incandescence

even though you wanted what was "best" for me, it appeared as though you were trying to control me because you were controlling everyone's perception of "us" which is something non-existent in the first place. i kept on calling you out regarding that matter, i kept on setting my boundaries with you, and i'm always the one adjusting. i knew all along that you were trying to guilt trip me but i always let it pass because i'm really trying hard to become a nice person but you've overdone it. you blamed me for your drama and all. at isa pa yan si mark eh. kung anu-ano pinagsasabi. pareho lang kayo lmao. sinasabi ko na lang na kasalanan ko at nagguilty ako (kahit hindi talaga) para mapagaan yung situation for you kasi honestly may pake naman ako sayo nun. pero di mo nagets. kahit sa twitter dinala mo yung pang vverbal abuse mo at pangguilt trip mo sakin and sinasadya mo talaga. tbh nandidiri ako sa fact na you'd go down THAT low. di mo rin nagets na pinilit ko lang yung sarili ko to have "sex" with you because you were guilt-tripping me so much to the point na di ko na alam kung ano ba dapat ibigay ko para lang matapos na. tbh i dont even consider that "sex". di yun kasama sa count ko because feeling ko i raped myself for you. it wasnt pleasurable for me and sobrang ramdam ko na you only see me (and women in general) as an object and to top it off, pinagmayabang mo pa talaga. ano ako, trophy? object? di ako tao para sayo, noh? talk about "nice" guy. pinagmayabang mo yung super super pinaka bad "sexual" experience sa buhay ko hahaha. pinaparinggan mo pa ko sa twitter nun na "nice guys finish last" lmao nakakarindi tbh. at hirap akong sabihin sayo lahat ng to kasi baka masaktan ka. i literally think na feeling mo sayo umiikot sayo yung mundo kasi ngangawa ngawa ka porket di mo makuha gusto mo. seems like sanay na sanay ka na you always have it your way eh. honestly yung ineexpect kong reply mo dito (kung magrereply ka man) is sakin mo na naman sisisihin lahat pero wala na ko pake. at least i got my message across kung di mo pa rin gets then i got no problem anymore. for me lahat ng nangyari wasnt a "long time" ago because ito yung long term effect ng damage e. alam ko naman na may share din ako ng kasalanan pero damn, i didnt really think you'd go down that low, man. all along gusto ko lang naman maging better pero why does it seem like gustong gusto mo akong pabagsakin? nung time na sobrang hung up ko pa kay m parang ako pa yung masamang tao? tapos apparently nagpaalam ka pala sakanya kung pwedeng "ikaw naman" lmaoooo sobrang puta lang. wala kayong respeto enough para kausapin ako ng maayos. tapos kung anu ano pa sinasabi mo behind my back. tapos sakin mo sisisihin kasi you have no sense of accountability. sobrang baliw mo wala ka na sa tamang wisyo.