my_spaxe

From Shattered Pen - 

At some point in my life, I feel like I'm losing all my will to live. I feel like it's easier to give up than to continue fighting for an endless battle. Sometimes I'm tired of lying to myself that everything will be okay— that I'll be happy again and I'm going to heal from all the heartaches that I've been bearing. There are times where I feel like I'm losing hope in everything and I am just moving with the flow of life. I could no longer find any motivation to survive a day, I just live my life as if I have no other choice but to wake-up and get up in bed. Behind every smile that I show to everyone, there is a dead soul inside me. Most days, I feel like I'm drowning in sadness. I don't know what to do, I don't know how to tell anyone that I am not okay all along. I'm tired of being resilient. I'm tired of acting so strong. For the first time after how many years of being brave, I want to admit that I am so tired of this life and I don't wanna be sad anymore. I no longer want to feel like dying with the pain that I've been keeping inside. I'm tired, and I feel so lost at the same time.— 

Shiori XArt: Shaza Wajjokh

I am this person who thinks that all the happiness in the world isn't for me. Yes, I am that sad of a person. Crying myself to sleep is a daily routine. Overthinking is a skill I can't stop doing. And I hurt myself by creating fake scenarios where I was there smiling, laughing, and happy, where in real life I would never be any of those.

Now, do you really think, someone out there will love someone like me? I think I am the problem. I sabotage everything, including the chance of being loved. Perhaps, this is my curse.

Words and Photo by Ronelo Dologuin

Mute the world, Silence the Crowd, Fall in love with yourself this time, You allowed yourself to be too distracted and have been too Focused on the Voices of Strangers, The Reaction of Society, and the Judgement of the World that you've Adjusted your life based on What Others think of You, Always Remember, that only by the Time you've Detached Yourself from the Society, is the Time You can Prioritize Yourself.

This time, You Stop caring what other people think about you, Just do whatever makes your heart happy, Read books, Speak less, Write often, Eat alone, Take yourself on dates, take time to understand & Love and Accept who you are.

May we all be detached enough from our personas that we do not care what others think of us, since we recognize that whatever they see is only a small fragment of the whole, A Fraction of a Diamond that you yourself Knew.

You are divine in every sense of the word, You are a multidimensional being trying to simplify your essence into words. You are beyond words and people are just trying to simplify you when they judge you."

This Time, Focus on you, Remember that Yourself also Needs you, And Your Future self depends on you.

Always Prioritize Yourself,

You Got You.

-Prince J.

But love is very unpredictable. When you came, we made so much memories that I thought we would never last. Then, you left me binging to these memories-- wishing you have the word "comeback" in your vocabulary.

Yet, the hardest part of having these assumptions, it is when I don't want to remember anything, it will come unexpectedly. And if I want to reminisce all those times we had, there were no memories flashing back. That's hard when all you had were memories to look back on and not the person whom you made those with.

I hate comebacks for a reason that it eradicates self-worth, but look at me now, starving to get you back-- with all those memories and you, yourself.

Words by Aki

It's okay to be sad.

It's okay to feel anxious, drained or lost.

It's okay to not feel okay.

Unpleasant emotions will come up. They are a part of life.

And through accepting instead of suppressing those feelings, you get a chance to work through and heal what is hurting you."

~Nepenthe

She heard. "Why?"

"Just because."

"Why?" She repeated, her tone making it clear that she's not letting it drop. "I mean, I'm just someone with puzzled thoughts and a thousand insecurities. I don't even know if I belong anywhere and if I'll ever find my place. I'm just someone with scattered pieces of myself floating in this universe. I'm broken and I don't even have a shape anymore."

The pain in her voice made me feel sad, so I answered honestly.

"Do the stars in the night sky look organized to you?" I began, looking at the stars. "Because to me, they're just like moondust sprayed across each corner of the universe, with no pattern or shape to make." Then I looked at her moonlit face and smiled a little. "And yet, they're beautiful."

My voice was so low it was almost a whisper, but the way her lips curved assured me that she heard.

—Jun Mark Patilan

Artwork: wifi313

—sheng