you weren't trying to be a pervert. it's just that you'd never heard noises like that from their room before. and it's not like you were trying to listen or anything, the noise is just a reality of sharing a wall. you don't notice most of it, the sounds become a familiar rhythm in the background. but this was different, which is what made it cut through the filtered out background buzz. and now you're standing frozen in the doorway that you silently cracked open, watching your big brother pump their fingers in and out of someone you've never seen before. her face is twisted up almost like she's in pain and she's whimpering quietly under the hand they have clamped over her mouth. their eyes keep flitting back and forth from her face, to their fingers between her legs, and back again. they're smiling and cooing at her, "hear how fucking wet you are baby? even when you stay quiet your body can't." something about the quality of their voice and the wet sounds of their fingers moving in and out of her makes your stomach flip. your knees buckle a little and you lower yourself to the ground to sit with your feet tucked under you, still watching, still listening.
they keep talking and it's making your head spin, telling her how pretty she looks spread out for them like this, how good she's being, how tight she's squeezing their fingers. you're shifting back and forth where you sit, your heel putting pressure between your legs in a spot that feels really hot and insistent. they start murmuring more as the girl starts squirming, whining like a dog, her eyes now wide open and looking intently at them. "aw are you close baby? if I let you speak are you going to be good?" she nods quickly and they remove the hand from her face. "please sir, please can I please please it's too much please-" her desperate ramble gets cut off sharply, "please what? I want a full sentence kiddo." oh. that word made you gasp a little. that was how they always referred to you. your head was all fuzzy but there was something in there that felt. possessive. that was yours. who was this person?
you came back to earth and heard her again, low and growly, "please can I cum on your fingers daddy?" your heart jumped into your throat and you wanted to cry out. your rocking on your heel got more erratic, was this how the girl was feeling? this warm kind of urgency? is that why she was saying all this stuff? you had the feeling that if they were hovering over and prompting you that way, that you'd say anything to keep this feeling in your tummy growing bigger. it felt like your insides were expanding and going to burst, but somehow in a way that felt good. like the time you accidentally drank an adult drink on new years and your head felt too big and floaty. they had been with you that night. taken you up to bed, helped you out of your party clothes and into a soft nightgown. promised not to tell your parents. their hands were so warm on your skin. would they feel that warm inside you too?
the girl started stammering now, but they seemed to only get more steady the less she was. they kept moving their hand at the same pace and shushing her softly, in a manner not unlike how they would you soothe you back to sleep after a nightmare. "please.. please daddy. I can't hold it." she croaked out. they smiled softly and said, "yes baby, you can cum. cum on your dad's fingers now kiddo." the girl started crying and whining before they finished talking. the words tipped something over inside you too, it almost felt like you were going to pee yourself. terrified that the feeling was going to make you cry, you put your thumb in your mouth and screwed your eyes up hard, rubbing against your heel and praying you don't make a mess. the last thing they said echoing in your head, "cum on your dad's fingers now kiddo." is that was this is, cumming? there were too many feelings to pull apart inside. imaging them saying it to you, the good feeling in your stomach and between your legs, the confusion, the anger at whoever this girl was that they were calling your pet name.
you opened your eyes slightly as the feeling subsided. you felt shaky like after you'd thrown up. lighter but dizzy. and then your heart stopped. they were looking right at you. sitting on your heel, soaking through your little tights, thumb still stuck in your mouth, pink faced and peering through the crack in the door from the hall carpet. the girl's head was turned away and she was still crying softly, she probably hadn't noticed. but they did. and they were smiling at you.
