Sprouting Wings

My encounter yesterday with the ex has totally messed my day up. It really annoying because I'm meant to be starting this new chapter of my life positively and it was going well until yesterday. I have a month until I go to visit my friend in Falmouth so thats how long I have to try and enjoy my home like I used to. Its not fair that this situation is ruining this time I have got at home, and Im the only person who can do something about it …. cheer up you silly girl. He doesn't deserve you. You ARE better than him and everybody told you that. He really isn't worth it. Life may be crap now but its going to get SO much better……. and that goes for anybody else in a similar position to me. Nobody should ever have that much power over your mood. 

I hate how I still can't deal with seeing my ex boyfriend. At first I'm ok. I tell myself that he doesn't deserve to have any power over me and I am totally above him and over this, but then after a while I start to think about our past and the last 6 months and how awful they've been as a whole and how if I just had his friendship through this though time, like he promised, how much easier it would have been…but instead he broke our friendship off and as a result he completely broke me too…... So even now just the sight of him brings back all these horrible feelings of sadness and anger and I start to feel broken inside again. He was my best friend, and i loved him so much and i still care for him and it kills me inside that I can't just hate him and forget his face forever. If I stay in my home town this summer I'll have to deal with seeing his face at every social event there is and that is not something I am willing to face any more, so I have decided to go and stay with friends that live in places far away from here so that i'll at least have some sort of chance of having a happy summer, because god knows I need one.