I abused my lover, and I feel terrible and ashamed. She’s so sweet and also flawed but she’s human. One of those flaws is that she is addicted to cigarettes. It has always irked me, her smoking habits, but I thought I could work past it. I cannot control her, her body, her choice, right? So why did I do this to her?? Why did I call her disgusting so many times, then proceed to accuse her of texting someone else? I told her, “I’m scared i’m going to put my hands on you” like really?!??!?! it wasn’t even that serious and you said that?!?!?!?! WTF!!!! You respect her or don’t you??? THEN YOU RAPED HER!!!!!!!
You know you tried to rape her....you could tell she didn’t want it, and yet...you went and pumped her insides,,,,, you thought it felt good!~?!?!? IT FELT GOOD BECAUSE HOW RELUCTANT SHE WAS??!?!?!? SQUEEZING THROUGH HER FELT GOOOD TO YOU!?!?!?
You’re fucking disgusting.... you called her disgusting 4x but in reality you’re the disgusting one!!! SHE PICKED UP A CIGARETTE OFFF THE FLOOR!!! THAT WAS IT!!! THAT’S ALL SHE DID!!! why did you make her feel so terrible/??? You need to never ever ever be in her presence when you see yourself falling into that abuse hole. we’ll call it a-hole.
Acknowledge that you need to work on yourself. You may have began this relationship way too soon, before you got a chance to heal. See if you can make the best of it. It’s not impossible to fix yourself while being committed to a partnership with another person. She is vulnerable, kind, sweet, loving, caring, gentle, funny, sharp and overall a great adorable powerful powerful strong independent baby girl. She;s a baby. Just a baby. Don’t you dare curse her out. Don’t you dare fucking call her a disgusting bitch and try to make her cry
Don’t you dare accuse her.. SO WHAT IF SHE WAS TEXTING ANOTHR BOY??? SHE IS NOT A CHEATER SHE NEVER WAS STOP DOIGN THAT!! if anything, your insecurity on the mater is going to make her cheat on you more...
When you’re angry, keep your mouth shut, communicate what upset you,,, let your anger our through a different outlet. Punch a wall, scream into the sky, meditate, whatever it takes!!!
Apologize to her, a clear, genuine apology. Tell her that you’re sorry you verbally abused her. Tell her how it made you feel after the fact.
I’m sorry I called you disgusting 4 times raelle. You are not disgusting. You are lovely, beautiful, charming, intelligent, hardworking, and you make me feel very lucky.
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