No One

I know this is a bit late, I had saved this post to be published the day before my birthday, but better late than never.

These last 4 years have been a roller coaster of situations. Back then, I was after what I needed, and now I am after what I want. Despite these being the best years of my life, after some great jobs, amazing people, travels to places I did not even know existed, I am somewhere in my life I never expected to be.

Back in November 2017, I was this weird closeted guy. I was always overthinking every single situation, and I possessed some awful negative sarcasm skills. And I have to mention this is the moment I left what I used to believe about life.

I always remember when I had this talk with a friend of mine where I asked him what his plans for life were. His answer was something I could not believe: I don't know, life will tell. At the moment, all I could honestly think was that it was a mediocre contemplation of the future.

Until that moment, I felt everybody always appreciated that I was always so concerned about the future. But well, that is a story for another day. What is important to mention is how right my friend was. His words meant too much for me, I never told him it was a mediocre vision, but every time I remember the moment, I want to start apologizing.

Now, I am turning 29. Back when I was 18, I had this picture of myself living in a small flat, somewhere in London near a park, where I would take my dalmatian for a walk while I drank some cheap coffee I just bought in a corner café.

I'm clearly not there and, I wonder now, what am I to do? I am after what I want, but wanting is relative. Much of what I want at the moment is moulded by what everybody expects from me. It looks like the goal of most things I try to achieve is just trying to impress people.