#dfsquad

Character Bio: Allen

im just a noob okay so ~disclaimer~

  “shaddup,” snarled nawon as she glared at justin, “you don’t know me bruh”

“whatever, go to hell,” he retorted, followed by a mumbled, “just kidding”

  ———unnecessary tangent by justin here—-

Nawon blurted out, “omg justin ur so awesome”

Justin responded, “yeah totally, right. Nawon thanks for understanding!”

Nawon quickly got on her knees and bowed down, announcing, “I admit, Justin Koo is so much better than me.”

———–> (OMG I THOUGHT SHE JUST GOT ON HER KNEES; HANNAH AND SAB PLS TELL ME YOU KNOW WHAT IM THINKING LOL -GC) uh pls grace no

(I didn’t change anything else. Trust me, i promise. Lol)

SCREW U JUSTIN WHAT TEHELL

————-

  he smacked a mosquito in the air, using his, quote-on-quote, “ninja reflexes.”

  They bickered, as always, while trudging through the jungle in the sweltering heat.  They were without any sort of technology to help them navigate their way. All they had was the clothes on their backs and the knowledge gained from eleven years of public schooling.

“wait! i have my comb!” justin said as he pulled the black, plastic Conair from the back pocket of his jeans.

nawon stopped to turn around and give him her signature, “i’m-judging-you” look.

“what if samurais pop out of those bushes and send us to the future to be slaves of their evil…” he said, thinking aloud.

they came to a dead end, an old rusty fence barely visible beneath the intertwined ivy and thick branches,  

“wtheck do we do nowwwww” said nawon, despair creeping into her voice

just as she was about to plop down in exhaustion she SCREECHED

“AHHHHHHWTDAFKISTHAT????” as she jumped up and ran, far behind justin

he turned in confusion toward where she was standing seconds ago

his eyes widened in fear, his mouth forming a slight “:o” kind of face.

justin hesitated for a second. then, without any words, bolted

“AHHHH!“

nawon followed, her stubby legs sprinted, thighs rubbing against each other, causing insane friction between her legs.

Her fatigue meter rose dangerously high.

after about 30 feet, she fell, unable to run any longer due to the burning heat.

justin, known for his inability to notice his surroundings, didnt bat an eyelash and continued sprinting.

“SCROO U JUSTIN” screamed nawon, lying on the dirty ground in pain

“wha..?” justin finally stopped and turned around to see a tiny squirrel lying sideways, about 20 feet away

looking closely he saw that the squirrel kind of resembled nawon

he approached it carefully with squinty eyes

as he got closer he finally saw what happened

“uhh what are u doing on the floor,” he asked, hopefully rhetorically.

“just help me up beach”

“psych, get up yourself, kid”

“its SIKE u dimwit”

  Suddenly everything paused.

  "Hey can we take a break? We’ve been playing for like 3 hours straight, I gotta pee,” said justin.

Through the skype window nawon could see him stretching in his recliner and putting down the controller.

“Yeah, i was getting sick of this game anyway… Omg its already 3am. Im going to sleep i have hagwon tomorrow.”

“Kay cya nerd”

Character Bio: SABRINA

Nicknames: Sabronga, Sabwina, Sab, Sarbian, Marshmallow, Sabwonga… Nerd.

Chapta 1:

One ordinary day in plainview, the DFSquad paid a visit to the local Panera. The nine of us entered the restaurant and met ingoo just chilling at one of the booths. “Yoooo it’s Ingoo!” Justin hollered. Ingoo held his emotionless face steady but he immediately took a defensive stance when we arrived. “Are you one of them?” He whipped out a shotgun and slowly backed away from us. “Uhhh, what is he doing?” Sabrina confusingly whispered to Hannah. Hannah whispered back, “I think he’s high or something.” Half a second later, the floor began to rumble. Ingoo looked to the side dramatically and majestically announced, “it is coming.” Nawon yelled over the noise, “WHAT THE HELL IS IT?!?” Ingoo replied, “It, is just it. Grace bursted, "INGOO. What the fuu…” BOOOOOOM! The local gas station down the block erupted into a gigantic mushroom cloud explosion as we all stared in horror, except ingoo, of course, cuz his face never changes. Grace, Nawon, and Caroline went insane and started panicking like fish out of water. “WHAT DO WE DO?!” Grace blurted. Nawon replied, “I DON’T EVEN KNOW, BRUh.” Caroline on the other hand was flipping over as many tables as she could. Allen finally stepped out and attempted to control the situation, shouting, “GUYS, LET’s FOLLOW INGOO FOR NOW! Brandon spoke, "Uhh, guys.” Everyone’s eyes were on the kid as he pointed to the broken glass window. Wait. Broken? HOLY FRICK. WHERE DID INGOO GO? Hannah picked up a blood stained business card off the floor. It was Ingoo’s emergency safehouse location for Zombie Apocalypse Situations. She flipped over the card and in carved writing, the words read, meet me there. Everyone remained speechless for a full 5 seconds; however, the nearby Plainview Diner began to crumble as well. Justin suggested, “Ugh, Guys, let’s just go to the directed location real quick, before It reaches this buil… KABLAM! The northern wall of Panera fell apart and we all met eyes with a monstrous snake-like creature with glimmering crimson eyes and several spikes on each of its 6 claw legs. Also, it had a jacked 8-pack of ribs and a set of demonic wings. Oh yeah, there was also some awesome dragon tattoo on its left chest. The 8 of us just bolted out the emergency exit and ran towards dunkin donuts. Wait. 8 of us? Doesn’t squad have 9 peoplez? Oh no! Michelle was left unconscious under a pile of rubble that was previously the northern wall! Justin began to sing Let it go, from Frozen, but Sabrina yelled, "NOOO, and sprinted back into the fragile building on the verge of collapse. She flung out the heavy rocks as fast as she could and pulled up the dirtied Michelle out of the pile, holding Michelle’s body carefully. Michelle had regained consciousness and tragically uttered, "Just… go on without me…” Even it stopped in its rampage to watch the tragic moment. Michelle dyingly whispered, “Sabrina,…I………am.. sorry…..” “DON’T LEAVE MEEE,” Sabrina sobbed. Michelle’s eyes finally shut and her tongue slid out. Sabrina roared into the sky, “NOOOO!!!” But, what was this? Michelle miraculously moved again! Michelle suddenly opened her eyes and blurted out, “Just kidding! I can’t die here! I need to get Kai’s DNA before I die.” Sabrina, looking pissed af, just dropped Michelle on the spot and began walking out the door as it began to launch fireballs randomly. Michelle yelled, “WAIT! Sorry man, it got my leg. I only did the act cuz I thought I was a goner there.” The words couldn’t faze the merciless Sabrina as she kept walking. Michelle yelled, “PLEASE!!! HELP ME BRUH I NEED YOU AND ONLY YOU, SABRONGA.” Sabrina turned around with a grin on her face, looking satisfied. The strong Sab picked up the weak body of Michelle like a princess and headed out the exit; however, it realized that the two were attempting to flee and launched several attacks to squash them. Sabrina weaved from side to side, leaping in zig-zag motions and dodging claw slashes and fireball projectiles. After reaching the entrance of Dunkin Donuts, the yung Sab noticed a grand opportunity in front of her eyes. She lured it closer to her and stood in front on the wooden electric cable pole thingy and as it swung two claws in a pincer motion, Sabrina ducked the attack, allowing the claws to snap the bottom of the wooden pole. CREAK! The wooden pole thingy ma bob thing finally collapsed onto it and began electrocuting it. Sabrina and Michelle took this opportunity to run towards “the location” as fast as they could, but it had already become unparalyzed! There was no way that Sabrina could outrun the monster while simultaneously carrying the heavy Michelle! Oh, whatever would the hopeless duo ever do??! Oh, what is this? SCREEEEECH!!! The rest of the squad had arrived in a Jeep to rescue them! Driver Allen yelled, “GET IN!” Nawon fired away at it with the Miniguninator 3000 that was attached to the roof of the vehicle. The recoil of the mini gun was so powerful that Nawon was constantly losing consciousness and shaking like cray zee. As soon as the duo stepped onto the jeep, Allen slammed the gas and the tires turned so fast that the car didn’t even move until a second later. It began to chase the Jeep, yet it was too slow to keep up. After gaining 50 meters of distance, Allen tried to look backwards to see if it had given up chase. Hannah, looking ahead of the driving Jeep, screamed, “HOLY CRAP MUFFINS! LOOK OUT—”

KA BLAM! The Jeep hit an enormous pothole and the vehicle took lift, doing a double front flip in the air. Somehow, the Jeep landed perfectly. Brandon haughtily declared, “that perfect landing was all cuz I exist.” Justin argued, “nah bruh, it wuz cuz I shifted my weight to the the front. I planned all that.” Grace suddenly interrupted, “uh guis, what is this?” She lifted up a metal tank that was dripping black fluids. Wait what? Doesn’t that look exactly like the oil tank– the Jeep grunted and stopped moving. “Aww Shnitzel Sticks!” Caroline yelled. Allen optimistically stated, “at least it stopped chasing us?” “Wait, why would it stop chasing?” Hannah thought aloud. We all looked back and squinted out eyes to see what it was doing. In the distance, it seemed like it was holding up some small bug with a claw and was about to eat it. Brandon, who has always had good vision, calmly said, “hey guys, that bug thing that it is holding is actually Nawon.” The rest of us all went, “Oh.. That’s what that was.” Then we all realized how urgent the situation was and jumped out of the Jeep. The squad was way too slow to rescue her. Justin yelled, “WAIT! We can’t possibly save her! She will be…. A necessary sacrifice for the better of natural selection.” Everyone hesitated for one second to consider the idea, then Grace yelled out, “WHAT THE EFF, NO JUSTIN stahp.” Suddenly, Ingoo was sighted in the distance and jumped onto it’s shoulder. We could all hear Ingoo’s mighty roar, as he somehow dislocated it’s arm, thus releasing Nawon into a freefall. Ingoo caught Nawon in mid air and they landed safely. Squad finally caught up to them and Justin blurted out, “DAYUM. That was amazing, man!” Ingoo responded, “No, we’re just childhood friends.” “Wait, what?” Justin questioned. “What?” Ingoo immediately replied with a sarcastic look, and walked away, vanishing into thin air. Everyone stood there confused while Sabrina nearly died of laughter.

Character Bio: MICHELLE

Character Bio: BRANDON

Once upon a fluff, Allen Li fell from the sky naked and landed in the backyard of Nawon choi. Upon getting up on his feet, Allen spotted Nawon holding a shovel in a blood stained shirt. “Oh tartersticks,” Allen thought. He backed away cautiously in fear of Nawon’s yandere face and accidentally tripped on a pebble, falling face first into a ten feet hole. Allen groaned in pain. His hands searched the dark floor and grasped a solid object. He surfaced the area and felt the grooves. What was it? A skull. (What else did you think it was? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). ) He looked up at the sky and spotted Nawon peering into the hole with a nasty smile on her face. THE END.

Once upon a time, in the land of Skuad, there lived a beautiful, yet lonely princess by the name of Brandonia Parkium. Trapped in her castle, Hime-sama could only reach the outside walls by flushing down bottles with messages in them. But one day, she woke up to find a bottle in her toilet. “Hmm, I thought I flushed properly yesterday,” thought the brandonia o-him-sama, but upon further inspection, the bottle’s brand was actually the Budlight Brand! This could only mean one thing. She picked up the bottle out of the piss container and carefully unscrewed the cork. Inside the bottle was a rolled strip of papyrus! What a discovery! What could possibly be written within the mysterious script? Ancient artifact writings concerning the Harappan civilization? Wait no! Maybe even a treasure map to candy island! She carefully unraveled the wrinkled papyrus. “Justin koo wuz here,” the script read. O hime sama cried in major disappointment and lived unhappily ever after in her miserable room, rotting away to flesh and bones. THE END. (• ◡ •)

In the great slave land of Sarbia, the Sarbian race lived miserably under the grand rule of King Michelleos. “Hyuk! hyuk! hyuk!,” the despotic king scoffed. Michelleos flexed her beautiful black bulging muscles, and announced, “puny weaklings have yet to feel my true power!” However, this flex was too powerful for her body, thus resulting in a reaction in the endoplasmic reticulum of each and every cell on her arm! Her beautiful bulging black muscles popped, releasing candy into the air, causing it to rain across the slave land of Sarbia. The fall of King Michellios IV marked a new, glorious holiday that would not be forgotten. THE END. (づ ￣ ³￣)づ

Character Bio: GRACE