remedial-feeding

Those first 15 pounds were a struggle. You felt proud once you reached that milestone. You decided to stop gaining and enjoy your new fluffy figure. 

But then something strange happened you… Even though you’d stopped intentionally gaining, The number of scales actually kept creeping up on you. You kept putting on weight. That tight, thicc chubby belly gradually became doughy, jiggly gut. 

How cute, you just didn’t realise how fast this weight gain stuff can spiral out of control. You didn’t even realise that you’d developed a fat girl metabolism. For the first time in your life you were actually having a little weight gain problem. The pounds kept creeping up. You went from chubby to fat. Suddenly those BBWs in your feed don’t look that fat anymore. Suddenly new cute chubby starter feedees are appearing in your feed looking at YOU thinking they’d never get as fat as you. 

after a full month of the routine, you assess their progress. when their stomach is empty, they feel even hungrier than before. they barely get satisfied from the amount of food you've been giving them, only getting to feel some semblance of fullness when they're stretched with water. maybe they even HAVE lost some weight from the smaller portions... so you give them a cheat day. you take them to an all-you-can eat restaurant and tell them they can have as much as they want. their stomach growls on the way there as they imagine all the types of food they're going to eat. you both arrive and they hastily pile a massive amount of food on their plate. this is the first time in weeks they've been able to eat anything unhealthy... and they go all out. they devour whats in front of them, and quickly go back for more. a month ago, they couldn't even imagine eating like this... but now they can hardly control themselves. your feedee doesn't want to pass up on the opportunity to stuff themselves for as long as they can while they have the chance, so you're in the buffet for a couple hours. they only stop when they're absolutely sure they can't fit any more, with their belly jutting out under their shirt. you're sure they've got at least 10 pounds of food in their gut. you smile, knowing that your plan is working. they never could have fit this much before... you're sure this is the most they've eaten in their life.

now you say that you're going to take them off the diet plan, because of all the progress they've made... but in the process of the diet, you've made it almost impossible for them to control their hunger. their stomach got so used to being stretched every day that normal meals barely satisfy them anymore. their body always wants MORE. they only feel full when they're packed with as much food as they can possibly fit into their belly. it becomes rare for them to be seen without a noticeable gut, constantly snacking in order to fill up any possible space.

you don't even have to lift a finger anymore. every day they just gorge themselves. any pounds they actually managed to lose over the past month all come back within a week. the fact that they once couldn't stretch their stomach with ease almost feels like a distant memory at this point. eventually, they even get concerned and raise the idea of a diet again... but they give in to their newfound hunger immediately. who knows how long it would take for their stomach to get back to normal at this point...

Your fingers, shimmering with traces of oil and salt, straighten out the party-sized bag of chips you hold. The thin plastic crackles softly as you adjust it, the smell of fried starch and seasoning still clinging to the inside. It’s empty, almost. You bring the top of the bag to your lips and tilt, letting the crumbs and tiny pieces at the bottom cascade into your waiting mouth. You angle the bag higher, neck craning back just enough to make sure nothing is wasted. You shake the bag a bit, encouraging the extra calories to free themselves, to make a new home in your belly, and eventually more pounds on your frame. Not that you need it. But at times it feels like you do.

You set the bag down as you chew, hands now free to fondle the ever-growing mass in your lap. Your palms sink into the soft weight there, and the flesh gives easily, pushing back when you squeeze, your breathing slowing as you focus on the sensation. Your chair creaks faintly as you shift, making room for yourself.

You eye the nutrition facts on the bag, do some quick math in your head, trying to gauge how many calories you’ve added to your daily total, how much fatter you might get as a result. The numbers blur for a moment as your stomach tightens and relaxes under your touch, a deep pressure sitting low and wide inside you. You sigh into your gaming chair, pleased but unsatisfied, somehow. Two subs and a bag of chips later, and you still crave more, despite the fullness. The craving sits alongside the weight in your gut, a persistent pull that doesn’t fade just because you’re stuffed.

The mess before you should be evidence that you’ve eaten enough. The wrappers and crumbs litter your desk, greasy fingerprints on your deskpad, your controller. It somehow makes you glad and sad at the same time, as you typically do after a heavy meal. Glad at your accomplishment, how much fattening, indulgent slop you were able to fit into your fat gut. Sad that the meal is over. Sad that you gave in again.

Your chair leans back further, reclining as your hands trail over your belly and you consider whether you should eat more. Your gut spreads and lifts at the same time, dense beneath your palms, the skin pulled tight enough that you feel it respond immediately to your touch.

‘I’m full…’ you think, and you are. The thought comes matter-of-factly, a simple data point to consider. It lands without judgment, just an observation, like checking a gauge and noting the reading. Your stomach presses outward as you lean back, heavy in a way that’s noticeable but not punishing, fullness sitting solidly instead of sharply.

To anyone else that’d be the end of the matter. What else is there to consider? You’re full, you’ve had your fill, your belly is round and heavy in your lap. But you’re not aching, you’re not pinned to your seat by your own gluttony. You can still breathe comfortably, still move if you want to, even as the fullness makes itself known with every small adjustment.

The question isn’t really whether or not you’re full, it’s how fat you want to be tonight, how much further from healthy you want to make yourself, how much you want to regret it in the morning. The thought carries a sort of anticipatory pull, your fingers pressing more firmly into your belly as if testing how much give there still is, how much more it could take.

Your mind drifts to the myriad of snacks you know wait in the kitchen. Foods that you buy because you crave them, in massive amounts because that turns you on. The memory of stacking them into your cart comes back easily, the way greedy eyes led your choices alongside the physical effort. You’d fantasized about stuffing yourself with them even as you waddled down the aisles of the store. Only to come home, eat a fraction of your haul before you hit a wall, and feel disappointed in yourself. That disappointment settles in your chest as you think about it, your hands pausing on your belly as if weighing the feeling against the fullness already there. Whether the disappointment stems from the limits of your gluttony, or the gluttonous decisions themselves, you’re unsure. Maybe both.

You sit up, letting your belly roll forward between your thighs, greedy in how much space it takes up. The motion forces the weight to spill outward, settling with a slow shift as it claims your lap. Your legs part a little more to make room, fabric pulling where it presses against you.

‘Maybe this is enough,’ you think.

You’ve gained so much over the years, your body steadily growing, expanding until it’s the first thing people notice about you, how fat you are. You love that, but also try to hide it. It was easier when you were smaller, easier physically and mentally, when the changes were subtle enough to stay yours alone.

You indulged, with close to no consequences. None that anyone could see anyway. No one ever saw the massive amounts you’d eat in private, no one ever noticed the small belly that started to form. And you were happy with that, ecstatic even. No one ever saw how aroused those few pounds made you. Some extra padding here, a tiny new roll there, sensations you’d linger over for days or weeks. It was more than enough, at first and for a while.

You remember how it felt then, how each calorie, every meal added a little more softness to your frame, the changes slow enough that they blended into normalcy. You felt yourself getting fatter, sure, in the way your thighs spread a bit more or your chest jiggled a little when you moved. But you didn’t see it. You’d stuff yourself, cum at the feeling of fullness and the few measly pounds you’d gained, then go about your life. Your clothes would still fit, buttons closed, waistbands held, and no one was ever the wiser, comments never came. A private affair.

You reach forward, grabbing the half-empty 2-liter of soda sitting on your desk. The plastic is cool under your fingers, slightly tacky where a stray drip has dried. You lick some salt from your lips as you twist it open, the cap popping loose, and begin to drink. One gulp, then two, and another, the carbonation burning lightly as it slides down into the already packed weight in your gut.

You barely notice as your free hand makes its way to your belly, rubbing slowly as the sugary liquid bloats you even more. The pressure builds, your stomach rounding harder, pushing outward as the soda settles and spreads. A small flicker of arousal spikes as you feel yourself swell, quickly doused by the reminder that you’re trying to maintain, not gain.

Although, “trying” may not be the right word. You haven’t actually changed anything, haven’t even made much of an effort. But you think about it, sometimes. You just need to get to the right weight first. The thought lingers as you keep drinking, each swallow making your belly feel tighter, heavier.

You pull the bottle from your lips and set it down, breathing heavily after your long swig, chest rising against the fullness below. A burp rumbles up almost immediately, escaping before you bother to stop it, low and thick. It somehow makes you feel fatter, more overfilled, and reminds you of how much of a pig you are.

Your hand still rests on the bottle as the other gives your belly a jiggle, the mass wobbling under your palm, heavy enough to lag behind the motion. The movement makes your t-shirt ride up a little, exposing the curve and the way it hangs forward. There’s no missing the thing, your gut. Your shirt fits fine, in the sense that you’re covered, but it still clings to the mound, stretched smooth across it, and you wonder if you’ll outgrow this shirt too.

The thought makes you pick the bottle back up, drink a little greedier as your hands fondle your middle a little rougher. The soda sloshes as you tilt it higher, carbonation rushing into the tight space inside you. Your fingers dig in, kneading and shaking, and you moan softly as you feel your mass jiggle and quiver under your touch. A shake of your belly sends ripples upward, the movement carrying through your chest. That motion creeps higher, tugging at your double… triple chin as the weight shifts and settles again.

‘Just one big mass of fat,’ you think to yourself. Bigger than yesterday, smaller than tomorrow. The certainty of it makes you drink faster, swallowing without pause, the idea that your gain is inevitable.

You know your gain is entirely self-inflicted, even now, as you consume more calories than your body needs. But at times it feels as though you have no part in it at all, like your body is simply carrying on without your express permission. Even at times when you aren’t so greedy, when this fetish doesn’t consume you so completely, you still seem to grow. The weight increases and stays, clinging to you whether you want it to or not, whether you’re trying or not.

Or perhaps you’re just delusional, so accustomed to eating so much that restraint still results in excess.

You lean back in your chair, resigning yourself to finish the bottle, because why not. The angle forces your belly higher, and you have to stifle a burp as you continue to chug, throat tight around the constant flow, unwilling to pause and break it.

Your hand leaves your belly and moves to your chest, grabbing one of the mounds, fingers squeezing as you try to reignite the glimmer of arousal you felt earlier. It doesn’t take much these days. Or maybe it does. The hundreds of pounds you carry everywhere, the fullness of food you feel constantly, the knowledge that you’re not yet as fat as you will be, they all add up to feelings and sensations that take more effort to suppress than they do to summon.

You suck down the last of the soda and let the empty bottle drop onto your desk. It hits with a hollow clatter and rolls slightly before settling, forgotten. Your hands grasp your belly as it heaves with every heavy breath, tight and uncomfortable from the fullness.

You moan as you try to gently rub and jostle it, slow circles at first, then firmer pressure, coaxing the trapped weight to shift. The mass sloshes and resists until finally a long, drawn-out burp slips out of you, loud and uncontrolled. The sound seems to come from deep inside, pulled loose by the pressure. You sigh at the end of it, shoulders sinking as you take in the small bit of relief it gives you, but the discomfort stays, dense and present.

“Ughhh,” the strained groan slips out, carrying both satisfaction and the ache of having had too much. The waistband of your shorts suddenly feels too tight, the confines of your chair suddenly too small. And still… your thoughts drift back to the snacks. To the idea of pushing it a little further. A snack cake, or some cookies maybe. Your thoughts are modest, but you know the reality will be much worse, much more.

‘Just a little more,’ you think. You downplay it on purpose, making it sound reasonable. It’s hotter that way. So that when the inevitable spiral comes, you can really feel it, can relish in just how much control you’ve lost.

It’s hard not to let that thought excite you, especially knowing—or believing—that this lifestyle won’t last forever. That someday you’ll have to stop and rein it in a bit. But you can feel it starting now, those increasingly frequent moments where you’re constantly hungry, wanting more, eating until excess every night.

Moments that stretch on, hours or months at a time, leaving you with new habits and new pounds every time they finally pass. When every thought, positive or negative, seems to push you toward food. When you just can’t seem to get enough.

This is one of those days.

Now if you could just find the energy to get up.

You reach for your phone and open social media. The last thing you need is motivation to eat more, and yet that’s exactly what you’re looking for. The screen lights up your face as you scroll, thumb moving slowly, deliberately. Post after post slides by. Feedees showing off their gains, soft bellies pushed forward, bodies heavier than they were weeks or months ago. Feeders tempting with their bodies and food, curves, plates, captions meant to linger. Each image makes the weight in your gut feel more present, more demanding.

You keep scrolling until you come across a text post that makes you stop. It feels too specific, too well-timed, like it’s meant for you alone:

“What a fat mess you’ve turned into, sitting there all full and spent. I bet you’re already thinking about what your next meal will be, you fat fuck. What are you waiting for? Is a stuffed gut really enough to keep you from eating a little more? Don’t you want to feel the heavy, dragging weight of your own greed weighing you down? Don’t you want the satisfaction of knowing you’ve eaten enough for three, four, maybe five people today? All those greasy carb-filled, fat-heavy, sugar-drenched foods are just waiting begging for the opportunity to be gorged upon, to slip you into a food coma, to make you fatter come morning. Go chug something, tubby.”

You read the post again. Then again. The last line lingers longer than the rest. Go chug something.

Your gaze drifts from your phone to the empty bottle of soda on your desk. You’d chug more if you had it. You try to recall the contents of the fridge, mentally scanning the shelves through the fog of fullness. There’s nothing left to bloat with. Nothing except a quart of heavy cream.

The thought hits you hard. A pleasurable surge rolls through you at the image of it, thick and caloric, poured straight into you. Chugging something so rich, so fattening, in one go. On top of everything you’ve eaten today. On top of the snacks you’re still planning on filling yourself with. Your stomach feels heavier just thinking about it, your body reacting before you even move.

It’s exactly what this body needs.

You brace your hands on the armrests of your chair and force yourself up. The effort pulls a grunt out of you as the chair protests beneath your weight, and another burp comes tumbling out as you straighten. Your belly drags downward with gravity the moment you’re upright, the weight of it tugging at your spine.

The hem of your shirt has ridden up even more, bunched under your chest, but you leave it be. The exposed curve of your gut hangs heavy, the skin faintly flushed, and the sight of it makes your pulse thrum a little harder. You like seeing it like this. You like feeling it pull and sway without anything in the way. You like how fat it makes you feel.

Your walk is closer to a waddle as you make your way to the kitchen, thighs chafing with each step, belly swaying side to side in front of you, every step requiring more effort than it should. The burden of your obesity. Your breath quickens quickly, shallow and labored. A few steps in and you’re already tired, the food packed into your gut making it harder to draw deep breaths, harder to move with any real speed.

But there’s food to be eaten. Cream to be chugged. Addictions to be fed. So you waddle on.

Part of a commissioned piece, full story on Patreon.

Cw: weight gain, clothes ripping, soft feedism

*knock knock* “Princess, may I come in? I got what you asked for.” Hellen, my hand servant, said as she stood outside my room. I had an important court meeting in a few hours so I was dressed up in my formal dress, but it meant I had to skip second breakfast so I was starving. After my hangry outburst at the last meeting, I was threatened to be put on a diet. I had put on some weight in the past couple years

“Yes, please come in!” I eagerly replied.

Her slender frame gracefully entered in her maid uniform carrying a tray of food. “It took a little bribery of the cooks and the guard, but I was able to get what you asked for. I hope it is up to the standards you expect.” She explained while I was visibly bouncing in my seat with excitement.

“I’m sure it’s going to be delicious, just give it to me already!” I said teasing. She knows how excited I get about food. She took the cover off the tray to reveal my favorite foods, steak with buttery mashed potatoes and gravy, asparagus, bread rolls with even more butter, and a strawberry shortcake for dessert. I was salivating just looking at all the delicious food. Eagerly, I grabbed the utensils and started cutting my steak.

“Princess, if I may. I am concerned that your usual…eating habits may result in that dress being unacceptable for the court. You have a tendency to drop food when you’re excited. Would you prefer if I fed it to you.”

I got a little embarrassed, and I couldn’t feel my face flush red, but she was right. This dress was already tight and hard to move in, and I had a hard time being tidy in the best of conditions.

“Yes, I believe you’re right. Thank you.”

Hellen picked up the utensils and began preparing my food. As she presented me the first bite, I couldn’t believe how delicious it was. The juicy meat paired perfectly with the gravy and mashed potatoes and felt warm and comforting as it warmed my belly. I closed my eyes and squealed a bit in excitement before opening my mouth for another bite. Every bite was divine, not just because of how the food was prepared, but how she was serving it to me. After a few bites of steak, she would change to the veggies or the rolls so I wasn’t eating the same thing all the time. The contents of each fork full was perfectly balanced, severing containing too much of one thing. Slowly, my belly started feeling full and pressed against the tight fabric of the dress. I probably outgrew this one, I’ll have to ask the seamstress to make me a new one, a bigger one.

“Thank you Hellen, I’m lucky to have a servant as thoughtful as you,” I said, when I finally broke out of my food induced daze.

“Thank you for the praise, my princess. It is an honor to serve your excellency.” A slight blush broke out over her face. She tends to be reserved with me but I know how much she enjoys the praise. “Are you ready for your cake now?”

“Yes, please!” I said enthusiastically. In reality, I was starting to reach my limits, but the cake looked so delectable that I couldn’t help myself but to try it no matter how full I was.

The first bite melted in my mouth with creamy, sweet, tart goodness. I couldn’t help but let out a small moan as the treat passed my lips then open my mouth for another. I mindlessly rubbed my bloated tummy as she kept feeding me bite after incredible bite. There was about a quart of the cake left when I heard a loud *RIIIP* emanate from my side.

The seams of my dress split on the side, revealing my stretch mark lined love handles. “Oh my goodness, my princess, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to…”

“No, don’t stop!” I exclaimed. “Keep going! I want you to feed me the rest! Please don’t stop now!” I could see on her face how shocked and embarrassed she was. She was hesitant at first, but picked the fork back up and got back to work. By this point my stomach hurt from how stuffed it was, causing me to moan a little louder with every bite. Every so often I would hear a little rip as the tear in my side got bigger, letting more of squishy body push out of the side.

I opened my mouth to receive another bite, but was met with a pair of soft lips and a tongue. Gentle hands caressed my sides and bloated tummy and she kissed me deeply and passionately. I opened my eyes and to see my adorable servant lost in her own actions. Without thinking, I reached out and pressed her narrow frame against my soft body and kissed her back. Her hand massaged its way from my jiggly love handles, under the rip in my dress to my back, and gradually lower, grabbing and squeezing my fat ass.

As new-comers to this space, dipping your toes into the water and trying out this feedee thing…

You feel like you would never end up as fat as all of those BBWs in your feed. 

You feel that losing the weight would be easy for you. After all, you’ve got a fast metabolism and you’ve always been fit.

You feel like you’re different, like you’re special, like you’re immune to being permanently fat

So you dive in. You start to occasionally stuff yourself then take cute photos while sitting down in intentionally tight jeans - To exaggerate how chubby your belly is. 

You get showered in praise, encouragement and even… Humiliation. You find yourself so excited at the humiliation. 

Getting turned on by being humiliated for being fat, it just feels so taboo… So naughty…. 

For you it feels like exotic roleplay - because you’re still not fat yet and can still easily hide your belly for everyday life.

But still, the words of humiliation thrill you. 

You gain 10 pounds. Then 20 pounds. 

You start actually becoming Fat. 

So you disappear. Delete your tumblr. You start dieting and working for that 3 month transformation back to your fit body. 

Except…

That didn’t quite work out as you thought, did it? 

You did work hard and lost 10 pounds. 

But then you slipped up. You started enjoying yourself. Those subconscious thoughts that tumblr instilled in your mind unknowingly encourage you to treat yourself. Eat what you want, while feeling good about it. 

Suddenly… 

You’re back on Tumblr. You’ve regained all the lost weight and now you’re 20 pounds heavier from the time you disappeared.

You’re fat now. Not chubby. You’re fat. 

Those other BBWs in your feed don’t look so big anymore. 

You’re no longer the new fit girl on Tumblr, there’s cute new comers that have taken that place. 

You don’t need to exaggerate your belly photos anymore. You’re fat from every angle.

Anons even make before/afters for you which shock you.

Now you regret not taking more Before Photos, you realize you really don’t actually have many Before Photos in the end - i guess you thought you’d never need them because you wouldn’t really get fat. 

People encourage you to start an OnlyFans. 

So you do. Gradually being fat becomes your job. You keep getting showered with praise and humiliation. You’re horny all day. You’re eating all day. Your weight gain is spiralling out of control and now your once defined jawline and angel face are fat. You’ve got a fat face and a double chin. 

Your cute tummy has become a fat gut. 

You look so wide and heavy. You look so fat.

You’re another Tumblr feedee. Another girl that got curious. Another girl that thought she could play around with feedism without committing. 

Especially if they're starting at the same size as us. Just having a cute NEET girl move in with us, her body all tight and toned. It starts small with my partner and I cooking her bigger meals than she's used to, always with a healthy slab of butter. There's always snacks lying around the house, specially curated to her tastes so she forgets she's even overeating. After a few months she's developed a nice, soft layer of pudge over her entire body, her hips are a little wider, a bit of a double chin is coming in, her belly pushes against her leggings and dresses, and she's started to slow down a little.

Then the weight starts to pile on faster. Depending on each of our moods, one of us feeds her more intently while the other comforts her and takes care of the house. Sometimes for fun we'll whisper about her progress just loud enough for her to hear us from the next room. We talk about how much thicker and softer her thighs are, how her tits have gotten fuller, how cute she looks when she's snacking on the couch. Then we act surprised when we walk into the den and see her double-fisting a soda and an ice cream sandwich with a sly grin on her face. By this point she's solidly chubby; her thighs and belly jiggle when she walks, and she hasn't quite realized the wardrobe she started out with is much too small for her now. She totally fills her athletic shorts, which nowadays she only uses to lounge around the house, and she always needs one of us to help clasp her bra.

Fast forward another year or so, and she's completely puffed up. She'd put on at least a hundred pounds and gone through two wardrobes. The first time she popped the buttons off a pair of pants, we went out for dinner to celebrate, but now it's become a regular occurrence. Her days all blend together for the most part. My partner and I would set up our work schedules so one of us will always be home with her, preparing her meals and feeding her so she doesn't have to waste any calories standing by the stove or moving the food from her plate to her mouth. Essentially every waking moment for her is spent completely stuffed. On weekends, when we're all home together, we like to have a little extra fun. My partner and I would cook her at least five full meals a day, each a couple thousand calories, with lots of snacks and sweets in between. When she's not eating she's splayed out on the couch, puffing on her wax pen. One of us cuddles her, rubbing her belly and squeezing her tits, whispering teasing words into her ear. The other kneels on the floor between her legs, holding her gut out of the way while she eats her out. Then the timer goes off, and it's back to pigging out.

At night, we'd stand her up in front of a mirror and point out every new stretch mark and curve. We'd talk to each other about how much we loved her huge hips and her hanging gut, how cute her plush arms are, how fun it is to cup her double chin when we kiss her. We never address her directly so she can squirm in her overwhelming horniness. Sometimes we like to pull out her old clothes and help her try them on. Lately it's taken both of us just to pull her old tshirts down over her belly and breasts, at least twice as wide as they used to be.

She loves it though. She loves the attention, the humiliation, the constant care, the approval she gets when she outgrows another outfit. She loves nothing more than lounging around all day, stuffing herself to her heart's content, smoking pot, and watching TV.

okay, piggy. prove it. drink this shake every day for the next few weeks and watch what it does to your body.

ingredients:

Base:

2 cups (16oz) heavy cream 800 cals

1 cup of whole milk (add more or less depending on your desired thickness) 150 cals

A pint of melted ice cream (must be "premium" ice cream like Häagen-Dazs or Ben & Jerry's) 1,000 cals

2 servings of Mass Gainer powder (Cals are for the Dymatize Super Mass Gainer Rich Chocolate, but use whatever brand you can get your hands on) 2,500 cals

Half a can (7oz) of sweetened condensed milk 910 cals

(Optional) 1 cup of frozen banana

Add-ons:

1/3 cup of chocolate syrup and/or caramel sauce 300 cals

4 tbsp of peanut butter or hazelnut spread 380 cals

1 cup of mini chocolate chips 800 cals

1/2 cup of marshmallow fluff 165 calories

Whipped Cream (for topping)

note: these are very approximate calorie estimates based off of some very basic google searches, so they could be totally off. i'm a slut, not a scientist, so make your own calculations if you please.

Throw together your base of heavy cream, whole milk, melted ice cream, mass gainer, and condensed milk into a blender.

Then add your chocolate and/or caramel syrup, peanut butter and/or nutella, marshmallow fluff, etc.

You should skip the chocolate chips and choose an ice cream flavor without a ton of chunks/big pieces if you're planning on using a funnel.

Blend everything together, top with an obscene amount of whipped cream, and then drink up every drop like the greedy piggy you are.

This shouldn't be something that you have to choke down; substitute and add whatever sickeningly sweet toppings and add-ons that you like until you become addicted to the taste. Play with the recipe, try adding maltodextrin or melted butter or a box of cake mix. Do anything and everything to make this shake as easy to add into your daily routine as possible.

Just the base of this shake alone without any add-ons should add up to be over 5,200 calories. Do you have any idea how fat you're going to get if you're adding an extra 5000+ calories on top of your already unhealthy/high calorie diet? Imagine if you blended in a couple of those add-ons. You'll be exploding with fat in no time.

Last year I wrote a popular article about why the thin partners of fat people owe them not just their respect, care, and affection, but indeed they - we - owe them solidarity. A lot of that article is spent laying out the bigotry that fat people face in the world on a daily basis and trying to make it clear how thin people like myself can be good to the fat folks we want to be with, whether that’s sexually, romantically, or otherwise.

In many ways that article was really a prelude to something else I’ve wanted to write about for quite some time. I and many others are militant that being attracted to fat people is not a fetish. Depending on who you ask, it’s a preference or an orientation, but not something that deserves nearly the amount of hand-wringing it gets. 

However.

Being attracted to fat people is the ticket to entry to a larger world of kink and fetish-play that extends far beyond vanilla sex that happens to involve a fat body. 

Beneath the horrors of anti-fat bigotry and the beauty of relationships with or between fat people, is an entire world of sex and sexuality that centres on fatness above and beyond beautiful bodies. I have been working on this article for quite some time, but in particular with @fatliberation's recent post about feedism, I want to talk about that - and how I think it offers unique opportunities for healing.

Deviance, Fat, Fetish, and Kink

For those of us attracted to fat people, the claim that such an orientation is fetishistic has been deeply hurtful and, to most of us, is completely wrong. After all: being attracted to thin people isn’t a fetish - why would people with a different body type be any different? But it goes deeper than that. As Najarian and Nee wrote in their brilliant 2023 paper “Fat Beyond the Fetish”:

The reality of fat attraction is more complex than fetishism allows. Fat bodies are admired in fluctuating and unstable ways across social, cultural, historical, and demographic boundaries, making it impossible to provide any sort of comprehensive definition of or persuasive explanation for fat beauty. Sociological and psychological research has focused (too much) on the deviancy of fat attraction, leading researchers to speculate about, among other topics, the possibility that “fat admiration stems from an idealization of individuals who challenge social norms about sexual identity and appearance” (Swami and Tovée 2009, 90).13 While it can be useful to theorize various forms of sexual desire (related to fatness or not) that challenge dominant and restrictive standards perpetuated by many contemporary societies, imagining fat attraction as subversive and deviant sustains prevailing suspicions toward fat beauty, closeting fat bodies and the people who admire fat bodies and repositioning them outside the realm of socially acceptable behavior. This logic implicitly (and perhaps unintentionally, though perhaps not) blames individuals for failing to abide by the oppressive circumstances of the culture they inhabit rather than critiquing society for failing to account for the diversity of its population. But fat sexualities are not deviant sexualities.

The use of the word deviant here is a profound one, and for younger people like myself, it’s hard to grasp the power of what that word means, especially in a sexual context. As Peter Conrad and Joseph W. Schneider wrote in their breakthrough work Deviance and Medicalization: From Badness to Sickness (1980), there was a historical moment in post-Enlightenment Europe that led to the development of the very idea of a ‘social problem.’ Echoing historian of ideas Michel Foucault, while there’s something attractive about a move away from a punitive system of punishing sins towards ‘treatment’ of a ‘sickness,’ Conrad and Schneider are resolute that this transformation of how we viewed phenomena such as homosexuality was still tied up in many of the assumptions of prior systems. A sin, in other words, became a sickness.

This kind of thinking was what led the American Psychological Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) to declare homosexuality a mental disorder in 1952. The same normative thinking, wherein cis, straight, monogamous couples are the only way to be “healthy” similarly led BDSM to be put in the category of sexual deviancy. It took decades of queer activism to remove homosexuality as a sickness from the DSM, and for BDSM only in 2014 - and even still, the medical and psychological communities love to demonize and pathologize any form of ‘alternative’ sexualities. 

The same story is sadly even more hegemonic in terms of fatness, where its vilification has been hegemonic and virtually immovable for almost a century. As has been written about constantly by fat people and allies, fatness is a unique category of social marginalization with a huge degree of permission, and indeed encouragement from society at large. While racism, for example, often requires some minimal degree of euphemism, everyone in society (including, and indeed especially other fat people) has an incredible degree of not just permission, but indeed encouragement, to view fat people as lazy, dumb, unfeeling, unworthy, and, for our purposes here, non-sexual. 

So, if you’re someone who is attracted to fat people and, for the sake of argument, you find the idea of people (including yourself or others) getting fatter attractive, where does that leave you? What happens, in other words, if you’re a feedist? 

Before I go into the specifics of what it means to be a feedist, I want to lay out the three arguments I want to make in this essay. They are as follows: 

Firstly, the attraction towards fat people is perfectly normal, and indeed beautiful and uplifting

Secondly, any form of kink behavior related to fat people needs to be viewed through a lens of social justice and sex positivity, lest any invisible anti-fat bias creep in around the edges. 

Lastly, feedism, as a particularly reviled instance of fat-oriented kink, can offer unique pathways towards healing ant pushing back against anti-fat bias, done correctly and consensually.

Let’s dig in.

Fat Attraction

It’s almost bizarre to have to ask the question, but psychologists, sexologists, and medical practitioners have routinely explored why some people are attracted to fat people and others are not. Many of us, being peered at under the microscope, have pushed back: why? Hanne Blank, a fat activist, writes scathingly of this ‘curiosity’:

“Fat people have sex. Sweet, tender, luscious sex. Sweaty, feral, sheet-ripping sex. Shivery, jiggly, gasping sex. Sentimental, slow, face-cradling sex. Even as you read these words, there are fat people out there somewhere joyously getting their freak on. Not only that, but fat people are falling in love, having hook-ups, being crushed-out, putting on sexy lingerie, being the objects of other people’s lust, flirting, primping before hot dates, melting a little as they read romantic notes from their sweeties, seducing and being seduced, and having shuddering, toe-curling orgasms that are as big as they are. It’s only natural.”

Gurleen Khandpur, writing in Media/Culture,  follows in spirit with: “While sexual, romantic and/or intimate acts between people where at least one individual is fat (Fat Sex) are deemed atypical, abnormal, fetishistic and even abusive, such encounters between able-bodied individuals who are thin or of average weight (Thin Sex) are deemed normal and desirable” and that “fat prejudice and thin privilege underlie this discrepancy.” 

Another way to put this is to say that to classify the attraction to fat people as abnormal or, at the very least, harmful to fat people because it “encourages” them to remain fat, is to say that both fat people are inherently unattractive and unworthy of attraction, but that being fat itself is bad. (We’re not going to even indulge the “what about their health” argument here - the science is wildly complex on the relationship between fat, health, and most ‘solutions’ are merely attempts to sell something from an ideological or commercial viewpoint).

This means that when fat people - and those who find them attractive - can enjoy a genuine connection that celebrates fatness, it can have a kind of dual significance. Most of us like to feel attractive and wanted, but if you’ve been told you’re ugly, unworthy, and sinful just for existing in your body, imagine how much more significant it is to have someone who says “Nah, you’re hot just the way you are.” It’s also why, as I wrote in “You Owe Your Fat Partner Solidarity,” it’s so important that potential thin partners also understand the fat experience and be an ally to fat people as best they can. But as someone who has had the privilege to be able to share my attraction with people who hadn’t had that (consensual) experience of lust, I can tell you personally, it’s been really special both to me and them. 

Fat Admiration and Fat-Forward Sexualities

Those of us who are significantly, primarily, or solely attracted to fat bodies are sometimes labeled as “fat admirers” (FAs for short). This is a strange term in many ways because it still inherently pathologizes fat bodies - ever met a ‘thin admirer’? - but it also can be helpful in conceptualizing people who, as I say, are significantly, primarily, or solely attracted to fat people. Because of its narrowness and, for some of us, the somewhat cringey connotations around “admiration,” I’ll generally use “fat-forward sexualities” as my term of choice in this article and note the importance of the word forward for a moment.

Sexualities that significantly centre attraction to people in fat bodies are not inherently interested only in those same bodies. As an older study from 2009 showed among surveyed men who were “fat admirers” (FAs), those with a fat-forward sexuality had a much broader range of body-types that they found attractive than so-called “normal” people. As someone with this kind of attraction, I feel both proud and grateful that I have access to desire for a significant range of how humans show up in the world – and, honestly, I feel really sad for people who don’t.

Source: Wikipedia User Mewtu synthesizing data from: Swami, Viren, and Martin J. Tovée. "Big beautiful women: The body size preferences of male fat admirers." Journal of Sex Research 46, no. 1 (2009): 89-96.

At the same time as Najarian and Nee push back against fat-oriented attraction as being fetishistic, they do think there is something unique about this world, as well. As they write: 

”We have found it useful to adopt the discursive framework of what we call fat-forward sexualities, which opens a range of opportunities to theorize, articulate, and describe the alluring complexity of fat attraction and fat sexuality.” [emphasis added]

They are careful to hit home the challenge of defining any sexuality because of the inherent breadth of any sexual community and, at the same time, the danger of cementing one particular understanding that can become restricting, and even oppressive, to the people it is supposed to identify. In their “sketches” of fat-forward sexualities, they identify six features:

Attraction to fatness transcends the straight male (white) gaze and is deeply implicated in queerness; furthermore, the role of lesbians and gay men in making space for fat attraction is often overlooked and under-valued;

Attraction to fatness has often been (and to me anecdotally, is increasingly) associated with transness. Expressions of gender euphoria related to fatness are commonplace in trans communities (even at the same time as disordered eating and anti-fatness are also extremely strong) and can be deeply beautiful;

Attraction to fatness can break down familiar stereotypes even in a cis-heterosexual context, and they believe fat-forward sexuality always retains a “queer subtext,” citing from Don Kulick’s essay on fat porn in 2005 where he notes that “[fat porn] displaces erotic pleasure from the genitals and disperses it to other parts of the body, thereby reconfiguring what can count as a pleasurable body” (while also retaining a reflexively critical view of pornography, too);

Attraction to fatness takes myriad combinations, with fat people actively, happily choosing to date one another, fat people seeking out contrastingly thin partners (as some of mine have in the past), and thin people seeking out fat partners;

Attraction to fatness is not the only, and sometimes it is not even the primary reason, why someone may be attracted to a particular fat person. As I have had to say to my partner and other fat partners over the years: fat people are not interchangeable for someone with a fat-forward sexuality simply because they’re fat.

Attraction to fatness is a broad field that contains pluralities of different forms of sexual attraction, just like queerness, and there is no overarching “right” way to embody a fat-forward sexuality.

Because of the diversity of experiences, orientations, and, unfortunately, the range of positive and negative behaviours from those with fat-forward sexualities, one of the groups that are most suspicious of fat admirers are often fat people themselves. This is because there can be so much internalized shame about being attracted to fat people that sometimes their worst abusers can be the people who find them most attractive. One of the tamest, but most common versions of this is the “secret fat girlfriend” (sadly, women generally get this the most), but there are other, more ugly instances of this kind of internalized shame being taken out on others in cruel and dismissive ways.

There is a great deal written about how badly fat people are treated in the dating and sex world, including by their would-be admirers, but fat voices can, should, and do speak for themselves in this respect.

And while I am frustrated that people like me need an identifying label just for being attracted to people we find hot, being attracted to fat people is beautiful. I feel deeply grateful that, for whatever unknown reason, I have been wired to find softness beautiful to behold and sensuous to touch.

More important than my take as a thin person, however, is what fat people themselves are saying:

Marie Southard Ospina, writing about her experience as a fat person encountering Big Beautiful Women (BBW) and Big Handsome Man (BHM) porn, notes appreciatively the “images or clips of fat babes lovingly caressing their bellies, zooming into the waves of their bodies as they dance, posing like classic pin-ups, or delighting in the movement of their jiggling thighs. They capture their fatness in ways we are told, both overtly and covertly, are off limits for people without flat tummies and thigh gaps.” And that: “In all the content I’ve seen, though, fatness is framed as intriguing, powerful, sensual and beautiful. There is no hint of shame – a word that is arguably meant to govern our entire sense of self-understanding as fat people.”

I could write a treatise on the different fat people I’ve found attractive, but Ospina’s writing here about why she likes people like me says more than I think I ever could: 

“It’s people who think every stretch mark and roll is a turn-on who subsequently turn me on; people who know that I want them to bite and suck and dig their fingers into every inch of my body, as anyone remotely kinky of a smaller size might want and expect of partners.”

Feedism 

All of this preamble pushing back on the bigotry that fat people, and, to a lesser extent, those of us who find them attractive, face, is to really hit home just what a unique category of social exclusion fatness really is. I have yet to see any evidence why being attracted to fat people is bad in any way, let alone a form of fetishism, any more than being attracted to someone particularly tall, muscular, or with red hair is. But that’s about a generality; now I want to talk about a particularity:

Kinks and fetishes generally take shape in one of two ways: either someone is attracted to something fairly common and has a fixation and need for that thing that it becomes a core part of their sexuality above and beyond what it means to others, and/or they are attracted to things that are generally considered non-sexual (e.g., feet, knives, diapers, etc.). 

In the context of fatness, if we correctly reject the premise that being attracted to a fat body itself is abnormal, then there is still an entire world that exists as part of that latter category of traditionally non-sexual things that have become sexual for some. This, to me, is where the conversation about feedism starts.

Academic literature on feedism is woefully inadequate and often sex-negative and pathologizing. Most often they make the mistake of equating a heightened attraction to or preference for fat people as the same as feedism (which, a la Najarian and Nee, it is obviously not), but the occasional articles from the early 2000s generally are resolute in perceiving feedism as a unsalvageably patriarchal, dehumanizingly fetishistic, and anti-fat practice. I won’t bother to mention the gonzo journalism that has largely defined coverage on feedism since the very beginning and largely continues to. 

One of the earliest articles to “define” feedism, in 2004 Social Semiotics paper, states: 

“Feederism [sic] is an underground fat sexual practice that involves women who allow themselves to be submissively force-fed through a funnel by a dominant male master, who derives sexual excitement from watching his submissive servant grow fatter and fatter as he forces her to eat more and more. [...] Disturbingly, men who engage in this sexual practice fetish (known as “feeders”) often force-feed the feedee to the point where she is completely is immobilized.” 

A more nuanced and empirical, though still somewhat negative, study on feedism in 2013 in the International Journal of the Social Sciences concluded that:

“[W]hen it comes to feederism, men are still in control of the behavior and of how women are portrayed and treated as feedees. Although some of the [circa 2012 feedist] websites discussed here may be advancing transgressive ideas about fat women as sexual beings, the objectification of women as sex objects is further perpetuated by these same websites. [...] At its extreme, ideas about control over women involve manipulating their bodies using dangerous means, and the lines between consent and sexual assault are blurred. Consent is a difficult term to define in a culture where patriarchal values about sex have been internalized by members of society. Still, [online feedist spaces have] the potential to create loving, supportive communities for people of size rather than exploitative communities that mimic the offline world”

A smattering of papers and articles, such as Don Kulick’s 2005 book of essays on fat, and a masters thesis in 2008 by Alyshia Bestard, Feederism: an Exploratory Study into the Stigma of Erotic Weight Gain, were some of the first attempts to treat feedism with a more curious, and occasionally appreciative, approach. Both from her interviews and secondary research, Bestard defined “feederism [sic]  asexual practice where participants are aroused by thoughts and actions pertaining to weight gain either in themselves or in another person.” Encouragingly, Bestard concluded that her interviewees all expressed autonomy and pragmatism around both their fantasies and (often rare) real-world practices in feedist dynamics, especially as it related to weight gain. 

The largest and most encompassing study of feedism is Kathy Charles’ and Michael Palkowski’s 2015 Feederism: Eating, Weight Gain, and Sexual Pleasure (summarized in a great interview). They interview 23 feedists of all orientations and focus on a series of questions that delve deeply and with care into the origins, experiences, and challenges of living as a feedist. To summarize the whole study would do it a disservice, but there are a few things worth noting:

Firstly, while weight gain is an essential element to almost every study participant, many respondents felt that they shared a broader sense of connectivity around the transgressiveness of attraction to, sex with, and the aesthetics around fat people and fatness.

Secondly, the researchers noted with surprise just how young many feedists earliest inclinations emerged in early childhood.

Thirdly, as the authors say: “the interviewees in this research presented a very different picture [than the one in popular culture] with agency at the heart of how they talked about themselves and feederism” and that the rejected binaries around feeders and feedees and “preferred subtle variations that eliminated the implied power dynamic.”

And lastly, and most importantly, both the authors identified the diversity of both people who identified as feedists and the ways in which they practiced (i.e., from the purely fantastical to the materially intense); this breadth, they said, is almost completely unrepresented in any other popular or academic representations.

In their conclusion the authors felt it  was possible to be an ethical, healthy feedist, provided one practiced with what we might today call a risk-informed kink practice and with an awareness of individual health needs, physical, emotional, or otherwise. Despite its age, and its methodological limitations (e.g., 23 interviews), Charles’ and Palkowksi’s book remains one of the definitive texts on the community. 

Subsequent research, limited though it has been, has largely tended to agree with this characterization, while still noting that kink-related safety, particularly for fat participants, remains problematically underdeveloped. Najarian and Knee’s recent work to de-stigmatize fat-related sexual behaviour is one of the most full-throatedly supportive academic works that even touches on feedism. Although almost a decade old now, Bestard's and the Charles-Palkowski studies remain some of the most encompassing and rigorous to date. The dearth of research on feedism, even within fat studies itself, continues to be a significant issue.

Feedism in its Own Terms

I cannot begin to speak for the feedist community in all of its breadth. As a member of that community, though, and one who situates myself firmly in relation to other movements like fat liberation and sex-positive feminism, I do think I can offer a little insight from my vantage point to start to clarify and cohere the rough terrain of feedism today.

Feedism (or, archaically, “feederism”) I define aa a field (rather than a unity) of kinky orientations, behaviours, practices, preferences, language, beliefs, and fantasies that all exist as part of, and yet also go beyond, the experience of fat admiration. Elements beyond fat admiration involve sexualization of aspects of the fat experience, including sometimes negative experiences (e.g., ill-suited clothes, furniture, etc.), food and eating, and bodily transformation.Any aspect of this field can take place with a partner or alone, and by and with fat and thin people, together or alone. 

Note that I have and will consistently refer to feedism as a kink and not a fetish to mark the distinction between a desire (a kink) for this particular non-traditional sexual experience amongst feedists, and a non-negotiable, or sometimes pathological need (a fetish, or a paraphilia) for it, which exists for some, but certainly not all feedists.

While I believe all feedists are necessarily implicated in some sort of fat-forward sexuality, such as being a fat admirer, it is important to note that not every person with a fat-forward sexuality is necessarily a feedist. 

Source: author.

From both my lived experience and reading the academic literature, I have come to see feedism as having four fundamental components that mix and mingle to produce innumerable individual experiences. 

Source: author.

These components are very broad, and many feedists will only show up partially, and sometimes not at all, in different aspects, but collectively they represent the broad field that I concieve of as feedism, and necessarily each creates a sub-spectrum or spectrums within which feedist identities are formed.

Firstly, almost all feedists have some kind of overarching attraction to or with fatness, whether in themselves or others. Because feedists live in all types of bodies, some of the variations of attraction may run in one or multiple directions: someone may like their fatness to be attractive to others; some may like fat in general, including theirs; and some still may only be attracted to fatness in others. Each is as valid as any other. Sizes and shapes of attraction within the community vary immensely: some people may be attracted to a person, including themselves, with a stuffed, non-pregnant belly that’s comparatively thin, while others may prefer people as large as  “inifini-fats.” The image of feedists only being attracted to people who are immobile is categorically wrong and harmful not just how feedist are perceived, but also ignores the beautiful diversity of

Secondly, many feedists have a specific and sexual attraction to the imagery, noises, senses, smells, and feelings related to eating and food, often in large quantities. Some feedist blogs, for example, will intersperse images of fat people with GIFs of food being cooked, served, or eaten without any reference to a body at all. Furthermore, some feedists enjoy listening to and/or recording the sounds of food being digested, burps, or other bodily and/or social processes related to food and eating. 

Thirdly, many feedists have a sexual attraction to the lived reality of, and/or fantasies related to, bodily transformation, especially weight gain, but also variously the enlargement of particular body parts (e.g., breast, ass, stomach, feet, etc. “expansion”). In this sense, feedism often overlaps with people who have “transformation” or “expansion” fetishes, such as those related to giants/esses, inflation, blueberries (yes, you read that right), breast expansion, transformations related to monsters or furries (e.g., werewolves), or otherwise. This range of attraction is important to characterize as having both an in-person and fantastical dimension: some feedists, whether because of internalized anti-fatness or otherwise, may choose never to engage with physical changes in their own or others’ bodies. In addition, some feedist's desires exist only in fantastical terms; there are lots of people in the community who enjoy fantasies of fatness on a cosmic scale, with people reaching the size of planets or galaxies. This is considerably less common, but insofar as it’s a fantasy that exists in writing and visual art, it’s mostly harmless. There’s a massive amount of breadth in this particular aspect of the kink, but the common touch-point here is that there’s generally a visual or narrative experience of someone experiencing something growing larger. Amusingly, the timeline of this can range from the instantaneous to things that occur over the course of decades or more. 

Lastly, and perhaps most sensitively, many feedists have a specific attraction to particular aspects of the lived experiences of fat people. The aspects of this component of feedism are easily the most wide-ranging component of feedism. Elements of feedist attraction related to the fat experience could include things like:

Celebration of physical aspects of fatness, like stretch marks, that are often derided as negative;

Play, both negative and positive, with the real or fantasized needs of a person in a fat body, particularly related to the eroticisation of care, like being served food, helped with daily chores, bodily cleanliness, and so on;

Play, both negative and positive, with different aspects of how fat bodies interact with the world, like whether or not they fit furniture, clothing, or infrastructure;

Play, both positive and negative, with different elements of language related to fatness, such as affirmative pet names (“my little chubster”) or consensual degradation (“you’ve really let yourself go”). As with any kink, done consensually and in a risk-aware way, anything is possible to be played with, but meaningful kink- and fat liberation-education are essential to doing this in a way that can preserve safety and, ideally, open up opportunities for healing. On this last count, for example, for some people, language that could be considered obscene (“my fatty” / “my piggy”) may be considered deeply intimate and meaningful between consenting partners;

Play, both positive and negative, with symbols of the fat experience that are generally held against fat people, such as scales, weigh-ins, bodily changes, or otherwise.

Any kind of play with negative stereotypes, no matter how consensual and potentially liberating, will always stir challenging reactions from people who witness it without context, and especially if they have non-consensual lived experience with that stereotype. For fat folks in particular, generally used to life-long marginalization and social ostracisation, I don’t blame them in the slightest. Seeing a feedist engaging with fat people on the internet, especially women, in a way that either explicitly plays with fatphobic tropes or, as I have often seen, openly celebrates fatness too much, can create an incredibly negative and sometimes traumatic reaction for all involved, but especially for that fat person.

The important thing to communicate, both from the perspective of creating safety for those who might wish to play in feedist spaces, and for analytical rigour, is that feedism is a wide-ranging kink with innumerable facets, sub-communities, and personal ways that it shows up. That diversity, with the proper safety protocols in place, means there can be space for anyone who wants to dive in.

Feedist Dynamics 

The above pillars of feedism are the most general conceptualization of the contours of someone’s sexual experience. You can almost think of them as breaking down the acronym of BDSM which, as we all know, only begins to crack the surface of what it means to be in the kink world. If you’re a feedist and you’re attracted to some aspect of the four pillars, this still says nothing about your role in a feedist dynamic. There are two key considerations here.

Source: author.

Firstly, feedism has a range of roles that people can take on and move between within scenes and relationships. There are four overarching roles, with many subtle nuances underneath -- each of these roles can be inhabited by a person of any gender or sexuality and multiple roles can be inhabited at the same time.

Feedees - feedees are people who enjoy the experience of being fed and/or gaining weight. They may remain thin or fat, or change to become fatter or thinner, over the course of a scene or relationship. Their size is not the determining factor in their identification - rather it is the role they wish to fulfill in a given context.

Feeders - feeders are people who enjoy feeding people and/or watching and helping them gain weight. As noted above but especially important with feeders, this role is not singular and may be inhabited with one or all of the others within the feedist pantheon.

Gainers - gainers is a term, firstly, often used amongst gay men to refer to those who wish to gain weight. In broader usage, however, it is sometimes used to distinguish feedees who enjoy being fed but do not wish to gain weight, from those who wish to gain weight, even if no one is actively feeding them. Someone who gains weight erotically if they do not have a partner may be called a ‘solo-gainer.’

Encouragers - an encourager is a loose term for someone who is a fat admirer and enjoys watching eroticised weight gain, but does not actively feed a partner. 

Maintainer - a maintainer is another loose term for someone who has reached a particular size, perhaps after being a gainer and/or a feedee, and while likely (though not always) maintaining a relationship to that prior identity has now "arrived" at a particular point of weight or size and is maintaining that puporsefully - in some bodies, it is worth noting, this may take considerable work, so, a maintainer should not necessarily be perceived as a passive role.

Each of these roles is often highly dynamic over the course of a person’s life. Many feedees can develop feeder tendencies, and vice versa, and the body sizes of everyone involved in the kink can and often do change dramatically over the course of their normal lives. I’m more of an encourager myself and I have put on weight in relationships I have been in, even when my partner did not.

Everyone's bodies are changing all the time, but some of us have the good sense to eroticise that. Lucky us, huh?

Secondly, and returning to BDSM, each of these roles takes place within the context of a power dynamic. It’s important to say that in any relationship with a fat and thin partner, just like an interracial couple, there is an inherent social imbalance of power. But how we are treated in society doesn’t necessarily reflect the dynamic in the bedroom. 

Increasingly in sex we talk about tops and bottoms, and, in kink communities, obviously, we think about domsDoms and subs, but it’s important to map out the distinctions here as a reminder of how they relate to the more specific instances of kink. 

Tops and bottoms, specifically understood, refer to the physical roles that people play - i.e., are they generally on top, directing the sexual experience, on the bottom, in a position of receiving, or are they versatile?

Dominants and submissives are, as the name suggests, social roles about how we express dominance or submission, to whom, and in what contexts (which, if you’re a switch like me, will vary). 

All can show up in a large variety of combinations, all of which can be quite fluid.

Souce: author

Imagine this example:

A fat femme is wearing a strapon and penetrating her thin male partner from behind. She’s eating a doughnut and telling her partner how much bigger she’s going to get than him with each thrust and what a pathetic little worm he is for being so small.

We’ve just witnessed a fat woman who’s a top, a feedee, a Domme, and it sounds like has a bit of a humiliation kink. There are plenty of these people in the world, but we don’t often let them take the spotlight (if you know any more, honestly, please send them my way). The diversity in any kink scene is always its greatest strength.

Risk Aware Consensual Kink in the Context of Feedism

This is both a very broad overview of feedism, and a fairly anodyne one. I’m not talking about the social imbalances between fat and non-fat partners that exist generally, and the many ways that people can get hurt in a feedist dynamic - just like in any kink-related context. Consent and prioritizing safety are key at every step of the way. Predators and malefactors, sadly, do exist and, to push back on a stereotype, they exist at every size and within every role in feedism, just like they do in any community. 

There is sadly a complete dearth of risk aware consensual kink (RACK) materials that feedists can draw on, but its general principles can and should be adapted to inform feedist play and thinking. It’s worth going back and reading Gary Switch’s original writing on the origins of RACK out of the idea of “Safe, Sane, and Consensual” kink practices. The metaphors that Switch uses, too, of BDSM being like rock climbing - easy to create safety in, but never 100% danger-free - are readily applicable. In essence, embracing RACK in a feedist relationship means at a minimum:

Creating space for informed and ongoing consent in the relationship or dynamic, and each aspect of it;

Creating safety, both physical and emotional, for each of the partners in both scenes and beyond the bedroom - and while in the case of fatness, we may jump immediately to questions of health, the emotional needs of both partners are absolutely critical here, too. 

Practicing aftercare during a scene and actively dialoguing as play partners, lovers, friends, or community members about fatphobia and how it impacts the different members of a scene or interaction.

Feedism as a Healing Kink 

I’ve had the privilege over the past few years to finally ‘come out’ to partners and a few friends as a feedist. The experience has been truly life-changing. After years of being terrified of rejection by lovers and other people I care about, I’ve come to see that there is a small but mighty community of people who want to celebrate fat bodies (theirs or others), fight back against fatphobia, and have unique, beautiful erotic experiences while we do so. I’ve never been in a gaining dynamic with a partner and, given its real-world rarity, I have my doubts I ever will; but that doesn’t matter to me as much as you might think. 

One of the reasons that it doesn’t is that I have been able to witness the truly transformative power of partners understanding that the changes in their body are not ones they ever have to be ashamed of around me. I had a partner recently who stepped on the scale for the first time in years and cried as I held them, knowing just that seeing the numbers was arousing to me and that whatever they said, they had nothing to fear about how much I was attracted to them. Other partners have played with unintentional weight gain and ill-fitted clothes - turning what might normally have been a mortifying and brutalizing experience into something fun and sexy. Sometimes we play with the language of fatness as a way to reclaim and desensitize what those words mean: when someone is my beautiful fat darling, it can help take some of the stings off of it. 

Feedism, like BDSM, includes a massive range of things that people find attractive. Some of those will be quite disturbing to the more vanilla folks in the world - and especially to those who have not disentangled their own internalized fatphobia. But like all good kinks, the opportunity to de-stigmatize, to celebrate the unusual, and to be our weird, wonderful selves is the ultimate joy. Bon appetit.

Resources

Feedist Resources 

Feedism & Fat Liberation Action Points | Feedists for Fat Liberation 

Resource List - feedism and fat liberation | Cheeseburgers in Paradise, Tumblr  

How do you feel about fat kinks? | RIOTS, NOT DIETS!, Tumblr

How Kink Helped Me to Learn to Love My Fat Body | Kinkly 

6 Assumptions About Fat Fetishism I'd Love For Us to Reconsider | Everyday Feminism 

Fat and Kink Resources

BBW Porn Encouraged Me to Have Better Sex | Vice

Being A Fat, Black Femme in Kink | Spectrum Journal 

Plus Size Women Are Reclaiming Cow Print After Years Of Fatphobic Jokes | Refinery29

Personal Stories

“Such a pretty face”: What it’s like to date while fat | Vox 

Take The Cake: Secret Relationships With Fat Women | Ravishly