fries.

the earth is actually flat but it rotates like a doom sprite when anyone tries to look at a different angle

>“nvm fixed it” >“hey i got this same problem, can you tell me how you managed to make it work?” >“sure I pm’d you the fix” last reply: August 3 2002

There are two kinds of people. Those who think, “I don’t want anyone to suffer like I did.” And those who think, “I suffered; why shouldn’t they?”

confirmed

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Lizard D E T E C T E D

The real glo up is when you stop waiting to turn into some perfect hypothetical version of yourself and consciously enjoy being who you are in the present moment.

If I touch my phone in the right places, pizza will show up at my front door.

what the fuck is that and why is it all sad and alone

look at its haircut haha nerd

moments when grls r Extra pretty : • the lil smile when they put on blush • tying up their hair - bonus points if she pulls out a few strands at the front to frame her face • putting on lotion - bonus if she rubs some on your hands cuz she took too much • pulling their hair out from under a scarf or jacket • when there’s like stray glitter on their faces ? shimmer blush ? eyeshadow ? who knows but it’s angelic • wearing Anything that is too big for them. in general - 2x bonus if it’s yours • when they receive a hot drink and hold it with both hands and just sort of put their face right up close to it

I want to be a mature adult and work and make a name for myself and become successful but I also want to lie face down on the floor and eat ice cream in my pajamas all day and never go outside do you see my dilemma.

The amount of times I’ve had an idea but discovered it’s already been invented, I can’t help but think I would of been a millionaire if I was born 100 years earlier

like I knew people were stupid but this is another low 

What if we all hold hands around the White House and don’t let Obama leave

The fuck is going on America trump is leading I can’t believe this shit. You seriously think he cares about you people he only cares for his own winning he won’t help you. He can’t even hold a proper argument or control his Twitter account and you think he can handle a country