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I've gotten laid because of Aziz Ansari. Since Parks and Recreation, his book Modern Romance, his comedy specials, and his fantastic TV show -Master Of None, my job of impressing and connecting with women was made so much easier. Women knew his stuff and saw his Indian face, which made me more accessible now. I've used his stuff as a jumping off for conversations on dates to appear to be so smart and introspective like him. And it's worked! But now, after what has come out, I don't know what's going to happen. Will it become harder for me now? How am I going to get affected? I made this whole thing about me.

I write the word "REVENGE" with a sharpie on all my ice cream so my mom always knows how to serve it the best way possible. 

I will sometimes not compliment someone on something small because I don't want the same polite compliment reciprocated back to me. Because I can't respond to that authentically. I won't say, " hey that's a pretty dress" because they will most likely say, " Thanks. That's a nice shirt (or dress)" because they're being nice. Like, I could make someone's day by complimenting them, but I rid them of that joy because it would make ME feel awkward...Also, because I like to play God.

I've just decided to start my own brand of confectionery products titled - "Totes". The first product will be a new brand of clear translucent fruit flavored spread called "TOTES' JELLY!". It's going to be so good it will plant the seed of envy in my competitors

@galifianakisz  Sounds great on paper. Literally. #funnyshit 

I got the right weights and A tip to survive AB RIPPER X. P90X Lean. Day 17.

I just bought a Baseball cap with the ADIDAS logo on it. I feel like ADIDAS got me twice. I not only had to pay to wear the hat AND now they get free advertising all day with their ADIDAS logo on my forehead. So in order to get them back, I thought I’d flip it so that their logo is now on the back which won’t be seen by nearly as many people. But then I realize they have bought the real estate on the back of the cap too with the same sign. They got me for the 3rd time. And now I look like a douche with the backwards ADIDAS baseball cap. That’s the 4th time ADIDAS has got me. It’s like, I can never win.

I sometimes wonder how other cultures sat down before the invention of the chair, before my ancestors invented sitting down "Indian Style". I imagine it like, " Hey guys! Guess what I just saw those crazy Indian people do. They just kinda like placed their bums on the floor, and then just like, bent their knees so that they're like crossed or something and then rested their thighs on their heels. It's like totes cool!" ...In my head all other ancient cultures sound like 21th century stereotypical teenage girls.

"I can't see physical changes so far!!":( Day 16 P90X Lean.

I did the Bonus Round for the first time! P90X Lean Day 15.

Combat Lazy Sunday with X Stretch! Day 14 P90X Lean.

How to get through week 2 After the euphoria of Week 1. P90X Lean.

Fuel Yo' self fool! Day 12 P90x Lean.

Sometimes faking into thinking that you're doing great helps! Day 11 Yoga X P90X.

BAD Days in P90X - Day 10. I had a good day yesterday. I had a bad day today. Here's how I felt and how I tackled it. My 3rd encounter with Ab Ripper X. Day 10 - Shoulders and Arms, Ab Ripper X.