𝔊

Blue as can be

#001

Platonic!Batfam × Terminally ill!Neglected!Reader synopsis: you're dying and you're okay with that, but the family that's been ignoring you since ever isn't.

warnings (tags): f!reader, angst, neglect, found family, idk first fic ever just tell me if a miss something, not reviewed work may have wrong grammar, it is kind of long (don't know many words).

You've been sick for a while now, three years or so. It all started with a migraine that never ended so you went to the doctor. Not Dr.Thompkins, a doctor who did not have any involvement with the Wayne family, someone who couldn't contact any of your siblings or father, and like an angel Dr.Reilly showed up.

A grumpy old man, he was surprised when he noticed that you were very independent for your age, your father signing papers for you to go to medical appointments alone. He thought that because you're rich, you would be spoiled and annoying, then he opened to you like a flower in a couple of days after seeing how much of a smart person you are.

It was just a migraine, you needed the pills for the pain so you could go back to school and not bother anyone in between that.

But of course it couldn't be that easy. Dr. Reilly didn't want to give strong pills to a fourteen-year-old, so he tried some treatments for stress and anxiety. None worked, and other problems began to emerge: extreme fatigue, constant vomiting, rambling, memory and weight loss, emotional lability.

When the results came in, it was everywhere; brain, lungs, liver, and right femur. Dr. Reilly gave you a death sentence, six months, a year if you're lucky. He looked at you like he was ready to mourn you, he felt sorry for you.

Honestly, three months and he's become more attached to you than he should have. After all, you appeared to him as a teenager with headaches, questionable friends, and family problems you didn't talk much about. A smart girl with a bright future ahead of her.

"Don't worry, I will be just fine." Was what you told him. He didn't know the great ace up your sleeve you had; your next step was to visit Talia Al-Ghul. Damian's mother.

The visit was quick, a brief exchange of 'how are you?'s and chit chat about Bruce and Damian before getting to the main point. "I'm dying, of cancer. Can I use the Lazarus Pit?"

Talia's eyes widened; even though you tried to appear calm, the mere fact that you had resorted to the pit showed how desperate you were to live. She eventually allowed it, giving the excuse that she's only doing it because you're taking good care of Damian and you're Bruce's daughter and she is afraid of what he can do if he loses another kid.

Oh, only if she knew.

You thanked her anyway.

After the pit, your eyes turned a certain shade of green but only lasted a couple of hours. You repeat the tests, and the following month you go back to the Dr.Reily and you're hugged by a miracle; you don't have cancer anymore and a bonus, you seem younger!

"What did you do kid, a pact with the devil or something?" Dr. Reilly jokes, delighted by the test results; he's happier than any doctor would be for a patient.

"Or something." You smile back before noticing the way he hesitates slightly, as if gathering courage to say something.

"We should celebrate that. My wife really wants to meet you, do you want to have dinner at my house tonight? Cat makes the best salmon gratin, if you like that sort of thing."

He pretends indifference but he is obviously anxious when you take a few seconds to answer, when you accept, his cheeks turn slightly pink and a relieved smile spreads across his face. He tells you to wait until the end of his shift so he can take you home; you try to convince him to at least let you change clothes to look 'presentable' for his wife. He answers that 'there is no need, because you're already perfect.'

Not in that weird way, the way fathers talk to their daughters. The way your father never talked to you.

The ride was fun, he put on music that you said you liked, and sang along with you even though he didn't know the lyrics very well. And when you called him 'Doc' he said 'Oh, just call me Ben.'

His house was the american dream kind of house, white fences and rose garden. A big dog waited at the doorstep and almost knocked Ben over at the entrance; a delicious smell of homemade food filled your nose as soon as you finished playing with 'Buddy'.

"Oh my, so you are the girl Ben talks about so much." An elegant woman steps out of the kitchen. In her hand a big shining diamond and her neck in a pearl necklace. "I am Cat Hardy" She quickly shakes her head. "I mean, Cat Reilly. Still trying to catch on the new name."

Ben gives Cat a quick kiss, whispering a small 'I missed you,' they're a cute couple. Newlyweds, apparently, which surprised you. Ben seemed such a bitter man at first, now he's more of a sweet, wrinkled, happy man.

"Both of you, wash your hands before sitting at the table." She points to Ben and you going back to the stoven.

"Yes, ma'am." Ben salutes before showing you where the restroom is.

"So, Ben talks about me." It's the first thing you tease Ben about when you sit down at the table, which is laden with food: salads, corn, rice, grilled salmon, french fries, juice and a lot of other things.

"You have no idea, when your test results came back he spoke with all his oncologist colleagues and stayed up all night searching for researchs to help you." Cat reached for Ben's hand when she noticed his ears had turned red, giving him a proud smile.

"Well, it is my job as your doctor to find any ways to help you! But I wasn't of much use since you healed yourself." He timidly explains himself before quickly changing the subject to how delicious the food was and that they should eat it before it got cold.

The rest of the night is filled with stories from both of them, from before they met each other, and how it seemed 'fate' for them to end up together. You listened attentively to every sentence while stuffing your mouth with food, hoping that moment would never end.

It did though, you needed to go back to the manor before someone called you, which was unlikely but not impossible. You know how much of paranoid your crazy family is.

Dinner nights at the Reilly's house, however, continued to happen, more frequent each night.

One of those nights got too late to go home through the dangerous streets of Gotham, so Cat asks you to stay the night. When she shows you the supposed guest room, it's decorated with things you like. The color you like, changes of clothes in the style you wear, even full of DVDs of your favorite artists.

These sleepovers are also becoming more frequent; you always text Alfred 'spending the night at a friend's house, no need for dinner.' so he doesn't worry and you come back to the manor the next night after going shopping with Cat.

You didn't want to admit it, but it was too nice hanging out with her. She gave you so much advice about clothes, boys or slash and girls, about college and the future as well. It was like having a mom.

When you're not with Cat and Ben, you're with your friends. A group of five, you guys got close in school, having similar problems, you helped each other however you could. Most of the time it meant getting drunk with cheap wine in an abandoned park after school, venting — often crying — about your problems and seeking advice. Everyone doing their best to stay away from home for as long as possible.

Talking about home, the manor never really was a 'home', for you, it was just a place to shower, sleep and change clothes.

Your biological mother left you at The Wayne Manor gates when you were just a few months old, with a letter saying 'I'm not in a position to take care of her right now. Since she's also yours, do a good job and raise her well until I get back.'

But Bruce really didn't want anything to do with children at that moment; he was training to become Batman. But his soft heart couldn't resist, he heard your baby noises when Alfred picked you up after the paternity test came back positive and told him 'Buy her a crib'.

After that, your father never had a conversation longer than five minutes with you. He put you in school as soon as he could and left you to stay in between the shelfs on the hallways of the manor, occasionally picking you up to show you off at galas.

You never really blamed him for not giving you much attention; in fact, he was 'forced' to take care of you at a relatively young age, and he didn't really want to have children at that time.

Alfred was a nice guy, he cleaned you and dressed you until you could do it yourself, but he was never a 'father,' much less affectionate. He was more interested in Bruce and his purpose, and that you wouldn't interrupt or get in his way. So, for you, the loving old man that your future siblings considered family, Alfred Pennyworth, was just an employee who slept in the downstairs room, a nanny.

Then your brother, Richard 'Dick' Grayson, arrived. The perfect one, the wonder boy. Bruce's greatest blessing, he saw himself in Dick. Dick was older than you, smatter than you, better than you.

He was usually angry, and you tried your best to be friendly. Come on, you had gained an older brother! You should look out for each other; you're family. But his focus was elsewhere, he was Bruce's partner, not yours. So gradually you just became polite to each other, waving from time to time.

After he left, you sent him invitations to your school plays and science fairs in case he felt like it, but he never showed up or replied to any messages. Like, ever.

Bruce, however, couldn't stay alone for long, and since you weren't good enough for him, he brought a boy off the street, Jason Todd. Oh, you adored him. He was this ball of happiness, jumping around and helping you to do your homework. He is your brother.

You hated when Bruce grounded him for, as you say, not acting like Dick enough. Was he reckless? Absolutely, but he always did the right thing. He was just a kid, a good kid; Bruce was the idiotic one for expecting maturity from him.

Then he died. He left you alone in that damn cold house with a sad inconsolable Bruce, that, as the great father he is, left you to rot in that place alone, going through grief completely unsupported, only to show up 'some time later' with a new, improved version of Robin.

When Tim came, you got so mad. He let Jason die and wants to drag another child to a similar fate just because he's smart? Well, what can you expect from someone who let them put 'Good soldier' on his own child's tombstone.

You understood the purpose of Batman and Robin's work, and that's why you hated yourself for being upset at your father for giving it more attention, but how could he be so cruel? They were all a bunch of kids.

Even hating the situation, you couldn't bring yourself to be mean to Tim. Always following the rules of good neighborliness even when he blatantly ignored your presence.

You didn't know how to react when Tim showed up with a weird girlfriend, Stephanie Brown. You always thought he would end up on the other way, but you were happy to see a girl around. When they broke up she still hanged around for a while and showed up sometimes, you two never really talked so you don't have thoughts on her.

To be honest, you thought your father ignored you because misogyny, unfortunately, is still deeply rooted in society, and he thought you weren't good enough because you were a woman, but after Cassandra appeared, you realized the problem was only you. He didn't wanted you to be his daughter, so after that you stoped trying so much for him to feel like your father or getting irritaded because he doesn't want to act like a father to you.

They seemed to have a stupid bond between them, understood each other type of shit. Good for them. None of them talked to you very much. You read a little about her past in Bruce's files in the Batcave and felt sorry for Cass enough to know that she needed time to become comfortable, learning to express herself through words. You always smiled at her, though; she was kind of cute and your new sister. She wasn't obligated to reciprocate your feelings, but the least you could do was be kind to her.

You've heard Jason is back under the name Red Hood and is a criminal, your brother who was sunshine is now a crime lord who's returned from the dead. And he didn't even think to visit you or call and say 'I'm alive and well sis, don't worry.'

You were right to feel selfish towards him, after all he was all you had, but you also couldn't blame him, he was tortured and killed and then brought back to life, he had the right to be in his rebellious and cruel era.

Afther a while a breaking news happened and you couldn't hold back the 'You should start using protection, you know, it's the first thing you learn after the human reproduction chapter in school' when Bruce showed up with Damian, which elicited a tired sigh from him. Wow, minimal interaction in almost five months, a new record.

Damian looked you up and down and decided you weren't relevant enough for him to speak to you, so you also decided he wasn't relevant enough. Over time, you had some small discussions about inheritance and who is worthy of what. You didn't engage much because if you stop applauding a crazy person, they'll leave, but this little gremlin never leaved.

So annoying, but still, your brother, a child who grew up with assassins and has Bruce Wayne's blood that explained that way of his. You eventually forgave him mentally for being unbearable and having weird thoughts about heritage, even though your father is alive and healthy...ish.

Then your father disappeared and came back, and—get ready for the surprise—he brought another boy to the manor. This time a metahuman. Duke Thomas was nice and polite, waved "good morning" when you were going to school, and always asked if you were okay when you came home, made small talk from time to time. The only person in that family who had the knowledge to socialize with other people who were now his family. You liked him; he made you feel at least a little seen in that manor.

None of them knew much about you, and you also made little effort to find out about their lives; you understood that everyone had their own reasons and traumas for being the way they are, so you didn't interfere or cross lines.

Getting upset because people don't look at you when everyone else's life is miserable is just childish. You were rich and intelligent in a world where people starve to death from poverty; you were going to survive being ignored.

You never told any of them when you got sick because you knew the quickest way to solve the problem. It was just cancer, nothing too serious. You either died or survived, there is no in between that.

Three, almost four years later, Ben still makes sure you're healthy; makes you eat vegetables and fruits, keep up with your checkups, and even exercise with him so you can motivate each other. So you hated it when he called you to his office with a sad face after you vaguely said you were feeling big headache again.

He shows you new imaging tests and it is back. You think you repeated the question 'what?' more than five times already. It isn't possible. The pit should have saved you, cured the damn cancer.

"I know you've always handled everything on your own, and honestly..." Ben sighed; you could feel the indignation and exhaustion trying to leave his body. "I held back a lot from reporting your father for negligence because you asked me not to."

He types some things on the computer and turns the monitor towards you. "The first time you got sick, I did some research on your situation and found some good new procedures that at the time were just ideas, but now can really help you."

You nodd along; his words seems to go in one ear and out the other. You are still wondering what the hell went wrong in the pit. That thing is pure magic; how did that strange mass manage to defeat fucking magic?

"But you need an adult guardian preferably who is a family member to accompany you." That alone snapps you from your internal questioning, your eyes quickly meeting his. You wrinkle your nose in denial and cross your arms. "Don't give me that look, these treatments are expensive and not very well known, and you're still a minor."

"Only for a week. Besides we can pretend we are father and daughter, we did it before." You shrugg, anything would be better than informing your family that you were sick.

"Your name ends with Wayne in it, and where would I get four million dollars a month from?" The side eye he gives you is almost offensive.

He quickly relaxes his facial muscles and returns to the worried Ben from the beginning of the conversation. "I already told you they're expensive. You know I wouldn't ask to see your stupid father for nothing."

"I'm not doing it, let me die already." You throw your head back dramatically, hoping Ben to at least chuckle.

"If you don't call someone responsible for you, you won't be having dinner or sleeping at my house anymore. And no shopping with Cat."

"What?! That's so unfair! I have cancer, you can't deny a cancer girl anything!" You almost jump out of your chair, accidentally hitting the table too hard. Ben just gives you a look, and you sit back down and murmur a small 'sorry'.

"The cancer card doesn't work for me, young lady. Bring that man here tomorrow; the sooner he knows, the faster we can get treatment and the faster you'll be cured."

You groan in irritation and stomp out of the office; it's late afternoon and the sun is setting. You should get home soon. Who the hell are you going to call?

Fuck.