dollars. Y/N’s ass looks great from this angle.”
You both fell silent. You freeze with your back still facing the camera.
Schlatt slowly turns toward his monitor like he just heard a gunshot.
“what?” he said calmly.
You whip around first. “EXCUSE ME?” you replied to the stream loudly.
“HELLO?” Schlatt barks at the screen. “What kind of freak shit is that?”
“I’m literally building furniture!” you yell at the camera, focusing all your frustration on chat as a joke.
“Like can we focus on the task at hand?” Schlatt adds aggressively. “We’re in a domestic dispute right now.”
Chat starts spamming LMAOOOOO.
“You people are ENABLERS,” you accuse, pointing at the camera.
Another dono immediately pops up. “worth every penny.”
“Oh my GOD,” Schlatt groans. “Mods, hit him with hammers.” he picked up the instruction manual and looked at it.
“No seriously, ban him for life,” you add. “Public execution.”
“You cannot be objectifying my girlfriend while she’s holding an allen wrench.” he added on as he looked down at you, you were looking towards chat.
“I’m covered in dust and emotional distress!”
Schlatt points dramatically toward you. “She hasn’t eaten in, like, four hours because of THIS TABLE.”
“THIS ISN’T EVEN A TABLE!”
“SEE?” he shouts at chat. “WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS.”
Another dono. “camera still pointed tho.”
You and Schlatt both look at the camera.
Then at each other.
Then back at the camera.
“Oh my fucking GOD-”
Schlatt lunges across the room to move it while he yells., “YOU PEOPLE HAVE LOST YOUR PRIVILEGES.”
You looked up at him and laughed as he cussed out stream.
————————————————
instagram: y/nuser has posted!
y/nuser:
📍Los Angeles / 🎵: freaks by surf curse
—> swipe!
❤️ 273.8k ♻️ 14k 💬 89.7k
y/nuser: i know this song gave you flashbacks to a simpler time, welcome to chuckle week
—
jschlatt: why am i here twice
-y/nuser: cause i wanted to lick my screen twice
—jschlatt: i got something else you can lick twice
———————————————
“Howdy neighbor!” You and Katie yelled into your microphones as you ran up to Schlatt.
His minecraft character looked at the both of you, he sighed loudly into his mic.
“How did you manage-“ He turned in game towards Katie.
“To get my girlfriend to be equally as annoying as you are.” He complained to the two girls in front of him.
You giggled into your mic and spun in a circle.
“I think i’m just being myself J, is that an issue with you?” You spoke with a serious tone, turning to look at him.
He quickly started stumbling and sputtering out words. “I don’t- what made you- I mean-“
You turned your character an walked into Schlatts two story New York style inspired house.
Schlatt should’ve known the stream was doomed the second Quackity invited Y/N and Katie to “come look at his house.”
“It’s actually insane,” Quackity says over vc, trying not to laugh already. “Like architecturally offensive.”
“My house is FINE,” Schlatt argues him immediately.
Y/N walks through the water and stops in front of the house. There’s a long silence.
“…why is everything brick.” You asked as you turned to look at him.
“What do you MEAN why is everything brick?” He asked, annoyed that you had something to say about his house.
“The floor is red. The walls are brick. The ceiling is red. This looks like a emo kids AirBnB.” You had said out loud without thinking. Katie and Quackity immediately bust out laughing.
Schlatt groans. “You people don’t understand minimalist design.”
Quackity snorts. “Minimalist? Dude, there’s literally one chair.”
“It’s efficient!” He quickly argued back,
While he’s distracted arguing, you quietly start replacing random blocks in the wall with pink wool.
Katie joins in immediately.
By the time Schlatt notices, there’s a giant uneven pink heart built into the side of his house facing spawn.
“Oh my GOD.” He screams out at be two girls.
“It’s cute!” You announce defensively.
“It looks diseased!”
Quackity is absolutely no help, adding lanterns and flower pots around it. “Wait wait, this is actually bringing the build together.”
“YOU are banned from my property.” He turned around to look at you.
“Babe,” You say sweetly, “you said you wanted the house to have more personality.”
“I did not mean cyberbullying.”
Katie’s giggling so hard she accidentally lets a creeper explode part of the front yard.
The vc goes silent.
Then Quackity loses it first, full wheezing laughter as Schlatt just stares at the crater in exhausted disbelief.
every hatchetfield project has a background character named rollerskate guy with 2 lines of spoken dialogue and 3 total minutes of screentime comprised solely of him rollerskating across stage and flipping off the main characters, and then theyll announce a spin off called rollerama where rollerskate guy is eaten alive by an eldritch god as consequence for his hubristic desire to be the best skater in hatchetfield (his father left after he lost his first skating competition and he's been chasing his approval ever since). rollerskate guy is played by joey richter.
