i got a request and i listened to an alarming number of "royalcore" playlists on spot.ify and i tried researching knights and royalty and it just got me confused and stressed out, so historians, pls look away, i'm here for the protective and occasionally pining vibes of "the monarch and their knight" vibes!! DO NOT ADD TO THIS LIST!! i have two more royally vibing lists in the works!! and i may edit this list to add more in the future, as i have already done with other meme lists!

FROM THE KNIGHT.

" i was not asked nor ordered to take up this post, my king/queen/liege. i volunteered for the job. "

" i swore an oath to protect your life before any other, including my own, your majesty. it is an oath i am honoured to keep. "

" don't be alarmed, your majesty. i oversaw the preparation of your meal myself, and tasted the wine from a separate glass. it is both safe and delicious. "

" stay in the carriage, sire/ma'am/my liege. a fallen tree blocks our path, and i wish to secure the perimeter before we disembark to remove it. "

" sleep well, your majesty. i shall keep watch outside your chamber door tonight. you will be quite safe, i assure you. "

" your majesty! my apologies... you startled me. i did not expect you to be awake so late. is something wrong? "

" perhaps... perhaps it might be wise for me to teach you the correct ways of using a sword, your majesty? "

" i am marked down for the final jousting tournaments tomorrow. if anything happens, rest assured; i have chosen a most worthy candidate to replace me in my role in the event of my demise. "

" do not fear, my king/queen/liege. i will die before i allow any harm to befall you. and i do not intend to die tonight. "

" please, my liege. take my armour; let me strap you in. now. you must not, under any circumstances, remove this armour until you are safely within the castle walls. stay close. and pull the visor of the helmet down... good. everything will be well. i promise. "

" your majesty, i have come bearing news. i have decided to resign from my post as knight. i will remain until a satisfactorily excellent replacement has been chosen, and then i shall be leaving. "

" you seem unaware of your importance, my liege. your value far exceeds my own. "

" it is a mere scratch, your majesty. a reminder of my inexcusable failure, and the closeness to which this kingdom came to losing you. "

" you may be the first monarch i ever felt proud to protect. "

" your majesty. your majesty, wake up! we must leave, and fast. where is your cloak? the carriage is waiting, we must hurry... "

" make haste! the enemy has breached the gate; and i won't let them harm you, my liege. not while there is air in my lungs. "

" do not fear, your majesty. this is the fastest horse in the stables. you must head for the forest; i'll fend the enemies off until i know you're safely away. "

" your majesty? were you worried for me? "

" i must warn you, my king/queen/liege, these parts are not safe for anyone, let alone a member of royalty. "

" my king/queen/liege, permission to speak freely? "

" trust and ease are things i sacrifice gladly to guard your life well, your majesty. "

" with the greatest respect, you should not go alone. i can accompany you. i assure you, you won't even know that i'm there. "

" knights have a code, your majesty. and to feel the way that i feel for you... it goes against that code. against everything we stand for. in all ways. "

" should this be the last time we meet, my king/queen/liege, please know... you must know, it was my greatest pride and privilege to be your knight. "

" if i may be so bold... i do not think i would much enjoy a royal life. the weight of the crown seems too great a burden. "

" be calm, my king/queen/liege. my finest armor is polished and ready for tonight's festivities. i shall be by your side all night. "

" my king/queen/liege, you look uneasy... has something happened? are you unwell? where is your luncheon? i'll send for the doctor right away... "

FROM THE ROYALS.

" ah! you must be the new knight! do tell, what is your name? "

" i trust your word above all else. you may always offer your consult on these matters. so, please. what is on your mind? "

" i am with you far more than i am with my own betrothed, of late! people shall talk... "

" due to recent tensions between other kingdoms and our own, it has been decided that i will be requiring a personal guard. and i have chosen you. "

" what made you decided to become a knight? "

" i do not need a nanny! least of all when i am merely going to my own chambers! "

" perhaps you could teach me how to wield a sword? one must be able to defend one's self, after all. "

" be easy, brave knight... you took many injuries to protect me last night. i insisted the royal doctor tend to you, rather than your fellow knights. you are quite safe; you're in my personal chambers. "

" i very much envy your freedom as a knight. i imagine you must take it for granted. "

" don't go! you just said it wasn't safe out there! as you are responsible for my personal safety, surely you should stay with me? "

" do not let the fine food and beautiful clothing fool you, knight. a golden cage is still a cage, even with a crown atop it. "

" it is alright. i am merely ill, my knight; there was no poison. "

" i know you better than i know the crowned stranger who decided i was to marry them. how sad is that? "

" i wish to travel to the neighbouring kingdoms. you shall join me, good knight. "

" please, kind knight... do not let me eat alone. my betrothed does that to me already. i do crave some company... "

" my knight... i fear that i have made my most gravest mistake. i have fallen into a trap of my own creation. i have fallen in love with you. "

" you are wounded! sit. sit! as your king/queen/monarch, i command you, sit and let me tend to your wounds! "

" good knight, i do not believe i have ever had the pleasure of seeing you without your armour on... it is a most welcome change. "

" my marriage, it... it is a lie, it is little more than business. i feel nothing for them, my knight, not like what i feel for you! "

" this castle is suffocating... please, may i... may we go to your favorite place? a place you might go to be alone? "

" so many despise the crown. yourself included, i expect. i certainly understand; i feel the same way. so why become a knight who is sworn to defend and protect it? "

" could we just be ordinary townspeople for a day? "

" you presume too much, knight! just because my struggles are not the same as yours, does not render them non-existent! "

" my life is no more important than yours, nor anyone else's. do not think otherwise. "

" you think i would not give my life for you just as easily as you would give yours for mine? "

" it kills me, that as king/queen/monarch, i cannot choose to wed my true love. i cannot choose my knight. i cannot choose you. "

" no! i will not abandon you, my knight, so do not ask it of me again! "

the sad smile kaegan's eyes took in more seriously, losing the hoarse chuckle that had tried to settle in his chest. never had kaegan ever wanted anyone to look sorry for him or wear such a face in his direction. crayaenan being someone he cared about, would be the last one he'd wish to see with a sad smile tugging at their lips. the prince never wanted those to worry for his sake, he'd long since given up on finding hope in someone to care for him.

before he could refute a word, crayaenan continued and as his statement about looking to kaegan, not his father, that hit him like a guard's shield to the face. "you truly believe in me that much?" the male's face stilled and careful as he peered back at crayaenan. "i suppose that would be the case, yes. but what if i enjoy lonely, crayaenan?"

his straight laced face faltered at the other's words then, softening for just a glimmer of a moment. "again, observant. and i should hope you would know i wouldn't leave you to yourself." his words falling softer than they usually had and not in fear of the knights impatiently awaiting his arrival but in a gentleness towards the exile.

with a heavy sigh, he brought his boot upon the bench back onto the ground beneath his feet and stood tall. another daring bite into the fruit, he pondered over crayaenan's question. "would you prefer i say bitter? 'cause i could, should you like." pausing, he swallowed his food. "no, it was definitely ripe and sweet. i don't see everything as awful in this kingdom. not when i know others like you, crayaenan."

the   threat   of   trouble   was   a   currency   cryaenan   had   dealt   in   since   the   moment   he   had arrived in court all those years ago.   he   offered   a   soft,   huffed   breath   that   might   have   been   a   laugh   if   his   lungs   were   more   accustomed   to   the   mechanics   of   it.   trouble   was   a   shadow   that   followed   him :    it   mattered   very   little   if   it   grew   a   few   inches   longer   because   he   dared   to   look   too   closely   at   the   cracks   in   a   prince’s   armor.

“ if   being   observant   is   a   crime,   kaegan,   then   i   have   been   a   static   criminal   since   the   day   i   realized   the   sky   doesn’t   have   a   ceiling, ”    cryaenan   replied,   his   voice   humming   with   that   melodic,   underwater   resonance.   he   watched   the   way   kaegan’s   jaw   set,   the   way   the   tension   flickered   behind  their   eyes.   it   was   a   beautiful,   tragic   dance   they   did one   pushing,   one   pulling,   both   terrified   of   the   quiet   that   followed   the   truth.

when   kaegan   asked   if   he   truly   believed   in   them,   cryaenan   didn’t   blink.   he   didn’t   hesitate.   he   let   the   silence   stretch   between   them,   long   enough   for   the   distant   clatter   of   training   swords   to   punctuate   the   weight   of   his   gaze.

“ i   believe   in   the   man   who   hates   the   taste   of   iron   but   wears   it   anyway   to   protect   those   who   can’t, ”    cryaenan   said   firmly.   he   stepped   even   closer,   defying   the   invisible   line   of   royal   protocol   and   personal   defense.    “ and   you   don’t   enjoy   being   lonely.   you’ve   just   become   very   skilled   at   decorating   your   isolation   so   it   looks   like   a   choice.   but   even   the   most   beautiful   cave   is   still   a   cage   if   you   never   leave   it. ”

the   mention   of   not   being   left   to   themselves   caused   a   ripple   of   genuine   warmth   to   break   through   cryaenan’s   melancholy.   he   reached   out,   his   fingers   brushing   the   air   near   kaegan’s   sleeve,   a   phantom   touch.   he   knew   the   prince’s   strength   was   a   pillar,   but   even   pillars   crumbled   if   the   earth   beneath   them   shifted   too   violently.   hearing   kaegan   admit   that   the   apple   was   sweet that   there   was   still   a   capacity   for   something   other   than   bile   and   duty was   like   watching   a   sunbeam   pierce   the   murk   of   a   storm-tossed   reef.

when   kaegan’s   hand   found   his   shoulder,   the   squeeze   was   firm,   grounding.   to   a   creature   who   had   spent   centuries   in   a   medium   where   every   movement   was   a   shared   vibration,   that   physical   connection   was   everything.   it   was   a   tether.   cryaenan   leaned   into   the   touch   almost   imperceptibly,   his   iridescent   skin   catching   the   valelyeon   sun,   casting   faint,   oil-slick   patterns   onto   the   stone   behind   them.

“ then   i   shall   hold   onto   that   sweetness   for   you   when   you   forget   it   exists, ”    cryaenan   whispered,   his   eyes   searching   kaegan’s   with   a   fierce,   unwavering   loyalty.    “ go   to   your   knights,   prince.   wear   your   mask   and   swing   your   steel.   but   remember ⸻ the   fruit   was   sweet,   and   the   water   is   never   as   far   away   as   you   think.   i'll   be   here   when   the   iron   gets   too   heavy. ”

his dark eyes drifted to solmundr’s hand, “because i wouldn’t be the first to reach for my blade such as you.” observing him sharply, kaegan never enjoyed when they disagreed. in fact, it struck him hard each time it happened since he was the closest of bonds kaegan had within these walls.

snaking his own hand away from his sword, he canted his head upwards as kaegan eyed the other warily. both his brows came together at such information given, firm in the prince’s stare. “and where did you obtain such information then, should i consider not going? you give me one good source aside from your own inner narratives that plague you, brother.” he nearly spat back, jaw so tense he felt it could snap.

“if you truly believe i would be that blind then you are certainly no brother to me, solmundr,” his words heavy like stone. “because a brother to me would trust my instincts and not talk about like a crazed man!”

being fully aware that his old man hadn’t cared the slightest in him save for his ability to watch over a couple of hostages and train him in the same courtyard day in and out, kaegan wasn’t obedient because he’d wanted to be. nearly daily he was fighting his inner thoughts and hopes he could never wish aloud.

“no brother of mine would have such little faith in me that they dare insult me and still go for their blade!” now his anger was present, vein in his neck leaping forward as it popped. “your words are nothing if you haven’t faith in your own brother,” his voice gravely and low in volume.

“i don’t have faith in his knights as willingly as you think. if you really knew me, you would know that by now certainly. if anyone lost faith in the high king long ago first in these walls, it was me.” ending his words almost darkly in tone, he pulled his face back a fraction, tension so thick he almost felt suffocated.

kaegan wasn’t taking the request out of being in good terms with his father or in high regard to even go. he was simply playing the role he was meant to. that had never meant he’d agreed to the role or the invisible terms within it. “i almost feel sorry for you, solmundr. to think i’m merely doing what is asked because i’d like to. to think i’m sitting here working for him while he brands his own son a traitor.” a harsh laugh fell briefly between them for a beat.

“the old man may be a lousy one to be considered a ‘king’, but he wouldn’t dare put his darling son who he believes commands at every word without a thought of his own in immediate danger.” pausing, kaegan shook his head firmly, dark bangs swaying.

without another word, it was kaegan who hastily reached for his blade and pointed it directly at the other, eyes of a smoldering heat now aimed directly at solmundr. “like i said, you need viable resources and reference to such an ambush you speak of. if you truly believe it to be factual, you must let the king know. else, we lose a bunch of our own good men for nothing.”

the   tip   of   kaegan’s   blade   was   a   cold,   shimmering   punctuation   mark   at   the   end   of   a   sentence   solmundr   had   heard   a   thousand   times   before.   he   didn't   move.   he   didn't   even   suck   in   his   stomach   to   avoid   the   point.   he   simply   watched   the   steel,   then   followed   the   length   of   the   blade   up   to   kaegan’s   white-knuckled   grip,   and   finally,   to   those   eyes so   full   of   the   righteous,   wounded   fire   that   only   a   man   who   still   believed   in   fairness   could   possess.

solmundr’s   hand   remained   on   his   hilt,   but   he   didn't   draw.   instead,   he   let   out   a   short,   jagged   breath   that   might   have   been   a   laugh   if   there   were   any   humor   left   in   his   lungs.

“ a   source ? ”    solmundr’s   voice   dropped   an   octave,   vibrating   with   a   dangerous,   quiet   rasp.    “ you   want   a   signed   confession   from   the   high   king’s   spymaster ?    or   perhaps   a   map   with   a   crimson   X   where   they   plan   to   slit   your   throat ?    you’ve   spent   too   much   time   in   the   archives,   kaegan.   in   the   real   world,   sources   don’t   come   in   ink.   they   come   in   the   way   the   master   of   coin   stopped   meeting   my   eyes   three   weeks   ago.   they   come   in   the   fact   that   the   'strongest   knights'   assigned   to   your   flank   are   all   men   who   owe   their   titles   to   the   northern   lords the   very   same   lords   who   lose   a   fortune   every   time   our   father’s   'silks'   cross   the   border. ”

he   took   a   step   forward,   letting   the   tip   of  kaegan’s   sword   bite   into   the   leather   of   his   doublet.   he   wanted   the   other   man   to   feel   the   resistance,   to   feel   the   weight   of   what   it   meant   to   actually   threaten   blood.

“ you   talk   about   'instincts'   like   they’re   a   gift   from   the   gods.   instincts   are   just   patterns,   brother.   and   the   pattern   here   is   a   slaughter. ”    solmundr’s   face   was   inches   from   kaegan’s   now,   his   expression   shifting   from   freezing   disdain   to   a   raw,   ugly   sincerity.    “ you   say   i’m   no   brother   to   you   because   i   don’t   trust   you ?    i   don’t   trust   you   because   you’re   precious.   i   don’t   trust   you   because   you   represent   the   only   part   of   this   rotting   kingdom   that   isn't   covered   in   filth   yet,   and   our   father   knows   that.   he   isn't   sending   his   'darling   son'   into   danger   because   he’s   stupid,   he’s   sending   you   because   your   death   is   the   only   thing   grand   enough   to   justify   the   war   he’s   been   itching   to   start   for   a   decade. ”

the   silence   in   the   hall   felt   heavy,   like   a   physical   weight   pressing   down   on   their   shoulders.   solmundr   looked   at   the   sword   leveled   at   his   chest   and   slowly,   deliberately,   he   moved   his   hand   away   from   his   own   hilt.   he   held   his   palms   open,   a   mocking   gesture   of   surrender   that   felt   more   like   an   insult.

“ go   ahead then.   report   me   to   the   king.   tell   him   his   'black   sheep'   is   talking   like   a   crazed   man   again.   he’ll   pat   you   on   the   head,   tell   you   how   brave   you   are,   and   then   he’ll   send   you   out   that   gate   tomorrow   morning   exactly   as   planned. ”

solmundr   reached   out,   not   with   a   fist   this   time,   but   with   two   fingers,   gently   pushing   the   flat   of   kaegan’s   blade   aside.   he   didn't   care   if   it   cut   him.

“ i’m   not   the   one   branding   you   a   traitor,   kaegan.   i’m   the   one   trying   to   make   sure   you   live   long   enough   to   become   one.   because   the   moment   you   realize   i’m   right, the   moment   you   see   the   first   arrow   fly   from   a   'friendly'   thicket that’s   when   you’ll   finally   be   my   brother.   that’s   when   you’ll   finally   see   the   crown   for   what   it   is :    a   gilded   noose. ”

he   turned   his   back   then,   a   move   of   utter,   arrogant   confidence,   and   began   to   walk   toward   the   heavy   oak   doors.   he   didn't   look   back   to   see   if   the   sword   was   still   raised.

there was a shift in the air shared between them, kaegan grateful that thalina felt she could confide in him or that she saw no real mask of cruelty behind his actions or the way he presented himself. the sad smile occupying her face on made his heart flicker a beat, a pang of guilt almost caused him to tremble in his own boots. even if kaegan wasn’t the man calling all the shots, the blackfyre prince wasn’t enthralled at the treatment of people outside his father’s walls. the bastard watched with filthy eyes, calculating and cold as if he’d owned the world and everyone within it.

dipping his face and dropping his eyes from her a mere moment, kaegan let out a small sigh of defeat. it was evident in the way his shoulders tensed and his chest deflated as if it were his last breath. “heavy? certainly. but thalina, i would not trade the heaviness or the lonely seat i seem to occupy purely for being born into riches for something more precious such as your trust.” kaegan concluded, firmly in tone.

with a slight tilt of his head, his dark tresses spilled to the side along with his movement. “while i am grateful you feel such a safety within my presence, i do need to thank you. not for what you’ve blatantly stated with the intention of shared trust but for even willing me a chance to show that i’m nothing like the others here. i’ll not harm you nor your brother, even if it meant i am a traitor to my own bloodline.”

hesitating a long moment, kaegan gestured towards the empty seat in her room. “…is it.. okay for me to come in? have i that permission? i would understand should you choose to keep me at a distance still. i believe if i were in the same position, i would keep my distance from those who’ve kept me hostage, no matter how kind they may be.” never one to encroach on her or her brother’s space, kaegan felt entirely uncomfortable with that notion.

it was nice to know his company wasn’t given in vain considering who still held them under lock and key every day and night; prisoners with no real glimmer of the same hope kaegan held for them both. “it’s nice to know you enjoy my company, thalina. i’ve been told i’m quite honestly the most sour one within thes castle. yet, there you stand refuting every word i know i hear people within these halls say about me.” pausing, a small glint of acceptance swirled in his dark eyes.

the   air   in   the   room,   once   thick   with   the   stifling   formality   of   a   captor   and   his   prize,   seemed   to   thin   and   sweeten.   it   was   a   dangerous   thing,   thalina   knew,   to   find   comfort   in   the   shadow   of   a   blackfyre.   in   blaerhiel,   she   had   been   taught   that   shadows   were   only   ever   meant   to   hide   the   strike   of   a   blade.   yet,   as   kaegan   stood   there shoulders   slumped   with   a   weight   that   had   nothing   to   do   with   his   armor she   saw   not   a   shadow,   but   a   man   drowning   in   the   same   dark   tide   that   had   pulled   her   and   dravor   under.

when   he   spoke   of   his   lonely   seat   and   his   willingness   to   trade   his   lineage   for   her   trust,   the   bittersweet   pang   in   her   chest   sharpened   into   something   more   profound.   it   was   a   confession   of   isolation   that   mirrored   her   own.   they   were   both   ghosts   in   this   gold-plated   tomb,   haunting   different   wings   of   the   same   tragedy.

her   gaze   softened,   her   fingers   finally   stilling   against   the   velvet   of   her   skirts.    “ you   speak   of   your   bloodline   as   if   it   were   a   sentence,   kaegan, ”    she   murmured,   her   voice   carrying   a   trace   of   the   melodic   lilt   of   her   homeland a   sound   she   usually   suppressed   to   avoid   drawing   the   high   king’s   ire.    “ perhaps   it   is.   but   a   name   is   just   a   word.   it   is   the   hand   that   wields   the   sword   that   defines   the   man,   not   the   crest   on   the   pommel. ”

she   watched   him   closely,   noting   the   way   his   dark   fringe   hid   his   eyes,   the   way   he   seemed   to   brace   himself   against   the   very   kindness   she   offered.   when   he   finally   asked   for   permission   to   enter,   to   cross   the   invisible   line   between   'guard'   and   'confidant,'   thalina   felt   a   strange,   rebellious   surge   of   power.   for   months,   she   had   been   told   what   she   could   do,   where   she   could   go,   and   who   was   allowed   to   breathe   her   air.   giving   him   permission   felt   like   the   first   truly   sovereign   act   she   had   performed   since   the   fall   of   blaerhiel.

she   didn't   answer   immediately.   instead,   she   stepped   back,   a   deliberate   and   rhythmic   movement   that   mirrored   a   dance   from   the   summer   festivals   of   her   youth.   she   moved   toward   the   low   table   near   the   settee,   gesturing   with   a   graceful   sweep   of   her   hand   toward   the   empty   space   beside   her.

“ the   doors   in   this   castle   are   usually   opened   by   force   or   by   command, ”    she   said,   her   eyes   meeting   his   with   a   newfound   clarity.    “ to   have   someone   wait   for   a   'yes'...   it   is   a   novelty   i   find   i   quite   enjoy.   please,   kaegan.   sit.   if   we   are   to   be   traitors   together,   we   might   as   well   do   so   comfortably. ”

as   he   moved   to   join   her,   she   caught   that   faint,   rare   grin a   ghost   of   a   smile   that   transformed   his   face   from   a   mask   of   duty   into   something   startlingly   young   and   vulnerable.   it   made   her   realize   how   much   of   a   performance   they   both   put   on   for   the   vipers   in   the   halls.   he   was   the   'sour'   prince,   the   cold   instrument   of   his   father’s   will,   she   was   the   'meek'   princess,   the   compliant   jewel   in   a   stolen   crown.

“ they   call   you   sour   because   you   do   not   offer   them   the   flattery   they   crave, ”    she   said,   a   hint   of   wit   coloring   her   tone   as   she   settled   back   onto   the   settee.    “ they   mistake   your   silence   for   malice   because   they   cannot   imagine   a   man   who   thinks   before   he   speaks.   let   them   whisper.   their   words   are   just   wind   against   stone. ”

she   leaned   in   slightly,   her   voice   dropping   to   a   conspiratorial   whisper.    “ dravor   is   stubborn,   and   he   bears   the   scars   of   his   cell   more   deeply   than   i   do.   but   even   he   has   mentioned   that   the   bread   is   softer   when   you   are   on   duty,   and   the   water   clearer.   he   won't   admit   it   yet he   is   a   prince   of   blaerhiel,   after   all,   and   pride   is   the   last   thing   we   have   left but   he   sees   what   i   see.   You   are   the   only   thing   in   this   city   that   doesn't   feel   like   a   lie. ”

she   reached   out,   her   hand   hovering   for   a   second   over   the   space   between   them   on   the   velvet   cushion,   not   quite   touching   him   but   acknowledging   the   bridge   they   were   building.

“ if   the   high   king   knew   his   'knight'   was   offering   comfort   to   the   spoils   of   war,   he   would   call   it   a   weakness, ”    she   added,   her   gaze   steady   and   fierce.    “ but   in   my   country,   we   know   that   it   takes   far   more   strength   to   be   kind   in   the   dark   than   to   be   cruel   in   the   light.   thank   you,   kaegan.   for   the   truth,   and   for   the   seat. ”

a   comfortable   silence   followed,   one   that   didn't   need   to   be   filled   with   the   frantic   politeness   of   a   hostage.   she   watched   the   firelight   dance   in   his   dark   eyes   and   wondered,   for   the   first   time,   if   the   walls   of   konsrad   were   truly   high   enough   to   keep   the   world   out   forever.

more tears streamed down kai's face when seungmin revealed that he hadn't fought hard enough either. it caused his mind to whiplash nearly, the alcohol he'd already practically inhaled not making things clearer or better for the idol. forcing himself into a seated position, kai wiped his face clean and sniffled lightly as he just listened. there had been nothing more that he'd wanted within the last three years than to just listen, to just hear seungmin's voice -- not angry, not pained but just somewhat normal. "i don't... i don't care if you didn't fight for me." he revealed, knowing it was him who had started the descent of their relationship which ultimately led completely to a fall neither could repair.

"you know why i fight for you. you know i can't stand people talking shit about you!" his voice raised, not in anger but in a twisted grief so heavy his chest felt as if it were shredding within. "not when i know the real seungmin.. not when i know better." kai finished, using his free hand to hold his face in it momentarily. he felt slightly disoriented and yet, the male reached for the opened bottle he'd left prepped by the bedside on the floor.

kai was nearly ready to bring it crashing to his lips, to swallow more of the substance that made the hard memories easy to forget, the blissful ones less of a struggle to recall. but then, seungmin mentioned the food, how he hadn't wanted the cafeteria fish any longer and another small forced out sob broke the silence in kai's room. luckily for him, nobody was awake to hear such or come check in on him.

it was just kai and seungmin. a private conversation in which he'd fantasized about many times over the last three years. never did he think it'd actually happen, whether it be via telephone or face-to-face. with every article or comment from his boss made regarding seungmin and his group mates, kai always felt as if a shard of his heart had broken off, whether he fought back or not. he'd be told how the fans would eat up the rivalry and that it should stick to as planned, everything against his will that he'd wanted to happen.

i don't hate you either, kai.

his lips trembled with vulnerability at that statement alone and when seungmin continued, explained how hard he'd tried to create a barrier between them, to find reasoning in why he should hate kai, the dark haired rapper couldn't blame him. then he spoke about the bracelet, the one kai had only stopped sporting very recently as it was too much a reminder on days that were challenging enough. "you shouldn't... should never hate yourself, 'min." while his words had definitely slurred then, he was honest. at least, it was still coming from his heart before a small whimper escaped him as he did feel as if he were drowning.

kai felt much like the only anchor tied and tethered to his reality, to keep him in a peaceful frame of mind had tragically been cut short. finally reaching for the bottle below, he shoved it to his lips and took a few hearty chugs, noting the substance nearly finished. it had already been over halfway gone but that caused him to feel more pent up anger, that he couldn't break free from the white noise that played in his mind on loop about the pair and how they were meant to be on stage together -- not apart.

"i've never stopped.. drowning, seungmin.." he responded once his lips were freed of the whiskey bottle, smooth glass his fingers clutched to for some sort of reminder that the call between them was real and not some warped reality or dream. "i've probably been drowning this-- this entire time." he admitted, feeling defeated so much that his shoulders slumped, his body worn and back no longer straight and tall.

 i’m so tired of pretending that i’m okay with us being strangers.

kai hated feeling emotional and he was certain his ex-boyfriend was aware of that. as, he'd always been clear about how the vulnerability wrung him dry, fear plaguing his mind every time he felt the tiniest twitch of the thin ice he'd treaded beneath his sneakers. and now, he felt it had fractured, spiderwebbing around his entirety before he plunged below into frozen depths one couldn't survive very long in.

"you've never and will never... be a stranger to me." there was a fighting tone in his voice then, one that caused kai to unintentionally grit his teeth from all the pooled up rage his managers and team forced down his throat the last three years. "i know too much about you... too much to call you a stranger or-- or a ghost in my life's past..." maybe that's why it stung so much every time he'd witness seungmin's back turn and his silhouette grow smaller until he vanished again.

kai wasn't exactly sure how he was even navigating such a difficult conversation while the alcohol content in his bloodstream caused him to feel nearly dizzy at that point. "'min, i'm still here. i'll stay... i promise." even if it had meant there was a silence at some point, kai's words becoming more difficult to maintain.

however, then his ex mentioned wanting to see him, really see him finally. a hope burst through all his pain, allowing him to struggle in the frozen waters until he envisioned himself climbing to the surface of the ice, trying to tread on it once more. "...you will?" the question was frail, tiny in volume, so much so he wasn't sure seungmin heard him.

"there's.. a spare key still for the dorms here.. right under the potted plant." kai clued seungmin in. "we leave it there for when we're... too wasted to find our own keys." he clarified, trying to hash out a plan in his head, one that meant privacy and no fear of fans, cameras or management catching them.

then, his voice became shaky again, a lower register given and a quieter volume as well, "..most of my members have plans on the weekend in a few days.. i'm the only one not scheduled for an upcoming interview due to my... resistance, i guess..." kai trailed off but it gave them the clear for at least a full day. one full day with seungmin sounded like heaven, no matter if they had to speak about difficult subjects.

finally swallowing the last of the bottle, he dropped it softly near the others and heard a faint clank before his back hit the mattress again. kai turned onto his side, pulling his legs up from the ground and struggled to grasp hold of the top sheet of his bed. yanking it up his frame partially, he finally went silent though his breathing was still audible.

for the longest of moments, as if it lingered on forever, the line remained quiet and something about it felt peaceful this time around. it wasn't heavy nor was it weighted as when he'd answered initially. but kai had to speak more, he had to break it again. "...does that sound okay to you, 'min?" he hardly rasped out, tired eyes softly fluttering shut at the last of his words.

"you know.. i still have that bracelet," he brought back the subject for some reason. he needed seungmin to know this information as if it were the last thing he'd speak while still barely breathing and maintaining some control. another tear slid down his face, hitting the mattress and dampening the sheet. randomly, his fingers traced into the soft linen material, the fabric not soft enough, not like seungmin's skin or his chest when kai laid upon him. "i just.. i keep it safe, you know? with--with the notes from back then... the tokens you'd gift me whenever you were away too long..." too long meant even just a few days to them back in that hollowed and echoing basement.

there sat a stashed box in his closet, hidden deep within where only kai knew of its existence. "i couldn't-- couldn't get rid of any of it. because i-- i never stopped.." a sharp inhale was given before he could finish his words, "i never stopped caring about you or loving you.."

the   silence   on   the   other   end   of   the   line   was   no   longer   a   void ;    it   was   a   living,   breathing   thing.   seungmin   pressed   his   ear   so   hard   against   the   phone   that   the   plastic   casing   felt   like   it   was   bruising   his   skin,   terrified   that   if   he   loosened   his   grip   by   even   a   fraction   of   a   millimeter,   the   signal   would   snap   and   kai   would   evaporate   into   the   ether.

when   kai   mentioned   the   spare   key   under   the   potted   plant,   a   sound   escaped   seungmin a   broken,   jagged   sob   that   he   tried   to   stifle   against   the   fabric   of   his   sleeve.   it   was   such   a   mundane,   human   detail.   a   troublemaker   idol   trick.   it   was   so   far   removed   from   the   cold,   calculated   images   their   companies   projected   onto   the   side   of   skyscrapers.   it   was   a   secret,   a   weakness,   a   bit   of   trust   handed   over   like   a   weapon.

a   potted   plant,   seungmin   repeated,   his   voice   barely   a   thrumming   vibration.    “ you're   still   so   predictable.   you   always   were   terrible   at   hiding   things,   kai.   you   wear   everything   on   your   sleeve.   even   when   you're   trying   to   be   the   villain,   you're...   you're   so   transparent   to   me. ”

he   listened   to   the   distant   clink   of   a   bottle   hitting   the   floor   on   kai's   end.   the   sound   sent   a   sharp   pang   of   protective   fury   through   seungmin’s   chest.   he   knew   that   sound.   he   knew   the   way   kai   sought   numbness   when   the   world   got   too   loud,   the   way   they   tried   to   drown   the   noise   with   alcohol.   in   the   past,   seungmin   would   have   lectured   them.   he   would   have   been   the   sensible   one,   the   one   who   worried   about   the   morning’s   vocal   condition   or   the   puffiness   of   eyes   for   a   shoot.   but   now,   lying   on   his   own   dorm's   rug   in   a   room   that   felt   like   a   cage,   all   he   wanted   was   to   be   there   to   take   the   bottle   away   and   replace   it   with   the   weight   of   his   own   hand.

“ stop   drinking, ”    seungmin   whispered,   though   there   was   no   bite   in   it,   only   a   plea.    “ please.   i   want   you   to   be   awake   when   i   get   there.   i   don't   want   to   talk   to   the   whiskey :   i   want   to   talk   to   you. ”

as   kai   spoke   about   the   weekend about   the   window   of   time   where   the   handlers   and   the   cameras   would   be   looking   elsewhere seungmin   began   to   mentally   map   out   the   logistics.   he   was   already   calculating   the   exits   of   his   own   dorm,   the   blind   spots   of   the   underground   parking   lot,   the   black   hoodie   he’d   need   to   bury   himself   in.   it   was   a   career-ending   risk.   it   was   a   suicide   mission   for   his   reputation.   and   for   the   first   time   in   three   years,   the   thought   of   losing   it   all   didn't   make   his   stomach   turn.   it   felt   like   shedding   a   skin   that   had   grown   too   tight.

then,   kai   mentioned   the   box.   the   bracelet.   the   tokens.

seungmin’s   breath   hitched,   and   he   rolled   onto   his   back,   staring   up   at   the   ceiling   where   the   shadows   of   the   city   outside   flickered   like   a   silent   film.   he   thought   of   his   own   bedside   drawer,   the   one   with   the   false   bottom   he’d   installed   himself.   inside   sat   a   polaroid,   the   edges   yellowed   and   curling,   of   two   boys   with   bad   haircuts   and   mismatched   practice   clothes,   grinning   like   they   owned   a   world   that   hadn't   even   noticed   them   yet.

“ you   kept   them ? "    seungmin   asked,   his   voice   cracking   on   the   last   word.   the   confession   of   kai’s   love raw,   slurred,   and   devastatingly   honest hit   him   with   more   force   than   any   headline   ever   could.   it   was   a   truth   he   had   spent   three   years   trying   to   bury   under   layers   of   artificial   spite.   he   had   told   himself   kai   had   moved   on,   that   kai   was   laughing   at   him   from   the   top   of   the   charts,   that   the   love   had   been   a   byproduct   of   proximity   and   youth.

to   hear   it   now,   spoken   into   the   dark,   felt   like   being   handed   a   mirror   and   being   forced   to   look   at   the   reflection   he’d   been   avoiding.

“ i   never   stopped   either, ”    seungmin   admitted,   the   words   falling   out   of   him   before   he   could   coordinate   his   defenses.   he   felt   the   ice   prince   persona   dissolve   entirely,   leaving   behind   nothing   but   the   boy   who   used   to   share   a   bunk   and   a   dream.    “ i   hated   you   for   leaving,   and   i   hated   you   for   staying,   and   i   hated   you   for   being   better   than   me   some   days...   but   i   never   stopped.   i’d   look   at   the   charts   and   see   your   name   next   to   mine,   and   everyone   else   saw   a   rivalry.   i   just   saw...   i   just   saw   the   only   person   who   actually   knows   what   it   feels   like   to   breathe   this   lead. ”

he   heard   the   hitch   in   kai’s   breathing,   the   slow,   rhythmic   sound   of   someone   slipping   toward   the   edge   of   sleep   or   exhaustion.   seungmin   didn't   want   to   let   them   go,   but   he   knew   the   toll   this   conversation   was   taking.   they   were   both   bled   dry.

“ go   to   sleep,   kai, ”    seungmin   said   softly,   his   tone   shifting   into   something   tender,   a   ghost   of   the   way   he   used   to   talk   when   they   were   teenagers   huddled   under   a   single   blanket.    “ put   the   phone   on   the   pillow.   don't   hang   up.   just...   leave   it   there.   i’m   going   to   stay   right   here.   i'll   be   the   white   noise   tonight. ”

he   closed   his   eyes,   imagining   he   could   feel   the   warmth   of   the   other   man   through   the   speaker.   the   anger   wasn't   gone they   still   had   a   thousand   things   to   scream   about,   three   years   of   sabotaged   moments   and   forced   silences   to   reconcile but   for   the   first   time,   the   anger   wasn't   the   loudest   thing   in   the   room.

“ i'm   coming   this   weekend, ”    seungmin   promised,   his   voice   firming   with   a   resolve   that   terrified   and   exhilarated   him.    “ i'll   find   the   plant.   i'll   find   the   key.   and   if   we   have   to   drown,   we’re   at   least   going   to   do   it   looking   at   each   other,   not   through   a   screen.   i   love   you   too,   you   idiot.   just...   try   to   breathe   until   i   get   there. ”

the late afternoon sun coming through the windows had dragged kisun into her daily catnap, knowing that scott won't be home for hours and felt her body settle down into the soft cushions. the feline whined softly as she was woken up by the heavy weight that they weren't expecting for awhile.

each touch, each kiss, every low register of scott's voice sent their skin singing, her body arching up against the searing heat of her boyfriend and she simply wanted more and more. "yeah, just take what is yours." she breathed out, fully giving themself over to scott, knowing that he'll take care of her after taking what he needs to soothe his hunger, craving just as much as he wants.

scott's   hands,   already   roaming   kisun's   body   with   a   hunger   he   couldn't   contain,   slowed   for   a   moment   as   he   realized   that   he   was   still   fully   clothed,   and   she   was   still   mostly   dressed.   he   wanted   to   feel   her,   all   of   her,   and   he   wanted   her   to   feel   him,   every   inch   of   him.   he   wanted   to   take   his   time,   to   savor   this   moment,   but   the   urgency   coursing   through   his   veins   was   making   it   difficult   to   think   clearly.

he   released   her   wrist,   his   hand   moving   to   her   other   arm,   pinning   it   down   beside   her   head   as   well.   he   wanted   her   at   his   mercy,   wanted   to   see   the   desire   in   her   eyes   as   he   took   control.   he   held   her   gaze,   his   eyes   burning   into   hers   as   he   started   to   undress   her,   slowly,   deliberately.

he   began   with   her   shirt,   his   fingers   tracing   the   hem   before   slowly   inching   it   upward,   revealing   the   smooth   skin   of   her   stomach,   the   swell   of   her   breasts.   he   could   feel   her   heart   pounding   beneath   his   touch,   could   see   the   goosebumps   rising   on   her   skin.   he   leaned   down,   pressing   a   soft   kiss   to   the   exposed   flesh,   feeling   her   shiver   beneath   him.

he   didn't   rush,   didn't   tear   the   shirt   off   her   like   he   wanted   to.   instead,   he   took   his   time,   savoring   the   feel   of   her   skin,   the   way   her   breath   hitched   with   each   touch.   he   could   feel   his   own   heart   racing,   could   feel   the   blood   pulsing   through   his   veins,   his   body   aching   with   need.

once   her   shirt   was   off,   he   moved   on   to   her   shorts.   he   hooked   his   fingers   into   the   waistband,   tugging   them   down   slowly,   inch   by   painstaking   inch.   he   could   see   the   desire   in   her   eyes   now,   could   see   the   way   her   lips   were   parted,   her   breath   coming   in   shallow   gasps.   he   wanted   to   take   his   time,   to   draw   this   out,   but   he   was   hanging   on   by   a   thread.

as   he   finally   slid   her   shorts   down   her   legs,   he   could   feel   the   heat   radiating   from   between   her   thighs.   he   knew   she   could   feel   his   hardness   pressing   against   her,   knew   that   she   could   see   the   effect   she   was   having   on   him.   he   reached   down,   wrapping   his   hand   around   his   length,   giving   it   a   slow   stroke   as   he   held   her   gaze.

“ you   see   what   you   do   to   me,   kisun ? ”    he   growled,   his   voice   thick   with   desire.    “ you   make   me   crazy.   you   make   me   want   to   lose   control. ”

he   saw   the   way   her   eyes   widened,   saw   the   way   her   tongue   darted   out   to   wet   her   lips.   he   knew   she   wanted   him,   knew   that   she   was   as   desperate   for   this   as   he   was.   he   released   his   grip   on   her   arms,   his   hands   moving   to   his   own   clothes,   stripping   them   off   quickly,   efficiently.

when   he   was   finally   naked,   when   he   was   finally   free   to   take   her,   he   paused,   looking   down   at   her,   drinking   in   the   sight   of   her   body   laid   out   beneath   him.   she   was   perfect,   and   she   was   his.   and   he   was   going   to   take   his   time,   going   to   savor   every   moment   of   this.

he   reached   down,   his   hand   sliding   between   her   thighs,   feeling   the   heat,   the   wetness.   she   gasped,   her   back   arching,   her   hips   pressing   against   his   hand.   he   growled   in   response,   his   fingers   finding   her   center,   stroking   her,   teasing   her,   making   her   writhe   beneath   him.

he   smiled,   a   slow,   wicked   smile,   as   he   positioned   himself   at   her   entrance.   he   held   her   gaze,   his   eyes   locked   with   hers   as   he   slowly,   inch   by   inch,   slid   inside   her.   he   felt   her   stretch   around   him,   felt   her   body   welcoming   him,   pulling   him   in   deeper.

how heeyeon could sit there so composed and unbothered really got under mirae's skin, causing a shift of her eyes to narrow tightly at the woman and her long tresses that spilled over her chair. she wanted to comment, wanted to say anything until heeyeon rose and placed her phone aside, approaching her dangerously. mirae tried her best not to allow her eyes to linger too long, not on the way the dress fit and certainly not on heeyeon herself. a soft scoff exited her parted lips as the other idol's gaze ripped away and towards the other wall opposite herself.

once her personal bubble had been invaded, mirae knew she couldn't just ignore heeyeon until she went away. it never worked like that between the pair and she swallowed thickly at the heavy aroma of her perfume filtering between them both. "because it is a bad thing." her words didn't hold confidence. instead, they faltered as if she hadn't spoken them at all.

allowing her eyes to linger upon heeyeon's gaze, mirae noted the way she talked and worked so smoothly just to annoy her even further; to bring to light how grating it was that the other had so much control over how mirae felt. "you know.." the blonde wanted to begin, yet her voice fell silent, the weakest protest she may have ever made while she felt the trailing of heeyeon's finger upon her jawline. it was perfectly stilled, as if she'd perfected the move by now, causing mirae's breath to lightly hitch from the action.

that pout wasn't helpful either, the blonde's eyes narrowing like darts even further. "my life is anything but tragically boring," her protest small, knowing she couldn't outdo or say anything to rebuttal what heeyeon was spilling aloud. it was a fact. there were times her schedule was ruined because she'd somehow escape her dorm room to go find heeyeon and slink away for too long a period. usually then to just be reprimanded the next morning when she'd refused to get up on an early and tightly packed plan laid out for the idol.

both brows quirked when heeyeon mentioned witnessing her stage, watching her and coming to the conclusion of her own that mirae had been too preoccupied by thinking about other things while performing. "as if, heeyeon. i was focusing on my form and my voice, nothing of which pertains to you." now irritation definitely laced through her tone despite the blonde swallowing thickly from the closeness of heeyeon and her tempting voice.

bumping into the table, mirae glanced back briefly and knew she was caught in the worst position then. heeyeon hadn't just wanted to play. she was taunting her to, trying to reel her in under her spell much like she always had. the pressed wide grin on the other idol's face was a declaration of heeyeon having all the control and all the power within the interaction shared. "doubtful. i forgot you even had feelings." her bite back still not as strong as she had hoped it to be.

the grin widening on heeyeon's face only flustered the maknae of her unit even further, cheeks growing bright with not just a flush of shyness but an anger too. could she really make heeyeon stop? the question sank in her mind, saturated her thoughts for a very long moment while the other idol continued to press her buttons. why did she have to flirt with mirae like that and why had mirae continued to fall for it every single time? the universe never gave the blonde those answers, simply never allowed her to actually fill in those blanks.

after her warm breath hit mirae's ear, it sent a racing and jolting chill down her spine, causing her back to stiffen against the table, her hands finding the edges of it to remain balanced. dark amber hues were then connected with the other idol's once she pulled back and was given an option to follow or not. while she watched her wink, felt the heated pat to her cheek, mirae had held her breath as the flirtatious idol took her exit without even a glance back.

finally releasing her curled fingers and palms from the table, her heart raged within the walls of her chest, pumping so fiercely she ran a hand through her long locks to try and make a plan in her mind. "you don't go out there.. you stay here." mumbling to herself, mirae began to pace slightly in the small space. "no, you confront her and you tell her to stop. that's what you finally do." she reasoned, despite her inner monologue knowing she was a liar.

perhaps mirae had liked the game of cat and mouse too much to let go of heeyeon and her devious ways, her heated mannerisms which drove mirae insane. checking the clock on the furthest wall, it had been nearly six minutes since the other idol left the room and rapidly, her footsteps trailed after her despite everything in her mind screaming not to fall within heeyeon's trap laid out quite deliberately.

coming upon the parking lot, mirae glanced in every direction, her eyes wandering to make sure no one else was around to see the petite idol sneak into the other's vehicle. rapidly hoisting open the door, the blonde allowed herself in with a quick shut of the metallic clank behind as it shut.

heeyeon   didn’t   even   need   to   look   at   the   car’s   digital   clock   to   know   exactly   how   much   time   had   passed.   she   sat   in   the   driver’s   seat,   the   engine   humming   a   low,   purring   baseline   to   the   pop   track   playing   softly   through   the   speakers.   she   had   been   counting   the   seconds   in   her   head,   a   rhythmic   tick-tock   that   matched   the   steady   beat   of   her   own   heart not   because   she   was   anxious,   but   because   she   was   expectant.   when   the   door   finally   heavy-clicked   open   and   the   familiar   scent   of   ,irae’s   floral   shampoo   cut   through   the   expensive   leather   aroma   of   the   interior,   heeyeon   didn’t   startle.   instead,   a   slow,   feline   grin   stretched   across   her   lips,   one   she   took   great   care   to   hide   by   staring   straight   ahead   through   the   windshield.

the   outburst   was   immediate,   and   heeyeon   drank   it   in   like   a   vintage   wine.   listen,   you   don’t   need   to   come   around   here   acting   like   you   own   the   place.

heeyeon   finally   turned   her   head,   propping   her   elbow   on   the   center   console   and   resting   her   chin   in   her   palm.   she   looked   mirae   up   and   down,   taking   in   the   way   the   blonde’s   chest   heaved   with   shallow,   indignant   breaths   and   the   way   their   eyes   were   pinned   on   heeyeon   with   a   ferocity   that   was   meant   to   be   intimidating   but   felt,   to   heeyeon,   like   an   invitation.

“ acting ? ”    heeyeon   repeated   the   word,   her   voice   a   low,   amused   silk.   she   reached   out,   her   movements   unhurried,   and   used   the   tip   of   her   index   finger   to   trace   the   line   of   the   seatbelt   strap   resting   against   mirae’s   shoulder,   never   quite   touching   skin   but   making   her   presence   felt.    “ mirae-yah,   i   don't   think   i'm   acting.   if   i   remember   correctly,   you’re   the   one   who   just   sprinted   across   a   parking   lot   to   get   into   my   car   after   i   told   you   exactly   where   i’d   be.   if   i   didn't   'own   the   place,'   or   at   least   a   very   significant   portion   of   your   thoughts,   you’d   still   be   in   that   dressing   room   practicing   for your performance. ”

she   let   the   silence   stretch   for   a   moment,   watching   the   way   mirae’s   jaw   tightened.   the   accusation   of   being   a   'terrible   distraction'   made   heeyeon’s   eyes   sparkle   with   a   wicked,   mischievous   light.   it   was   the   ultimate   compliment.   to   be   the   thing   that   broke   mirae’s   iron-clad   discipline,   the   static   in   their   perfect   frequency that   was   where   heeyeon   found   her   greatest   joy.

“ a   distraction ? ”    heeyeon   tsked   softly,   leaning   in   closer   until   the   space   between   them   was   once   again   dangerously   thin.   the   air   in   the   car   felt   pressurized,   heavy   with   the   history   of   their   'off'   cycles   and   the   undeniable   magnetism   of   their   'on'   ones.    “ that’s   a   very   harsh   word   for   someone   who   just   wanted   to   check   on   your…   well-being.   besides,   if   i’m   such   a   distraction,   why   do   you   keep   looking   for   the   source   of   it ?    you   could   have   ignored   me.   you   could   have   let   me   drive   away.   but   here   you   are,   sitting   in   my   passenger   seat,   scolding   me   with   that   adorable   little   tremor   in   your   voice. ”

heeyeon   reached   out   again,   this   time   braver.   she   didn't   go   for   the   jawline   this   time ;    instead,   she   let   her   hand   wander   to   the   hem   of   mirae's   jacket,   tugging   at   it   playfully,   a   gesture   that   was   both   grounding   and   provocative.   she   loved   the   way   mirae   tried   to   stand   their   ground,   the   way   they   claimed   they   were   'standing   firm'   even   as   their   body   language   betrayed   the   thrill   of   the   chase.

“ you’re   so   focused   on   the   ‘trap,’   babe,   that   you’ve   forgotten   i’m   not   the   one   who   walked   into   it.   i   just   opened   the   door.   you’re   the   one   who   stepped   inside, ”    heeyeon   whispered,   her   gaze   dropping   briefly   to   mirae’s   lips   before   snapping   back   up   to   those   dark   amber   hues.   her   expression   shifted   from   teasing   to   something   a   bit   more   intense,   a   flicker   of   the   genuine   hunger   that   lived   beneath   her   playful   facade.    “ and   let’s   be   honest ⸻ you   didn’t   come   out   here   to   tell   me   to   stop.   you   came   out   here   because   the   silence   in   that   room   was   too   loud   without   me   making   trouble   in   it. ”

she   shifted   her   weight,   sliding   her   hand   from   the   jacket   to   the   seat,   her   fingers   grazing   mirae’s   thigh   for   just   a   fraction   of   a   second enough   to   be   a   promise,   not   enough   to   be   a   grab.   heeyeon   knew   exactly   how   to   calibrate   the   tension,   how   to   keep   mirae   right   on   the   edge   of   walking   out   and   pulling   them   closer.   it   was   a   symphony,   and   heeyeon   was   the   conductor.

“ so,   what   are   we   doing,   mirae ?    are   you   going   to   keep   lying   to   yourself   about   how   much   you   hate   my   ‘devious   ways,’   or   are   we   going   to   actually   make   use   of   the   fact   that   we’re   currently   unobserved ? ”    heeyeon’s   voice   dropped   an   octave,   becoming   that   honeyed,   melodic   register   that   she   knew   bypassed   mirae’s   logic   entirely.    “ you   say   i’m   a   terrible   distraction.   fine.   let   me   be   a   distraction.   let’s   see   how   long   it   takes   for   you   to   forget   all   about   your   schedule,   your   form,   and   your   voice,   and   only   remember…   this. ”

she   didn't   wait   for   an   answer.   instead,   she   leaned   back   slightly,   her   eyes   dancing   with   a   challenge   that   was   impossible   to   ignore.   she   reached   over   to   the   dashboard,   clicking   the   door   locks   shut   with   a   sharp,   final   sound   that   echoed   in   the   small   space.

chewing the croissant around between his cheeks, the smug look upon the prince’s face had yet to smooth or fade. he didn’t even flinch at the sound of his father’s booming voice. he didn’t have to glance backwards to know the servers had all halted in their movements as well, nor did he have to glance around to witness which of his guards seemed ashamed to have fallen to him and which remained confident despite their loss.

“while i have to disagree, father, i do believe i’ve been in the exact company i should have been in all this time.” another tear into the bread before he slowly let the butter melt upon his taunting tongue. “oh, it’s quite obvious they have grown soft.” kaegan began to chuckle lightly, only halting when he overheard dravor’s voice smoothly echoing in the hall.

as the other prince began the tale of how his footwork was unlike anything else he’d seen, kaegan took a large few gulps of the wine in his own goblet, the blackfyre prince staring down his father as he did so without holding back one bit.

both his brows quirked at the mention of the captain of the guard and his steel. no more playing around father, kaegan bitterly thought to himself. “if you want it that way father, then i shall accept this challenge and i will prove to you just how lazy even your captain has become.” then his face became serious, eyebrows knitting together with frustration at the old fool who didn’t believe he could do a damn thing.

instead, dravor’s voice took the hall once again, simply returning the conversation to the luscious bread. blinking a few times, kaegan flitted his eyes over to the ‘hostage’ of his home.

“the captain of the guard was as red as a beet. i couldn’t tell if he were angry or scared, if i’m quite honest, dravor.” then letting his hand fall to his lap once the goblet was replaced before his plate, kaegan looked down at his meal momentarily and gradually slid his gloved hand to the side of dravor’s thigh, fingers gingerly grazing that forest green attire he wore, silently promising him that the worst was over.

“nonsense! do i dare ask if this is true?” the high king once again took hold of his dining hall and promptly made sure to stomp his feet about like a child before all who witnessed. one of his men wasn’t holding eye contact and his dark and soulless eyes pointed him out instantly.

“you! tell me, is this tale true? has my son simply become that sharp that you allow but a mere child to bring you to your knees?” to that question, his guard was nearly shaking. “it’s true, your highness. kaegan grows stronger by the day.”

“then a challenge it will be for you, kaegan. tomorrow afternoon in the field, not the courtyard where you have perhaps memorized every spot there is to defend yourself.” piping his voice back down, the high king rose his drink finally while others began to murmur around and the hall was brought back to some life.

stabbing his fork firmly into one of the small cuts of potatoes, kaegan sighed and plopped it into his mouth. the freshness of the food meant it was picked from their own planted soils. it was tender, yet the flavor was divine.

unaware his hand still lingered next to dravor’s frame, the dark haired prince studied the hall as servants moved once more in free motion, guards and the king’s men sharing the typical conversations while sharing some more mead. mugs held high in the excitement of a challenge to witness between the son of the high king and the highest of his knights.

“tell me, dravor,” kaegan’s voice nearly a whisper. in fact, he halted from speaking once a server came to refill his goblet, only continuing when she was no longer in earshot. “do you believe i shall fair okay in this challenge? or, do you believe me to be a fool to accept it?” kaegan wanted an honest opinion, his head turning briefly for his dark hues to connect to the other prince’s.

a trickle of worry slithered down his spine but he knew he’d get through it. no matter the difficulty or worry of his blood being spilled on the training field. his father was right. kaegan was far too accustomed to the training yard and the actual practice field held more obstacles he wasn’t as familiar within the surroundings.

the   weight   of   kaegan’s   hand   against   his   thigh   was   a   lightning   strike   in   a   room   full   of   shadows.

dravor   didn’t   flinch to   flinch   was   to   invite   the   high   king’s   predatory   curiosity but   the   heat   of   that   touch   seeps   through   the   forest-green   wool   of   his   trousers,   anchoring   him   to   the   present   moment.   it   was   a   grounding,   dangerous   thing.   here   they   were,   surrounded   by   the   clatter   of   silverware   and   the   low,   rumbling   boasts   of   men   who   thrived   on   the   scent   of   blood,   and   kaegan   was   touching   him   as   if   they   were   alone   in   the   silence   of   the   library.

the   high   king’s   attention   had   shifted,   thank   the   gods,   to   the   cowering   guard.   dravor   watched   the   exchange   with   the   detached,   clinical   eye   of   a   man   who   had   spent   his   life   studying   the   anatomy   of   power.   he   saw   the   way   the   king’s   lip   curled a   father   who   didn't   want   a   son,   but   a   weapon.   and   he   saw   the   way   the   guard’s   knees   nearly   buckled.

when   kaegan   finally   leaned   in,   their   voice   a   low   vibration   that   seemed   to   travel   directly   from   their   lips   to   the   sensitive   skin   behind   dravor’s   ear,   the   blaerhiel   prince   felt   a   momentary   lapse   in   his   carefully   constructed   armor.

do   you   believe   i   shall   fare   okay   in   this   challenge ?    or,   do   you   believe   me   to   be   a   fool   to   accept   it ?

dravor   didn't   answer   immediately.   he   took   a   slow,   deliberate   sip   of   wine,   using   the   movement   to   mask   the   way   his   heart   hammered   against   his   ribs.   he   looked   at   kaegan really   looked   at   him.   he   saw   the   smudge   of   dirt   still   clinging   to   their   hairline,   the   fire   of   the   hearth   reflected   in   the   dark   pools   of   their   eyes,   and   the   stubborn   set   of   a   jaw   that   refused   to   be   broken.

“ you   are   a   fool,   kaegan, ”    dravor   whispered   back,   the   words   barely   a   breath,   meant   only   for   the   space   between   them.    “ but   you   are   a   magnificent   one.   the   captain   is   a   brute ;    he   relies   on   the   weight   of   his   plate   and   the   length   of   his   reach.   he   fights   like   a   glacier slow,   inevitable,   and   crushing.   you   fight   like   the   wind   off   the   black   coast.   if   you   try   to   meet   his   steel   with   your   own,   he   will   break   you.   but   if   you   make   him   chase   a   ghost... ”

dravor’s   eyes   flickered   to   the   high   king,   ensuring   the   old   man   was   still   occupied   with   their   mead   and   malice.

“ you   will   fare   better   than   okay.   you   will   humiliate   him.   and   that, ”    dravor   added,   his   voice   dropping   an   octave,    “ is   what   your   father   truly   fears.   not   that   you   are   weak,   but   that   you   are   better   than   the   system   he   built. ”

he   felt   the   graze   of   kaegan’s   gloved   fingers   again,   a   silent   promise.   it   was   an   ache   in   dravor’s   chest,   a   sharp   reminder   of   the   complexity   of   his   position.   he   was   a   husband   to   thalina   by   the   sacred   laws   of   their kingdom,   bound   to   his   twin   by   blood   and   a   crown   that   no   longer   existed.   he   was   a   hostage   to   the   valelyeon   line,   a   living   trophy.   and   yet,   he   was   falling   for   the   very   man   who   was   supposed   to   be   his   jailer the   'rookie'   prince   who   risked   their   father's   wrath   just   to   make   sure   dravor   didn't   starve   on   his   own   grief.

at   kaegan’s   second   question the   gentle   plea   for   him   to   eat dravor   felt   a   lump   form   in   his   throat   that   no   amount   of   wine   could   wash   away.   it   was   such   a   small   thing,   a   request   for   him   to   nourish   himself,   but   in   this   court   of   vipers,   it   felt   like   the   most   profound   act   of   rebellion.

“ i   have   eaten   more   tonight   than   i   have   in   a   week, ”    dravor   lied   softly,   though   he   did   reach   out   and   break   off   a   small   corner   of   the   potato   kaegan   had   pointed   out.   he   placed   it   in   his   mouth,   the   flavors   of   the   earth   and   salt   blooming   on   his   tongue.   it   didn't   taste   like   ash   anymore.   it   tasted   like   life.    “ the   price   of   your   bravado   is   high,   prince.   i   would   be   a   poor   'guest'   indeed   if   i   let   your   efforts   go   to   waste. ”

he   risked   a   fleeting,   genuine   smile the   kind   he   usually   reserved   only   for   thalina   when   they   were   tucked   away   in   their   drafty   chambers,   whispering   of   the   home   they   would   never   see   again.

“ tomorrow,   in   the   field...   i   will   be   watching, ”    dravor   said,   his   hand   twitching   beneath   the   table,   almost   reaching   out   to   cover   kaegan’s   before   he   caught   himself.    “ do   not   let   him   see   you   bleed.   my   sister   may   have   the   migraine   today,   but   if   you   return   to   the   hall   tomorrow   with   a   hole   in   your   chest,   i   fear   i   shall   be   the   one   who   cannot   be   consoled. ”

the   hall   was   loud   now,   the   tension   of   the   king's   outburst   dissolving   into   the   rowdy   anticipation   of   tomorrow’s   spectacle.   to   the   guards   and   the   courtiers,   it   was   just   a   sport a   chance   to   see   the   prince   humbled   or   a   knight   proven.   but   to   dravor,   it   felt   like   watching   a   man   walk   into   a   cage   with   a   lion,   armed   only   with   a   toothpick   and   a   smile.

he   leaned   back,   the   "witty   hostage"   mask   sliding   back   into   place   as   a   servant   approached   to   clear   the   plates.   he   felt   the   absence   of   kaegan’s   touch   the   moment   the   prince   pulled   their   hand   away,   the   cold   air   of   the   hall   rushing   in   to   fill   the   void.

“ would   you   like   me   to   describe   the   captain’s   preferred   opening   stance   later   tonight ? ”    dravor   asked,   his   voice   returning   to   its   melodic,   courtly   volume,   loud   enough   for   any   eavesdroppers   to   find   it   harmlessly   academic.   “ i’ve   spent   many   an   afternoon   in   the   gallery,   kaegan.   i   have   a   very   sharp   memory   for...   weaknesses. ”