what

lumpy boy. displeasing color. disgusting gradient shading as usual. the trademark soulless stare of an apple brand emoji. not feeling this bear. 1/5

beautiful round friend. perfect boy. scientifically, nothing wrong with this bear. google giving us the crowd pleaser as usual. 5/5 perfect score

i wasn’t sure whether i should even include this one. like is this a fucking lion or what? weak. get bill gates’s artsy garbage out of my sight. 0/5

perfectly acceptable boy. cuteness makes up for lazy gradient shading and unfortunate color palette. a bear i can get behind. 4/5

he’s shiny and he’s doing his best but i just cannot get over that mouth. who looked at this and though ‘yes these are a bear’s correct and actual proportions’ 2/5 why the long face

scheming. plotting. good colors, clean lines. i love this bear but i do not trust him. 3/5 he :3c

i just… dont know, my man. they made it just realistic enough to teeter on the edge of uncanny valley. that mouth. those eyes. this bear feels pain. free him. 1/5

the friendliest boy. the sweetest boy. the fluffiest boy. this bear is always welcome in my circle of friends. 5/5 another perfect boy

this one looks like some kind of weird dog but it’s not as bad as microsoft’s. i’ll give it a pass but it’s treading on thin ice. 3/5

highly superior execution of apple’s lumpy boy. clean lines. good face. i support this young man 4/5

this is such a rude portrayal of these sweet sweet boys. let him smile. let him know love. 1/5