Hades & PersephoneâThe actually chill lord of the underworld whom a lot of people fear and then the flowery, sparkly lady who UNLEASHES WINTER ON THE MORTAL REALM AND IS TERRIFYING IN HER OWN RIGHTâ - T Tallest Silver

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Hades & PersephoneâThe actually chill lord of the underworld whom a lot of people fear and then the flowery, sparkly lady who UNLEASHES WINTER ON THE MORTAL REALM AND IS TERRIFYING IN HER OWN RIGHTâ - T Tallest Silver

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Terracotta group representing the Goddesses Demeter and Persephone - from Island of Melos, circa 4th c. BCE
"Mom, why do the best people die?" "When youâre in a garden, which flowers do you pick?" "The most beautiful ones."
holy shit (via raysofthesun)
Terrible Pick-Up Lines Meme
"Do you know what would look good on you? Me."
"Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face."
"Fuck me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?"
"Hey, want to play house? I could be the door, and you could slam me all night long."
"How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?"
"I do floors, doors, windows, and you."
"I wish you were a screen door, so I can slam you all day long."
"If I flip a coin, what are the chances of me getting head?"
"Is that crotch sweat, or are you just happy to see me?"
"If I was a skateboard and you were a ramp, I would grind you all night."
"If I was your coworker, I'd sexually harass you."
"If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the Holidays?"
"Iâm tired. Youâre tired. Letâs sleep together!"
"Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked."
"Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down."
"Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, 'Fuck it'."
"My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it."
"Remember my name. you'll be screaming it later."
"Roses are red, violets are blue. I like spaghetti, let's go screw."
"That dress looks very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I'd be coming, too."
"Wanna play some football? We can both be skins."
"What are you doing tonight? Besides me?"
"Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under."
"You are what you eat, and tonight I want to be you."
"You must be a cold shower, because I'd love to be inside of you."
"You must not have air conditioning because I'm your fan and you're turning me on."
"You remind me of my pink toe; you're small, you're cute, and I'm probably going to bang you on my coffee table later tonight."
"You wanna go skinny dipping in my water bed?"

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Impulsively, he raised their joined hands, pressing a kiss to her thumb. â Your enthusiasm, your demeanor, the joy you bring. Hmmm. What else? â
Her hapiness at his action was written all across her face, as it always was when he initiated signs of affection like this, "Oh, there is an endless list that you have to choose from. But... for now I think that will do."
He squeezed her hand. He was responsible for that shift in her face, and so he was responsible for replacing that smile. â I donât think Iâve complimented you yet, my queen. Perhaps I should start with your optimistic outlook. â
As always, his words managed to put a smile back on her face, "Ah, yes. One of my many positive traits." Her thumb stroked the back of his hand absentmindedly, "Anything else, my king?"
" Not much changes here, a fact Iâm sure you remember even after your long months away. Few souls have done the proper rituals anymore. More and more cremations instead of burials, far fewer with currency. â He sighed softly, looking towards the crowded opposite bank of the river they were approaching. â All in all, flower, nothing of import. â
"Few mortals remember us nowadays... it is a shame." The smile dropped from her face at that thought. It was becoming harder and harder to find mortals who continued to worship them, "Still. I don't suppose it matters. Stagnancy can be relaxing at times."
" Alas. " He said, tssking loudly. A mischievous smile almost overrode the peaceful one heâd been wearing since her arrival, but didnât succeed.
He stumbled, though would never dare admit it, after her, stretching his longer legs to accommodate the pace she was going. â Impatient? You are going to be here for the next few months, after all. And you have spent the past however long visiting here annually. Nothing new has been added, I assure you. â
"Shh! I haven't been here for months! I want to see everyone and everything!" She looked back at him as she spoke, an excited grin on her face, "And-- and you can tell me everything that's happened since I've been gone."
" Tell her that, if she cares to, she is welcome here as well. " As if that would turn out in any other way but âbadlyâ. He skirts widely around a pool of water, not caring to fall in and lose his memories anytime soon.
" We should start that process immediately then. Care for a tour? " He grinned, turning the pair of them slowly towards the direction of the entrance. " Iâm sure Cerberus will be delighted that you are back. As I am. "
"I don't think that would work." Persephone shook her head with a smile. The thought of her mother being in the underworld was frightening enough-- she'd never want want to turn that thought into a reality.
"That sounds lovely." Her pace quickened and she gently tugged on his hand to make him match her, "Come on!"

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He started to walk, meandering along the path heâd recently rushed down. â She will see you in a few months, as always. â He wished to ask the date they had decided on for her departure, but didnât want to spoil this. Later, then.
" Well. Busy, of course, but well. " A small nod. " Cerberus has certainly missed you. Perhaps he is beginning to rival me in that area. " He interjected, not wanting to continue this current conversation focusing on him.Â
She walked beside him leisurely, granting him her full attention, "In her opinion, that is too long. Her opinion of this arrangement is the same that it has alway been." She didn't particularly want to spend much more time talking about her mother and was quick to latch onto the change of conversation.
"I have missed him, too. The animals of the upper world have nothing on him," A warm smile crossed her face, "I can't wait to get used to being down here again. I truly have missed it."
He wasnât sure if it was an effect that she had, or the imaginings of his mind, but the dank, static place that was the land of the dead seemed to brighten slightly on her arrival. It would never fully mimic the world above, but it seemed to make an effort for her.
" I see. " He said cooly, reaching for her hand. His fingers were all ready curling to hold hers tightly, though her hand wasnât quite in his grasp yet. " How is my sister? " Perhaps the best indicator of his improved mood was his reference to Demeter. Rather than calling her by or name or âyour motherâ, he brought to light his personal relation to the goddess.
" And Artemis? Athena? The rest? And, most importantly, how are you?"
She brought her hand to his, her fingers curling around his. For a few moments she was silent, simply enjoying being back here with him, before she looked over at him, "Everyone is fine. Mother was a bit disappointed to see me leave, but isn't she always?"
"I have been doing well. It has been quite relaxing in the upper world." She paused for a moment, before asking, "And here? How have you been? Anything interesting happen while I was away?"
Time passed strangely in the Underworld. Or more accurately, it didnât. It was a realm without measurable time, except perhaps by the entrance of more and more souls. And that was variable, prone to changes in mortals society, the gods whims, and numerous other factors.
The only true measure of time was Persephoneâs comings and goings. With such a broad measure, it was easy of him to lose track. So the announcement of her return was a surprise to him, though certainly a pleasant one.
He made his way hurriedly, though somehow still dignified, to the edge of his realm. A smile crept across his face at the first sight of her. âHello.â He greeted calmly, belaying the small tremors of happiness within him.
Persephone loved her time spent with her mother in the upper world-- she really did. After the winter months spent in the underworld she found that she had a lot to talk to her mother about, and on the rare occasions that conversation dried up she could busy herself with her nymph friends.Â
However, depite all of that, there was the constant ache of longing. She'd never tell her mother, or even the nymphs, but she truly missed the underworld. She missed the atmosphere, the sense of power she had there, but most of all, she missed Hades.
And today was the day. No longer would she have to miss it, because today she could return.
Seeing him standing there she barely managed to contain her happiness, forcing herself to mimic his tone as she responded with a polite nod, "I'm back."
Ok, but have you considered...
The guy living below me has a really loud alarm clock that always wakes me up at the ass crack of dawn AU
I went to investigate a scream and found my neighbour standing on a chair to avoid a rat/cockroach/snake AU
My neighbour has a really squeaky bed and my bedroom is right below theirs AU
Someone keeps stealing my doormat AU
My pet tarantula escaped and I forgot to warn the guy below me who is scared of spiders AU
I need you to pet sit my pet this weekend and I forgot to mention itâs a giant snake, the mice are in the freezer, thanks bye! AU
The apartment above me has left their tap on or something and water is LEAKING THROUGH MY CEILING WTF! AU
My neighbourâs sister got the wrong house number and barged into my apartment AU
The guy next door/my roommate always steals my coffee, so I started to make extra AU
APARTMENT AUs! (ďžâăŽâ)ďž
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" - Your mother. " He pushed himself up, dusting the dirt off his hands. " He agreed then? "
"Hahaha you are hilarious." She was anything but amused, "Yeah. He was surprisingly for the idea."
He settled down once more, surrounded by bright blooms and sunny skies. He doubted heâd ever felt more at ease in an unfamiliar setting. The flowers truly were beautiful, after all.
It was a while before she returned, but when she finally did there was a pleasant aura around her, indicating that things hadn't been bad in the slightest, "Guess who's getting married."